why do some people just want to argue?

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I find (not on this board) that alot of people on message boards just want to argue about everything. Everyone has opinions and there is no problem voicing your opinion but then let it go - we get it. Don't need to keep arguing. I find that people do this much more on the internet because they don't see the person face to face. MUCH more bullying going on over the internet
PW:curlyhaired

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But disagreeing is not bullying someone. I think too many people take a stance of "I'm being bullied" the moment someone writes out an explanation for why something is wrong. You also can't read tone a lot of times, and often what are perfectly calm, rational posts get interpreted as "attacking" someone.
There I go arguing with you.
1. Arguing isn't bullying

2. Just because you express an opinion doesn't mean others can't or shouldn't challenge it. Having our opinions challenged is how we grow and expand our worldview, or solidify why we feel our beliefs are right.

3. The Internet tends to bring together people who are more diverse than many people experience in day-to-day life, so you may encounter more opinions different from your own, which can lead to more challenging of those opinions as above.

4. Arguing can be fun at times. It's fine to argue if it is done respectfully.

5. Don't put things out on the internet if you aren't prepared to have them challenged or have people disagree.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











But disagreeing is not bullying someone. I think too many people take a stance of "I'm being bullied" the moment someone writes out an explanation for why something is wrong. You also can't read tone a lot of times, and often what are perfectly calm, rational posts get interpreted as "attacking" someone.
There I go arguing with you.
Originally Posted by Saria
I meant those as two separate things. I didn't mean to say opinions mean bullying. But what gets me is people who have to aruge about their opinion. We know the opinion and we get different opinons, why keep harping on it as of to change the other person's opinion.

I have been bullied on line and it wasn't about an opinion. It was just some girl who liked to bully about everything. She was calling me every name in the book and said she would come to my house yadda yadda.... I figured, ok... time to just ignore this waka-do.
PW:curlyhaired

Natural hair color - dark brunette
Fine, thinish hair/3a, 3b
1. Arguing isn't bullying

2. Just because you express an opinion doesn't mean others can't or shouldn't challenge it. Having our opinions challenged is how we grow and expand our worldview, or solidify why we feel our beliefs are right.

3. The Internet tends to bring together people who are more diverse than many people experience in day-to-day life, so you may encounter more opinions different from your own, which can lead to more challenging of those opinions as above.

4. Arguing can be fun at times. It's fine to argue if it is done respectfully.

5. Don't put things out on the internet if you aren't prepared to have them challenged or have people disagree.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Well I guess I see things differently. I don't see any point in arguing in an opinion. It's perfectly fine to get different opinions but then it can turn ugly real fast when people start to argue over it (whatever the subject is) and each person thinks the other one is wrong when there is NO wrong - it's just different. Does that make sense??
Personally, I don't see any fun in arguing.
PW:curlyhaired

Natural hair color - dark brunette
Fine, thinish hair/3a, 3b
There are different types of opinions.

Plato distinguished between opinion or common belief (doxa) and certain knowledge, and that’s still a workable distinction today: unlike “1+1=2” or “there are no square circles,” an opinion has a degree of subjectivity and uncertainty to it. But “opinion” ranges from tastes or preferences, through views about questions that concern most people such as prudence or politics, to views grounded in technical expertise, such as legal or scientific opinions.

You can’t really argue about the first kind of opinion. I’d be silly to insist that you’re wrong to think strawberry ice cream is better than chocolate. The problem is that sometimes we implicitly seem to take opinions of the second and even the third sort to be unarguable in the way questions of taste are. Perhaps that’s one reason (no doubt there are others) why enthusiastic amateurs think they’re entitled to disagree with climate scientists and immunologists and have their views “respected.”
Not to mention that many opinions are harmful, are dangerous. That's why people work to change them. It was the opinion of many people that black people were sub-human, that women simply didn't have the same "rational" mind as men, and these opinions were used to justify denial of basic human rights.
1. Arguing isn't bullying

2. Just because you express an opinion doesn't mean others can't or shouldn't challenge it. Having our opinions challenged is how we grow and expand our worldview, or solidify why we feel our beliefs are right.

3. The Internet tends to bring together people who are more diverse than many people experience in day-to-day life, so you may encounter more opinions different from your own, which can lead to more challenging of those opinions as above.

