Feeling depressed again

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Been feeling pretty depressed the last few days. I'd like to vent a little here, and hopefully get some words of encouragement. I've had depression since I was 12. I usually have a stagnant depression but with periods of lows and this is one of them. I'm feeling my usual feelings during these times... Lonely, miserable, ugly, unloveable, worried about the future, u name it. I don't really have any friends,1 or 2 at most, and every year I find myself more and more lonely. I pretty much want to die. No, I'm not going to try anything, it's more like a "I wish I were never born" feeling. No one would care if I did die anyway. I've tried 7 medications so I really don't want to try anymore. I'm worried that I will feel like this the rest of my life, and spend my life alone and depressed and with nothing to look forward to other than coming home to my dog. Can anyone relate? I'm really very tired of having such low self esteem. I think it's where a majority of my issues stem. I've never had a real boyfriend, just guys who used me and dropped me when something better looking came along. I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone, and that's why I am alone. I feel like this is life's way of showing me that I have no value because no one cares about me, no matter how much I give and try to make others happy in their own lives. Thanks to anyone who read all of this. I'm just feeling really depressed and needed to get it out somehow since I don't really have anyone to talk to
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I don't have any advice but just hang in there. I hope tomorrow is a better day!
curlypearl likes this.
I'm sorry I'm terrible at these things. you're not ugly or a waste of space. your life will get better. And for all those guys and friends who ditched they're all pathetic lowlifes. oh and I to have really low self esteem so believe me I can relate. but best of luck I hope things get better for you ((((HUGS))))

Sent from my HTC Glacier using CurlTalk App
curlypearl and murrrcat like this.
Been feeling pretty depressed the last few days. I'd like to vent a little here, and hopefully get some words of encouragement. I've had depression since I was 12. I usually have a stagnant depression but with periods of lows and this is one of them. I'm feeling my usual feelings during these times... Lonely, miserable, ugly, unloveable, worried about the future, u name it. I don't really have any friends,1 or 2 at most, and every year I find myself more and more lonely. I pretty much want to die. No, I'm not going to try anything, it's more like a "I wish I were never born" feeling. No one would care if I did die anyway. I've tried 7 medications so I really don't want to try anymore. I'm worried that I will feel like this the rest of my life, and spend my life alone and depressed and with nothing to look forward to other than coming home to my dog. Can anyone relate? I'm really very tired of having such low self esteem. I think it's where a majority of my issues stem. I've never had a real boyfriend, just guys who used me and dropped me when something better looking came along. I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone, and that's why I am alone. I feel like this is life's way of showing me that I have no value because no one cares about me, no matter how much I give and try to make others happy in their own lives. Thanks to anyone who read all of this. I'm just feeling really depressed and needed to get it out somehow since I don't really have anyone to talk to
Originally Posted by sKorpio1190
This is tough. Depression sucks! I want you to know that your life is incredibly meaningful, and whether you know it or not, people know you and they care about you. Your absence would in fact create a void in other people's lives--don't think for one moment that no one cares or thinks about you.

Sometimes out of all of life's chaos and challenges, our greatest challenge is our own selves. It's important to try to nourish your soul with the things that bring you joy and positivity. Get a list and think of the things that have brought you joy and put a smile on your face--activities, hobbies, local places, and see if you can make those things part of your daily/weekly routine. As far as friendships, are there people that you have gone to school with that you were friends with that maybe you can reach out to? Perhaps also engaging in activities and organizations that you are interested in can widen your circle of friends. Don't be afraid to reach out; don't think about how you feel other people view you. There is nothing wrong with you. Your life is full of purpose. Feel good about who you are so that your personality, vibrancy and unique traits shine through. When other people feel good about themselves and about life, other people want to hang around those kind of people. There is no physical barrier stopping you from being one of those people, except that mental barrier. Refute the negativity, because you are absolutely amazing. Enough said.

Watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8oR8ztug0s . Every now and then, she has a video related to this topic, and she is incredibly positive. I just want to reinforce the message that you are incredibly worth it, and your life is full of boundless opportunities. Think positive. Treat yourself. Get a manicure, buy a new outfit, take a day trip to a nearby park or museum. But don't think negatively about yourself. Instead, think about something or someone else. Sometimes we get into a habit of thinking about ourselves too much--like our imperfections, what we lack, etc. Don't wallow in this though. Take your mind off of yourself and off of your problems, and think of what energizes you, what makes you passionate about life, what sparks your creativity and focus on those things.

