Instagram/Facebook = Jealousy/Anger

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencete...otos-post.html

Interesting topic. How many of you would say this is true? I have, while searching for something completey different, came across several blogs from the younger generations that share this sentiment. I can't say that I do, because my FB friends are people I have known the majority of my life. We didn't have any of these sites, so we were out spending time together. I am always happy for them when they get married, have a child, are finally able to buy that house at 40 because I know they have worked non stop for it. This is not saying that people do not get on my nerves, or I have not felt a twinge of the green eyed monster when dealing with an ex. That's a natural thing on or off the web. I just know that a picture can't tell you everything. I do not use Instagram so I can not comment on that. I did join, look around, admire some fantastic photographs, and deleted my account. I really did not see myself using it frequently because I prefer to share with those I know. I am just curious as to what it may feel like to those growing up in the "information age".

PS- Even if you did not grow up in the time of FB or Instagram feel free to comment on them. I'm sure you know that, but I'm saying it anyway.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 09-23-2013 at 10:16 PM.
One more, with several linked studies, because there have been many.

http://mobile.theverge.com/2013/8/22...he-internet-is

This one actually has some more interesting points when looking at peoples behaviors on line. I still find it a little amusing that this guy is working so hard to prove FB is a scape goat. I'd say they have done these studies, on facebook, based on it's popularity, comments and from several other sources with peoples feelings on the matter.

Instagram/Facebook = Jealousy/Anger-imageuploadedbycurltalk1379997291.093677.jpg
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

I think immature folks(and age is not a factor here) may brag and like on fb, but they are probably like that in real life. People like this always existed but now that we are all connected and data is shared instantly, things get amplified. Im okay with that brcause there is a lot of good info and accountability more now than ever because of technology. As for me, I dont take fb seriously and enjoy posting when im happy and seeing it from friends.
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If ppl feel depressed and jealous just bc they see their friends happy...they are just miserable ppl IMO.
Josephine, scrills and LadyV69 like this.
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I've read several article along these lines, often tied to "The Fear of Missing Out " (FOMO) - I know people that this is true for, that they see the awesome photos posted all of the time and get sad that their lives are not as awesome as that - that is NOT saying that they begrudge someone else their happiness, it's more of "wow, I wish my life was that awesome"

I have another friend who constantly updates fb with things in her life and (to me) it sounds as if she's desperate for people to envy her life (i.e. feel FOMO based on how awesome she has it). I've known her a long time and her "my life is so awesome" posts sound much more like "my life is really not great, but i want everyone to think it's awesome" (like she needs the outside validation)

I haven't read all of this article , but it's about FOMO
FOMO Addiction: The Fear of Missing Out | World of Psychology
Modified CG since Dec 2011
I think immature folks(and age is not a factor here) may brag and like on fb, but they are probably like that in real life. People like this always existed but now that we are all connected and data is shared instantly, things get amplified. Im okay with that brcause there is a lot of good info and accountability more now than ever because of technology. As for me, I dont take fb seriously and enjoy posting when im happy and seeing it from friends.
Originally Posted by Josephine
Some older and immature people are out there as well, and always will be, and I agree that things get amplified on line. You're missing that personal connection and being able to see a goofy or large smile, how happy they look, or a happy dance following their achievement. A happy dance meme is just not the same. There is a big difference between being excited about (any number of things) and non stop bragging about nothing. Like Perri says, I think some do that to put forth a good image. It's easy to do behind a screen. If you know them, you know whats going on there too.

Curious though, what do you mean about more accountability? Just curious because to me there is much less accountability, but it also depends on the context.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 09-24-2013 at 10:31 AM.
If ppl feel depressed and jealous just bc they see their friends happy...they are just miserable ppl IMO.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
For the most part, I relate, when it comes to the people you know. They might be excited over a new car, and they might cuss somebody the next day. I think some people get into trouble when they accept 2359 FB friends and know none of them. Especially when they are/were younger. Everyone I know under 16 posts "I hate my life" non stop. They are constantly comparing themselves to other people they do not know, and that's the sad norm for them (because no one is monitoring). I've wondered if the most popular shows with younger viewers, for several years, have had something to do with this as well. Basically any reality show where you try to out do someone or sit around wishing you lived like ... person. ETA: Trends that have found their way into real life. There seems to be a loss when it comes to being happy with yourself or being happy for someone else.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 09-24-2013 at 10:33 AM.
I've read several article along these lines, often tied to "The Fear of Missing Out " (FOMO) - I know people that this is true for, that they see the awesome photos posted all of the time and get sad that their lives are not as awesome as that - that is NOT saying that they begrudge someone else their happiness, it's more of "wow, I wish my life was that awesome"

I have another friend who constantly updates fb with things in her life and (to me) it sounds as if she's desperate for people to envy her life (i.e. feel FOMO based on how awesome she has it). I've known her a long time and her "my life is so awesome" posts sound much more like "my life is really not great, but i want everyone to think it's awesome" (like she needs the outside validation)