4. Arguing can be fun at times. It's fine to argue if it is done respectfully.

5. Don't put things out on the internet if you aren't prepared to have them challenged or have people disagree.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Well I guess I see things differently. I don't see any point in arguing in an opinion. It's perfectly fine to get different opinions but then it can turn ugly real fast when people start to argue over it (whatever the subject is) and each person thinks the other one is wrong when there is NO wrong - it's just different. Does that make sense??
Personally, I don't see any fun in arguing.
Originally Posted by Darby

Sometimes I really want to hear and understand the other side. Bc I maybe feel I must be missing/misunderstanding some part of their beliefs; I feel conflicted in my own beliefs; I want a reason to change my beliefs; or I want more reasons to retain my beliefs. Or maybe it's just a fascinating topic to me and I just want to hear it discussed by those better-informed than I am.

Sometimes the only way to really get ppl to talk is to probe and bait. Or to play devil's advocate.

Sometimes I, personally, don't mean to grill ppl so hard, but it just comes off that way.

Or sometimes, you like messing w/ ppl whose buttons are easily pushed or you really have an agenda you want to advance.

Lots of different reasons.

I am pretty opinionated and have generally given a lot of thought to the opinions I hold. But occasionally, through discussion (read: argument) my opinions have changed.

I think it's all good, also, as long as it's done respectfully.

But the short, snide, dismissive types of responses...or the aggressive, accusatory ones, IMO, are what make the debating/arguing unpleasant.

Right, there are no right or wrong opinions. But the logic and information that lead to their formation can definitely be faulty.
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Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 02-27-2013 at 11:08 AM.
1. Arguing isn't bullying

2. Just because you express an opinion doesn't mean others can't or shouldn't challenge it. Having our opinions challenged is how we grow and expand our worldview, or solidify why we feel our beliefs are right.

3. The Internet tends to bring together people who are more diverse than many people experience in day-to-day life, so you may encounter more opinions different from your own, which can lead to more challenging of those opinions as above.

4. Arguing can be fun at times. It's fine to argue if it is done respectfully.

5. Don't put things out on the internet if you aren't prepared to have them challenged or have people disagree.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Well I guess I see things differently. I don't see any point in arguing in an opinion. It's perfectly fine to get different opinions but then it can turn ugly real fast when people start to argue over it (whatever the subject is) and each person thinks the other one is wrong when there is NO wrong - it's just different. Does that make sense??
Personally, I don't see any fun in arguing.
Originally Posted by Darby
Sometimes heated discussions bring people to new understandings of another point of view. I've had that happen IRL and on here. Sometimes they help you clarify your own opinion but understand why others may be so against it, which may help you IRL.

Sometimes there are right and wrong opinions, too. Opinions that are hateful or discriminatory are clearly wrong. Opinions just snatched out of the air and not founded on any facts are wrong. These opinions need to be challenged so that others can see they are wrong and that that behaviour will not be tolerated. Sometimes the person with the opinion may not budge, but others around them might be swayed for the better.

Being someone's "opinion" doesn't make a comment sacred and beyond criticism.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











[QUOTE=Saria;2127610]
I’d be silly to insist that you’re wrong to think strawberry ice cream is better than chocolate. The problem is that sometimes we implicitly seem to take opinions of the second and even the third sort to be unarguable in the way questions of taste are. Perhaps that’s one reason (no doubt there are others) why enthusiastic amateurs think they’re entitled to disagree with climate scientists and immunologists and have their views “respected.”
Your quote here is the best thing I've read in a long time. I would say I agree with it, but I guess it's not really an agree/disagree situation topic, as it's rooted in expertise and truth.
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"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
I get that some people are conflict-avoiders and any disagreement or challenge makes them uncomfortable. But I don't get the people who provoke debate, or make the snarky or sarcastic or silly comments spidey mentioned, or go on the attack, but then when somebody questions them back off or accuse the other person of arguing.
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Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











I don't like that some people interpret any disagreement or challenge or discussion or debate as "arguing". Arguing has a negative connotation, at least to me. Not every discussion or disagreement or challenge or debate is an argument. I find that often people who are making the snarky or sarcastic comments or are going on the attack don't seem to understand that it's not an argument, it's a discussion/debate/challenge/disagreement. I also think that the ability to have a discussion/debate/challenge/disagreement and NOT an argument is a sign of maturity that is often sorely lacking.
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"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
I stay clear of the people who can't handle a "debate" then. When they start to really argue and name calling and calling you a dumb ass - that's when it gets really stupid, insulting and nasty. I had a "debate" going with my sister in law and it wasn't an arguement. But we have different tastes and opinions. One got so stupid it became kind of comical. I will cuss once in a while mostly at inate objects or someone who cuts me off on the road etc.... you know.. the normal. She totally objected to it and couldn't understand why I never cussed in front of her and called me phoney. I tried to tell her, "I'm not phoney but I guess nothing ever happened when you were around me to cuss." LOL!!!
"Would you like me to just start cussing in front of you for the hell of it?" I thought it was funny but she didn't. So on went the debate. She asked if our friends cussed and I said, "yes, alot of them do and our chiropracter who is a personal friend and does things outside the practice with my husband cusses alot outside the business practice." She thought that was so wrong and innapropriate that a professional would do that and she would NEVER go to someone like that. I told her, "he doesn't do it in the OFFICE!! How do you know what your Dr. or dentist does outside the work place??" It was so stupid and silly. She then proceeded to call us low lifes for hanging around people like that. LOL!!!!!
See.. it started to get ugly. The debate was gone and it went into an ugly argument. And at that, I ended it. But I guess it could have been an ok debate - cussing vs. non cussing.
PW:curlyhaired

