Article- Teach girls to be more like boys

Like Tree34Likes

But the sugar and spice idea is still THERE tho. You see it in marketing for kid's toys and other things.
And women and males behave differently (in general) because, like I said, behavior is learned. Society teaches that passive aggressive behavior is feminine, aggressive behavior is masculine. Which is silly. And untrue.

As far as nature goes I only have two examples on hand because, lbr, I hate animals and nature. But lionesses are def more aggressive. They’re the ones that hunt and ish. And female spiders mate and then kill the male. That’s pretty aggressive. Actually female spiders tend to be more deadly than their male counterparts.
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

I agree annabananafoster.

my dad is the quiet passive person (until you push his buttons), and my mom is the direct, assertive, takes no prisoners person.

I just turned out like my dad so, I have "nice girl" syndrome and made friends with equally unassertive girls in school, and my brother is.....aggressive more than just assertive, I'd call him a grade A ******* but having children has calmed him down.


My mom would always be mean to me (not really mean but direct which me being a sensitve person thought was mean) because I didn't speak up and she couldn't understand why.

annabananalise likes this.
But the sugar and spice idea is still THERE tho. You see it in marketing for kid's toys and other things.
And women and males behave differently (in general) because, like I said, behavior is learned. Society teaches that passive aggressive behavior is feminine, aggressive behavior is masculine. Which is silly. And untrue.

As far as nature goes I only have two examples on hand because, lbr, I hate animals and nature. But lionesses are def more aggressive. They’re the ones that hunt and ish. And female spiders mate and then kill the male. That’s pretty aggressive. Actually female spiders tend to be more deadly than their male counterparts.
Originally Posted by annabananalise
When I said nature, I was referring to the nature vs nurture topic (not animals lol).

Being direct isn't the same as being aggressive and not what I meant. Being direct is an example of being assertive. Assertivess is totally different than aggression and passivity. No one gender/sex owns assertiveness and IMO it comes from a place of confidence...not testosterone.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
I know, and assertiveness is not accepted generally with females(here in the u.s. at least). It's seen as aggressiveness because of the double standard. It sucks when people call you a dude just because you dont fit in the sugar and spice sweet box.
Originally Posted by Josephine
I actually think a lot of male and female ppl appreciate and prefer a direct, assertive approach. But it can be disconcerting bc it is not as commonly seen in women, bc it can cost men something and bc other women are jealous of the confidence it suggests.

Labels like "hysterical" and "the B word" do get thrown around but it's not from dispassionate, rational assertiveness.

If a guy called me a "dude," I would just tell him not to worry, I could teach him how to be one also. Bc clearly, he's struggling w/ something. LOL
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

When I said nature, I was referring to the nature vs nurture topic (not animals lol).
Originally Posted by Josephine
Oop lol well. I was just being...direct? Lol idk

Eta: wait! Sorry I was referring to spiderlashes when she was talking about species and things. Lol I should have quoted but I lazy.

Also to counteract the dude thing, I call everyone sis. Because well the ssss sound is satisfying and it's fun watching males get pressed.
murrrcat likes this.
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?


Last edited by annabananalise; 05-01-2013 at 11:23 AM.

Being direct isn't the same as being aggressive and not what I meant. Being direct is an example of being assertive. Assertivess is totally different than aggression and passivity. No one gender/sex owns assertiveness and IMO it comes from a place of confidence...not testosterone.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
I know, and assertiveness is not accepted generally with females(here in the u.s. at least). It's seen as aggressiveness because of the double standard. It sucks when people call you a dude just because you dont fit in the sugar and spice sweet box.
Originally Posted by Josephine
I actually think a lot of male and female ppl appreciate and prefer a direct, assertive approach. But it can be disconcerting bc it is not as commonly seen in women, bc it can cost men something and bc other women are jealous of the confidence it suggests.

Labels like "hysterical" and "the B word" do get thrown around but it's not from dispassionate, rational assertiveness.

If a guy called me a "dude," I would just tell him not to worry, I could teach him how to be one also. Bc clearly, he's struggling w/ something. LOL
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
LOL yea, I tell them my penis is way bigger than theirs.

I think a lot of people prefer assertiveness but for many it is intepreted differently and negatively coming from women. Part of the reason women also get paid less in certain fields is because most women lack the assertiveness/confidence to demand more. And unfortunately we may have to be extra assertive to make up for the other reasons.
When I said nature, I was referring to the nature vs nurture topic (not animals lol).
Originally Posted by Josephine
Oop lol well. I was just being...direct? Lol idk

Eta: wait! Sorry I was referring to spiderlashes when she was talking about species and things. Lol I should have quoted but I lazy.

