Image in dating!!

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They have done some rather interesting studies on the addictive nature of texting/social media/smart phones in general. It's not good at all when you can not turn your phone off during a movie, dinner, whatever. If you literally can not go an hour without it being right by you, it's time to rethink.

I enjoy connecting with people but I turn it off when need be, and leave it home when I can. I know people who go into full blown panic attacks if they forget theirs, and refuse to turn it off, ever. Did you forget that we spent the majority of our lives without one? It's like they have a constant paranoia that something will happen unless it is in their pocket.
Originally Posted by Fifi.G
Oh yeah I know people like that too. Who freak out just like you said. I can remember when cell phones were still new and they only had the flip kind and the big ones that didn't have color. Like the big old Nokia phones. LOL
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Looks have and always will play a Factor in dating.


For me looks are what attracts me but personality makes me stay. Like looks Arent everything because if a persons personality is unpleasant they are no longer attractive.


Im not exactly sure what u mean but Good Luck ツ
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Originally Posted by Johari
I agree.

I don't feel ppl are "focused" on looks. In the first few seconds we decde if we are attracted to the other person or not. If not, we move on. If we are, we move forward...and get to know them.
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Looks have and always will play a Factor in dating.


For me looks are what attracts me but personality makes me stay. Like looks Arent everything because if a persons personality is unpleasant they are no longer attractive.


Im not exactly sure what u mean but Good Luck ツ
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Originally Posted by Johari
I agree.

I don't feel ppl are "focused" on looks. In the first few seconds we decde if we are attracted to the other person or not. If not, we move on. If we are, we move forward...and get to know them.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
That is so true. That is what I meant about the difference between looks and attraction. It helps to be conventionally good looking, but not everyone is attracted to that or to the same look.

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I hadn't really noticed this in dating, except the last person I dated before my current boyfriend.

My taste is a little different, I don't like the washboard abs totally smokin' hot men that every woman wants. I like the teddy bear guys that have something soft you can lay your head on and be comfortable

Back to the last guy I dated... he was the only person I've ever dated that image was so important to him. He had to dress nicely wherever he went. He wouldn't let me wear yoga pants when we went skating. He wanted my hair straight all the time and have makeup on. All of that is SO not me! He swore he was in love with me (keep in mind this was after a MONTH!). Honestly I think these guys have issues with themselves, so they need a pretty face and body to make them feel like better men or something. It's ridiculous.

My current boyfriend loves me because I'm simple. He doesn't like the makeup, he finds my curly messy hair in the morning to be sexy. They are out there, you just have to weed the other ones out.

I agree with a previous poster... you know you're attracted in the first 2 seconds that you see somebody. There's no point in getting to know somebody you aren't attracted to in the world of dating.
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Yes I definitely have noticed this and hate it too. I'm not a typical girl in the sense that I don't wear makeup ever, I don't wear heels, and I don't wear tight clothes. I'd like to think that that's why I can't attract men, and not that my personality sucks lol. But I agree that both men and women are too focused on looks. Sometimes I feel like I was born in the wrong generation in that I prefer the traditional way of dating just one person at a time, and getting to know someone. For example, not just looking at how tight a woman's clothes are or how big her *assets* are (speaking in terms of what men look for, not me lol). Same goes for women I think too though. We are too focused in how a man looks. Either that or how much money they have, but that's a whole different conversation. To make this short, yes OP, I totally understand where you're coming from
Lanikai and sixelamy like this.
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
I hadn't really noticed this in dating, except the last person I dated before my current boyfriend.

My taste is a little different, I don't like the washboard abs totally smokin' hot men that every woman wants. I like the teddy bear guys that have something soft you can lay your head on and be comfortable

Back to the last guy I dated... he was the only person I've ever dated that image was so important to him. He had to dress nicely wherever he went. He wouldn't let me wear yoga pants when we went skating. He wanted my hair straight all the time and have makeup on. All of that is SO not me! He swore he was in love with me (keep in mind this was after a MONTH!). Honestly I think these guys have issues with themselves, so they need a pretty face and body to make them feel like better men or something. It's ridiculous.

My current boyfriend loves me because I'm simple. He doesn't like the makeup, he finds my curly messy hair in the morning to be sexy. They are out there, you just have to weed the other ones out.

I agree with a previous poster... you know you're attracted in the first 2 seconds that you see somebody. There's no point in getting to know somebody you aren't attracted to in the world of dating.
Originally Posted by sixelamy
Where on earth can I find a guy like that? Please tell me!
sixelamy likes this.
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They are out there. I think that the superficial guys make their presence known better. If you spend time doing things you enjoy, it is easier to meet the guys who would be attracted to you.