I haven't read all of this article , but it's about FOMO
FOMO Addiction: The Fear of Missing Out | World of Psychology
Originally Posted by PerriP
Thank you for posting this. I will read it. FB does seem to translate into a place for validation, for a few, who are not quite sure how to handle it. You're supposed to share, but we don't always have anything to share and some try to hard to show/be something they are not. It's an easy place to do it. No one can see the really real.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

and, well, most people (!!) won't post "my husband beat me up last night and I was in the hospital" but instead "my husband bought me this great gift"

I have one friend (she's 44) who honestly knows the exact number of friends she has and checks to see if anyone has unfriended her - and then spins up on why they might have done that. I find it very sad. I'm not one to have thousands of friends, but I have no idea the actual number. To me, that's very high school ("am I accepted by the cool kids?? who doesn't want to be my friend??")
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While I am sure several of my friends/family will stay on FB, from what I gather it's about dead in the water. According to the NKOTB that is. Not sure how I feel about kids on Tumblr, but I'm an old interwebs foggie who thinks it's 75% effed up.

Don't you hate it when they cancel your favorite show?
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 09-24-2013 at 10:41 AM.
If ppl feel depressed and jealous just bc they see their friends happy...they are just miserable ppl IMO.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
For the most part, I relate, when it comes to the people you know. They might be excited over a new car, and they might cuss somebody the next day. I think some people get into trouble when they accept 2359 FB friends and know none of them. Especially when they are/were younger. Everyone I know under 16 posts "I hate my life" non stop. They are constantly comparing themselves to other people they do not know, and that's the sad norm for them (because no one is monitoring). I've wondered if the most popular shows with younger viewers, for several years, have had something to do with this as well. Basically any reality show where you try to out do someone or sit around wishing you lived like ... person. There seems to be a loss when it comes to being happy with yourself or being happy for someone else.
Originally Posted by Fifi.G
But why would any of this cause you to become depressed and angry from simply looking at pictures?

I don't have any FB friends who are under the age of 16. But when my kids are teenagers, I would like to think I have their PWs and am monitoring their activity. I guess a lot of kids w/ depression and suicidal ideation use these platforms as a cry for help and no one takes them seriously.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

and, well, most people (!!) won't post "my husband beat me up last night and I was in the hospital" but instead "my husband bought me this great gift"

I have one friend (she's 44) who honestly knows the exact number of friends she has and checks to see if anyone has unfriended her - and then spins up on why they might have done that. I find it very sad. I'm not one to have thousands of friends, but I have no idea the actual number. To me, that's very high school ("am I accepted by the cool kids?? who doesn't want to be my friend??")
Originally Posted by PerriP

Very true, Perri.

Yeah, I don't know how many I have and don't check to see if anyone deleted me. I don't care for the most part. I'm just careful about who I accept and let the rest go from there. I have some friends who are out right alcoholics and have always been a**holes when they drink. They tend to check and see who unfriended them after a night of drunken posting. What do you do? They've always been that way. Sometimes they offend, sometimes they entertain, and they always need an intervention.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

While I am sure several of my friends/family will stay on FB, from what I gather it's about dead in the water. According to the NKOTB that is. Not sure how I feel about kids on Tumblr, but I'm an old interwebs foggie who thinks it's 75% effed up.

Don't you hate it when they cancel your favorite show?
Originally Posted by Fifi.G
yes, I agree with this, I use it less and less, although I do read posts several times a day I rarely post things. Mostly I use it for keeping up with friends, seeing what they are doing, family photos, etc. That is how I use it
Modified CG since Dec 2011
If ppl feel depressed and jealous just bc they see their friends happy...they are just miserable ppl IMO.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
For the most part, I relate, when it comes to the people you know. They might be excited over a new car, and they might cuss somebody the next day. I think some people get into trouble when they accept 2359 FB friends and know none of them. Especially when they are/were younger. Everyone I know under 16 posts "I hate my life" non stop. They are constantly comparing themselves to other people they do not know, and that's the sad norm for them (because no one is monitoring). I've wondered if the most popular shows with younger viewers, for several years, have had something to do with this as well. Basically any reality show where you try to out do someone or sit around wishing you lived like ... person. There seems to be a loss when it comes to being happy with yourself or being happy for someone else.
Originally Posted by Fifi.G
But why would any of this cause you to become depressed and angry from simply looking at pictures?

I don't have any FB friends who are under the age of 16. But when my kids are teenagers, I would like to think I have their PWs and am monitoring their activity. I guess a lot of kids w/ depression and suicidal ideation use these platforms as a cry for help and no one takes them seriously.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
I really don't know the why's, but I would say more kids are not being monitored than are. The friends I have that age are my friends children. I do talk to them, check in, try to see what's going on. They both have single moms who work 12 hour shifts, and can not keep tabs on their every move so I jump in when I can.

I know one has some stuff going on at home. He won't tell me what, which kills me because he used to tell me everything (I was at the hospital to see both they days they were born). I've watched him and his posts change, since adding more people, and seen the rather nasty interactions between him and his friends over the dumbest stuff (what's new). He is now sad, depressed, drinking, doing drugs, and saying things that this child would have never said before. He family is aware.

