I'm totally crushed

Like Tree34Likes

You guys are so amazing! Thank you for being here with me when it seems like nobody else is! It's wonderful to be a part if a group like this
curlypearl and Samanthascurlz like this.
Cowash/Leave in- Suave naturals
RO-GVPCB
Gels- Biotera Styling Gel
SOTC-Biotera Curl Creme
Medium hair with normal porosity
Type 2C/3A
That was a lot for a 16 year old to deal with. Also a lot for you as a friend to try to understand and come to grips with. She sounds like she was vulnerable to begin with and the death of her grandmother and the dumping of her bf probably took her over the edge. That would be a lot for an adult to deal with much less a teenager.

Know that she is getting the help she needs and you only have to let her know that you are there for her. Let her talk if/when she is ready. She may be embarrassed or uncomfortable.

This is just my opinion, but I feel that when a person reaches the point of wanting to take their own life, they are in a selfish mode. They aren't thinking of others. That's why she didn't confide in you. She also may have thought you wouldn't understand. That doesn't mean she doesn't think of you as a friend or value your friendship.
curlypearl likes this.
Lotsa makes a very good point. I remember Fantasia (who won American Idol) saying that when she became suicidal, she wasn't thinking of anyone else. She had become famous, was richer than she had ever dreamed of being, had a baby girl that she loved but was in a terrible depression. I believe that in that state a person is kind of selfish in that he or she is unable to think or care about anything except their own misery. And as Lotsa said, perhaps she thought you wouldn't understand,

I know you wanted to be there for her and you want to help her now. You are a wonderful friend and when she is better, the two of you will again be very close.
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Protein sensitive
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Experimenting with cones & sulfates while the dews are high.
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
Thanks for all your help! I feel a little better, I guess it will take me a little while to get used to the idea of her not being here when I just wanna say hi or tell her that I love her
Cowash/Leave in- Suave naturals
RO-GVPCB
Gels- Biotera Styling Gel
SOTC-Biotera Curl Creme
Medium hair with normal porosity
Type 2C/3A
You can still say hi and tell her that you love her. in fact, you should def do those things


I know a lot of people think suicide is selfish, but i have a slightly different view. Maybe because when my friend did it, and I was that last phone call, I could hear the hurt. When someone is in so much pain that the only way they know to end it is to their life, I don't necessarily see that as selfish. I get that they are only thinking of themselves, but that is an intense about of pain to get a person to reach that point. if it was "physical pain", we would understand
curlypearl likes this.
Sorry to hear this. I partially understand how helpless you feel. Someone once confided in me, also when I was in high school, that she would kill herself if she lost her mother to cancer. She was mad at me for telling the guidance counseler, and to this day I have no idea if what I did was of any help, but it was all I could think to do at the time.

I think the advice given here is excellent.

((((((((hugs)))))))))
You can still say hi and tell her that you love her. in fact, you should def do those things


