Go Back   CurlTalk > Life > Non-hair discussion

Like Tree36Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-16-2013, 07:54 PM   #1
 
Wiregirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,752
Default He broke up with me in an email!!

Ok I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. He's 60 I'm 57. We only get to see each other once a week and everyother weekend. I really like him, but over the past few weeks things have taken a shift. I feel like he has no time for me and is always rushed. We haven't spoken about this because I don't want to put any pressure on him. SO here is the email I get from him today after not hearing from him since Sun. Plus my question is do I respond??

My name here:
I have been really struggling with this thought of breaking up.
It just seems like the right thing to do.

I know I am a terrible boyfriend. I really do not have time to dedicate to
a relationship. This is really not fair to you. Life has taken such a turn
as I try and get back on my feet and my struggles do not allow me to
even think about you or "us" except for our occasional dates.

On top of the demand on my schedule presently, now I know I also will
be going out of town for work taking me away even more.

I feel really bad about this and should not be holding you back
as you deserve more and are such a wonderful and fun lady.
The timing is just off for me and I truly am sorry.

I wish the best for you and I feel so bad about this,
my time with you will always be treasured. thank you for that.
ken
Wiregirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2013, 07:59 PM   #2
 
scrills's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 4,286
Default

Men are dumb
sorry!

Sent from my SPH-D710 using CurlTalk App
rouquinne, LAwoman, Layali and 3 others like this.
scrills is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2013, 08:06 PM   #3
 
RedCatWaves's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 31,609
Default

Ken needs to change his name. To Coward.

I'd delete him, and block him, and not even respond.
LAwoman, xcptnl, Wiregirl and 4 others like this.
RedCatWaves is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2013, 08:12 PM   #4
 
Kimley13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 46
Default

Really? 60 ain't no different than 16. Cut your loses and move on. I wouldn't even entertain him with a response.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App
LAwoman, curlypearl and thelio like this.
Kimley13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2013, 09:16 PM   #5
 
SunshineGrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 3,820
Default

Yeah, I'm with everybody else here. I'd just leave him alone and not respond and especially block him.
curlypearl and claudine191 like this.
__________________
2B...ish
http://public.fotki.com/SunshineGrrl/ pw: drama
Products
This area is under construction as my hair type changed and nothing works well for me. I shampoo, I condition and pretty much have done nothing but chuck my hair in a messy bun for the past oh...year? Yeah, I'm that lazy.

No...going no-poo or CG does not work for me. It leaves me overconditioned and oily in a second no matter what I use, so that's not what's not working.
SunshineGrrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2013, 09:36 PM   #6
 
The New Black's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 13,683
Default

Damn I'm sorry. Should you respond? That depends. What do you hope to accomplish from it? Just to give him a piece of your mind? To make him reconsider? If you just want to vent at his tacky way of breaking up, then sure go ahead.
__________________
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
The New Black is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-16-2013, 09:38 PM   #7
 
longlivecurls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 271
Default

If he doesn't have the decency to break up with you face to face then he doesn't deserve any more of your time let alone a response. Just be thankful he only wasted 3 months of your time instead of 3 years.
__________________
CG NEWBIE
curl type: 2c/3a on a good day
med/high porosity & high density
hair strand width: med/coarse
BSL hair & growing



GOING STRONG!!! SAY NO TO HEAT!!!
longlivecurls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 02:15 AM   #8
 
BlackAngelPlayah's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,403
Default

Men are terrible..

But an email/letter is easier than looking someone in they eye. It's hard to break up.

But I'm sorry for your pain.
curlypearl and claudine191 like this.
__________________
FroZen
BlackAngelPlayah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 02:49 AM   #9
 
Sayoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 420
Default

If u didn't mention the age I would hv thought hez 15 or something but hmm I don't wanna judge him god only knows what was he thinking..! I would defiantly ignore him n move on , maybe later I would call or reply just for a closure for my sake so I don't leave unfinished business behind. That's it, best of luck.
Sayoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 03:33 AM   #10
 
Curly Sara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 180
Default

I would respond politely and say something like: " thank you for taking time to write this e-mail. I wish you good luck!" No more no less. Prople who dont wish to spend time with you doesnt deserve you either. But i am a fan of always being polite. Then you will never regret on things you have said.
__________________
Hair type/properties:
3c hair, high porosity, mediumdensity, low elasticity, fine hair.

Curly hair routine/regime:
Combine the modified cg-method (low poo) and a modified tightly curly method.
-Condition and leave in: Aubrey Organics, Giovanni Barzilian keratin and argan oil
-Sealer: shea butter, Argan, olive and coconutoil
-Gel: homemade flaxseed gel, Kinky curly custard, Queen Helene Curl royal shaping creme.

Last edited by Curly Sara; 05-17-2013 at 03:53 AM.
Curly Sara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 04:09 AM   #11
 
Spider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 13,912
Default

Ok. First I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. It doesn't sound like there was that much time or experience shared. Nonetheless

I'm not a big "you're a bigger jerk cause you didn't say it to my face" person. Would you feel better if he took you to dinner, told you there ? And then sit there awkwardly or worse feel like you don't want to see his face a minute longer so you leave.