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I can remember giggling when trends took a turn and "metrosexual" came into play with men while spray tanning and straight hair became a big thing with women. I was so used to guys who would yell at me for laying out in the sun (they knew me well and how easy I burn), hated my hair anyway other than big and crazy (normal), and could care less what I wore or didn't wear. All of a sudden it was, "why don't you go to a tanning bed today?" No. "I like your hair better straight". Good for you. Why are so concerned about the wrong things? That's not the same guys, btw. They still don't care, and you won't find them primping
Lanikai likes this.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

I hadn't really noticed this in dating, except the last person I dated before my current boyfriend.

My taste is a little different, I don't like the washboard abs totally smokin' hot men that every woman wants. I like the teddy bear guys that have something soft you can lay your head on and be comfortable

Back to the last guy I dated... he was the only person I've ever dated that image was so important to him. He had to dress nicely wherever he went. He wouldn't let me wear yoga pants when we went skating. He wanted my hair straight all the time and have makeup on. All of that is SO not me! He swore he was in love with me (keep in mind this was after a MONTH!). Honestly I think these guys have issues with themselves, so they need a pretty face and body to make them feel like better men or something. It's ridiculous.

My current boyfriend loves me because I'm simple. He doesn't like the makeup, he finds my curly messy hair in the morning to be sexy. They are out there, you just have to weed the other ones out.

I agree with a previous poster... you know you're attracted in the first 2 seconds that you see somebody. There's no point in getting to know somebody you aren't attracted to in the world of dating.
Originally Posted by sixelamy
Where on earth can I find a guy like that? Please tell me!
Originally Posted by sKorpio1190

Lol, I got VERY lucky! I actually went to high school with him and got him on Facebook about 10 years later. We met up and the rest is history. They are out there, it took me 28 years to find him!
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NP/LP: KMF Whenever Conditioner/ YTCucs
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed DC / CJ Argan & Olive Oil, KCKT, YTBbs
DT: Coconut Oil + scalp massage
OIL/STYLER: SM Elixir / KCCC
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
I hadn't really noticed this in dating, except the last person I dated before my current boyfriend.

My taste is a little different, I don't like the washboard abs totally smokin' hot men that every woman wants. I like the teddy bear guys that have something soft you can lay your head on and be comfortable

Back to the last guy I dated... he was the only person I've ever dated that image was so important to him. He had to dress nicely wherever he went. He wouldn't let me wear yoga pants when we went skating. He wanted my hair straight all the time and have makeup on. All of that is SO not me! He swore he was in love with me (keep in mind this was after a MONTH!). Honestly I think these guys have issues with themselves, so they need a pretty face and body to make them feel like better men or something. It's ridiculous.

My current boyfriend loves me because I'm simple. He doesn't like the makeup, he finds my curly messy hair in the morning to be sexy. They are out there, you just have to weed the other ones out.

I agree with a previous poster... you know you're attracted in the first 2 seconds that you see somebody. There's no point in getting to know somebody you aren't attracted to in the world of dating.
Originally Posted by sixelamy
Where on earth can I find a guy like that? Please tell me!
Originally Posted by sKorpio1190

Lol, I got VERY lucky! I actually went to high school with him and got him on Facebook about 10 years later. We met up and the rest is history. They are out there, it took me 28 years to find him!
Originally Posted by sixelamy
Wow. I hear what your saying but I can't wait 28 years LOL

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I hadn't really noticed this in dating, except the last person I dated before my current boyfriend.

My taste is a little different, I don't like the washboard abs totally smokin' hot men that every woman wants. I like the teddy bear guys that have something soft you can lay your head on and be comfortable

Back to the last guy I dated... he was the only person I've ever dated that image was so important to him. He had to dress nicely wherever he went. He wouldn't let me wear yoga pants when we went skating. He wanted my hair straight all the time and have makeup on. All of that is SO not me! He swore he was in love with me (keep in mind this was after a MONTH!). Honestly I think these guys have issues with themselves, so they need a pretty face and body to make them feel like better men or something. It's ridiculous.

My current boyfriend loves me because I'm simple. He doesn't like the makeup, he finds my curly messy hair in the morning to be sexy. They are out there, you just have to weed the other ones out.

I agree with a previous poster... you know you're attracted in the first 2 seconds that you see somebody. There's no point in getting to know somebody you aren't attracted to in the world of dating.
Originally Posted by sixelamy
Where on earth can I find a guy like that? Please tell me!
Originally Posted by sKorpio1190

Lol, I got VERY lucky! I actually went to high school with him and got him on Facebook about 10 years later. We met up and the rest is history. They are out there, it took me 28 years to find him!
Originally Posted by sixelamy
Something tells me it'll take longer than that, if ever. I'm already going, well, let me not say the number, but my whole life without a boyfriend
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity

Where on earth can I find a guy like that? Please tell me!
Originally Posted by sKorpio1190

Lol, I got VERY lucky! I actually went to high school with him and got him on Facebook about 10 years later. We met up and the rest is history. They are out there, it took me 28 years to find him!
Originally Posted by sixelamy
Wow. I hear what your saying but I can't wait 28 years LOL

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Originally Posted by Lanikai
Don't make me laugh. I no longer care. Don't get me wrong, it would be nice, and I would be happy, but I am not holding my breath. I once thought I would be married with 2 kids by 23 (when I thought 23 was prehistoric). When I reached that age, I laughed, and shot for 30. Now I am 38, and not a bad catch if I do say so myself. It's harder when you live in a small town and are related to over half the locals, though. Luckily, I enjoy my company.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

This young guy who was a total azz said to me about a year ago - "You're over 30 and you think Prince Charming is going to come and sweep you off your feet?"

