Married People Please Tell Me....

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Lol I just realized my dude is 5'8 and balding but u can't see it. It's thinning at the top more than mine. I didn't settle with looks though. I've never been too picky that way and he definitely meets my standards. Yes my panties get wet thinking about him at work or wherever. He turns me on like crazy!

Party hair your points are what I can relate to in my current relationship. Our communication is great(better than any other guy I've had) and we are both so laid back and selfless for each other. I love it.
Originally Posted by Josephine

pssssshhhhh don't be dissing your man! If he's a hottie to you that's what matters!
Originally Posted by murrrcat
I really don't see why 5'8" and balding is meant to mean undesirable/not ideal. I can't think of guys who can be described as such that I consider hot.
Originally Posted by Saria
Dr. Freud, is that you? LOL
murrrcat likes this.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG



pssssshhhhh don't be dissing your man! If he's a hottie to you that's what matters!
Originally Posted by murrrcat
I really don't see why 5'8" and balding is meant to mean undesirable/not ideal. I can't think of guys who can be described as such that I consider hot.
Originally Posted by Saria
Dr. Freud, is that you? LOL
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
If by Dr. Freud you mean iPhone.
Lol I just realized my dude is 5'8 and balding but u can't see it. It's thinning at the top more than mine. I didn't settle with looks though. I've never been too picky that way and he definitely meets my standards. Yes my panties get wet thinking about him at work or wherever. He turns me on like crazy!

Party hair your points are what I can relate to in my current relationship. Our communication is great(better than any other guy I've had) and we are both so laid back and selfless for each other. I love it.
Originally Posted by Josephine

pssssshhhhh don't be dissing your man! If he's a hottie to you that's what matters!
Originally Posted by murrrcat
I really don't see why 5'8" and balding is meant to mean undesirable/not ideal. I can't think of guys who can be described as such that I consider hot.
Originally Posted by Saria
I guess it is for some.

Lol I wasn't dissing him but someone mentioned that exact line and I thought it was funny. I definitely did not find my bf all that hot physically at first. But I could tell there was something so I gave him my number and decided to hang out with him to see.
Speckla
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/\ 5'8", balding, and a bit pudgy describes my hubs. I lust after his body and long for his heart.


pssssshhhhh don't be dissing your man! If he's a hottie to you that's what matters!
Originally Posted by murrrcat
I really don't see why 5'8" and balding is meant to mean undesirable/not ideal. I can't think of guys who can be described as such that I consider hot.
Originally Posted by Saria
Dr. Freud, is that you? LOL
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000




sorry but this gif is toooooo funny. I'm going to start saying woof woof during my hysterical laughter.
Speckla
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Posts: n/a
I could see why a teenage or 20-30 year old would look to him as 'ew, an old man' because I did at that age. Not towards him but other 'older' men. We've grown emotionally and physically older together. Each person is going have their own ideal. I guess whatever stage he is at is my ideal man.
murrrcat likes this.
18 years for us next month. We still find each other sexually attractive. I think staying kind and considerate to each other throughout the years helps keep attraction alive...it's hard to work up sexy feelings for a jerk, no matter what he looks like. The best foreplay these days is watching him wash dishes or push a vaccum...nothing sexier than a man who will clean for me.

Is my man the most attractive man in the world? No, of course not. But he is to me. As I am to him...or at least he makes me feel that way. There's a poster on this board who told me my husband is ugly and she's glad she didn't settle like that. Oh well. I'm happy...and she's alone...yet again.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I remember that.
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I could see why a teenage or 20-30 year old would look to him as 'ew, an old man' because I did at that age. Not towards him but other 'older' men. We've grown emotionally and physically older together. Each person is going have their own ideal. I guess whatever stage he is at is my ideal man.
Originally Posted by Speckla


ummmm joe biden....that is all.
moodydove and annabananalise like this.
18 years for us next month. We still find each other sexually attractive. I think staying kind and considerate to each other throughout the years helps keep attraction alive...it's hard to work up sexy feelings for a jerk, no matter what he looks like. The best foreplay these days is watching him wash dishes or push a vaccum...nothing sexier than a man who will clean for me.

