What is your identity? With which group(s) do you identify?

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^^^It's OK...I was thinking more in terms of already existing groups. "Caring people" isn't a group.
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^^ I agree, which is why white males don't need to identify as such because no one ever refers to them as part of a group. They're just individuals.

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Originally Posted by annabananalise
Yes and they don't get why we need a women's group or why there's a black beauty pageant, pride parade, etc(I had a white gay coworker complain about why 'they' need their own pride weekend)
^^ I agree, which is why white males don't need to identify as such because no one ever refers to them as part of a group. They're just individuals.

Must be nice.
Originally Posted by annabananalise
Yes and they don't get why we need a women's group or why there's a black beauty pageant, pride parade, etc(I had a white gay coworker complain about why 'they' need their own pride weekend)
Originally Posted by Josephine
He thinks the world needs a white gay pride parade? For only white gay people? What is the difference between a white gay person and a non-white gay person?

Or did I mis-read that?

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Heterosexual women will identify as wives/mothers though, and many of us did (or girlfriend.) Of course, homosexual women can be all those things too, but I know for me as a heterosexual woman, the act of conceiving, carrying, bearing my children and raising them with my husband is very much a part of my sexuality and my identity.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Soo...I definitely understand identifying yourself as a mother but I don't understand the wife part. Is it really all that different?? I would never identify myself as being a gf, even when I was in a really long relationship.
Originally Posted by Josephine
Interesting. On the one hand, your spousal relationship is supposed to be your most important relationship (at least in my world view). So I can see wanting to honor that relationship by including that relationship as part of your identity.

But it's not like I felt any special kinship or bond w/ other "wives" (when I was married) or that I felt I was losing membership in a group when I stopped being married. And it's not like I took on a new set of attributes when I became a wife. I was still essentially the same person, as a person.

I guess marriage or "partnership" or whatever relates to a very siginificant relationship that we would want to honor. But IDK that it changed me so deeply that it's one of the top things I identify with.

I mean, if I am dating Bob for a year and then we break up...has my identity radically changed? Then I am alone and I start dating Mike, am I changed as a human being again. Say I date Mike for 10 years, and then one day decide to marry him...have I changed who I am again? Then we get separated but still have sex and go to the movies occasionally, am I someone else? Personally, I think not.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Me neither. Sure I might enjoy different activities and happily center my life around a guy but I'd never identify myself as a gf/wife.
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Soo...I definitely understand identifying yourself as a mother but I don't understand the wife part. Is it really all that different?? I would never identify myself as being a gf, even when I was in a really long relationship.
Originally Posted by Josephine
Interesting. On the one hand, your spousal relationship is supposed to be your most important relationship (at least in my world view). So I can see wanting to honor that relationship by including that relationship as part of your identity.

But it's not like I felt any special kinship or bond w/ other "wives" (when I was married) or that I felt I was losing membership in a group when I stopped being married. And it's not like I took on a new set of attributes when I became a wife. I was still essentially the same person, as a person.

I guess marriage or "partnership" or whatever relates to a very siginificant relationship that we would want to honor. But IDK that it changed me so deeply that it's one of the top things I identify with.

I mean, if I am dating Bob for a year and then we break up...has my identity radically changed? Then I am alone and I start dating Mike, am I changed as a human being again. Say I date Mike for 10 years, and then one day decide to marry him...have I changed who I am again? Then we get separated but still have sex and go to the movies occasionally, am I someone else? Personally, I think not.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Me neither. Sure I might enjoy different activities and happily center my life around a guy but I'd never identify myself as a gf/wife.
Originally Posted by Josephine
I never really did it, because being a family is important to me more so than simply being married, but I know lots of women with no kids who are married and strongly identify as "wives" and want to be around other married women or couples who are like them. A lot of churches encourage this thinking. I think for some it is a core part of their identity and how they see the world. I can think of three of my closest friends who are like that. One of them watches her wedding video with her husband at least once a week two years after the wedding, is constantly posting on facebook about what it's like to be married, etc.
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Interesting. On the one hand, your spousal relationship is supposed to be your most important relationship (at least in my world view). So I can see wanting to honor that relationship by including that relationship as part of your identity.

But it's not like I felt any special kinship or bond w/ other "wives" (when I was married) or that I felt I was losing membership in a group when I stopped being married. And it's not like I took on a new set of attributes when I became a wife. I was still essentially the same person, as a person.

I guess marriage or "partnership" or whatever relates to a very siginificant relationship that we would want to honor. But IDK that it changed me so deeply that it's one of the top things I identify with.

