Another teenage girl lost to rape culture.

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We need to make a practice of treating each other with kindness ad respect. (And modeling it for our children.)

There are all types of bullying. Often it's men on women. sometimes it's women on women. Sometimes it's sexual. Sometimes it's not.

Stop being bullies. And teach your kids the same.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Boys on boys, too. Everybody!! And has to be much easier to do when they are not face to face with someone, or hearing their voice.

Ugh! It is such a sad story, and unfortunately one of many.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

oh, yeah.... NOW they're going to re-open the investigation....

N.S. officials to review alleged assault of teen who committed suicide | CTV News

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Ultimately, if it's to be stopped, women are going to have to break the rape culture ourselves, because our paternalistic society isn't going to do it for us. We can't continue to call each other sl*ts and wh*res. We can't judge each other based on sex and sexuality. By doing so, we are participating in our own oppression. We need to teach our daughters to stop doing this. We need to teach them to embrace feminism, even if the term has been demonized by the hate-media-industry. Let's change the term, call it pro-femininity or pro-woman or whatever, but we need to stop accepting this culture of rape.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I totally agree, esp with the bolded. We also need to teach sons to be feminists and teach people that's it's not a bad word. Hard to do with grown adults since the term is so tainted.

Even Marissa Mayer (ceo of yahoo) has issues, I was so pissed off when I read this -

"I donít think that I would consider myself a feminist. I think that, I certainly believe in equal rights. I believe that women are just as capable, if not more so, in a lot of different dimensions. But I donít, I think, have sort of the militant drive and sort of the chip on the shoulder that sometimes comes with that. And I think itís too bad, but I do think feminism has become, in many ways, a more negative word. There are amazing opportunities all over the world for women, and I think that thereís more good that comes out of positive energy around that than negative energy."

Read more: Marissa Mayer Criticizes Feminism - Business Insider
Ultimately, if it's to be stopped, women are going to have to break the rape culture ourselves, because our paternalistic society isn't going to do it for us. We can't continue to call each other sl*ts and wh*res. We can't judge each other based on sex and sexuality. By doing so, we are participating in our own oppression. We need to teach our daughters to stop doing this. We need to teach them to embrace feminism, even if the term has been demonized by the hate-media-industry. Let's change the term, call it pro-femininity or pro-woman or whatever, but we need to stop accepting this culture of rape.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I totally agree, esp with the bolded. We also need to teach sons to be feminists and teach people that's it's not a bad word. Hard to do with grown adults since the term is so tainted.

Even Marissa Mayer (ceo of yahoo) has issues, I was so pissed off when I read this -

"I donít think that I would consider myself a feminist. I think that, I certainly believe in equal rights. I believe that women are just as capable, if not more so, in a lot of different dimensions. But I donít, I think, have sort of the militant drive and sort of the chip on the shoulder that sometimes comes with that. And I think itís too bad, but I do think feminism has become, in many ways, a more negative word. There are amazing opportunities all over the world for women, and I think that thereís more good that comes out of positive energy around that than negative energy."

Read more: Marissa Mayer Criticizes Feminism - Business Insider
Originally Posted by Josephine


WTH? Feminism isn't negative or militant. There may have been negative or militant techniques used to obtain rights, especially in the early days, but this Marissa Mayer appears to be listening to Rush Limbaugh, et al, too much and buying into their anti-woman rhetoric. I don't understand the attitude towards feminism. The definition of the word just means "for women". If you're for women having equal opportunities and rights then, congratulations, you're a feminist. She is where she is because of feminism. I hate that she is turning her back on it...probably for the almighty dollar...
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I live in Halifax. I wish things like this didn't happen here, and I wish so much more was done to help this girl.

The following is a blog post that, although not written by me, sums up a lot of what I've been thinking about this.

Rehtaeh Parsons | The Belle Jar
"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it" ~ Bill Cosby
oh, yeah.... NOW they're going to re-open the investigation....