I know it's not easy, and this kind of transition doesn't happen over night. But know that you are incredibly valuable. Start with that truth, and work from these. Just take it one day at a time. Please feel better!
People do care. I care and the curlies here care. It breaks my heart that you are feeling this way. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. Here's a cyberhug (((HUGS))) and I'm here if you need to talk. Just PM me and I'll call if you like.

Kay
curlypearl and murrrcat like this.
Do you believe in God at all? If so, I would start there (From personal experience, it makes all the difference!). If not, I think you should give the meds another try and keep trying. Best wishes. And yes, we really like having you around, even if you don't realize it.
curlypearl likes this.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Hello

I'm so sorry about the way you are feeling and have been feeling for decades. Depression is an ugly, awful and debilitating thing. I've been sad most of my life too. My parents divorced when I was ten and I have been moved around a ton. Always being the new kid in school was hard, especially with having frizzy hair and a pudgy nose, a special thanks to all of those kids who made me feel extra ugly for pointing those out.

I still get walked all over on to this date, because I have no self esteem. I never stand up for myself. I'd rather be the peace keeper and not set off any tempers or hurt anyone's feelings then to voice my opinion. That is even more depressing because people learn to get away with treating you badly. Goodbye self worth. People treat you according to how you feel about yourself.

I even have a complex about posting my opinions here about hair care. I know it's silly, but as soon as I take the time to post something, it's like the thread is diseased no one wants to reply to anything I say, lol. How silly of a thought is that? But after it happens numerous times, my mind starts to believe it.

I do hope things get better for you, I know how exactly how it feels to be lonely. At least you are smart, aren't you in grad school or something? I'm still depressed that I never went to college, I didn't think I could do it. I feel like a loser everyday because I don't feel smart…or pretty. My husband and I watch Millionaire together and he knows every single answer. Guess how many I know? 0!

I came across this as I was searching for how to feel better: http://205.196.121.37/zflmzn90e6tg/n...ries_FINAL.pdf

Don't be surprised if nobody posts after me, lol, I seem to have that effect on threads. Just yesterday, I took the time to write all about my after shower routine and the person who started the thread completely ignored it and wrote something completely unrelated. Yes, I took it personally, imagine that. I just deleted my whole page of tips and said, "nevermind".

Just know that you aren't alone. Feel free so send me a pm and I'll give you my email so I can gripe some more, lol! I'm a really good listener
curlypearl and lucyprimrose like this.
Hi, Sheilacurl......

I'd be honored to post after you.
Someone very close to me is dealing with a similar situation - and I wish I could help the pain and frustration go away. And I'm a "fixer" but I realize just letting them talk helps them even if no changes are made or other action taken. Hugs to you and wishing you peace and healing
curlypearl likes this.
Don't let your heart be broken. Let it love.
I feel so sad reading these entries. I can't think of anything to say that will help, except you (all of you who have posted in this thread) are not alone. From the bottom of my heart, I hope you feel better. I know what it is to struggle with painful feelings.

Please continue to post here and know that we are reading and feeling empathy and sympathy for you.
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Protein sensitive
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
Hi, Sheilacurl......

I'd be honored to post after you.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
Awe!
You are such a great bunch of girls here
curlypearl likes this.
Upper Michigan Dews
3a ~ Fine ~ High Porosity ~ Normal Density

NoPoo: JC Cleansing Cream
Rinse Outs: SS:PRT, CJ Repair Me, CJ Argan
Detangler: KCKT
Leave-in: CJ Repair me
Stylers: UFDCM, BRHG
Refreshers: Batiste (dry shampoo) on the roots & UFDCM everywhere else

iHerb Discount Code: SAF007

I feel so sad reading these entries. I can't think of anything to say that will help, except you (all of you who have posted in this thread) are not alone. From the bottom of my heart, I hope you feel better. I know what it is to struggle with painful feelings.

Please continue to post here and know that we are reading and feeling empathy and sympathy for you.
Originally Posted by curlypearl
Warm hugs to you, curlypearl
curlypearl likes this.
Upper Michigan Dews
3a ~ Fine ~ High Porosity ~ Normal Density

