My Son In Law Attempted Suicide...

Like Tree314Likes

Thanks CC. I do too.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
She came home last night. Not sure if she will stay until she can get checked into a facility. She is still on the waiting list. She isn't talking to me so I'm getting the info from her husband.

Just to be more clear. I'm not the onlyone involved in this. Her best friend and her mom and sister, plus the next door neighbors (who are very close friends) are helping me monitor the situation. We would not let any harm come to the children.

CPS may give the kids to a family member, but there is no one here, but me and I can't take them on. I work from 6:30am to 6 or 6pm Monday thru Thursday. This doesn't coincide with their school schedule. This could jeopardize my job if I took time out. I know that may sound selfish of me, but I already told my son in law that I was not going to lose my job over their irresponsibility.

I really do appreciate everyone's support thru this. It's hard to air private, personal things here, but it really does help to get some insight and support. Thx.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
I am deeply sorry this is happening to your family, but I don't think it's fair to dismiss this as irresponsibility. Addiction is a disorder of mental health, severe depression is a disorder of mental health, anxiety is a disorder of mental health, these adults are both ill and they have been suffering at the same time, making recovery more difficult. There isn't fundamentally any difference between mental and physical health problems, genetics and chemical imbalances in the brain are a very real part of all three disorders.

It seems both have tried to seek help - your daughter is on a waiting list for treatment, your son in law has been prescribed a benzodiazepine (Xanax). It's unfortunate he was given something addictive that can cause rebound anxiety instead of a low dose beta blocker, but he wasn't to know.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect
She came home last night. Not sure if she will stay until she can get checked into a facility. She is still on the waiting list. She isn't talking to me so I'm getting the info from her husband.

Just to be more clear. I'm not the onlyone involved in this. Her best friend and her mom and sister, plus the next door neighbors (who are very close friends) are helping me monitor the situation. We would not let any harm come to the children.

CPS may give the kids to a family member, but there is no one here, but me and I can't take them on. I work from 6:30am to 6 or 6pm Monday thru Thursday. This doesn't coincide with their school schedule. This could jeopardize my job if I took time out. I know that may sound selfish of me, but I already told my son in law that I was not going to lose my job over their irresponsibility.

I really do appreciate everyone's support thru this. It's hard to air private, personal things here, but it really does help to get some insight and support. Thx.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
I am deeply sorry this is happening to your family, but I don't think it's fair to dismiss this as irresponsibility. Addiction is a disorder of mental health, severe depression is a disorder of mental health, anxiety is a disorder of mental health, these adults are both ill and they have been suffering at the same time, making recovery more difficult. There isn't fundamentally any difference between mental and physical health problems, genetics and chemical imbalances in the brain are a very real part of all three disorders.

It seems both have tried to seek help - your daughter is on a waiting list for treatment, your son in law has been prescribed a benzodiazepine (Xanax). It's unfortunate he was given something addictive that can cause rebound anxiety instead of a low dose beta blocker, but he wasn't to know.
Originally Posted by Firefox7275

ITA that these are brain disorders and not to be taken lightly. But the husband's attitude just galls me - staging a suicide attempt when he has impressionable children who could find out, blaming his wife for his problems and blaming lotsa for not doing more? grrr Some ppl make it very hard to want to be charitable.

But you're right.
scrills and Starmie like this.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Ugh. I'm sorry this is going on, lotsa... For everyone involved. I can't imagine what you're going through...

If he's suicidal or sick enough to use suicide as manipulation I'm not sure he's healthy enough to parent. God forbid he does it again while the kids are home...

Would your son-in-law's siblings take the kids for a while or come visit?
scrills likes this.
3c/4a
Criminy, Lotsa! That's so much to deal with! I'm sorry to hear it.
scrills likes this.
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
Sorry you are having to deal with all of this. Hugs to you and yours.
rouquinne and scrills like this.
In Western PA
Found NC in 2004. CG since 2-05, going grey since 9-05. 3B with some 3A.
Hair texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
Suave & VO5 cond, LA Looks Sport Gel, oils, honey, vinegar.
http://public.fotki.com/jeepcurlygurl/ password jeepy **updated Aug 2014**
https://www.facebook.com/lifetheuniverseandtodd
ITA that these are brain disorders and not to be taken lightly. But the husband's attitude just galls me - staging a suicide attempt when he has impressionable children who could find out, blaming his wife for his problems and blaming lotsa for not doing more? grrr Some ppl make it very hard to want to be charitable.

But you're right.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Did the husband 'stage' a suicide attempt or blame others? It's the daughter who initially reported on that: addicts are well known for being less than truthful, even highly manipulative in some cases. The husband is also on a benzodiazepine, frankly they are not very nice drugs and thus access is heavily restricted here the UK.

It must be pretty tough for some men not being able to provide financially for their family, almost losing their home, their wife overspending on her addiction. I can't even begin to explain how twisted the thought processes of severe clinical depression are, yet how reasonable and rational they seem at the time. Then there is the anxiety ....

A huge proportion of physical health problems in the west are caused by or contributed to by poor lifestyle choices, if you are not charitable to them you'd pretty much have to be mean to almost everyone with cancer, cardiovascular disease, obesity, diabetes, many respiratory disorders and so on. Even pregnancy is self inflicted!

