Married People Please Tell Me....

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I mean, if I look like a cover of the SI swimsuit edition, can't I get my GQ husband? I mean shoot.

And okay maybe I'm not the cover, but I'm definitely a glossy advertisement insert.

It's only gonna work if the guy makes me wanna werque (if ya know what I'm sayin') and 5'8" and balding just ain't gonna cut it.

But yes, someone who fulfills you is ideal.
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Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

I mean, if I look like a cover of the SI swimsuit edition, can't I get my GQ husband? I mean shoot.

And okay maybe I'm not the cover, but I'm definitely a glossy advertisement insert.

It's only gonna work if the guy makes me wanna werque (if ya know what I'm sayin') and 5'8" and balding just ain't gonna cut it.

But yes, someone who fulfills you is ideal.
Originally Posted by annabananalise

sexy people can be fulfilling, why can't sexy people be fulfilling? why is there sexy men hate going on, we're going backwards!!! Forward, say no to nice guys!
annabananalise likes this.
Damn can't hot people be good people also? or no.. all hot people are evil and crappy.
Originally Posted by murrrcat
Ummmm, hello? *points to self* I'm living proof this is NOT true.


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Byron,GA> Charleston, SC> Jacksonville, FL> Guilford, CT> Rohnert Park, CA! A southern drawl in sunny Cali! .
The amount of time from slipping on the peel and landing on the pavement is exactly one bananosecond.
I do have a secret yen for pink in unexpected places. ~ninja dog
I've decided that I'll never get down to my original weight, and I'm OK with that--After all, 8 pounds 2 oz. is just not realistic.
I mean, if I look like a cover of the SI swimsuit edition, can't I get my GQ husband? I mean shoot.

And okay maybe I'm not the cover, but I'm definitely a glossy advertisement insert.

It's only gonna work if the guy makes me wanna werque (if ya know what I'm sayin') and 5'8" and balding just ain't gonna cut it.

But yes, someone who fulfills you is ideal.
Originally Posted by annabananalise

sexy people can be fulfilling, why can't sexy people be fulfilling? why is there sexy men hate going on, we're going backwards!!! Forward, say no to nice guys!
Originally Posted by murrrcat
Truth. Idk how you're gonna fulfill me without being sexy. I feel like that's a minimum requirement for fulfillment, yeah?
Saria likes this.
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

I mean, if I look like a cover of the SI swimsuit edition, can't I get my GQ husband? I mean shoot.

And okay maybe I'm not the cover, but I'm definitely a glossy advertisement insert.

It's only gonna work if the guy makes me wanna werque (if ya know what I'm sayin') and 5'8" and balding just ain't gonna cut it.

But yes, someone who fulfills you is ideal.
Originally Posted by annabananalise
We can just agree to disagree. I don't think someone who fulfills you is "ideal". I think that's necessary for a happy long term relationship. It's ideal if that person is also sterotypically hot (meaning, cover of GQ hot), because then you have the added bonus of showing him off to your friends and neighbors. But really, if you're writing off all the non-GQ guys right off the bat, the MAN are you missing out. The guy should be attractive to you, not just plain attractive. Two totally different things, as has been mentioned regarding the thread on hot guys...everyone has different opinions!

You should never settle. But man I feel sorry for all the women out there who think they didn't settle, or worse, are still single and refusing to settle, and think anything less than GQ-hot is settling.
"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
Except you're completely missing the point that when she mentions GQ-worthy it's based on her perception. From what I remember, you believe there are people who are unarguably attractive, whereas most of us believe that it's based on individual perception. I believe in one thread you cited certain women as being attractive without question and they happened to be women that I don't think are much to look at. There is no set standard for attractive. Or at least, just because the media has set one doesn't mean people subscribe to it.
Nobody said anything about showing off to their friends. It's simply about someone you're attracted to. You can't force attraction, at least I know I can't.
And your statement about feeling sorry for women is just condescending.
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I mean, if I look like a cover of the SI swimsuit edition, can't I get my GQ husband? I mean shoot.

And okay maybe I'm not the cover, but I'm definitely a glossy advertisement insert.

It's only gonna work if the guy makes me wanna werque (if ya know what I'm sayin') and 5'8" and balding just ain't gonna cut it.