Natural hair color - dark brunette
Fine, thinish hair/3a, 3b
i think when some people dont get their way things can get ugly. also we people are just bad at making arguments for their case, they go on teh offensive when people call them on it. on here as well as real life, i enjoy getting into debates. in high school, i couldnt join teh debate team because i already had too much going on, so once in a while i would sit in when they would practice. Once the team was telling me about a debate with a school where things did get ugly. the school they were debating against, just sucked. there argumetns pretty much was summed up as, "because i say so." when they lost they got angry and couldnt understand why. when the judges explained the they had no arguments besides, "because i say so", they became verbally abusive and begin to threaten people's lives! their teaches tried to calm them down, and had to drag them on the bus to go back to their school so they wouldnt be arrested.

debates get ugly when immature people attempt to argue with grow folks.
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The irony of this thread is funny to me

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curlyarca, B-wavy, Amneris and 7 others like this.
The irony of this thread is funny to me

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Originally Posted by scrills
Right? I was just about to say this.
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

Why?? Because it's turning into a debate?
PW:curlyhaired

Natural hair color - dark brunette
Fine, thinish hair/3a, 3b
[Witty Inception reference]

Marking my place in case I think of one lol
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Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

I stay clear of the people who can't handle a "debate" then. When they start to really argue and name calling and calling you a dumb ass - that's when it gets really stupid, insulting and nasty. I had a "debate" going with my sister in law and it wasn't an arguement. But we have different tastes and opinions. One got so stupid it became kind of comical. I will cuss once in a while mostly at inate objects or someone who cuts me off on the road etc.... you know.. the normal. She totally objected to it and couldn't understand why I never cussed in front of her and called me phoney. I tried to tell her, "I'm not phoney but I guess nothing ever happened when you were around me to cuss." LOL!!!
"Would you like me to just start cussing in front of you for the hell of it?" I thought it was funny but she didn't. So on went the debate. She asked if our friends cussed and I said, "yes, alot of them do and our chiropracter who is a personal friend and does things outside the practice with my husband cusses alot outside the business practice." She thought that was so wrong and innapropriate that a professional would do that and she would NEVER go to someone like that. I told her, "he doesn't do it in the OFFICE!! How do you know what your Dr. or dentist does outside the work place??" It was so stupid and silly. She then proceeded to call us low lifes for hanging around people like that. LOL!!!!!
See.. it started to get ugly. The debate was gone and it went into an ugly argument. And at that, I ended it. But I guess it could have been an ok debate - cussing vs. non cussing.
Originally Posted by Darby
Name calling and calling people dumbasses, phonies, low-lifes etc. is unacceptable whether it is an "argument" or not. I agree with Who Me? that "argument" is a word that tends to have negative connotations (because of what I do for a living, we use "argument" in a less negative way so that didn't strike me at first, but I agree that generally it is not used as a positive word) but discussions/debates/disagreements are often positive and reasonable things to have. What you're talking about is not any kind of reasonable conversation. This person does not know how to get her point across in an appropriate or respectful manner. That is your issue, not that someone has a different viewpoint from you or disagreed with your opinion.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











There are different types of opinions.

unlike “1+1=2” or
Originally Posted by Saria
Sorry but because my hubby told me to, I have to say, 1+1 only = 2 in our commonly used number system. In a mod 2 system, 1+1=0. (mod 2 means only 0 and 1 in the system, like a binomial system, I misunderstood him)

(back to your scheduled programming)

I do find this thread rather amusing in it's irony.
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Last edited by MojoDojo; 02-27-2013 at 09:36 PM. Reason: Apparently I can't understand my husband's fancy math.
Sometimes it just feels good to argue with someone, even if it's over something stupid. We have a lot of smart asses here on NC who consider themselves intelligent and above all other, unfortunately.

Other than that, I'm happy to say that I've met some lovely ladies here on NC and even developed some friendships. I'm sure everybody here is lovely when they're not being snarky, Some women just permanently have that stick up their you know what and they bring that here,
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