The number of sexual partners your SO has had

Like Tree15Likes

Do you think it's good to discuss/ask how many people your SO has slept with in life? Or is it a bad idea? Neither? Nunion? Other?
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
I don't care how many partners my partner may have had. But I HAVE encountered partners that had a problem with my having existed in a sexual manner before them. Which I've always thought was strange. I didn't just start existing as a sexual woman when I got together with Ms. X or Y.


Mix of 3s, thick, coarse, medium porosity

Current hair styling technique: rake with a scrunch at the end. (works with my coarse hair)

http://public.fotki.com/curlymix/
pw: curls

Known HGs: KCCC, homemade fsg, honey
this is a constant topic on the Plenty of Fish forums.

i am firmly in the None of Your Business camp!

the only thing that should matter is the person they are with at the moment. period.
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
I also do not think it matters. I dont care.
Nothing good comes of answering it either way. Too few and you're inexperienced, too many and you're a slut/player.
Wiregirl, murrrcat, thelio and 2 others like this.
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
Nothing good comes of answering it either way. Too few and you're inexperienced, too many and you're a slut/player.
Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian
+1

Sent from my HTCEVOV4G using CurlTalk App
3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
I think its typically a bad idea. Ironically, my bf and I had this conversation this weekend. In our case, I answered his question because i knew he wouldnt have a problem whether the number was high or low. In my past, most men I've dated were extremely weird about any number at all, as if they like to pretend they're your first or second.

As a general rule, I would skip this question all together.
I have no idea how many he's had, and he has no idea how many I've had. I don't think either of us would have a problem with having that conversation, and I know neither of us would care what the numbers were, but it's totally irrelevant to our relationship.
Josephine and Rubber Biscuit like this.
One of my friends told her fiance: "Oh, three or four," but giggled with me about her true number: "more like three or four hundred!" (She was exaggerating, of course.)

http://geaugadoggy.wordpress.com
I don't think stating an exact number is necessary or really even useful. But it would be informative to know roughly whether he or she is a virgin or has very limited exprience or an average amount or has been very sexually active or has been the victim of nonvoluntary sexual experiences or whatever. It's all good info to help you know what you're working with, and especially if your respective levels of activity don't match.

Sex (or lack of it or dissimilar levels of interest in it or incompatiblity or mismatched levels of experience with it) can KILL a relationship. So discussion on the topic is important IMO. Not asking for a number, per se, but really trying to understand your partner's history.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

I don't think stating an exact number is necessary or really even useful. But it would be informative to know roughly whether he or she is a virgin or has very limited exprience or an average amount or has been very sexually active or has been the victim of nonvoluntary sexual experiences or whatever. It's all good info to help you know what you're working with, and especially if your respective levels of activity don't match.

Sex (or lack of it or dissimilar levels of interest in it or incompatiblity or mismatched levels of experience with it) can KILL a relationship. So discussion on the topic is important IMO. Not asking for a number, per se, but really trying to understand your partner's history.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
I agree We don't have any problems in that department so for us, there's no real need or desire to discuss numbers.
Yes. We discuss everything. We even share in detail how good/bad the previous sex was and the when/where/how. I wouldn't date a guy who was uncomfortable talking about it or had any qualms with the number of guys I've slept with. I noticed that these type of men are usually sexist and believe in the double standard. It puzzles me when others have a problem with it or even consider this a debatable question. What is the point of being in a relationship with someone if you can't even talk to them about personal things? Especially if you're married to them.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using CurlTalk App
hairhealth likes this.
4A/4B FINE/COARSE LOW POROSITY HIGH DENSITY
TRANSITIONED: Since Dec 23, 2010 (I think...)
BC DATE: July 23, 2013 (about 31 months)

7/23/13 :: SL
1/9/14 :: CBL
5/13/14 :: APL


I Shea Moisture, Nubian Heritage, Camille Rose!

Last edited by sakiohma; 05-13-2013 at 10:53 AM.
I don't think stating an exact number is necessary or really even useful. But it would be informative to know roughly whether he or she is a virgin or has very limited exprience or an average amount or has been very sexually active or has been the victim of nonvoluntary sexual experiences or whatever. It's all good info to help you know what you're working with, and especially if your respective levels of activity don't match.

Sex (or lack of it or dissimilar levels of interest in it or incompatiblity or mismatched levels of experience with it) can KILL a relationship. So discussion on the topic is important IMO. Not asking for a number, per se, but really trying to understand your partner's history.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
This. I don't know exact numbers, we never asked each other exact numbers, but we both have a good idea of each other's past romantic history and patterns.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
I don't think the number is anyone's business other than your own, but I think if you're getting into a relationship with someone, it's understandable to want to know about their life history, which includes dating/relationship history. I want to know if they guy has had 2 long-term relationships in the past 10 years, or has been dating around without anything serious for the past 10 years. It just helps to understand someone, and where they're coming from, if you understand their background.
divegirl likes this.
"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
I don't think the number is anyone's business other than your own, but I think if you're getting into a relationship with someone, it's understandable to want to know about their life history, which includes dating/relationship history. I want to know if they guy has had 2 long-term relationships in the past 10 years, or has been dating around without anything serious for the past 10 years. It just helps to understand someone, and where they're coming from, if you understand their background.
Originally Posted by Who Me?
Yep. Our dating histories came up naturally over the course of getting to know each other, as well as some history about our more significant prior relationships with other people. That was especially important as we are both still friends with one or two of our exes so in the interests of open and honest communication, we talked about why those relationships didn't work so there would be no jealousy or suspicion.

But as for a specific number of sexual partners - nope!
I haven't asked about a specific number in about 20 yrs. But if, for some reason I did, and he knew it but was unwilling to tell me, I'd think it was rather strange.

Sent from my SCH-I605 using CurlTalk App
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

a dating and *relationship* history is one thing - especially if you are in the process of developing a new relationship with someone. that's important to getting to know someone and seeing if your relationship styles will work together.

but a specific number of lovers - NO WAY IN HELL!

no one needs to know that but me... ever.

Wiregirl likes this.
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
I would never ask a boyfriend how many partners he has had and wouldn't expect him to ever ask me. I've known my current boyfriend since grade school so he knows I've had "alot" of boyfriends/partners but would never ask me a number. We talk about sex all the time but not about specific previous partners.
If a boyfriend did ask me I would nicely say "It's none of your business and of no importance to our relationship."
In Western PA
Found NC in 2004. CG since 2-05, going grey since 9-05. 3B with some 3A.
Hair texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
Suave & VO5 cond, LA Looks Sport Gel, oils, honey, vinegar.
http://public.fotki.com/jeepcurlygurl/ password jeepy **updated Aug 2014**


Last edited by jeepcurlygurl; 05-13-2013 at 03:03 PM.
I don't think I have ever asked that question before. My first love and I had the discussion because he was my first, we were young, but he was not a virgin. Other than that... I have known specific former partners ex's had, because it's a small town, but I have felt no need to ask further.

I have had several men ask me for specifics. If asked, I will answer honestly. If he has a problem, or suffers from delusions, he should not have asked.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:33 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com