Is my man the most attractive man in the world? No, of course not. But he is to me. As I am to him...or at least he makes me feel that way. There's a poster on this board who told me my husband is ugly and she's glad she didn't settle like that. Oh well. I'm happy...and she's alone...yet again.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I remember that.
Originally Posted by redcelticcurls
Was this before my time? Yikes
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18 years for us next month. We still find each other sexually attractive. I think staying kind and considerate to each other throughout the years helps keep attraction alive...it's hard to work up sexy feelings for a jerk, no matter what he looks like. The best foreplay these days is watching him wash dishes or push a vaccum...nothing sexier than a man who will clean for me.

Is my man the most attractive man in the world? No, of course not. But he is to me. As I am to him...or at least he makes me feel that way. There's a poster on this board who told me my husband is ugly and she's glad she didn't settle like that. Oh well. I'm happy...and she's alone...yet again.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I remember that.
Originally Posted by redcelticcurls
Was this before my time? Yikes
Originally Posted by moodydove
I don't think so, maybe 1-2 years ago?
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Med/Coarse, porous curly.
So what has changed? Still sounds like the coals are pretty hot.

Sorry to be so nosey but it's something I worry about when I think about getting remarried. Bc once i stopped digging my exhusband, we stopped having sex and eventually, the marriage went down the drain.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
We're not in the spontaneous, can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other phase. I just feel like a new relationship has this butterflies-in-your-stomach, heady feeling where the other person is all you think about. We're in a more comfortable, content, low-key, but still with romantic feelings. Also, we've had some cold spells, like when kiddos were born and were young babies.
Amneris and spiderlashes5000 like this.
So what has changed? Still sounds like the coals are pretty hot.

Sorry to be so nosey but it's something I worry about when I think about getting remarried. Bc once i stopped digging my exhusband, we stopped having sex and eventually, the marriage went down the drain.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
We're not in the spontaneous, can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other phase. I just feel like a new relationship has this butterflies-in-your-stomach, heady feeling where the other person is all you think about. We're in a more comfortable, content, low-key, but still with romantic feelings. Also, we've had some cold spells, like when kiddos were born and were young babies.
Originally Posted by sarah42
Yup, married 11 years. The initial, totally crazy, drunk-in-lust, doing it multiple times a day wore off a long time ago. I am still attracted to my husband (and vice versa) and I would not say the passion died but it is a different kind of passion. Knowing each other really well (both sexually/physically) and emotionally helps. There may not be butterflies but trusting each other completely can be pretty hot. And like Sarah42, the trust and comfort means we can express our wants and needs and suggest and try different things.

It also means sometimes you settle for a quickie, or sometimes you do it even if you are not especially in the mood, because your partner is. And you enjoy it because you love them so much it makes you happy to see them get pleasure. And sometimes they do the same for you when you are not in the mood.

To be totally cheesy and cliche it's like the difference between what you get when you pour lighter fluid on your coals vs what you get when the coals have been burning for a while and turn to embers and have a nice glow going on. Sometimes you need to blow on them a little or wiggle the embers around a little bit, but they keep you nice and warm
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
So what has changed? Still sounds like the coals are pretty hot.

Sorry to be so nosey but it's something I worry about when I think about getting remarried. Bc once i stopped digging my exhusband, we stopped having sex and eventually, the marriage went down the drain.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
We're not in the spontaneous, can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other phase. I just feel like a new relationship has this butterflies-in-your-stomach, heady feeling where the other person is all you think about. We're in a more comfortable, content, low-key, but still with romantic feelings. Also, we've had some cold spells, like when kiddos were born and were young babies.
Originally Posted by sarah42
Yup, married 11 years. The initial, totally crazy, drunk-in-lust, doing it multiple times a day wore off a long time ago. I am still attracted to my husband (and vice versa) and I would not say the passion died but it is a different kind of passion. Knowing each other really well (both sexually/physically) and emotionally helps. There may not be butterflies but trusting each other completely can be pretty hot. And like Sarah42, the trust and comfort means we can express our wants and needs and suggest and try different things.

