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Old 04-12-2013, 07:03 AM   #81
 
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((HUGS)) to you all.

The craziest thing is that I'm sure I was drugged by the bar manager. He was friends with the person I was lunching with. There were so many knowing glances that were shared between them before things really got hazy. I was also very young and they were much older. In hindsight, it seemed like a setup.
Curious, did you see the bartender making the drink? I'm assuming maybe not if you were ordering from a table. I hate ordering drinks anywhere other than the bar. I always like to watch the bartender make my drinks. As careful as I am, sometimes I wonder if the bartender is on something too.
No, I was ordering from a table. I was 18 years old, and not really as aware as I am now (more so because of that situation). I always watch now. I even walked up to the bar and asked for a new drink once when some guy bought one for me. I insisted that he put something in my drink. Maybe that was also paranoia, but it kept me safe.
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Old 04-12-2013, 09:22 AM   #82
 
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i'm SO outraged right now! a woman was just on our major Canadian morning tv talk show basically saying that TEENAGERS really don't understand right from wrong because their brains are still developing until they're 25!



um.... i'm pretty sure that i had a fairly well-developed sense of how a decent human being behaves by the time i went to junior high school.

why are people seeking to absolve this behaviour????

BS!!! When I tried to off my parents i knew that ish was wrong!!! I just wanted something they denied me. If at 24 you dont know right from wrong, why the hell are they locking up peole under age 25?? Lady GTFO with that BS!! they know they just dont care.
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Old 04-12-2013, 09:59 AM   #83
 
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Girl, 15, hangs herself after photos of alleged sexual assault posted online; 3 U.S. teens charged | Toronto Star
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Old 04-12-2013, 10:07 AM   #84
 
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If they don't know that rape, circulating photos of rape for fun, and humiliating/bullying a person out of school is wrong between the ages of 14-18... Something is horribly wrong. There is no hope for the fu**ing future.
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Old 04-12-2013, 10:08 AM   #85
 
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I saw that too...^^^ WTH is wrong with teen boys? What makes them think rape is OK? Don't their fathers have talks with them about these things? THEN they're taking pictures. AND they're circulating them. ugh...
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Old 04-12-2013, 10:23 AM   #86
 
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I saw that too...^^^ WTH is wrong with teen boys? What makes them think rape is OK? Don't their father have talks with them about these things? THEN they're taking pictures. AND they're circulating them. ugh...
No, their fathers DEFINITELY AREN'T talking to them about these things. Not when we are longer even women deserving of respect, but female dogs, who coincidentally seem to get better respect.
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Old 04-12-2013, 11:22 AM   #87
 
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I don't think a lot of parents talk to a lot of their children about things. Boys and girls. I don't know if people are too busy, or they want to avoid an awkward conversation, but I feel like (some) people aren't communicating with their children.

These stories are just so sad.
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Old 04-12-2013, 12:56 PM   #88
 
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i was talking to my dad about these rapes that have been occuring with girls at parties passing out. As a teen he use to throw wild parties where people would get drunk and high and pass out all over the place. I wanted to know if anything like these situation ever happened. He told me never! Girls would pass out and they would be stepped over. No one to his knowledge would think to rape a passed out girl. He doesnt know why the hell those little boys would think to do that. My dad's initial reaction was dad's arent talking to their sons. But i asked my dad, "Did poppop ever talk to you about this?" my dad said, "no, pop just told me if i ever hit a girl i'm going to have to deal with him. The idea of me raping anyone never came up." And you know what? My parents never talked to me about the possibility of being raped at a friends house. In fact they told me i would be safer drinking at a friend's house because you can trust your friends. I have passed out drunk at friends homes and nothing as ever happen. i have had friends pass house and nothing has ever happened. i dont understand why things are changing. I know teens shouldnt be drinking, but they do and they will. My parents knew this so they jsut told me how to be safe, "Always drink in a safe place with people you trust." I trusted my friends. I felt safe with my friends. If i had a child I would have sadi the same thing to her. but these girls made teh horrible mistake in trusting their friends. They thought they could be rebelous teen adn have fun and be safe becasue they were with their "friends." i'm not saying the friends are to be blamed, but where were they when things were going down? And what kind of peoplestands around and take pictures of someone being raped? What is wrong with these people? Is there something in the water that is making people behave this way? its like they dont care about anything or anyone. are people really that different? i jsut dont get it.