NoPoo: JC Cleansing Cream
Rinse Outs: SS:PRT, CJ Repair Me, CJ Argan
Detangler: KCKT
Leave-in: CJ Repair me
Stylers: UFDCM, BRHG
Refreshers: Batiste (dry shampoo) on the roots & UFDCM everywhere else

iHerb Discount Code: SAF007

I'm so so sorry for what you're going through. I can relate 100%. I don't really have much to offer in terms of advice as I'm in the same situation but I can offer you a big cyber (((HUG)))
curlypearl likes this.
Hey everyone. Thank you all for your kind words. It's nice to know that there are people out there who care. Sorry I didn't get back sooner. I've been keeping to myself and neglecting any forms of communication so I hadn't been checking my phone or my forums. I'm hoping this will pass soon. I know what triggered it, so I want to get over it and go back to my plateau. It's not a happy medium, but I rather have a plateaued depression then to be in this rut
curlypearl likes this.
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
I feel so sad reading these entries. I can't think of anything to say that will help, except you (all of you who have posted in this thread) are not alone. From the bottom of my heart, I hope you feel better. I know what it is to struggle with painful feelings.

Please continue to post here and know that we are reading and feeling empathy and sympathy for you.
Originally Posted by curlypearl
Warm hugs to you, curlypearl
Originally Posted by sheilacurl
To u as well, Sheila
curlypearl and sheilacurl like this.
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
What do you do to help yourself feel better? Do you have any hobbies?
It is really easy to isolate myself from everyone but even a phone call can boost my spirits. Texts and emails are one thing, but hearing a parent's or friend's voice can go a long way.

Here's to happy days ahead!
curlypearl likes this.
What do you do to help yourself feel better? Do you have any hobbies?
It is really easy to isolate myself from everyone but even a phone call can boost my spirits. Texts and emails are one thing, but hearing a parent's or friend's voice can go a long way.

Here's to happy days ahead!
Originally Posted by sheilacurl
Nope no hobbies. Idk why. I just never grew to like any one thing
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
Hello

I'm so sorry about the way you are feeling and have been feeling for decades. Depression is an ugly, awful and debilitating thing. I've been sad most of my life too. My parents divorced when I was ten and I have been moved around a ton. Always being the new kid in school was hard, especially with having frizzy hair and a pudgy nose, a special thanks to all of those kids who made me feel extra ugly for pointing those out.

I still get walked all over on to this date, because I have no self esteem. I never stand up for myself. I'd rather be the peace keeper and not set off any tempers or hurt anyone's feelings then to voice my opinion. That is even more depressing because people learn to get away with treating you badly. Goodbye self worth. People treat you according to how you feel about yourself.

I even have a complex about posting my opinions here about hair care. I know it's silly, but as soon as I take the time to post something, it's like the thread is diseased no one wants to reply to anything I say, lol. How silly of a thought is that? But after it happens numerous times, my mind starts to believe it.

I do hope things get better for you, I know how exactly how it feels to be lonely. At least you are smart, aren't you in grad school or something? I'm still depressed that I never went to college, I didn't think I could do it. I feel like a loser everyday because I don't feel smart…or pretty. My husband and I watch Millionaire together and he knows every single answer. Guess how many I know? 0!

I came across this as I was searching for how to feel better: http://205.196.121.37/zflmzn90e6tg/n...ries_FINAL.pdf

Don't be surprised if nobody posts after me, lol, I seem to have that effect on threads. Just yesterday, I took the time to write all about my after shower routine and the person who started the thread completely ignored it and wrote something completely unrelated. Yes, I took it personally, imagine that. I just deleted my whole page of tips and said, "nevermind".

Just know that you aren't alone. Feel free so send me a pm and I'll give you my email so I can gripe some more, lol! I'm a really good listener
Originally Posted by sheilacurl
The link didn't work :-/
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
I know how you feel. Thing is none of the stuff we think will make it all better does.

When I was young I was alone and depressed. Now I'm married, and I STILL get like you're feeling these days! Now, DH isn't the best at cheering people up (well not ME anyway.) so that's neither here nor there.

I think the key is finding out why we feel so bad and not letting others dictate our mood. It's hard and I haven't mastered it myself.

You can PM me if you'd like. If I don't respond right away I'm not ignoring you. I just forget to check it sometimes. But I'm available to listen ( read) to your problems.
curlypearl likes this.
FroZen
The link didn't work :-/
Sorry, I guess it's not a link, it's a download, in pdf format. It's a free ebook...I'll see if I can find where you sign up for it. So sorry about that…

…Ok, here's the link to get the free e-book called Hear Your Soul, Heal Yourself: Anamsong | Anamsong

It's on the right hand side where it says, "Start HEAR" (and no, that's not a typo.) You get the link via email and then you can unsubscribe anytime. But I haven't yet, there is a lot of good reading material, lol.
curlypearl likes this.

Last edited by sheilacurl; 04-20-2013 at 01:49 PM.

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