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-   -   He broke up with me in an email!! (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/non-hair-discussion/158359-he-broke-up-me-email.html)

Wiregirl 05-16-2013 07:54 PM

He broke up with me in an email!!
 
Ok I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. He's 60 I'm 57. We only get to see each other once a week and everyother weekend. I really like him, but over the past few weeks things have taken a shift. I feel like he has no time for me and is always rushed. We haven't spoken about this because I don't want to put any pressure on him. SO here is the email I get from him today after not hearing from him since Sun. Plus my question is do I respond??

My name here:
I have been really struggling with this thought of breaking up.
It just seems like the right thing to do.

I know I am a terrible boyfriend. I really do not have time to dedicate to
a relationship. This is really not fair to you. Life has taken such a turn
as I try and get back on my feet and my struggles do not allow me to
even think about you or "us" except for our occasional dates.

On top of the demand on my schedule presently, now I know I also will
be going out of town for work taking me away even more.

I feel really bad about this and should not be holding you back
as you deserve more and are such a wonderful and fun lady.
The timing is just off for me and I truly am sorry.

I wish the best for you and I feel so bad about this,
my time with you will always be treasured. thank you for that.
ken

scrills 05-16-2013 07:59 PM

Men are dumb
sorry!

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RedCatWaves 05-16-2013 08:06 PM

Ken needs to change his name. To Coward.

I'd delete him, and block him, and not even respond.

Kimley13 05-16-2013 08:12 PM

Really? 60 ain't no different than 16. Cut your loses and move on. I wouldn't even entertain him with a response.

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SunshineGrrl 05-16-2013 09:16 PM

Yeah, I'm with everybody else here. I'd just leave him alone and not respond and especially block him.

The New Black 05-16-2013 09:36 PM

Damn I'm sorry. Should you respond? That depends. What do you hope to accomplish from it? Just to give him a piece of your mind? To make him reconsider? If you just want to vent at his tacky way of breaking up, then sure go ahead.

longlivecurls 05-16-2013 09:38 PM

If he doesn't have the decency to break up with you face to face then he doesn't deserve any more of your time let alone a response. Just be thankful he only wasted 3 months of your time instead of 3 years.

BlackAngelPlayah 05-17-2013 02:15 AM

Men are terrible..

But an email/letter is easier than looking someone in they eye. It's hard to break up.

But I'm sorry for your pain. :(

Sayoon 05-17-2013 02:49 AM

If u didn't mention the age I would hv thought hez 15 or something but hmm I don't wanna judge him god only knows what was he thinking..! I would defiantly ignore him n move on , maybe later I would call or reply just for a closure for my sake so I don't leave unfinished business behind. That's it, best of luck.

Curly Sara 05-17-2013 03:33 AM

I would respond politely and say something like: " thank you for taking time to write this e-mail. I wish you good luck!" No more no less. Prople who dont wish to spend time with you doesnt deserve you either. But i am a fan of always being polite. Then you will never regret on things you have said.

Spider 05-17-2013 04:09 AM

Ok. First I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. It doesn't sound like there was that much time or experience shared. Nonetheless

I'm not a big "you're a bigger jerk cause you didn't say it to my face" person. Would you feel better if he took you to dinner, told you there ? And then sit there awkwardly or worse feel like you don't want to see his face a minute longer so you leave.

You can sulk in private and now you know it's over. No mixed messages or wishy washy stringing you along. Or worse using you.

Sorry wiregirl!

So_Jane 05-17-2013 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kimley13 (Post 2170894)
Really? 60 ain't no different than 16. Cut your loses and move on. I wouldn't even entertain him with a response.

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Well said.

Jenny C 05-17-2013 07:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spider (Post 2170949)
Ok. First I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. It doesn't sound like there was that much time or experience shared. Nonetheless

I'm not a big "you're a bigger jerk cause you didn't say it to my face" person. Would you feel better if he took you to dinner, told you there ? And then sit there awkwardly or worse feel like you don't want to see his face a minute longer so you leave.

You can sulk in private and now you know it's over. No mixed messages or wishy washy stringing you along. Or worse using you.

Sorry wiregirl!

I kind of agree. Yes e-mail is sort of tacky, but at least he actually broke up with you. There are a lot of guys who can't even do that, so they just disappear - which is really the most cowardly thing a guy can do IMO.

Sorry it didn't work out, but at least you know and you can move forward. I wouldn't bother sending a reply.

LAwoman 05-17-2013 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spider (Post 2170949)
Ok. First I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. It doesn't sound like there was that much time or experience shared. Nonetheless

I'm not a big "you're a bigger jerk cause you didn't say it to my face" person. Would you feel better if he took you to dinner, told you there ? And then sit there awkwardly or worse feel like you don't want to see his face a minute longer so you leave.

You can sulk in private and now you know it's over. No mixed messages or wishy washy stringing you along. Or worse using you.

Sorry wiregirl!

This is very insightful, actually, and upon further consideration ITA with spider!

And it's true, some men just pull a "Houdini" when they want to break things off and you never hear from them again. Now, at least, you know. Now, onto bigger and better things! 8-o

eta: My last boyfriend and I ended our 3-year relationship over the phone. He was in St. Louis and I was in DC, so that's just kind of how it went down. In retrospect, it wouldn't have been any better or easier being face-to-face.

LadyV69 05-17-2013 07:36 AM

Sorry about what happened. I've had guys break up with me over the phone in the past. Breaking up in person is difficult, so using technology is a little easier though it seems cowardly. Like some other people have stated , at least you know where you stand and can move forward, even if did use email. Other guys would've just disappeared.

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claudine191 05-17-2013 07:50 AM

I'm sorry, wiregirl. I've been there......and worse.

curlypearl 05-17-2013 08:43 AM

I'm sorry this happened to you, Wiregirl. Frankly, I wouldn't waste one second on this guy.

Maybe it wouldn't have been any easier for you in person, but he wasn't thinking of YOUR comfort when he did it by email - he was just being a sniveling, cowardly creep.

He took the easy way out. He didn't "man up." Screw him and move on. You deserve much better.

GurlwithCurls 05-17-2013 09:15 AM

I'm sorry too... getting dumped sucks, no matter how it happens.

Given that you weren't together long and it doesn't sound as though you spent a ton of time together during those 3 months, I don't share some of the other ladies' outrage over an email break-up. For a longer-term relationship where you spend significant portions of the week together and your lives are more intertwined, then definitely, in-person is more appropriate, IMO. At least his message was honest and respectful, and he doesn't seem like a jerk. I agree with Curly Sara's suggestion of a brief, polite response wishing him well, since it appears he put some thought into his correspondence to you.

violets 05-18-2013 07:32 AM

Well I am thinking he took the time to write a well thought out email , at least .
He was going to break up with you anyway and he was already distancing himself so at least this put an and to the wait.
There would have been no point to doing it in person. He was direct, to the point and oVerall final.
I am sorry.

medussa 05-18-2013 01:21 PM

I'm sorry about your breakup. Breaking up with you via email was certainly not ideal, but I'm glad he didn't string you along.


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