im sorry for pratteling on. Im tired and frustrated.
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:15 PM   #89
 
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Yea I've talked to my bf about this and him educating his son(in the future, he's only 4) and he said no one ever had to tell him that kind of stuff, it's just common sense and stuff like that would never cross his mind. He doesn't understand it either.

Some people are just bad.
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Old 04-12-2013, 03:10 PM   #90
 
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These are such tragic stories. I want to give hugs to all the brave women that have posted about their experiences in this thread.

My son is 7.5 years old and he has never asked me about anything sexual. But the general lessons about consent (for any touching/activity), respect and empathy and personal responsibility and name-calling and helping someone in need.... these are all things he can understand and we certainly talk about a lot.
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Old 04-12-2013, 09:31 PM   #91
 
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I'm so sick of hearing of these horrific things happening to women and girls. I have had negative experiences and so have many of my fiends. Years ago I read a report that claimed 1 in 3 women have been sexually assaulted and I felt ....sick and tired. The fact that someone thinks they have the right to rape and assault someone else just because they can and then get away with it is appalling. The extreme violence against women throughout the world needs to stop...women really need to band together.

I've had long discussions with my friends about the violent tendencies of MAN kind....we have our theories.
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Old 04-13-2013, 07:34 AM   #92
 
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last night i dreamt that i went to a high school to talk to the kids about careers in courts. after a few questions, someone asked me if it was really a crime to send naked pictures to their boyfriend or girlfriend.

i reached into my bag and pulled out a copy of the Criminal Code (criminal law is uniform across Canada) and started reading out the relevant sections on production, possession and distribution of child pornography.

the looks on their faces as i explained that the simple act of taking that picture meant they were breaking the law, then sending it broke another, and keeping it broke yet another, and that it could land them in jail for up to 10 years - they just couldn't believe it.

then i went to the sections on harassment and told them how *that* could land them in jail for 10 years, too.

someone said to me that the Youth Criminal Justice Act protects them because they're under 18, but i just smiled sweetly and said that any Crown Attorney can push to have them charged as adults and that i thought that would be happening a lot more often with so many teenagers like idiots. then i said i saw that act being repealed in the near future.

when i woke up, i actually felt like i accomplished something - and it was only in my dreams.
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Old 04-18-2013, 06:07 PM   #93
 
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My parents never talked to me about the possibility of being raped at a friends house. In fact they told me i would be safer drinking at a friend's house because you can trust your friends. I have passed out drunk at friends homes and nothing as ever happen. i have had friends pass house and nothing has ever happened. i dont understand why things are changing. I know teens shouldnt be drinking, but they do and they will. My parents knew this so they jsut told me how to be safe, "Always drink in a safe place with people you trust." I trusted my friends. I felt safe with my friends. If i had a child I would have sadi the same thing to her. but these girls made teh horrible mistake in trusting their friends. They thought they could be rebelous teen adn have fun and be safe becasue they were with their "friends." i'm not saying the friends are to be blamed, but where were they when things were going down? And what kind of peoplestands around and take pictures of someone being raped?

Yes, there's a false sense of security in partying with people you think are your friends. Sadly, it seems you can't trust anyone these days. Yet another girl was sexually assaulted last weekend while she was too drunk to resist. The only silver lining is that they apparently did not take pictures, unlike the Steubenville, Halifax and San Diego cases.

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Tarpon Springs, Florida -- Police in Tarpon Springs are investigating the sexual battery of a 15-year-old girl.

Police say the attack happened during a house party on April 13 around 1 a.m.