I've watched the girl go to sites, post pictures, listen to trolls slam her for her appearance, make changes, come back, post another pic, and get slammed again. I don't know why you would do that to yourself. (Obviously some self esteem issues which the programs in school are creating as opposed to helping, imo). I honestly do think the unhealthy interaction on line intensifies her feelings and problems.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 09-24-2013 at 11:02 AM.
Don't get me wrong... Both kids were monitored closely when younger. They could only get online when mom was home, they were taught about things, etc. BUT they now have to get online more and more when mom is not home, due to school work, and will end up on FB and other entertainment/socializing sites. *The kids know more ways around that than mom and dad, and always have where technology is concerned* Also, some kids start drinking and trying drugs in high school. That's sadly nothing new. Reading about it however, is new to me.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 09-24-2013 at 11:18 AM.
While I am sure several of my friends/family will stay on FB, from what I gather it's about dead in the water. According to the NKOTB that is. Not sure how I feel about kids on Tumblr, but I'm an old interwebs foggie who thinks it's 75% effed up.

Don't you hate it when they cancel your favorite show?
Originally Posted by Fifi.G
yes, I agree with this, I use it less and less, although I do read posts several times a day I rarely post things. Mostly I use it for keeping up with friends, seeing what they are doing, family photos, etc. That is how I use it
Originally Posted by PerriP
Same here. I hardly go on it anymore, but do enjoy the times when I do. I like being able to check in with my friends and family who live in other states. It's great, where that is concerned, but I don't need to do that every day.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

To expand on your point too Spider... I think one has to ask the question: What type of effect does it have on kids, who will have the cards stacked against them when 1 and 5 has a mental disorder (same with Y). If you are already depressed, and facebook depresses you more... Why is the depression/anxiety rate rising with children, in every generation? Studies have show that it really took off with Y. Of course there will be other factors, but it's not a far stretch.

I know people have had their complaints and issues with TV, and I'm not saying it's perfect, but TV does not attack you. A show does not tell you that you are ugly, a slut, you need a face lift, etc... based on one picture. TV doesn't create a webpage about you needing to die. Kids using the internet do. I would say a picture does not attack you or make you feel anxiety or depressed, but according to some in younger generations, a picture can make you depressed. It's really the idea's in their head about that picture and the person posting it, but...

Whew.

And that's of course talking in terms of someones dog, a car they got, a fictional show that has nothing to do with you, etc. Not images of a disaster or things that absolutely will get an emotional response from everyone.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 09-24-2013 at 11:43 AM.
Facebook, Instagram and other social media aren't responsible for people being braggarts nor are any these sites responsible for people getting envious over updates and pictures they may see. Braggarts, insecure and jealous people have always existed and like Josephine said it's merely that with the advent of social media, that these qualities get amplified. These sites are just vessels and I don't feel they are the devil like these articles try to suggest. Only we ourselves are responsible for what kinds of things we put on these sites and it's only us that can control how we react to them. Not Mark Zuckerberg.
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I can't relate to this article at all. Looking to photos, nope not depresed. Maybe I have the most fabulous life of my family/friend, LOL (just kidding)
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To expand on your point too Spider... I think one has to ask the question: What type of effect does it have on kids, who will have the cards stacked against them when 1 and 5 has a mental disorder (same with Y). If you are already depressed, and facebook depresses you more... Why is the depression/anxiety rate rising with children, in every generation? Studies have show that it really took off with Y. Of course there will be other factors, but it's not a far stretch.

I know people have had their complaints and issues with TV, and I'm not saying it's perfect, but TV does not attack you. A show does not tell you that you are ugly, a slut, you need a face lift, etc... based on one picture. TV doesn't create a webpage about you needing to die. Kids using the internet do. I would say a picture does not attack you or make you feel anxiety or depressed, but according to some in younger generations, a picture can make you depressed. It's really the idea's in their head about that picture and the person posting it, but...

Whew.

And that's of course talking in terms of someones dog, a car they got, a fictional show that has nothing to do with you, etc. Not images of a disaster or things that absolutely will get an emotional response from everyone.
Originally Posted by Fifi.G
I guess I'm not thinking about this from a child's POV. (The article isn't about children.)

I would hope that if someone was being verbally or emotionally abusive on FB, they would be unfriended. The fact that someone would accept ongoing abuse from a "friend" suggests the problem lies w/in the person and not w/ in the technology.

But that's not really what the article was talking about. Wasn't the article about ppl feeling their own lives don't measure up to those of other ppl and competing w/ friends to post pictures that reflect you in the best light?

And I'm wondering if, for every person who is angered and depressed by the success of others as seen on FB, there aren't just as many cheered up and inspired by the pictures?

It just seems like a very twisted outlook to have. And they would probably have that attitude off of FB..if they saw someone wearing nicer clothes or driving a better car or heard about a vacation someone took or whatever, they would probably be all pissed off then, too.
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