I mean, if I am dating Bob for a year and then we break up...has my identity radically changed? Then I am alone and I start dating Mike, am I changed as a human being again. Say I date Mike for 10 years, and then one day decide to marry him...have I changed who I am again? Then we get separated but still have sex and go to the movies occasionally, am I someone else? Personally, I think not.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Me neither. Sure I might enjoy different activities and happily center my life around a guy but I'd never identify myself as a gf/wife.
Originally Posted by Josephine
I never really did it, because being a family is important to me more so than simply being married, but I know lots of women with no kids who are married and strongly identify as "wives" and want to be around other married women or couples who are like them. A lot of churches encourage this thinking. I think for some it is a core part of their identity and how they see the world. I can think of three of my closest friends who are like that. One of them watches her wedding video with her husband at least once a week two years after the wedding, is constantly posting on facebook about what it's like to be married, etc.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Okay yea I know someone like that. She only like to hang out with her friends that had bfs or were married. It was kind of odd because it was so obvious. She also sent all of us a long one page email about how she met her husband and how he proposed to her..we were all friends and knew the story so it was very weird. It was like an article that she wanted to publish lol. Not saying that everyone who identifies themselves as such is like that but I can't understand it. I wonder if men would ever identify themselves that way (happily, I know complainers definitely do - the ones that wish they were single)

Me neither. Sure I might enjoy different activities and happily center my life around a guy but I'd never identify myself as a gf/wife.
Originally Posted by Josephine
I never really did it, because being a family is important to me more so than simply being married, but I know lots of women with no kids who are married and strongly identify as "wives" and want to be around other married women or couples who are like them. A lot of churches encourage this thinking. I think for some it is a core part of their identity and how they see the world. I can think of three of my closest friends who are like that. One of them watches her wedding video with her husband at least once a week two years after the wedding, is constantly posting on facebook about what it's like to be married, etc.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Okay yea I know someone like that. She only like to hang out with her friends that had bfs or were married. It was kind of odd because it was so obvious. She also sent all of us a long one page email about how she met her husband and how he proposed to her..we were all friends and knew the story so it was very weird. It was like an article that she wanted to publish lol. Not saying that everyone who identifies themselves as such is like that but I can't understand it. I wonder if men would ever identify themselves that way (happily, I know complainers definitely do - the ones that wish they were single)
Originally Posted by Josephine
I don't know anyone like that! LOL
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I never really did it, because being a family is important to me more so than simply being married, but I know lots of women with no kids who are married and strongly identify as "wives" and want to be around other married women or couples who are like them. A lot of churches encourage this thinking. I think for some it is a core part of their identity and how they see the world. I can think of three of my closest friends who are like that. One of them watches her wedding video with her husband at least once a week two years after the wedding, is constantly posting on facebook about what it's like to be married, etc.
Originally Posted by Amneris
Okay yea I know someone like that. She only like to hang out with her friends that had bfs or were married. It was kind of odd because it was so obvious. She also sent all of us a long one page email about how she met her husband and how he proposed to her..we were all friends and knew the story so it was very weird. It was like an article that she wanted to publish lol. Not saying that everyone who identifies themselves as such is like that but I can't understand it. I wonder if men would ever identify themselves that way (happily, I know complainers definitely do - the ones that wish they were single)
Originally Posted by Josephine
I don't know anyone like that! LOL
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Me either! That just sounds so bizarre to me.
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^^^It's OK...I was thinking more in terms of already existing groups. "Caring people" isn't a group.
Originally Posted by The New Black
Well I actually answered superficially and deeply.. Not sure what else else their is. LoL!

To recap.

Superficially. African American/Native American Woman

Deeply: Basically. Guardian of the world.
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Okay yea I know someone like that. She only like to hang out with her friends that had bfs or were married. It was kind of odd because it was so obvious. She also sent all of us a long one page email about how she met her husband and how he proposed to her..we were all friends and knew the story so it was very weird. It was like an article that she wanted to publish lol. Not saying that everyone who identifies themselves as such is like that but I can't understand it. I wonder if men would ever identify themselves that way (happily, I know complainers definitely do - the ones that wish they were single)
Originally Posted by Josephine
I don't know anyone like that! LOL
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Me either! That just sounds so bizarre to me.
Originally Posted by moodydove
She's very bizarre. She seemed to hate and avoid me when I was dating my ex. As soon as she got married(which was about 6 months after meeting the guy) she preferred to hang out with me and my ex over our other single friends. I want to find that email and almost want to post it but that would be mean..
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