According to police, between eight and 20 juveniles (all from Tarpon Springs High School) were at a house party in Palm Harbor -- with no adults present -- when the victim became intoxicated and was taken to a room to lie down in. At one point she was reportedly taken advantage of by possibly three males under the age of 18.

Police say probably cause for one of the males, 17-year-old Jared Alexander Alissandratos, was established and he was arrested on a charge of sexual battery. The investigation continues and charges for the other two suspects will likely come from the state attorney's office.
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Old 04-18-2013, 06:41 PM   #94
 
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Yossarian, I live in Palm Harbor. It is "considered" to be one of the best communities in this county. I am sure this is a eye opener for a lot of parents who think their children are angels around here.
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Old 04-18-2013, 08:08 PM   #95
 
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Yossarian, I live in Palm Harbor. It is "considered" to be one of the best communities in this county. I am sure this is a eye opener for a lot of parents who think their children are angels around here.
Wow, this hits too close to home. Do you have any kids in the school system? I wonder how this incident is being addressed in the classroom (if at all).

This goes back to what was discussed upthread: teaching girls to be more cautious & boys to respect boundaries and basic standards of decency.

This thread has really broken my heart, reading all these traumatic experiences (including yours, juanab) Is the problem getting worse, or is our collective awareness simply higher because of social media? And it seems that many cases that would not have been pursued in the past are now being prosecuted as a result of public pressure.
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Old 04-18-2013, 10:26 PM   #96
 
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Yossarian, I live in Palm Harbor. It is "considered" to be one of the best communities in this county. I am sure this is a eye opener for a lot of parents who think their children are angels around here.
Wow, this hits too close to home. Do you have any kids in the school system? I wonder how this incident is being addressed in the classroom (if at all).

This goes back to what was discussed upthread: teaching girls to be more cautious & boys to respect boundaries and basic standards of decency.

This thread has really broken my heart, reading all these traumatic experiences (including yours, juanab) Is the problem getting worse, or is our collective awareness simply higher because of social media? And it seems that many cases that would not have been pursued in the past are now being prosecuted as a result of public pressure.
My daughter is in college now. When she was in 10th grade, I had to pick her up one day from school for a dental appt. As I pull up to the school, I see TV news vans parked in front of the school, but off the property. As we are leaving, one the reporters asks if she can speak to me and my daughter, I say yes. She proceeds to ask me if I knew that there was a teacher at the school who had been arrested having sex underaged girls and how did I feel about it! The teacher was 23. I was astounded. I explained how I was shocked and saddened and how I had discussion such situations with my daughter but certainly didn't expect for anything like that to happen there. It is touted as one of the "best high schools" in the county. You can bet we had ongoing talks on a weekly basis while she was in attendance there.

I have tried to be protective, but not overly so. I have seen what can happen to children when you foist paranoia on them. I was traumatized, but I didn't want to do that to my daughter.

I have been speaking to my daughter about this thread and what happened in our community. She said to me I would be surprised at the things she heard happened when she was in high school. I believe we are hearing more about these things because of social media. I agree more cases are being prosecuted due to public pressure.
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Old 04-24-2013, 07:21 AM   #97
 
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My daughter is in college now. When she was in 10th grade, I had to pick her up one day from school for a dental appt. As I pull up to the school, I see TV news vans parked in front of the school, but off the property. As we are leaving, one the reporters asks if she can speak to me and my daughter, I say yes. She proceeds to ask me if I knew that there was a teacher at the school who had been arrested having sex underaged girls and how did I feel about it! The teacher was 23. I was astounded. I explained how I was shocked and saddened and how I had discussion such situations with my daughter but certainly didn't expect for anything like that to happen there. It is touted as one of the "best high schools" in the county. You can bet we had ongoing talks on a weekly basis while she was in attendance there.
I think this happens more than we realize. When I was in high school way back when, a teacher in my HS was fired after he became involved with one of his female students. I don't recall whether there were any charges filed, but it was a big scandal because his father had taught in the district for almost 40 years (probably got his son hired), and was very highly regarded, so it was extremely awkward for him.

