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someonestakara 07-05-2013 03:13 PM

I'm totally crushed
 
I just found out yesterday that my best friend attempted suicide. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost and I haven't stopped crying every waking moment.

spiderlashes5000 07-05-2013 03:29 PM

I'm sorry!

Urge her to seek professional counseling. If you know what insurance plan she has, try to do some of the legwork for her and find a few clinicians who are in her network and are located near her home or job. Also get her the toll free number of the suicide hotline that serves her geographic area for high crisis times when the professional isn't available and she doesn't want to talk to friends/family.

Just try to be a good friend and remind her of how important she is in your life and that what she is going thru is only temporary.

Do you know what the issues are? Just general depression? Or did something recently happen? Does she abuse drugs or alcohol?

scrills 07-05-2013 04:30 PM

Im so sorry you and your friend are going through this. I have a friend who completed the act. Its tough.

Be careful to
1 not make her feel guilty, bad, weak, selfish, etc.

2 make her feel loved

3 take this very seriuos

If there is anything i can do to help

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curlypearl 07-05-2013 05:16 PM

I'm so very sorry. That is a dreadful experience for you to go through. It happened to me also. My best friend jumped out a 3-story window, survived, and then attempted asphyxiation in a car. Years later, she died of breast cancer.

You got excellent advice already so I am going to address something a little different. I have to admit although I was terribly upset when she attempted suicide, one of my emotions was anger. You may experience many emotions besides pain and grief. Be loving and gentle to yourself as much as possible. We are hear for you and sympathize. {{{Someonestakara}}}

someonestakara 07-05-2013 05:42 PM

She's in the regional mental hospital right now. She's had a lot of problems with bulimia in the past, plus her grandmother died and her boyfriend of almost two years broke up with her.

someonestakara 07-05-2013 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curlypearl (Post 2187693)
I'm so very sorry. That is a dreadful experience for you to go through. It happened to me also. My best friend jumped out a 3-story window, survived, and then attempted asphyxiation in a car. Years later, she died of breast cancer.

You got excellent advice already so I am going to address something a little different. I have to admit although I was terribly upset when she attempted suicide, one of my emotions was anger. You may experience many emotions besides pain and grief. Be loving and gentle to yourself as much as possible. We are hear for you and sympathize. {{{Someonestakara}}}

Thanks! I understand what you mean about anger, I was so angry that she didn't talked to me about it, because after everything that happened I always told her I was there for her and that I loved her. I also feel like I should have and could have done more to help her. I feel guilty for feeling like this too.

curlypearl 07-05-2013 06:02 PM

I understand. Just so sorry. I don't have any words of wisdom, but I understand how you feel and I've been there.

someonestakara 07-05-2013 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curlypearl (Post 2187705)
I understand. Just so sorry. I don't have any words of wisdom, but I understand how you feel and I've been there.

I think, in all honesty, that's all I can ask for. I mean she's just 16 and she's my best friend and I don't know what I'd do without her.

Samanthascurlz 07-05-2013 08:11 PM

I think you are an amazing friend for caring for her. Being there and trying your best to help her is what you can do :icon_smile:

someonestakara 07-05-2013 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samanthascurlz (Post 2187753)
I think you are an amazing friend for caring for her. Being there and trying your best to help her is what you can do :icon_smile:

Thanks:) I just hope ill be able to see we when she gets back, or if she'll even wanna see me. What do I say?

Samanthascurlz 07-05-2013 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by someonestakara (Post 2187754)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Samanthascurlz (Post 2187753)
I think you are an amazing friend for caring for her. Being there and trying your best to help her is what you can do :icon_smile:

Thanks:) I just hope ill be able to see we when she gets back, or if she'll even wanna see me. What do I say?

I don't think you should jump right in from where the situation is. What I mean is, don't be too inquisitive as to why she attempted it (not saying you would be I am just being general). Literally, just talk to her. Speak to her as you normally would. From there you can see how she is currently feeling and what you can do to assist her. This is very complicated, so don't ever feel like you aren't doing enough. You are doing a courageous and real friend act. :)

someonestakara 07-05-2013 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samanthascurlz (Post 2187756)
Quote:

Originally Posted by someonestakara (Post 2187754)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Samanthascurlz (Post 2187753)
I think you are an amazing friend for caring for her. Being there and trying your best to help her is what you can do :icon_smile:

Thanks:) I just hope ill be able to see we when she gets back, or if she'll even wanna see me. What do I say?