But yes, someone who fulfills you is ideal.
Originally Posted by annabananalise
We can just agree to disagree. I don't think someone who fulfills you is "ideal". I think that's necessary for a happy long term relationship. It's ideal if that person is also sterotypically hot (meaning, cover of GQ hot), because then you have the added bonus of showing him off to your friends and neighbors. But really, if you're writing off all the non-GQ guys right off the bat, the MAN are you missing out. The guy should be attractive to you, not just plain attractive. Two totally different things, as has been mentioned regarding the thread on hot guys...everyone has different opinions!

You should never settle. But man I feel sorry for all the women out there who think they didn't settle, or worse, are still single and refusing to settle, and think anything less than GQ-hot is settling.
Originally Posted by Who Me?
I just think one should be physically attracted to their SO. Like you gotta turn me on more than I turn myself on. (and we all know I dazzle myself).

I think settling is marrying a nice guy that you get along with that you (gy) can have a stable, comfortable (not just financially but emotionally) future with. Ya you (gy) may care for him, but that's not enough for me.

There are plenty of good men out there, but should I give them a chance just because they are Good Men? Idts. And I don't think I'm missing out either.

He's gotta make me wanna la la in the kitchen on the floor.
Saria likes this.
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?


Last edited by annabananalise; 02-20-2013 at 10:49 AM.
Also I'm interested in marrying someone I love. And falling in love involves a lot of things. One of them is attraction.

Idk I'm just a girl looking for that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of stuff.

(I'm sorry I'm really into quotes today.)
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?


He's gotta make me wanna la la in the kitchen on the floor.
Originally Posted by annabananalise

I'm so mad at you for this.
Omg Lily Allen's "Not Fair" just came on Pandora.

How.

Appropriate.
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

did any of you settle?
did any of you choose the nice guy who maybe didn't make your heart skip a beat, but he was kind and nice?
did any of you make the reasonable decision to marry vs the heart decision to marry and it worked?
does that kind of marriage work, where maybe passion isn't high on the list?

(no one wants to marry me, just wondering)
Originally Posted by frau
I hate the term "settling" because I think it's so often misused. I just posted this on another thread:

"It's not "settling" because the guy is only 5'8" and balding and didn't finish college, if he turns out to be the most wonderful man you've ever met and the best sex you've ever had and an amazing partner. It is "settling", however, if you are with the guy even though he doesn't make you feel amazing, even if he's 6'3", hot, and a millionaire."

People always use the term "settling" to refer to a guy being "not good enough" or "not as good as they could do". That's ********. A relationship/marriage isn't about who has the hottest husband, and who had to "settle least" because their husband is hotter and/or makes more money. The people who "settle" are those who accept a relationship with a man who doesn't fulfill them, just because they want a relationship. I think this often happens with shallow women who just want to snag a hot husband. They're the ones who settle. Not the happily married women who's husbands don't look like the cover of GQ.
Originally Posted by Who Me?
Some of this reads like it came straight out of the Nice Guy handbook.
Originally Posted by Saria
funny
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

The things that keep our marriage together and keep us happy include:

* We both communicate well and often - one of the things we base our marriage on is, "Say it. I can't read your mind!"

* We both are very slow to anger

* We are both laid back - Felix even more than me

* We make each other laugh

* We are both optimists

* We each put the other first. His needs come before mine for me, and my needs come before his for him.

* We totally have each others' backs and support each other no matter what. I'm on his side and he's on mine. We present a united and loving front to everyone.

* We see ourselves as a family, our own little family unit, together forever.

* And finally, my husband is just SO NICE. Everyone loves him because he is just the sweetest guy in the world, with a quick smile and good word for everyone. This makes my life so very, very easy.
Originally Posted by PartyHair
Ditto to all of this. This is how I feel about my hubby. We have had our ups and alot of downs the last couple of years and these are the things that helped us get through the downs. Money, careers and sex can change through the years.
Curl Type: 3B/C thick shoulder length brunette
Favorite Products: Elucence Moisture Balancing Conditioner, Biotera Styling Gel found @ Sally's, Trader Joe's Nourish, Shea Moisture Retention Shampoo
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember learning in psychology class that the new relationship, passionate, infatuation stage only lasts like 18 months. I don't think that's a good basis for a marriage. Having shared values and goals is more important for long-term happiness.
Amneris likes this.
Lol I just realized my dude is 5'8 and balding but u can't see it. It's thinning at the top more than mine. I didn't settle with looks though. I've never been too picky that way and he definitely meets my standards. Yes my panties get wet thinking about him at work or wherever. He turns me on like crazy!

