spinoff: at what age, the "talk?"

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I forgot about the period talk. I never had one of those either. I learned everything I needed to know from my classmate, and close friend who started in the 3rd grade. She told mw everything I needed to know. I was still mortified when I started at 12, and did not say anything for some time. I eventually told my mom, and she was shocked that I did not bring it up when it happened. I had been told that getting your period meant you were a woman, by friends, and I was not ready to be a woman.

ETA: My friend really did do an excellent job explaining it to me. Her mom was an early developer, and worked in a medical facility, and did a brilliant job relating it to her. I understood the why's and what to do. With that said, if you are not having the talks, someone else is. :-/
Originally Posted by Fifi.G
It was a good thing you received excellent information from your friend. Before the age of Internet, if your friend or acquaintance gave you bad info (happened a lot back then), you couldn't verify what you had been told.
Originally Posted by juanab

The Encyclopedia Britannica could only only hold so much. Lol.

'Fingers crossed it's in here!'
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

I have ongoing talks with my kids. Much more so now with my almost 13yo daughter. She used to be very uncomfortable talking about anything body/sex related to I bought her a book at 9 or so called "The Care and Keeping of You". It covered a full range of age appropriate topics including hair and periods. I told her to read it and come to me with any questions she had. That seemed to really help. She read it countless times over the next year or so. She seemed to process the info better on her own. We now talk openly with each other and I talk openly with other people with her around about my views on sex Ed, talking to your kids, and birth control. She doesn't mind now and knows she can always come to me.
High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

P.S- You just flooded my mind with memories of door to door dictionary salesmen.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

I responded to this earlier today on my phone but it got eaten up in cyberspace.

Anyhoo, I was maybe 7 or 8 when my mom told me about the birds and the bees. It was kind of laughable actually. She read passages from a pamphlet that was outdated even in the 1970's where some of the statements read that masturbation could lead to a mental breakdown and/or blindness and that womenfolk were not to discuss current events with the menfolk and to always have the house clean and dinner ready. Yeah. I didn't have the period talk at the time, though. I got it at age 10 and was totally clueless. For two or three days, I thought I was dying. When I finally told my mother what was happening, that was when she told me what periods were. Fine time to tell me. I also got the bad touch, good touch talk too. I don't think she did that part well though. Even though she did state that family members or other people we knew could do bad touches, she didn't say that I was never to blame or that I talk to her if I needed to. She made it sound as if I should be distrustful of everyone and to always be on guard, so in the end, that part did me more harm than good.
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I have ongoing talks with my kids. Much more so now with my almost 13yo daughter. She used to be very uncomfortable talking about anything body/sex related to I bought her a book at 9 or so called "The Care and Keeping of You". It covered a full range of age appropriate topics including hair and periods. I told her to read it and come to me with any questions she had. That seemed to really help. She read it countless times over the next year or so. She seemed to process the info better on her own. We now talk openly with each other and I talk openly with other people with her around about my views on sex Ed, talking to your kids, and birth control. She doesn't mind now and knows she can always come to me.
Originally Posted by Jess the Mess


My daughter had that book too. So did all of her friends. She really got a lot out of it. We talked too, of course, but something about reading it with her friends really helped her understand.
Never. Rape is always the woman's fault, sex is only for marriage, of God wants you to have a baby, so be it, etc. i had to learn about everything on my own. With my kids, boy17 and girl15, it's been an ongoing topic since they were very young. I also bought them books so they could read on their own and ask questions.
There is no "the talk" in my home; it's part of routine personal health training sine they were born.
hello.world.
I was in kindergarden, my mom always answered any questions I had about anything and never saw the need to cover it up or make up stories. I was very mature for my age, and always had a lot of questions. So I learnt things very early.
Some of you already answered. Thanks. But to clarify: when did you tell your children specifically that a man puts his erect penis into a woman's vagina, ejaculates, and the sperm fertilizes an egg that comes from her ovaries?

Not refering to general health discussions.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Some of you already answered. Thanks. But to clarify: when did you tell your children specifically that a man puts his erect penis into a woman's vagina, ejaculates, and the sperm fertilizes an egg that comes from her ovaries?

Not refering to general health discussions.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

My daughter is almost 9. Some time last year she was asking how women get pregnant. I explained that women have an egg, and it has to be joined by sperm from a man, and then I explained how it comes together inside the woman's body to become a baby. And then I asked her if she had any questions, and I waited. I was nervous bc thought she would ask how the sperm gets inside the woman, but she did not. I assume she is not ready for that part and will come ask me that when she's ready for the next part of the conversation. So I didn't push that.
Some of you already answered. Thanks. But to clarify: when did you tell your children specifically that a man puts his erect penis into a woman's vagina, ejaculates, and the sperm fertilizes an egg that comes from her ovaries?