Also to counteract the dude thing, I call everyone sis. Because well the ssss sound is satisfying and it's fun watching males get pressed.
Originally Posted by annabananalise
I call everyone guy or dude. My bf would get pissed when I would call him dude, but I cant help it. I saw him as a friend too. I dont do it as much anymore but sometimes just to piss him off lol.

If a guy called me a "dude," I would just tell him not to worry, I could teach him how to be one also. Bc clearly, he's struggling w/ something. LOL
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Lol, this cracked me up.
Josephine likes this.
Big chop: 5/30/10
CG, clarify with Aveda Brilliant Shampoo when needed
Dense, medium-fine strands, lowish porosity. Avoiding glycerin outside the shower.
Cowash:Suave Coconut Conditioner.
Leave in: YtCucumbers and EVOO
Styling Products: Flaxseed gel, Phillip B Soft Hold Gel, KMF Upper Management Gel
DC: Doctored GVP or Suave conditioner
Cleanser: Bentonite clay
But the sugar and spice idea is still THERE tho. You see it in marketing for kid's toys and other things.
And women and males behave differently (in general) because, like I said, behavior is learned. Society teaches that passive aggressive behavior is feminine, aggressive behavior is masculine. Which is silly. And untrue.

As far as nature goes I only have two examples on hand because, lbr, I hate animals and nature. But lionesses are def more aggressive. They’re the ones that hunt and ish. And female spiders mate and then kill the male. That’s pretty aggressive. Actually female spiders tend to be more deadly than their male counterparts.
Originally Posted by annabananalise

I think girls/women can be exceedingly mean. So I don't see any evidence of sugar n spice lessons being taught to them at home. Or if they are, they are failing. (What I do see is childcare and beautification themes conveyed in girls' toys.)

Men have much higher levels of testosterone than women and it contributes to responses that we describe as "aggressive" -- punching, shooting, raping, pillaging, doggedly pursuing sex, etc.

That's what I meant about men and women being wired differently. We just are. And I was bringing that up in response to the article's mention of how girls behave when they're fighting w/ each other or acting out in whatever way.

But that was different than girls having the confidence to want to take on a leadership position. And yes, that can definitely be groomed and isn't biological.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 05-02-2013 at 09:26 AM.
But the sugar and spice idea is still THERE tho. You see it in marketing for kid's toys and other things.
And women and males behave differently (in general) because, like I said, behavior is learned. Society teaches that passive aggressive behavior is feminine, aggressive behavior is masculine. Which is silly. And untrue.

As far as nature goes I only have two examples on hand because, lbr, I hate animals and nature. But lionesses are def more aggressive. They’re the ones that hunt and ish. And female spiders mate and then kill the male. That’s pretty aggressive. Actually female spiders tend to be more deadly than their male counterparts.
Originally Posted by annabananalise

I think girls/women can be exceedingly mean. So I don't see any evidence of sugar n spice lessons being taught to them at home. Or if they are, they are failing. (What I do see is childcare and beautification themes conveyed in girls' toys.)

Men have much higher levels of testosterone than women and it contributes to responses that we describe as "aggressive" -- punching, shooting, raping, pillaging, doggedly pursuing sex, etc.

That's what I meant about men and women being wired differently. We just are. And I was bringing that up in response to the article's mention of how girls behave when they're fighting w/ each other or acting out in whatever way.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Aggressiveness has nothing to do with girls not being direct with each other. You can still be direct or say no in a non aggressive way. I've noticed females are more uncomfortable being direct and this can affect leadership skills.

But yes, I've found more of the meaner people I have encountered have been females. But I think they think it's nice to not say anything mean but just be a dick instead which is way worse to me.
But the sugar and spice idea is still THERE tho. You see it in marketing for kid's toys and other things.
And women and males behave differently (in general) because, like I said, behavior is learned. Society teaches that passive aggressive behavior is feminine, aggressive behavior is masculine. Which is silly. And untrue.

As far as nature goes I only have two examples on hand because, lbr, I hate animals and nature. But lionesses are def more aggressive. They’re the ones that hunt and ish. And female spiders mate and then kill the male. That’s pretty aggressive. Actually female spiders tend to be more deadly than their male counterparts.
Originally Posted by annabananalise

I think girls/women can be exceedingly mean. So I don't see any evidence of sugar n spice lessons being taught to them at home. Or if they are, they are failing. (What I do see is childcare and beautification themes conveyed in girls' toys.)

Men have much higher levels of testosterone than women and it contributes to responses that we describe as "aggressive" -- punching, shooting, raping, pillaging, doggedly pursuing sex, etc.

