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Old 02-27-2013, 05:11 PM   #1
 
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Default I haven't wanted to talk about this because...

... I DO know weird people and it's all my fault that I know them because I'll be friends with anyone who's nice. Having said that :: deep breath ::

So Anabelle has a pug friend Miles. Miles is mom is slightly (slightly?) kooky. She says she has a "blood pathogen" that she got from a bite but she's never seen an actual doctor and is now taking herbs from a doctor she found (not making this up) in Nigeria. She talks to him on the phone twice a week and he sends her bottles of pre-made herbs.

Anyway, Monday night I texted her and asked if Anabelle and Miles could have a play date and she said yes. We went over and her other friend was there and the doggies played.

Then she decided to lay down on her BIOMAT. And she was laying on her back with her feet flat so that her knees were at an angle and Miles went over and started humping her leg. I said, "Miles, you bad boy, get down!" But in a nice voice.
She said, "Watch this." And she extended her leg and the dog climbed on and was GOING. TO. TOWN. She basically held her leg out while he growled and moaned and he was fully engorged rubbing his pee pee on her leg.

I was like, "Ah! No! Ah! Ewww!" And she let him go at it for a good two minutes and then he got off. I must have looked horrified because she said, "It's really just a bonding."

It was an awful experience. I high-tailed it out of there and I so don't want to run into her again. Worse, I can't stop thinking about it. Blech.
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:14 PM   #2
 
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Ewwwww. I would be skeeved out too. And now in my head I wonder what is going on when you are not there. Ewewewew!!!

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Old 02-27-2013, 05:18 PM   #3
 
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I am mortified by this story so I know you have to be scarred for life. That's... I... No!
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:19 PM   #4
 
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Quote:
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I am mortified by this story so I know you have to be scarred for life. That's... I... No!

Me either, I couldn't even post the amount of EWs
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:23 PM   #5
 
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I know!!! I feel like this:

ace ventura - einhorn is a man - YouTube

And this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KyBdPeKHg
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:28 PM   #6
 
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Yes, of course, it's all EWW! But I'm more creeped out by the "bonding" comment. WTF does that even mean? If she had just said she found it funny, well, it's still gross, but if I squint and tilt my head a certain way that might make some kind of sense. But "bonding?" What?

And I would totally expect someone who consults a "doctor" she found in Nigeria and buys a BIOMAT to talk about "bonding."
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:33 PM   #7
 
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Ohhhh, I really wish I wouldn't have read that.
The whole "watch this" which means it happens other times.
Bonding. Errrrrr. No.
Gross.
Ewwww.
Ugh.
Nightmares.
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:37 PM   #8
 
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Your first line cracked me up. We are so similar.
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:38 PM   #9
 
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I'm still laughing about the "biomat".

When a dog humps your leg, it's not "bonding"...it's dominance. Or, maybe in her case, it's inappropriate sexuality.

You really might be better off without this friend.
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:41 PM   #10
 
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Ummm...

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Old 02-27-2013, 05:47 PM   #11
 
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In my defense I did not know she was so psycho right off the bat. Her having Lyme disease and a blood pathogen sounded somewhat reasonable. But in the couple years I've gotten to know her she's let me more in on how the white lines coming out of planes are "chem trails" and how "they" (I have no idea who "they" are) are deliberately spraying poison on us when those chem trails appear.
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:48 PM   #12
 
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Hmmmm
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:49 PM   #13
 
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Anyone who buys a $1500 heating pad is bound to be a little nuts.
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Old 02-27-2013, 05:58 PM   #14
 
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You win.
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:25 PM   #15
 
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But.....but.....aren't Anabelle and Miles best friends? How will they have play dates?
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:55 PM   #16
 
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But.....but.....aren't Anabelle and Miles best friends? How will they have play dates?
In public places only? But Miles' mommy would have to be there too. Oh lord.

She is twisted. Perverse. You don't bond with your pet that way. You don't. Just don't. NO.

OMG - avoid her like the plague. Find AB a new best friend quick!!!
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Old 02-27-2013, 06:56 PM   #17
 
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Is she the mutualneighborfriend with the orange bucket lady?

Wow, you have crazy neighbours.
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:10 PM   #18
 
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I've been on this board a VERY long time, and this may just be the strangest thing I have ever read.
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:17 PM   #19
 
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Now, I don't want to take the animal molestation story away from you, but -


I look over at my (ex) friend, and she's sitting on my couch, watching tv, nonchalantly stroking my cats little kitty testicles. I think my exact words were 'are you playing with my cats balls?!!' -she says 'don't you think it feels good to him?' ... ?

This was over ten years ago and it still haunts me. I never thought of her the same. Freak. We didn't stay friends long. And I didn't allow her near my pets.
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:19 PM   #20
 
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no no no no no no no no no more stories!

I'M NOT LISTENING. LALAALALALAL
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