You can sulk in private and now you know it's over. No mixed messages or wishy washy stringing you along. Or worse using you.

Sorry wiregirl!
__________________
Don't let your heart be broken. Let it love.
Spider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 06:46 AM   #12
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 55
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimley13 View Post
Really? 60 ain't no different than 16. Cut your loses and move on. I wouldn't even entertain him with a response.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App
Well said.
curlypearl likes this.
So_Jane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 07:09 AM   #13
 
Jenny C's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 1999
Posts: 4,526
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spider View Post
Ok. First I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. It doesn't sound like there was that much time or experience shared. Nonetheless

I'm not a big "you're a bigger jerk cause you didn't say it to my face" person. Would you feel better if he took you to dinner, told you there ? And then sit there awkwardly or worse feel like you don't want to see his face a minute longer so you leave.

You can sulk in private and now you know it's over. No mixed messages or wishy washy stringing you along. Or worse using you.

Sorry wiregirl!
I kind of agree. Yes e-mail is sort of tacky, but at least he actually broke up with you. There are a lot of guys who can't even do that, so they just disappear - which is really the most cowardly thing a guy can do IMO.

Sorry it didn't work out, but at least you know and you can move forward. I wouldn't bother sending a reply.
__________________
If you got nothing to bring to the table - don't even bother sitting down.
Jenny C is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 07:18 AM   #14
 
LAwoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,945
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spider View Post
Ok. First I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. It doesn't sound like there was that much time or experience shared. Nonetheless

I'm not a big "you're a bigger jerk cause you didn't say it to my face" person. Would you feel better if he took you to dinner, told you there ? And then sit there awkwardly or worse feel like you don't want to see his face a minute longer so you leave.

You can sulk in private and now you know it's over. No mixed messages or wishy washy stringing you along. Or worse using you.

Sorry wiregirl!
This is very insightful, actually, and upon further consideration ITA with spider!

And it's true, some men just pull a "Houdini" when they want to break things off and you never hear from them again. Now, at least, you know. Now, onto bigger and better things! 8-o

eta: My last boyfriend and I ended our 3-year relationship over the phone. He was in St. Louis and I was in DC, so that's just kind of how it went down. In retrospect, it wouldn't have been any better or easier being face-to-face.

Last edited by LAwoman; 05-17-2013 at 08:29 AM.
LAwoman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 07:36 AM   #15
 
LadyV69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,442
Default

Sorry about what happened. I've had guys break up with me over the phone in the past. Breaking up in person is difficult, so using technology is a little easier though it seems cowardly. Like some other people have stated , at least you know where you stand and can move forward, even if did use email. Other guys would've just disappeared.

Sent from my DROID X2 using CurlTalk App
__________________
Fine haired, low density, highly porous curly kinky lady
Last relaxer: Not sure. 3/08 or 4/08
BC'd: 9/18/09
Co-wash: Suave Naturals, HEHH, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle, CJ Daily Fix
Leave-In: KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In, CJ Smoothing Lotion
Stylers: ORS Twist and Loc Gel, KCCC, Ecostyler, SheaMoisture Deep Treatment Masque
Deep Conditioner: DevaCurl Heaven In Hair, CJ Deep Fix

http://confessionsofladyv69.wordpress.com/
LadyV69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 07:50 AM   #16
 
claudine191's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,799
Default

I'm sorry, wiregirl. I've been there......and worse.
claudine191 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 08:43 AM   #17
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,340
Default

I'm sorry this happened to you, Wiregirl. Frankly, I wouldn't waste one second on this guy.

Maybe it wouldn't have been any easier for you in person, but he wasn't thinking of YOUR comfort when he did it by email - he was just being a sniveling, cowardly creep.

He took the easy way out. He didn't "man up." Screw him and move on. You deserve much better.
Wiregirl likes this.
__________________
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Experimenting with cones & sulfates while the dews are high. Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
curlypearl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2013, 09:15 AM   #18
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,117
Default

I'm sorry too... getting dumped sucks, no matter how it happens.

Given that you weren't together long and it doesn't sound as though you spent a ton of time together during those 3 months, I don't share some of the other ladies' outrage over an email break-up. For a longer-term relationship where you spend significant portions of the week together and your lives are more intertwined, then definitely, in-person is more appropriate, IMO. At least his message was honest and respectful, and he doesn't seem like a jerk. I agree with Curly Sara's suggestion of a brief, polite response wishing him well, since it appears he put some thought into his correspondence to you.
Lotsawaves likes this.
__________________
3b/c and outta control
GurlwithCurls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2013, 07:32 AM   #19
 
violets's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,431
Default

Well I am thinking he took the time to write a well thought out email , at least .
He was going to break up with you anyway and he was already distancing himself so at least this put an and to the wait.
There would have been no point to doing it in person. He was direct, to the point and oVerall final.
I am sorry.
violets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2013, 01:21 PM   #20
 
medussa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 20,269
Default

I'm sorry about your breakup. Breaking up with you via email was certainly not ideal, but I'm glad he didn't string you along.
violets likes this.
medussa is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Trending Topics[-]hide

Thread Tools
Display Modes



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:50 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com