It's so important to keep the lines of communication open with our children, and make them feel that we will not judge them if they speak frankly with us (not matter how difficult that may be as a parent).

I just cannot believe how many school officials are willing to jeopardize the safety of female students merely to protect their reputations.

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... in 2010, a high school girl was sexually assaulted in a soundproof band room at Forest Hills (Michigan) Central High School by a star player on the school’s basketball team. After one of her teachers notified the principal about the assault, he discouraged the student and her parents from filing charges. But because they were concerned that this student might attack other girls, the student and her parents filed a police report, and the Kent County Sheriff’s Department began a criminal investigation. In fact, two weeks later, another female student was sexually assaulted by the same attacker. Still, despite an obligation under Title IX to investigate the assault and protect the student, the high school officials never interviewed the girl or her parents again, failed to conduct an investigation, and for two and a half weeks left the attacker in one of her classes. During this time, the girl sat in the guidance counselor’s office rather than be in class with the student who assaulted her and missed the benefit of instruction.

As word of the sexual assault spread among the student body, and students saw that the school took no action to reprimand the male student, the female victim became the target of an intensive cyber-bullying and harassment campaign—both at school and online—that depicted her as a liar and a “whore” who was trying to bring down an innocent athlete. The attacker and his friends verbally and physically harassed the girl as she moved in and out of classrooms, through hallways, and around the school campus. The attacker sometimes pushed her into other students as she walked down the hallway, causing her to slam into lockers. Despite repeated efforts by the victim’s parents and other students to alert the principal and the school’s Title IX Coordinator about the viciousness of the harassment by the attacker and other students, school administrators took no action.

Five weeks after the sexual assault, the Kent County Prosecutor’s office authorized two felony counts of criminal sexual conduct against the attacker for his assaults on NWLC’s client and the second female victim at the school. The attacker later pled guilty to a single count of misdemeanor assault and battery. He was sentenced to attend Kent County’s Adolescent Sexual Offender Treatment Program for a second time. The only sanction the school imposed upon the student assailant was temporarily benching him on the basketball court.
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Old 04-24-2013, 07:45 AM   #98
 
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because i have a vagina i fear for my safty. i am sure others with vagina's have similar fears. So i propose this:

We set out to randomly attack unsuspecting males and stick unwanted things in certain person orfices. after a few of these attacks, which they will not report for shame and fear of being blamed for it, the rest of th emale population will come to be wary of those with vaginas and what we may do to them. They will fear if they drink too much, wear the wrong clothes, adn behave the wrong way that they too will be attacked. soon those with vaginas will no longer have to fear walking home alone for the males will fear us!!!
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Old 04-24-2013, 01:01 PM   #99
 
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because i have a vagina i fear for my safty. i am sure others with vagina's have similar fears. So i propose this:

We set out to randomly attack unsuspecting males and stick unwanted things in certain person orfices. after a few of these attacks, which they will not report for shame and fear of being blamed for it, the rest of th emale population will come to be wary of those with vaginas and what we may do to them. They will fear if they drink too much, wear the wrong clothes, adn behave the wrong way that they too will be attacked. soon those with vaginas will no longer have to fear walking home alone for the males will fear us!!!

Vagina Vigilantes!
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Old 06-07-2013, 09:38 AM   #100
 
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Just saw this today & it really made my blood boil:

Exclusive: Leader of Anonymous Steubenville Op on Being Raided by the FBI | Mother Jones

The whistleblower who exposed the Steubenville rapists is now facing up to 10 YEARS in jail. Compare that to the longest sentence given to the rapists themselves, which was 2 years.

The threats and intimidation against people who are trying to bring justice to victims is really troubling. At every level, from the government on down, it's as if publicizing wrongdoing is the crime, rather than the wrongdoing itself.
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