Not refering to general health discussions.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

My daughter is almost 9. Some time last year she was asking how women get pregnant. I explained that women have an egg, and it has to be joined by sperm from a man, and then I explained how it comes together inside the woman's body to become a baby. And then I asked her if she had any questions, and I waited. I was nervous bc thought she would ask how the sperm gets inside the woman, but she did not. I assume she is not ready for that part and will come ask me that when she's ready for the next part of the conversation. So I didn't push that.
Originally Posted by iroc
Haha I remember asking this to my mom. I already knew that the sperm got to the egg, learned it in class. She didn't really answer or maybe she said I'll know later. I figured it out and was thinking ewwww gross. I'm embarassed to say how old I was. I think most kids figure it out earlier lol.
Some of you already answered. Thanks. But to clarify: when did you tell your children specifically that a man puts his erect penis into a woman's vagina, ejaculates, and the sperm fertilizes an egg that comes from her ovaries?

Not refering to general health discussions.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

My daughter is almost 9. Some time last year she was asking how women get pregnant. I explained that women have an egg, and it has to be joined by sperm from a man, and then I explained how it comes together inside the woman's body to become a baby. And then I asked her if she had any questions, and I waited. I was nervous bc thought she would ask how the sperm gets inside the woman, but she did not. I assume she is not ready for that part and will come ask me that when she's ready for the next part of the conversation. So I didn't push that.
Originally Posted by iroc
Haha I remember asking this to my mom. I already knew that the sperm got to the egg, learned it in class. She didn't really answer or maybe she said I'll know later. I figured it out and was thinking ewwww gross. I'm embarassed to say how old I was. I think most kids figure it out earlier lol.
Originally Posted by Josephine
TELL US!
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3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

No!
Originally Posted by Josephine
Did you just figure it out after reading post #29??? Sorry!
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3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

I never really got a "talk" from my parents. Didn't need to, lol. I grew up with 3 teenage boys in the house. The first time I walked in on one of my brothers watching porn I was like 3. It was an ongoing discussion. My parents also were never embarrased or ashamed of being naked around me. For example, if I walked in on my dad peeing, he wasn't like "oh my god!!! Nonono!" It was more like, ok this is what boys have and it's different from the girls. There was never really a taboo on sex talks in my house.

I had the sex talk with my nephew when he was 9. Apparently my brother, and then-SIL never talked to him about it, so he did some google searches at a friends house. Looked up all kinds of porn and was terribly confused. We talk about everything, always have, so he confided in me and asked me. His question, "Lelly (his name for me), don't get mad, but can you tell me what is the snot that comes out of a boy's pipi?" My first reaction was babybatter. Lol but I explained it all to him.

He came to me at 14 and asked me to buy him condoms. I obliged, and we revisited the talk then. Also about sexts he got from girls, pregnancy scares, etc. Just the other day he called me to ask how plan b works. I'm happy that he has that trust in me and that we have the type of relationship where we can talk about those things without embarrassment.

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Last edited by caribcurls; 04-12-2013 at 01:38 PM.
I never had the talk with my mom. She seemed to come from the idea that if she talked about it I would want to do it. I wish she had though. I was a real dumbass about sex and knew little even about the most minor things. As far as my period, I got a pamphlet and that was the extent of that.

I am embarrassed to say that I haven't really had much discussion with my girls about sex other than providing honest but conservative explanations about things they asked about. It wasn't my intention for it to be this way but I haven't found much opportunity to bring it up in conversation. I want my kids to feel comfortable coming to me with stuff like that too. I was talking about this with a friend tonight and plan to make an effort to open the lines of communication and give them accurate information. The rape thread also gave me a lot to think about to add to the discussion.
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Ah, pornogrophy. That is how many kids learn. As I said, I never got a sex talk at home, but my friends father allowed us to watch his massive porn collection. They were all rather mild/standard/older XXX films. He was a doctor (family practice) and at age 12 he told us to feel free to watch, and come to him with any questions. Unusual, yes BUT I found it interesting that he did the same for his sons and daughters. Many fathers introduce their sons to porn, as part of an explanation, but it is rare that the same method be used with daughters.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

School taught me the basics. My min was there for questions.


The biggest thing she told me is if I started having sex, (she DIDN'T).

But there's no shade to her. She did a good job. All my hang ups came from ME!
FroZen
My parents never had "the" talk with me. We just discussed things over the years and they always answered my questions. I've done that with my kids also. I don't think there should be a big talk. There's just too much information. It needs to be age appropriate and spread out over time and covered again as needed. My children all talk to me about stuff comfortably and without being judged.
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When I was 8 or 9 my parents got me the book "Where Did I come From". I'd heard some things from friends about sex before and tried asking my mom but she was not comfortable talking to me about it at all (coming from a different country where sex was not discussed) so she got the book.

I've been talking with my kids ever since they could talk. They've known about private parts and that no one is to touch them since age 3 or 4. And I've answered questions about babies all along. I think my son finally asked about how the sperm gets to the egg when he was 6.5 or 7, the discussion was prompted by one of our fish having babies. So I told him how it works and got him this book.
I am not entirely sure what my daughter (5) knows, she definitely knows that babies grow in your belly and that they come out of your vagina. She also says she will marry a girl when she grows up so that the other girl can have the babies for her. She may or may not have been around for the conversations with my son and I don't know how much she would have absorbed at that age.
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