I know a lot of people think suicide is selfish, but i have a slightly different view. Maybe because when my friend did it, and I was that last phone call, I could hear the hurt. When someone is in so much pain that the only way they know to end it is to their life, I don't necessarily see that as selfish. I get that they are only thinking of themselves, but that is an intense about of pain to get a person to reach that point. if it was "physical pain", we would understand
Originally Posted by scrills
I understand that but darnit! I should be able to be selfish too! She's my best friend and I don't wanna lose her! I know that seems petty, but she's the only friend I really trust and id go crazy if she actually succeeded
Cowash/Leave in- Suave naturals
RO-GVPCB
Gels- Biotera Styling Gel
SOTC-Biotera Curl Creme
Medium hair with normal porosity
Type 2C/3A
How are her parents reacting to this? How are they, in general? Are they kind to her? Did she ever mention that she had tried to talk to them about the issues she's dealing with? Are they the kind of ppl who will be committed to getting her the help she needs or are they the type to want to sweep this incident under the rug to avoid further "embarrassment?"
scrills and curlypearl like this.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Good questions, Spider. She's going to need a lot of support.
curlypearl likes this.
How are her parents reacting to this? How are they, in general? Are they kind to her? Did she ever mention that she had tried to talk to them about the issues she's dealing with? Are they the kind of ppl who will be committed to getting her the help she needs or are they the type to want to sweep this incident under the rug to avoid further "embarrassment?"
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
This sounds awful, but her parents are just stupid. They kicked her out last summer, they always call her fat and her dad hits her. I've offered for her to come live with me or tell somebody, but she doesn't want to leave her younger brothers alone in the house or have them split up do to the foster care system. When her cousin called and eventually took her to the hospital when they found out, her parents asked her cousin if they should ground her for overdosing and trying to kill herself. I definitely think they won't be good for her once she gets home, I think they will ridicule her because they don't understand. I honestly don't think it was them that wanted her to go to the mental hospital. I'm just worried.
Cowash/Leave in- Suave naturals
RO-GVPCB
Gels- Biotera Styling Gel
SOTC-Biotera Curl Creme
Medium hair with normal porosity
Type 2C/3A
Well, if she had of succeeded her brothers would be alone now. Her parents sound like they don't know how to parent. Teenagers can be a handful. I know I raised 2, but that is no excuse to belittle and hit them. It's tough enough being a teenager.
Well, if she had of succeeded her brothers would be alone now. Her parents sound like they don't know how to parent. Teenagers can be a handful. I know I raised 2, but that is no excuse to belittle and hit them. It's tough enough being a teenager.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
I can't imagine having to deal with all of our problems and then dealing with all the grown up problems too! I just hope she gets the help she needs
Cowash/Leave in- Suave naturals
RO-GVPCB
Gels- Biotera Styling Gel
SOTC-Biotera Curl Creme
Medium hair with normal porosity
Type 2C/3A
I have a best friend that I haven't seen in about 15 years and she lives 3 miles away. We've known each other since we were your age, but she had a type of emotional breakdown and will not answer my phone calls, emails, or knocks at her door. I let her know I still think of her, love her, and only want to talk to her and make sure she is ok, but she doesn't want me to see her. I keep trying, even though a lot of people who know me think I am crazy to continue. She will always be my best friend - so I definitely know how you feel. The only way I know she is still alive is that I have checked her mailbox and have seen mail addressed in her handwriting - so I know she still lives in the same rented house. Otherwise, it would be very hard to track her down and I would be checking the obits .
Just keep letting her know you how much you care!
I have a best friend that I haven't seen in about 15 years and she lives 3 miles away. We've known each other since we were your age, but she had a type of emotional breakdown and will not answer my phone calls, emails, or knocks at her door. I let her know I still think of her, love her, and only want to talk to her and make sure she is ok, but she doesn't want me to see her. I keep trying, even though a lot of people who know me think I am crazy to continue. She will always be my best friend - so I definitely know how you feel. The only way I know she is still alive is that I have checked her mailbox and have seen mail addressed in her handwriting - so I know she still lives in the same rented house. Otherwise, it would be very hard to track her down and I would be checking the obits .
Just keep letting her know you how much you care!
Originally Posted by asugirl
That must be so hard I'm so sorry! I do hope I can be as strong as you
scrills likes this.
Cowash/Leave in- Suave naturals
RO-GVPCB
Gels- Biotera Styling Gel
SOTC-Biotera Curl Creme
Medium hair with normal porosity
Type 2C/3A
Thank you! I just always want her to know that someone is still thinking of her - I don't think I will stop until I know something. She has either become totally homebound or she does not associate with anyone from the past. I sometimes become angry that she can't be there to be my friend during this part of our lives, but I know what she is going through is difficult and do not want to cause her any additional pain. All we can do for those we are close to and love is let them know we care about them. Best of luck to you and your bf.
I have a best friend that I haven't seen in about 15 years and she lives 3 miles away. We've known each other since we were your age, but she had a type of emotional breakdown and will not answer my phone calls, emails, or knocks at her door. I let her know I still think of her, love her, and only want to talk to her and make sure she is ok, but she doesn't want me to see her. I keep trying, even though a lot of people who know me think I am crazy to continue. She will always be my best friend - so I definitely know how you feel. The only way I know she is still alive is that I have checked her mailbox and have seen mail addressed in her handwriting - so I know she still lives in the same rented house. Otherwise, it would be very hard to track her down and I would be checking the obits .
Just keep letting her know you how much you care!
Originally Posted by asugirl
This, I think is just really ****ty! It was done to me not that long ago and there is no excuse for it.