Working in lifestyle healthcare I very rarely see anyone who consistently hits all the minimum/ maximum health targets (diet, physical activity, weight, smoking, drinking). And there are an awful lot of people hit by the recession who have made very poor financial decisions, haven't budgeted or saved. I still feel for the entire family.
roseannadana likes this.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect
Firefox, I am helping as are others. I'm just not going to allow either of them to make excuses or blame others for their actions. They, especially my daughter, made the choices.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
Firefox, I am helping as are others. I'm just not going to allow either of them to make excuses or blame others for their actions. They, especially my daughter, made the choices.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
They made the choices but the children are suffering. Please make sure you are not letting "I'm just not going to allow either of them to make excuses or blame others" get in the way of doing what needs to be done in the best interest of two innocent kids.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
Geeky, we are all thinking of the best interest of the children, especially me.

ETA: She is home now. I haven't talked to her, but her husband said she is fine.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."

Last edited by Lotsawaves; 09-04-2013 at 04:22 PM.
I get that you can not lose your job, Lotsa. What help could you be to someone else if you end up in a position where you have a hard time helping yourself? I am also glad others are monitoring the situation.

While drug addiction is an illness, you can not remove responsibility or accountability for their decisions. In order to recover, that has to be noted, admitted and explored. You can not chalk it all up to, "I/you wasn't/were not in my/your normal state" and treat them like a rare flower. Facing it is an incredibly important part. It's sadly also never going to happen until they are ready to open their eyes. You can't force it, but I know I have wished I could on more than one occasion. Sometimes you do have to toughen up, for your own sake. I do get that.

I hope your daughter gets worked in quickly, Lotsa.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

Thanks, Fifi. This has been so hard. She won't talk to any of us who are trying to help. I just hope she gets in for treatment very soon. I'm probably doing everything wrong. I wish Jim was here. This is so frightening. I feel like a lousy mother.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
Thanks, Fifi. This has been so hard. She won't talk to any of us who are trying to help. I just hope she gets in for treatment very soon. I'm probably doing everything wrong. I wish Jim was here. This is so frightening. I feel like a lousy mother.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
(((Lotsa))) I am really sorry you are going through this. I couldn't and wouldn't say you are doing everything wrong. You can't care for the kids while at work. That's a fact, and I in that situation I would be worried about them being placed in foster care as well. What would that do? And sometimes it is not the best option. It's an incredibly tough situation, but I am glad so many people are keeping an eye on them. That is a blessing. All you can do is what you feel is right.

I'm also sorry your daughter will not talk to you right now. It's often common for an addict to deflect and place blame for their actions on someone else. I also would not doubt that they want someone to allow them to party before... I had more than one very close friend in this situation when I was growing up. I loved them, I helped every way I could, and I almost went down with them. I had to step back, for my own good, and it was hard. BUT I don't know what would have happened to me if i didn't.

I'll be saying a million prayers that this works out, that they will open their eyes, and sincerely be ready for help. They need to do it for everyone.
Lotsawaves and scrills like this.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

I just got a text from my SIL that my daughter is going in for treatment tomorrow. I'm sitting here at working wishing I could cry. I'm happy she is going and I'm worried because I know this is going to be hard for her. I told my SIL I will be here for him and we just need to do whatever to get her well and take care of the kids. I also told him to tell her I love her very much. It's killing me that she won't talk to me. Hopefully, once she is "clean" she will see that I do love her and I'm here for her.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
I just got a text from my SIL that my daughter is going in for treatment tomorrow. I'm sitting here at working wishing I could cry. I'm happy she is going and I'm worried because I know this is going to be hard for her. I told my SIL I will be here for him and we just need to do whatever to get her well and take care of the kids. I also told him to tell her I love her very much. It's killing me that she won't talk to me. Hopefully, once she is "clean" she will see that I do love her and I'm here for her.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
Yes, I hope so!

Well, this is good news.
scrills likes this.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Is it in-patient treatment or intensive outpatient?
Does she think her employer will hold her job for her?
scrills likes this.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

It's in-patient and she isn't working. It's in Prescott, so not local. She could be there for a month. Don't know yet. Once she is done then I think hubby needs help and then they both need counselling. She tried the outpatient becuz hubby didn't want to take care of the kids on his own. She was showing up high on coke and marijuana, so that didn't last.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
I just got a text from my SIL that my daughter is going in for treatment tomorrow. I'm sitting here at working wishing I could cry. I'm happy she is going and I'm worried because I know this is going to be hard for her. I told my SIL I will be here for him and we just need to do whatever to get her well and take care of the kids. I also told him to tell her I love her very much. It's killing me that she won't talk to me. Hopefully, once she is "clean" she will see that I do love her and I'm here for her.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
This is fantastic news!
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

Glad to hear she's getting into rehab so quickly, I hope all goes well and they can all get back on track.
3b in South Australia.
She ended up going to a place in Mesa which is closer. She called me yesterday on the way and we had a good talk. She knows I'm here for her and her family. Lots of crying....We can have no contact with her for the 1st week. That's so hard not knowing if she is OK. I was with the SIL and grandchildren last night. Had dinner and helped with their showers. My granddaughter kept hanging onto me as I was trying to leave. Of course, I brought her home. My daughter told me that it will probably be hardest for her and asked that I be there for her. We had a good time together last night. I think she is taking home 1/2 my make-up. I'm waiting for her to wake up this morning and we will make breakfast together. My grandson was so sweet when I was leaving. Here's our conversation...Nick "Nana, you are kind of like my mama, too." Me "That's the way grandmothers are." Nick "Can you be my mama until she gets back home?" Me "Of course!"Jim was suppose to be here last night, but his flight was delayed. He'll be in this morning. He will just have to understand that my family needs me right now and either he's here or he isn't. My daughter may be gone for a month! Fortunately, after the 1st week we can visit. I pray to God everyday that we will all be strong and get thru this.

ETA: The place does counselling afterwards for the whole family. I think it would be best that we all go.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."

Last edited by Lotsawaves; 09-07-2013 at 07:59 AM.

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:03 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com