Party hair your points are what I can relate to in my current relationship. Our communication is great(better than any other guy I've had) and we are both so laid back and selfless for each other. I love it.

Last edited by Josephine; 02-20-2013 at 12:14 PM.
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember learning in psychology class that the new relationship, passionate, infatuation stage only lasts like 18 months. I don't think that's a good basis for a marriage. Having shared values and goals is more important for long-term happiness.
Originally Posted by sarah42

This may sound like a stupid question but I'm totally serious: how do the lifers (marrieds LOL) have sex w/ their spouses after the passion dies down? I mean, do they still turn you on? What motivates you to want to have sex w/ them?

I've never had sex w/ anyone continuously for more than 2 years and yes, in those cases, there was still a lot of passion. At some point, this is supposed to wear off? For ~everyone~? (Say it aint so! ) Then what? How do you trick your body into making the necessary physiological responses that precede sex?

eta - yes, "physiological responses" means what Josephine said...
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 02-20-2013 at 03:20 PM.
Ha ha! Not a stupid question. We've been married for 11 years, and our sex life is very good. I think it's because we know each other really well and what each other likes. Plus we're comfortable about suggesting to try different things. Also, this may be shallow, but we've both kept in good shape, physically, and haven't "let ourselves go," so the attraction is definitely there.

ETA: to add on to what I posted earlier about infatuation. I'm not saying physical attraction doesn't matter. Just that it's not the only thing or even the most important thing to me--compatibility issues are.

Last edited by sarah42; 02-20-2013 at 12:32 PM.
Lol I just realized my dude is 5'8 and balding but u can't see it. It's thinning at the top more than mine. I didn't settle with looks though. I've never been too picky that way and he definitely meets my standards. Yes my panties get wet thinking about him at work or wherever. He turns me on like crazy!

Party hair your points are what I can relate to in my current relationship. Our communication is great(better than any other guy I've had) and we are both so laid back and selfless for each other. I love it.
Originally Posted by Josephine

pssssshhhhh don't be dissing your man! If he's a hottie to you that's what matters!
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Ha ha! Not a stupid question. We've been married for 11 years, and our sex life is very good. I think it's because we know each other really well and what each other likes. Plus we're comfortable about suggesting to try different things. Also, this may be shallow, but we've both kept in good shape, physically, and haven't "let ourselves go," so the attraction is definitely there.

ETA: to add on to what I posted earlier about infatuation. I'm not saying physical attraction doesn't matter. Just that it's not the only thing or even the most important thing to me--compatibility issues are.
Originally Posted by sarah42
So what has changed? Still sounds like the coals are pretty hot.

Sorry to be so nosey but it's something I worry about when I think about getting remarried. Bc once i stopped digging my exhusband, we stopped having sex and eventually, the marriage went down the drain.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Lol I just realized my dude is 5'8 and balding but u can't see it. It's thinning at the top more than mine. I didn't settle with looks though. I've never been too picky that way and he definitely meets my standards. Yes my panties get wet thinking about him at work or wherever. He turns me on like crazy!

Party hair your points are what I can relate to in my current relationship. Our communication is great(better than any other guy I've had) and we are both so laid back and selfless for each other. I love it.
Originally Posted by Josephine

pssssshhhhh don't be dissing your man! If he's a hottie to you that's what matters!
Originally Posted by murrrcat
I really don't see why 5'8" and balding is meant to mean undesirable/not ideal. I can't think of guys who can be described as such that I consider hot.
Amneris likes this.
18 years for us next month. We still find each other sexually attractive. I think staying kind and considerate to each other throughout the years helps keep attraction alive...it's hard to work up sexy feelings for a jerk, no matter what he looks like. The best foreplay these days is watching him wash dishes or push a vaccum...nothing sexier than a man who will clean for me.

Is my man the most attractive man in the world? No, of course not. But he is to me. As I am to him...or at least he makes me feel that way. There's a poster on this board who told me my husband is ugly and she's glad she didn't settle like that. Oh well. I'm happy...and she's alone...yet again.

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