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Old 08-26-2013, 12:32 PM   #21
 
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I agree with everyone. It's not your place to work it out with her...it's the apartment complex. I would not approach her nor let her approach you if possible.

I didn't want you to have to move. It was just a thought for your safety. Don't want anything to happen to Lotsa!
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Old 08-26-2013, 12:34 PM   #22
 
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Thanks, inheritedcurls.
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Old 08-26-2013, 12:35 PM   #23
 
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I don't think my telling her I'm not doing it will increase her paranoia. I'm not doing it, so of course I'm going to tell her I'm not. What else was I suppose to say when she accused me of it? She was the one to approach Jim. If I had of heard about it from the office and they said they would take care of it, I never would have talked to her.

My friend at the office suggested I let her look around my apartment so she can see I don't have anything there that would zap her. I told her I wasn't comfortable with that and that I don't feel I need to prove anything to her. If this is a mental illness I don't think even that would satisfy her. It is the office responsibility to take care of this, not mine.
Don't let her into your apt, don't engage her further and don't try to prove your innocence to her.

(She's not rational so rational explantions won't work.)
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Old 08-26-2013, 04:31 PM   #24
 
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She's nuts and that's sad, but her paranoia is not your problem.

I agree completely with Spider's post above mine. Stay away. If you have a decent police department, they should handle it by referring her to a local mental health center.
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Old 08-26-2013, 05:13 PM   #25
 
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I've decided that if the apartment complex doesn't do something or if she approaches me again with this nonsense then I will call the non emergency number for the police and at least find out what I can do. I do like the idea of having the complex call one of her relatives to find out if there is a mental condition. The tenants here shouldn't feel unsafe. Jim is out of town a lot. He's leaving next Tuesday and won't be home until late Friday night. It's going to be a long week.
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Old 08-26-2013, 05:44 PM   #26
 
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Yea, I'd try to discretely find out if she has family that might get her to doctor.
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Old 08-26-2013, 05:46 PM   #27
 
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Don't let her into your apt, don't engage her further and don't try to prove your innocence to her.

(She's not rational so rational explantions won't work.)

This. The poor woman clearly has some mental issue. Don't talk to her. If she approaches you and you feel threatened, call the police.

It's unlikely that the apartment management has a family contact number on file, but it's worth a try to ask. Whatever is wrong with this woman, it sounds like she went off her medication or needs it adjusted.
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Old 08-26-2013, 05:59 PM   #28
 
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I know at my complex they require an emergency contact, so there is probably someone on file. If she is off her medication, then it's been a long time, because she has been thinking I'm the caus for over a year and was going thru the tasering feeling even before then in another apt here. So I don't know for how long exactly.

I just can't believe this is happening. I don't get involved with my neighbors and keep a low profile. I've never been one to be home much on the weekends and I'm at work all week. I didn't even know this woman lived here. The 1st time I saw her was a week ago when she was walking up her stairs.
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:53 PM   #29
 
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Geez. This makes my neighbor who created his own religion (involving beautiful "boy angels") look quite sane in comparison.
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:16 PM   #30
 
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I think you're taking the right approach - just don't engage with her. Paranoia that is that long-standing is obviously deep-seated and nothing you, or the management , do or say will make any difference. Sadly, medication is the only thing that's likely to help her.
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Old 08-27-2013, 05:06 AM   #31
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Don't take it personally, lotsa. This has nothing to do with you. She's probably had this problem for many years and will have it long after she leaves the apartment. Hopefully, she'll leave you alone and she'll get some help.

Another thought is that the complex, or you if your present for some weird episode, can call mobile crisis. Even if they don't come out, they give advice for these sort of things and they might have a history with her.
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:32 AM   #32
 
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Her family isn't necessarily going to provide assistance, unfortunately. This is truly a public safety issue, in my opinion.

I don't like the complex's "hands off" perspective.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:17 AM   #33
 
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I don't like the "hands off" perspective either. I think they could have at least let me know of this woman's accusations against me. I should have been made aware of this at the time. Not me having to contact them after she approached Jim. They weren't able to determine anything in her apartment that could be causing the problem and knew it wasn't me, so they were trying to determine if it was a mental issue. That would be fine if it didn't concern me. Not really knowing her mental state they/us have no idea what she may do. She was pretty upset when I talked to her. She told me she couldn't take it anymore. I'm going to call the office again next Monday and find out if they are doing anything to get her moved. I don't want them to sweep this under the rug. I was nervous walking out to my car this morning and had Jim walk me out. I shouldn't have to live like this. I may be exaggerating this in my mind, but I feel I need to be cautious. I wish Jim didn't have to go out of town.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:47 AM   #34
 
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She may be schitzophrenic or bipolar. Both conditions can involve paranoia and delusions You are right to not encourage her delusion.