And within a week, he did
Josephine and sixelamy like this.

I totally hear you ladies. I was in the same boat. I think I had a total of like 2 "real" boyfriends that lasted less than a month. I wouldn't go out there looking, it's pointless - been there done that. Do your thing and when it happens, it happens! The important thing is to be happy with yourself. Happy enough to know you deserve something great - so be single in the meantime and live it up.
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I spent 7 years (on and off, but more on) in a relationship, from 16-23, had a year off and then spent 3 years in a relationship. I was 27 when that ended and started my job at 28. For the last 10 years I've dated and had a couple relationships, but nothing for years and years. Working 12 hour swing shifts absolutely dampers your social life, and now I've moved more into the pool of divorced men with children, which I do not mind. It's just a change. I think having 2 lengthy relationships did me in for some time. I needed time to myself.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

And I guess it's been in the past 5 years that dating has become a different animal, as far as people being more image oriented (I have never seen so many fussy guys that take longer to get ready than me) and keeping a things at a distance with texting. It's all about a mental airbrushed picture and idea, as opposed to the reality of being human.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 10-22-2013 at 10:08 AM.
Only with online dating have I had problems with guys who don't know how to communicate in-person or over the phone. I have met a couple of guys who have a specific image in mind that I don't meet, and I have always told them I am not interested. There was a while when I attracted guys who always commented on my weight or race in a negative way, so I had to cut them loose. Usually when someone worries about something you can't change or wants a specific look that you have to work hard to fit, then that guy isn't healthy for you.

There are still lots of normal guys out there. I think it's a little harder because most people no longer talk to strangers and relationships are rushed into. The easiest way to meet good guys are places where you are yourself and relaxed: school, work, team sports, community projects, grocery store, etc.

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I will not do online dating. I refuse, but still have met plenty that have a hard time communicating or even putting the phone down during a date.

I completely agree about ones commenting on something you can not change not being healthy. I find that strange to begin with. If you are that picky or down right shallow about things, why go out with someone who does not fit your bill? It's a waste of everyones time. I've gone out with all kinds of guys. I have no specific physical requirement. He may not be drop dead gorgeous to someone else, but I happened to see something special. I've also gone out with some lookers. I've met jerks in any and every form. There are some really handsome, sweet, and kind guys out there. They had no idea exactly how good looking they were. They have been a little harder to find of late. The narcissism level has bumped up a notch or two.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

I don't know, most of the guys I have dated are not into looks that way (as in they care about typical hair, makeup, toned body, etc). But the types I'm generally attracted to most likely wouldn't be.

I definitely try to look all good when I go out but yes, the only guy I dated that was sorta shallow is the guy I met in heels, sexy clothes and full on makeup and great hair.

What I don't like is a guy that never calls and texts too much in the beginning w/out calling. What I will not stand is a guy that only texts. So i decided to give one dude a chance, I figured after our first date maybe he'd feel more comfortable. Nope. I just ignored him. And then he'd text me to hang out just hours before and complain I was never available, um really? He wasn't even hot or fun, just boringly nice, so what incentive would I have even for a fun night out?? None.

I think the main problem these days is that people are selfish and don't want to compromise, period. Wether it be with people or not. It's more socially acceptable and fun(for many) to be single these days so I understand why. For me personally, I'd rather compromise some and be with someone the way I'd want. The benefits outweigh the bad stuff. It's boring doing stuff alone. And there's more things I'd be inclined to do with someone than doing alone.
I enjoyed the article PerriP posted in my FB/Instagram thread. FOMO. Fear Of Missing Out. That is what I see as one of the bigger problems now, in the dating and non dating world. Many guys have been prone to the "Grass is Greener" theory, for many years, but it has crossed into ridiculous, and isn't always necessarily about another woman. Just another anything. I've already covered all of that though. Texting others non stop during a date, checking FB non stop, not even bothering to talk that much, cutting the date short to go to a spur of the moment party, keeping things at a distance by keeping a screen between you, etc. It is all rather self centered, immature, and inconsiderate. I think it's more common for people to remain single longer now, but I'm still not sure about socially acceptable. I still get all the pity stares and aww, you'll meet someone. Whatever. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. We'll see when I meet someone with an attention span longer than 5 minutes. I'd rather go out to eat alone than put with that BS. You might as well be alone anyway.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

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