Abort

ScrawnyCurly · 02-23-2013, 08:12 AM

.

Fifi.G · 02-23-2013, 10:21 AM

Many who you believe are friends will come and go. I think it might be time to let this one go.

My best friend and I have been side by side for 22 years. We are more like family. We tease each other non stop. That's how we are. It's mutual, and not meant to be rude or hateful (even though it may sound that way to others). Of course we have our moments when we get on each others nerves. It's going to happen. I might fuss about him, but I can also fuss to him. Never would I ignore him, only want to speak about my problems and not his in return, or make fun of things like his clothing, etc. That does not matter in the slightest and is rude and petty.

There is a large difference between a friend you can say anything to, and one who seems to spend more time putting you off and saying petty things about you.

ScrawnyCurly · 02-23-2013, 10:26 AM

Thank you.

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cympreni · 02-23-2013, 10:42 AM

Why would you want to save this relationship?

If someone who cares about you notices unintentional weight loss due to stress, the normal reaction is concern, not to laugh at you behind your back because your clothes don't fit. With friends like that, who needs enemies.

IME people who only want to talk when they have a problem are a dime a dozen, and they will suck you dry if you let them. They take take take, and give little or nothing in return.

Fifi.G · 02-23-2013, 10:42 AM

You are welcome, and sorry.

Fifi.G · 02-23-2013, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cympreni

Why would you want to save this relationship?

If someone who cares about you notices unintentional weight loss due to stress, the normal reaction is concern, not to laugh at you behind your back because your clothes don't fit. With friends like that, who needs enemies.

IME people who only want to talk when they have a problem are a dime a dozen, and they will suck you dry if you let them. They take take take, and give little or nothing in return.

Absolute truth.

sKorpio1190 · 02-23-2013, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cympreni

Why would you want to save this relationship?

If someone who cares about you notices unintentional weight loss due to stress, the normal reaction is concern, not to laugh at you behind your back because your clothes don't fit. With friends like that, who needs enemies.

IME people who only want to talk when they have a problem are a dime a dozen, and they will suck you dry if you let them. They take take take, and give little or nothing in return.

Yup. I've had "friends" like that. When they need u they're here and when u need support they can't be bothered -__- I recently stopped talking to someone I used to consider my best friend so I understand how u feel. Now she ignores me when I try to reach out all because she has a bf. smfh. And I don't have many friends to spare :-/

PerriP · 02-23-2013, 11:38 AM

Agree with all of the other posters. I will cut people out of my life entirely if they bring more drama/negativity/etc than they bring goodness to my life (to be clear, we all have bad times, but I mean as a way of being). I also push people back to a further place if I think the relationship is not reciprocal.

Different friends meet different needs in our lives, and sometimes they are no longer a good fit for us.

But, any friend, whatever layer they are in your life shouldn't be making fun of you.

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ScrawnyCurly · 02-23-2013, 12:49 PM

Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate your replies.

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Ericachristina · 02-23-2013, 01:35 PM

This happened to me quite recently as well. My best friend, a girl who I'd known since I was twelve and who was a bridesmaid at my wedding and a sister to me just lost contact. In her case she had broken up with a boyfriend and she use to come over all the time because she needed to talk and she was so down about it. So I helped her through it and she met another guy and then all of a sudden I didn't hear from her as often. I like to help people and I do it professionally so I don't mind helping my friends but I am also not the type to let myself be used and taken advantage of. You can't just keep in contact with your friends when you need them, it has to work both ways and even though I cared about her I also care about myself. I want reliable friends, good friends and she was no longer that. So I made a point of not contacting her and leaving the ball in her court to see what she would do. We went a year without talking and I basically went on with my life without her. Sometimes people aren't suppose to be in your life forever, they come and go and often times relationships and people change for whatever reason. If you are the only one making the effort then I don't consider the relationship worth it. It's hard to forget about a person if they were important to you but you need friends who are as good a friend to you as you are to them even if that means cutting them out of your life and coming to the realization of how much the friendship actually means to them.

I've had to cut friends out of my life for many reasons, some were so negative and selfish that I just decided I didn't need that in my life. I had friends who talked behind my back because I worked hard in school and became successful and married a very successful man...they actually came to my house and made comments about how we lived and how we didn't need as much as we have or such a big home ect....I don't need people in my life who are nice to my face and come to my house and speak negatively about me behind my back.

I choose friends wisely now and the ones I am close to are good friends, the ones who are no longer in the picture cease to matter to me.

ScrawnyCurly · 02-23-2013, 02:16 PM

I have friends I don't need but I can't just say "You're a negative and superficial idiot. I hate you. I don't want to be friends anymore". It seems mean.

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cympreni · 02-23-2013, 03:00 PM

you don't have to say that. I wouldn't do that unless they were toxic and wouldn't go away.

Sometimes it's best just to let things fade away. You stop putting in the effort and just move on.

sKorpio1190 · 02-23-2013, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cympreni

you don't have to say that. I wouldn't do that unless they were toxic and wouldn't go away.

Sometimes it's best just to let things fade away. You stop putting in the effort and just move on.

Agreed. And like Erica said, I left the ball in her court and well, we see how that turned out. I have up finally. She's not worth my time and effort. I'm the kind of person that takes loyalty and friendships very seriously. I will go to the ends of the earth for a friend in need. It's hard to find people like that these days

ScrawnyCurly · 02-23-2013, 06:08 PM

Thanks. I'll just " go with the flow ". I won't try anymore. It's really a waste.

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scrills · 02-23-2013, 06:19 PM

It might help if you write a letter (that you never send). That way, you can have some closure

ScrawnyCurly · 02-23-2013, 06:48 PM

I'll do that now. Thank you.

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sKorpio1190 · 02-23-2013, 07:35 PM

I hope u feel better soon

and meet real friends worth ur time