I don't think you should jump right in from where the situation is. What I mean is, don't be too inquisitive as to why she attempted it (not saying you would be I am just being general). Literally, just talk to her. Speak to her as you normally would. From there you can see how she is currently feeling and what you can do to assist her. This is very complicated, so don't ever feel like you aren't doing enough. You are doing a courageous and real friend act. :)

I mean I do wanna know why, but I know she'll tell me when she's ready. Thanks for the confidence boost! I just wish I knew what do to, but everyone's being a wonderful help! :)

Samanthascurlz 07-05-2013 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by someonestakara (Post 2187766)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Samanthascurlz (Post 2187756)
Quote:

Originally Posted by someonestakara (Post 2187754)

Thanks:) I just hope ill be able to see we when she gets back, or if she'll even wanna see me. What do I say?

I don't think you should jump right in from where the situation is. What I mean is, don't be too inquisitive as to why she attempted it (not saying you would be I am just being general). Literally, just talk to her. Speak to her as you normally would. From there you can see how she is currently feeling and what you can do to assist her. This is very complicated, so don't ever feel like you aren't doing enough. You are doing a courageous and real friend act. :)

I mean I do wanna know why, but I know she'll tell me when she's ready. Thanks for the confidence boost! I just wish I knew what do to, but everyone's being a wonderful help! :)

Of course you do! You are her friend and want to jump in her head! But remember, I am sure she is asked A LOT! So let her know that she can let you know when she is ready.

someonestakara 07-05-2013 10:47 PM

I guess the bad thing is this whole situation has made me terribly depressed but I have no idea what to say when I do call.

Samanthascurlz 07-05-2013 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by someonestakara (Post 2187782)
I guess the bad thing is this whole situation has made me terribly depressed but I have no idea what to say when I do call.

tell your friend how much you miss her and how much she means to you.

Purplecurls17 07-05-2013 11:28 PM

First of all, I send large amounts of ((HUGS))
These ladies have given you lots of excellent advice. There have been two attempted suicides in my family. One being my own mother and one was my cousin. My cousin opened up to me about it and said that the reason he did not go through with it was because he imagined his daughter's life without a father and that kept him from doing the act.
Your friend needs someone there through all the anger, and sadness.Someone she can depend on to be there when life gets tough, everyone needs that one person that they can go to without judgment and you sound like that person. The best thing that you can do is listen when she needs it and be there so she doesn't feel alone.
I pray for a speedy recovery for your friend <3 You sound like a terrific best friend :)

someonestakara 07-05-2013 11:29 PM

Thanks so much samanthacurlz!(:

scrills 07-06-2013 03:49 AM

When i visited a friend after an attempt, i tried to get him to amswer his survey questions are erractic as possible. We both have sick sense of humor so it was funny and it took the pressure off.

I didnt ask him about what happened. I am as nosey as the next person, but remember her wellness is priority right now, so i would wait to ask.

(they made him do these test in order to gauge his mood. It was the same questions over and over again, just reworded).

Its ok for you to have your own feeelings aboit what happened. Uay just have to find someone else to discuss them with right now



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curlypearl 07-06-2013 05:55 AM

I think the replies and advice here are very wise and caring.

Purplecurls, my mom also attempted suicide several times and would have succeeded except for being found in time and just by accident. My heart goes out to you.

Julesonline 07-06-2013 07:40 AM

Be constant and present with her. I know this is very tough for u and her. I empathize with you. As she has been admitted to an inpatient facility, know that she'll get the help and supervision she needs right now to help her through this crisis. What you could do is find out when the visitor hours are and then find out if she is feeling up to seeing anyone yet. If she is, go and sit with her and be present. Sometimes just sitting quietly with someone in a crisis is enough. I would not press her for reasons etc, at this point. Let the professionals work with her on that, eventually she may open up with you. Tell her that you love her and that you are there for her. Often in the milieu, there are activities such as puzzles and coloring. You could see if she'd like to partake in one of those with her.


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