That's what I meant about men and women being wired differently. We just are. And I was bringing that up in response to the article's mention of how girls behave when they're fighting w/ each other or acting out in whatever way.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Aggressiveness has nothing to do with girls not being direct with each other. You can still be direct or say no in a non aggressive way. I've noticed females are more uncomfortable being direct and this can affect leadership skills.

But yes, I've found more of the meaner people I have encountered have been females. But I think they think it's nice to not say anything mean but just be a dick instead which is way worse to me.
Originally Posted by Josephine
I think physical aggression is an outlet that men can use to blow off steam (obviously some ways are less healthy than others). Maybe that's why some women stay so bitter. Just throw a spear at a buffalo and keep it moving!

But yes, I agree that girs can be raised to be direct and to have the confidence to shrug off whatever criticism that comes w/ that.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 05-02-2013 at 11:33 AM.
I think that there is a certain personality type around which most businesses and politics as well revolve. Those who excel are extremely self-promoting, in some cases to the point of braggart because that can be what it takes, rather than focus on doing things well. This is a cultural issue from what I can tell, and studies have repeatedly shown the population with most people in that personality/interaction type are white males.

I don't think girls should be "more like boys." I think that's insulting and offensive. I do, however, agree that they should be taught to be direct and straightforward. Some people will still be more outgoing and more interested in the limelight, but straightforward communication and expressing one's opinion is healthy communication, and something all our children should be taught. Maybe it's simply that going from PO'd and punching your friend in the nose to PO'd and sharing your opinion is an easier adjustment than being PO'd and holding it in, or maybe thinking we have to hold it in as children makes women internalize and think they don't deserve an opinion or something. Heck, I know a lot of the time when discussing restaurants or stores, etc., with a group of friends if I'm definite in my *opinion* people think that means I'll mind going elsewhere. No, I just gave my first choice and others will work, too, but I'm not going to stay silent simply because I have an opinion. Too many of us who aren't white males were taught our opinions didn't matter - I never cared and shared mine anyway, but I suspect I would have been a major ass if I were male and had the added aggressiveness. I don't want to be "more like a boy" - I want to be eloquent and straightforward, compromise when appropriate, and not be out there starting wars because it seems a good idea at the time. Because men do that, too.
Josephine likes this.
The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
-Speckla

But at least the pews never attend yoga!
I hate males.
Originally Posted by thelio
you know what....

this isn't the way to go.

we're all, at the very least, daughters of a man.

my father was a good, kind, decent man and my mother is the one that treated him badly.

i have a wonderful brother-in-law who has been married to my step-sister for over 40 years. he has raised an amazing son who has been in the same relationship for 10 years.

my male cousins and uncles are all, uniformly, amazing men.

sure, i've been hurt, by men - not just in my personal life, but in my professional life. but i've had women friends that turned out to be anything but and female bosses that were even worse than the worst guy.

individual PEOPLE can be bad - but this gender-bashing isn't helping either side in the battle of the sexes.

and i'm sick of seeing it here on NC.

Originally Posted by rouquinne
While I do get that T was joking, I also get what you are saying, and agree. I'm not one for male bashing. I find statements like the majority of these to be incredibly disturbing. Do note, some adult convo in link below but all cuss words are censored.

http://www.experienceproject.com/sto...ginity/1269918

Granted, I might have my "stupid men!!!" moments, and I have absolutely been hurt and mistreated by men, but even with that I still love them. Most of the ones I know, and have came in contact with, are wonderful human beings and far outweigh the bad apples.


As far as the sugar and spice thing goes... I don't know anyone raising their children like that either. When I read this I was thinking back to my school years and it was rare to find a delicate wall flower. No one had any qualms with telling you how they were feeling, but I also live in an area where most of the girls were taught to fight. We were not taught to start it, we were taught to talk first, but when all else failed we were taught to go for the throat. It had nothing to do with acting like a girl or being more like a boy. It was more of a survival/defense thing.

I do seem to hear several young women say they avoid all conflict now. I am not sure if it is how they are being raised or a general temperament. My mom is this way. My dad was not, and I am more like him (but luckily I have enough of my mom to cool my jets when need be).
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 06-03-2013 at 02:40 PM.
I guess a better way to put it is, we were taught to stand up for ourselves and not taught to be ashamed of or hide our aggression, which women have as well and need to release. Of course there are several ways to do that.

I don't know. I thought about this thread as I did some reading recently. The article seemed bit strange to me, but some of the other things I have read seem strange as well. Long story...

And don't ask how I cam across the link I posted. Lol. Ugh. *The collector of quotes starts floating around in space, too*. Several different mind sets seem frighteningly (pitch fork) puritanical to me right now. Again, long story.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 06-03-2013 at 05:20 PM.

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:07 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com