N.S. officials to review alleged assault of teen who committed suicide | CTV News

Originally Posted by rouquinne
I agreed with several comments in the link. In part, if not fully.

**At 64, I still struggle from a "date rape" by one individual, over 30 years ago. I've never married, never had children and forget trust. I knew 30 years ago that "date rape" was something "unbelievable". I thought this was a progressive society - guess I was wrong.**

^ I was thinking about that myself. I can remember seeing stories on the news about the way date rape investigations were handled, when it was really coming into public light. It was more about the way law enforcement/justice system looked over things or placed blame due to what the woman was wearing, or if she was drunk. That kept so many women quiet about their own rape. It still does. There was always a fear of being blamed, or some feeling they deserved it, or ... I can not imagine having a school full of people do it as well, and also snap & share pictures of a horrible life altering moment. Way to slam it in reverse, rather than attempt further progression.


**A few weeks ago in a Northern Ontario community, a video was taking of a intoxicated youth in a fast food restaurant being poked and mocked by other youths. There was a social media witch hunt for any involved and witnesses to the "bullying" situation. Within the week, after hundreds of media comments the involved assailant was arrested and in a local court, charged. Yet this matter involving a young women can slip through the justice system as "probable cause." It's disgusting to think this isn't the first time this has happened or the last. The law is in place to protect people, if we keep allowing citizens to share and make negetive comments that are unlawful and let them get away with it, it will only continue to get worse by desensitizing people to accountability. Enough is enough, I'm sure if this was a police officer or judges daughter from that community, those involved would not be walking. Makes you wonder who the assailants family is, or maybe they were star hockey or football players. May she rest in peace.**

Interesting point. Okay, no, making negative comments is not illegal but something has to be done to bring accountability into light in situations like this.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

It seems like everyone around her failed her: The rapists - of course, her classmates, the school and the "justice" system. So disheartening. I can see why she thought death was the only out... smh

What kind of human being treats rape like a spectator sport? Disgusting.
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It seems like everyone around her failed her: The rapists - of course, her classmates, the school and the "justice" system. So disheartening. I can see why she thought death was the only out... smh

What kind of human being treats rape like a spectator sport? Disgusting.
Originally Posted by The New Black
I know, right? But my heart really goes out to the parents...they even moved to a new community so she could get a fresh start. Not all parents would do that! And even still, they couldn't protect her.
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For a moment I stopped to wonder where the hell school officials were, or what they were doing, but then I had to remind myself that I had no idea where most of them were when I was in school. *Trying to run off people who wore black, because they were clearly devil worshipers :-/ was a common answer to that question* I am sure they have a great deal to handle but some stories are just pathetic.

Like the one I mentioned earlier with the girl who was bullied relentlessly at her school. Her parents moved her to a different one, only to find her attackers at her previous school had contacted acquaintances at the new one. She walked into a horrible situation. How do students put up banners and posters mocking someone and get away with it?

How do you take and circulate pics of a (possible) gang rape and get away with it?

It's effed up.
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When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 04-10-2013 at 04:03 PM.
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I hope the public push brings a more thorough and serious investigation. The boys have not been convicted yet, and I know no details other than the pictures and resulting shame and bullying. That's not saying I doubt it. That's just my liability jargon kicking in. I would like to hear what supposedly made it so clear cut/not a rape case.

Regardless... she was failed numerous times, in numerous ways, by many people.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

{{{RCW}}}
Originally Posted by curlypearl


Thank you, CP. I'm fine though. I'm alive, and my perpetrator is dead. I wish the same could be said of the poor girl from Halifax.
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Okay, I need to get something off my chest. It's not for hugs or sympathy. I'm alright. It's just time.