I would go ahead and make a police report on the woman's accusation that way you have it on record should anything else happen. Mention that you are in fear for your safety... what if this woman were to act on the paranoid delusion that you are harming her, and try to hurt you? She may seem harmless but mental illness is nothing to take lightly. Believe me I know. The police may visit her and get her psychiatric care.

I don't know where you are but here in the United states we can do involuntary psychiatric admissions if a person is deemed to be at risk for harming themselves or others. Not saying that this woman is, but having a police report and proper documentation will help protect you if things get worse.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:59 AM   #35
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves View Post
I don't like the "hands off" perspective either. I think they could have at least let me know of this woman's accusations against me. I should have been made aware of this at the time. Not me having to contact them after she approached Jim. They weren't able to determine anything in her apartment that could be causing the problem and knew it wasn't me, so they were trying to determine if it was a mental issue. That would be fine if it didn't concern me. Not really knowing her mental state they/us have no idea what she may do. She was pretty upset when I talked to her. She told me she couldn't take it anymore. I'm going to call the office again next Monday and find out if they are doing anything to get her moved. I don't want them to sweep this under the rug. I was nervous walking out to my car this morning and had Jim walk me out. I shouldn't have to live like this. I may be exaggerating this in my mind, but I feel I need to be cautious. I wish Jim didn't have to go out of town.
I've found apt complexes to typically be very hands off and unresponsive. They don't want to get involved. I think they assume the tenants will either "work it out" (often badly) or call the police.


I probably wouldn't call the police yet. But I would ignore her like she wasn't there and tell her to take that mess somewhere else if she tries talking to you about it again. But if you really feel unsafe, you should call the nonemergency police.
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:03 AM   #36
 
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I really don't want to file a police report, yet. It's not like she's done anything to me. Someone visiting her questioning her mental state could actually escalate the situation. IDK. I've never had to deal with something/someone like this before.
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:07 AM   #37
 
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I really don't want to file a police report, yet. It's not like she's done anything to me. Someone visiting her questioning her mental state could actually escalate the situation. IDK. I've never had to deal with something/someone like this before.
Yes, I agree it's premature to call them now. But if you did, it's not like they would arrest her or file charges. They would just talk to her and warn her to leave you alone. And you could get some documentation, w/o her even knowing that they wrote up the incident.
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Old 08-27-2013, 12:37 PM   #38
 
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I am so sorry you are going through this. My brother has schizophrenia, and even on medication he still has these kinds of delusions. I would not be surprised if this woman's family is already aware that this is happening to you. When my brother lived on his own in an apartment, I would spend long hours on the phone trying to convince him that what he was hearing/believing in his complex were delusions, but he refused to believe it. Things finally changed when he called the police to report his upstairs neighbor murdering his wife, which was a delusion. After the cops came, they sat him down and told him if he didn't go to the doctor and gets his meds adjusted, he would be arrested the next time he made such a phone call (it even made the local paper.) After that, my parents moved him back in with them, but he continues to have delusions about the people in his complex. It is scary because when he is unmedicated, he is violent and will act on his delusions. When he is medicated, he will still have them but will not act on them.

I would stay far, far away from this woman. I would also think twice about contacting the building office again, as they don't seem to know what to do and could potentially escalate a situation. If this woman has any contact with you or your boyfriend in the future, I would definitely call the police.

Sadly there isn't much else you can do... I really feel for you. My brother was perseverating on a little boy in his building at one point, and I was so upset I called his psychiatrist for help. His psychiatrist didn't phone me back, and instead TOLD MY BROTHER that I had called, and said that as a health care professional I should know about privacy laws and that he can't and won't talk to me. My brother was furious (at me), and so was I (at his idiot doctor).
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Old 08-27-2013, 12:55 PM   #39
 
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So Jim and I recently moved into another apartment in the same apartment complex. Imagine a square divided into 4 sections. I use to live in the apartment on the far right (front) and moved to the far left (back). There are apartments above each of the 4 lower apartments. Anyway, the neighbor above my new place stopped Jim outside yesterday to ask if she had ever done anything to make me mad. He said no that I didn't even know her. She went on to tell him that for the last 1 1/2 years (the length she has lived in her apartment) I have been zapping her. She said it's like a taser I'm using on her at a distance. She said I started doing this in my old apartment.

When Jim told me I went upstairs to talk to her. She was almost in tears as she told me that I was driving her crazy with my tasering. She said she has been to the emergency room several times. She also said she has had to sleep on her patio and in her car some nights to get away from me. She said she has hired an attorney and a forensic specialist to find out what I am using on her.

I tried to convince her that I'm not doing anything, but not sure if I convinced her. She told me she had talked to the office a year ago and they said they talked to me about this. They didn't and I went to the office yesterday to talk to them, but they were swamped. I'll go by there again today. I'm a little afraid of this woman.
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Old 08-27-2013, 12:57 PM   #40
 
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Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
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