Emotional breakdown my ass. And I rarely throw around "selfish" to describe depressed and suicidal ppl. But that type of behavior is just rotten and borderline abusive.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

I have a best friend that I haven't seen in about 15 years and she lives 3 miles away. We've known each other since we were your age, but she had a type of emotional breakdown and will not answer my phone calls, emails, or knocks at her door. I let her know I still think of her, love her, and only want to talk to her and make sure she is ok, but she doesn't want me to see her. I keep trying, even though a lot of people who know me think I am crazy to continue. She will always be my best friend - so I definitely know how you feel. The only way I know she is still alive is that I have checked her mailbox and have seen mail addressed in her handwriting - so I know she still lives in the same rented house. Otherwise, it would be very hard to track her down and I would be checking the obits .
Just keep letting her know you how much you care!
Originally Posted by asugirl
This, I think is just really ****ty! It was done to me not that long ago and there is no excuse for it.

Emotional breakdown my ass. And I rarely throw around "selfish" to describe depressed and suicidal ppl. But that type of behavior is just rotten and borderline abusive.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
This is where I get to when I get angry - like I mentioned in the above post. If I didn't know my friend's past so well and know how messed up it was, I might not feel empathy, but I do and I am somewhat surprised that she is still here.
I have a best friend that I haven't seen in about 15 years and she lives 3 miles away. We've known each other since we were your age, but she had a type of emotional breakdown and will not answer my phone calls, emails, or knocks at her door. I let her know I still think of her, love her, and only want to talk to her and make sure she is ok, but she doesn't want me to see her. I keep trying, even though a lot of people who know me think I am crazy to continue. She will always be my best friend - so I definitely know how you feel. The only way I know she is still alive is that I have checked her mailbox and have seen mail addressed in her handwriting - so I know she still lives in the same rented house. Otherwise, it would be very hard to track her down and I would be checking the obits .
Just keep letting her know you how much you care!
Originally Posted by asugirl
This, I think is just really ****ty! It was done to me not that long ago and there is no excuse for it.

Emotional breakdown my ass. And I rarely throw around "selfish" to describe depressed and suicidal ppl. But that type of behavior is just rotten and borderline abusive.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
This is where I get to when I get angry - like I mentioned in the above post. If I didn't know my friend's past so well and know how messed up it was, I might not feel empathy, but I do and I am somewhat surprised that she is still here.
Originally Posted by asugirl
Well, you know the details and I don't. But I would think even the most disturbed person would occasionally have a somewhat lucid moment and say, "gosh, I feel bad that she is so worried. Let me at least shoot her a text and tell her I'm alive and plugging along."

You are a better friend than I am bc I would have grown too frustrated w/ that crap and left her alone...hmmmmm about two years ago.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


This, I think is just really ****ty! It was done to me not that long ago and there is no excuse for it.

Emotional breakdown my ass. And I rarely throw around "selfish" to describe depressed and suicidal ppl. But that type of behavior is just rotten and borderline abusive.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
This is where I get to when I get angry - like I mentioned in the above post. If I didn't know my friend's past so well and know how messed up it was, I might not feel empathy, but I do and I am somewhat surprised that she is still here.
Originally Posted by asugirl
Well, you know the details and I don't. But I would think even the most disturbed person would occasionally have a somewhat lucid moment and say, "gosh, I feel bad that she is so worried. Let me at least shoot her a text and tell her I'm alive and plugging along."

You are a better friend than I am bc I would have grown too frustrated w/ that crap and left her alone...hmmmmm about two years ago.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
I definitely get to that sometimes, but after awhile something reminds me of all the good times and I try. What can I say...
You guys are amazing, I know I say that a lot, but nobody else knows what to say to help so I've been just all alone in this except for you guys.
Samanthascurlz likes this.
Cowash/Leave in- Suave naturals
RO-GVPCB
Gels- Biotera Styling Gel
SOTC-Biotera Curl Creme
Medium hair with normal porosity
Type 2C/3A

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:55 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com