17 years ago I was sexually assaulted by a guy I was dating for a few months when I tried to end things. I didn't have that spark or connection with him, and needed to tell him. I went to his apartment that night with one of my girlfriends. Her boyfriend and the guy I was seeing lived together at that time. I sat around in the living room for a little while, had a few drinks, gathered my thoughts, and asked him if we could talk. We went into his room, I said what I needed to say in the nicest way possible, he did not say a word, smiled, and the last thing I saw was his head coming toward mine. I woke up in the morning, had no clothes on, a huge not on my head, and was in a great deal of pain. It was more than obvious what had happened to me. He was no where around. He had gotten up and left for work as usual. Shock does not even begin to describe what I felt. He was nothing but nice when we dated. He never showed aggression or even raised his voice at me. Not once. I could not believe it. I was numb, and I stayed that way. All I could think of was ways someone could twist it into being my fault, and how my father would spend the rest of his life in prison if he found out. I had no doubt about that. I did manage to tell my friend about it, after I woke her up. She assumed we had worked things out that night. She also did not believe me, even while looking directly at the knot on my head and seeing the blood. She thought I maybe fell, hit my head, and just remembered it wrong. It couldn't be true. He was so nice. Which, he *was*. I knew I was not going to report it before I spoke with her, and was absolutely positive I could never report it after. I only told one other person. My first love. He lived close by and I walked to his house, and stayed there a couple days. I couldn't go home. He believed me, 100%, but he really couldn't talk about it. He had no idea what to say or do. He got up and left for a few hours. I never brought it up again, and the guy who assaulted me moved across the U.S a week later. I am pretty sure my first love had something to do with that. Last year the slime sent me 2 friend requests on FB. I blocked him, he changed his profile name and tried again. That took some nerve.

The only thing that kept me from snapping was the fact that I can't remember "it", the actual assault. I have no recollection of it, and I am thankful for that. I know what it feels like to have a friend not believe it, even with ample evidence in her face, and to feel like I can not talk about it. The act itself is beyond wrong. We all know that. I just hope that people (these kids) realize how much damage they do by placing blame, shunning, and attacking someone for coming forward. That I can not even begin to understand. Yes, some people out there do make stuff up. I am very well aware of that (happened to one of my friends and was handled appropriately) but many more do not. I could list several women I personally know who were victims of rape and never came forward because they were worried about someone blaming them, they were blaming themselves, or (like me) they were horrified about what might happen if they told their family. Situations like this are making it that much harder, and now people are making effing scrap books about it. I hope they stop to think... What if it happened to me, my friend, my sister, my future daughter? Did it happen to my mom? (Chances are high that it did, minus the photo documentation.) People have worked long and hard to get women more comfortable with speaking up and coming forward. Many have dedicated all their time to it, and every story like this continues to further unravel the work/building of confidence that has been done so far. It does nothing but force others further into shame and silence, and it disgusts me.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

I'm sorry that happened to you, Fifi. I know how that feels too...to wake up and know that you've been assaulted, but completely unable to do anything about it. So many women have these stories...too many...
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When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 04-10-2013 at 08:16 PM.
I'm sorry that happened to you, Fifi. I know how that feels too...to wake up and know that you've been assaulted, but completely unable to do anything about it. So many women have these stories...too many...
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
Thanks RCW. At least I survived it.

You are right, it's way too many. I work with some female officers who speak to groups of women. They do the exercise asking women to raise their hand if the have ever been sexually assaulted, and never reported it (with no fear or worry of having to report it now). It's over half the room, every single time.
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When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

And I am sorry to you too.

Forgive the posts. My app has gone batty.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

One last thing and I will be done. I am a bit exhausted now anyway.

Women do amaze me. Many have been in some messed up situations, and managed to keep going. I hate hearing stories about these young girls who have not been able to.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

One last thing and I will be done. I am a bit exhausted now anyway.

Women do amaze me. Many have been in some messed up situations, and managed to keep going. I hate hearing stories about these young girls who have not been able to.
Originally Posted by Fifi.G

Claudine's comment at the top of the thread sums it all up for me: Read it and weep.
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