It also means sometimes you settle for a quickie, or sometimes you do it even if you are not especially in the mood, because your partner is. And you enjoy it because you love them so much it makes you happy to see them get pleasure. And sometimes they do the same for you when you are not in the mood.

To be totally cheesy and cliche it's like the difference between what you get when you pour lighter fluid on your coals vs what you get when the coals have been burning for a while and turn to embers and have a nice glow going on. Sometimes you need to blow on them a little or wiggle the embers around a little bit, but they keep you nice and warm
Originally Posted by geeky
And you lose your eyelashes and front of your hair the other way. LOL
geeky likes this.
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The occasional threesome does not hurt either.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
The occasional threesome does not hurt either.
Originally Posted by geeky
Get out!??
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

There are a lot of qualities that make relationships and marriages work. Of course compatibility, communication, honesty, sex, ect are all important but personally when it comes to just me and my hubby finances and everything else aside I think what makes our relationship so strong is the fact that we genuinely love spending time together. We are in a romantic relationship but we are also friends, when we spend time together we enjoy it, we laugh, we have fun and we just enjoy each others company so much we don't like being apart for any long length of time. We also look forward to seeing each other throughout the day and we always miss each other. We are very affectionate and loving and we keep the romance alive. Every other aspect of our relationship works because of the strong bond we have and how we work together.


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The occasional threesome does not hurt either.
Originally Posted by geeky
Get out!??
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

with 2 men??
The occasional threesome does not hurt either.
Originally Posted by geeky
Get out!??
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

with 2 men??
Originally Posted by murrrcat
That'd be the more fun type, IMO
murrrcat likes this.
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Med/Coarse, porous curly.
The occasional threesome does not hurt either.
Originally Posted by geeky
Get out!??
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

with 2 men??
Originally Posted by murrrcat
Not yet...
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
what have you found to be the most important characteristics in keeping your marriage happy?
i mean, when you selected your partner, what things did you see in your partner, that you chose, were the things that were vital in your marriage?

i mean, was it chemistry?
financial stability?
intelligence?
humor?
that you were alike?
that you were different?
that you got along well with their family?

what things have you found to be most important and what have you found to not really be important at all?
Originally Posted by frau
I think I have a pretty good marriage, and what I've found it to be is common values and goals. Most specifically, the goal of being married and having a family. I especially looked for someone with that goal who wanted the same things at the same time I did and did not have to be talked or tricked or pushed into it. This included common religious and cultural values and someone with an advanced level of education.

Now, I think the key to a good marriage, in addition to the above, is 2 things for me:
a) having access to mentors - other people with good marriages in similar circumstances to myself who can be a resource for keeping the joy in your marriage

b) really making an effort not to let the kids completely dominate the marriage - obviously, they are a huge priority, but without healthy, happy parents we can't really serve them as best as we can, so it is important to somehow find a way to take some adult time out for ourselves. I think I could do a lot better in this area still, but I guess we're doing well enough at the moment.

What is not important? Superficial stuff. I think my husband is a very attractive, loving guy but I know he's no Denzel, but that doesn't matter at all to me. I have to laugh when I see some of the single women on here and elsewhere talking about how they don't want ugly men and don't want to have to settle for someone ugly. A good-looking guy may not be so forever - I mean, if he's good looking inside and out AND has shared values and all the rest, no one is going to say that's bad, but I think a lot of people focus way too much on the physical to the exclusion of other things. A lot more than what you see in a photograph makes a man attractive.

I also think a person's background and family are important to an extent, but they don't tell the whole story. If I judged my husband by his parents, we probably wouldn't be together. However, his parents did provide him with the values I was looking for, despite the annoying personality things they do, and in the areas I felt they were deficient, my husband showed he was aware of that or had learned from that or wouldn't be bound or tied to it - he understood that our family would be the priority, and he has shown me that.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











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