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Old 11-01-2013, 08:38 AM   #1
 
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Default Selfies at Funerals

This has been a popular topic for the last couple of days, and I saw a rather interesting discussion about it on GMA this morning. One person argued that people mourn in different ways (very true) while everyone else argued that some of these selfies clearly have nothing to do with mourning. Here are some different articles/blogs. I know the Huff Post article is linked in the 2nd but I still wanted to post it individually. I love the title

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4175153

http://jezebel.com/a-passionate-defe...als-1455095190

After reading the second, I have a slightly better understanding of the Selfies at Funerals Tumblr, but I still find the majority incredibly tacky and would not encourage.
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Old 11-01-2013, 08:54 AM   #2
 
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Even on NC a couple of yrs ago many of the boardies said they were fine w/ random ppl jogging, riding their bikes and walking their dogs, picnic'ing, etc. thru graveyards...which I think is disgraceful. Not bc we are supposed to afraid of death. But bc, out of a sense of RESPECT to grieving relatives, we ought to maintain a sense of solemnity in these places/during these events.

I don't have a problem w/ ppl taking pictures at funerals (of each other, of the casket or even of the corpse) but IMO it should be done "tastefully."
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Old 11-01-2013, 09:10 AM   #3
 
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PS- I did mention in SIIDY earlier that taking pictures at funerals has been a custom, at different times. I started attending funerals with my family at 1 or 2 years old, but my first memory of one was at age 4. I can not recall seeing anyone with a camera from that point on, so I was shocked when I found a photo album full of funeral pictures in my house as a child. It was more of a common practice for women who had lost a baby in the 60's and 70's. They were not allowed to see the child and kept in the hospital for days, causing them to miss the service. My moms first child was still born, and she him delivered at 9 months. I had no idea until I saw the pictures of his funeral that her sister had taken. It seemed a little odd to me, but a completely understandable custom. She wanted to see her child, which they will fortunately now allow. It was respectful, and no one else was in the photos.

I liked that Jezebel covered different practices and customs when discussing this, though I would not compare selfies to a valid custom in the slightest.

They also brought up an interesting point about teens being distanced from death. My brother and sister in law would not allow their 10 and 13 year old children to attend my dads funeral, and he was cremated. They do not want them aware of death, yet. I guess 16-18 is more appropriate, to them. I find it unusual. It's a natural occurrence that happens to all of us, at some point.

Hopefully some twerp won't be flashing a peace sign in front of my coffin when it's my turn.
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Old 11-01-2013, 09:18 AM   #4
 
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Originally Posted by Fifi.G View Post
PS- I did mention in SIIDY earlier that taking pictures at funerals has been a custom, at different times. I started attending funerals with my family at 1 or 2 years old, but my first memory of one was at age 4. I can not recall seeing anyone with a camera from that point on, so I was shocked when I found a photo album full of funeral pictures in my house as a child. It was more of a common practice for women who had lost a baby in the 60's and 70's. They were not allowed to see the child and kept in the hospital for days, causing them to miss the service. My moms first child was still born, and she him delivered at 9 months. I had no idea until I saw the pictures of his funeral that her sister had taken. It seemed a little odd to me, but a completely understandable custom. She wanted to see her child, which they will fortunately now allow. It was respectful, and no one else was in the photos.

I liked that Jezebel covered different practices and customs when discussing this, though I would not compare selfies to a valid custom in the slightest.

They also brought up an interesting point about teens being distanced from death. My brother and sister in law would not allow their 10 and 13 year old children to attend my dads funeral, and he was cremated. They do not want them aware of death, yet. I guess 16-18 is more appropriate, to them. I find it unusual. It's a natural occurrence that happens to all of us, at some point.

Hopefully some twerp won't be flashing a peace sign in front of my coffin when it's my turn.
One of our boardies delivered her baby stillborn and had a beautiful professional(?) photoshoot of him. But she had been able to see him and hold him. Very touching No objections there.

Yeah, the Madagascar custum really...shocked me
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Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 11-01-2013 at 09:30 AM.
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Old 11-01-2013, 09:20 AM   #5
 
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Even on NC a couple of yrs ago many of the boardies said they were fine w/ random ppl jogging, riding their bikes and walking their dogs, picnic'ing, etc. thru graveyards...which I think is disgraceful. Not bc we are supposed to afraid of death. But bc, out of a sense of RESPECT to grieving relatives, we ought to maintain a sense of solemnity in these places/during these events.

I don't have a problem w/ ppl taking pictures at funerals (of each other, of the casket or even of the corpse) but IMO it should be done "tastefully."
I remember a graveyard discussion here. (I brought up the number of calls we get about people having sex in graveyards. Thats a popular affair destination. Yikes)

I don't have a problem with people visiting or being around them, as long as they are being respectful. The last time I went to my dads burial site, I walked further back in the graveyard and noticed some areas with fenced in benches and tables at specific family lots. People bring their animals, etc, but it is to visit or be close to their loved one. I personally love to walk through cemeteries and look at the very old tombstones, but again these are ones that family members are buried in. Not just random. That I have less of a problem with than snapping yourself in front of grandma or a breastfeeding statue "at pop's funeral". :-/
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Old 11-01-2013, 09:24 AM   #6
 
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Originally Posted by Fifi.G View Post
PS- I did mention in SIIDY earlier that taking pictures at funerals has been a custom, at different times. I started attending funerals with my family at 1 or 2 years old, but my first memory of one was at age 4. I can not recall seeing anyone with a camera from that point on, so I was shocked when I found a photo album full of funeral pictures in my house as a child. It was more of a common practice for women who had lost a baby in the 60's and 70's. They were not allowed to see the child and kept in the hospital for days, causing them to miss the service. My moms first child was still born, and she him delivered at 9 months. I had no idea until I saw the pictures of his funeral that her sister had taken. It seemed a little odd to me, but a completely understandable custom. She wanted to see her child, which they will fortunately now allow. It was respectful, and no one else was in the photos.

I liked that Jezebel covered different practices and customs when discussing this, though I would not compare selfies to a valid custom in the slightest.

They also brought up an interesting point about teens being distanced from death. My brother and sister in law would not allow their 10 and 13 year old children to attend my dads funeral, and he was cremated. They do not want them aware of death, yet. I guess 16-18 is more appropriate, to them. I find it unusual. It's a natural occurrence that happens to all of us, at some point.

Hopefully some twerp won't be flashing a peace sign in front of my coffin when it's my turn.
One of our boardies delivered her baby stillborn and had a beautiful professional(?) photoshoot of him. But she had been able to see him and hold him. Very touching No objections there.

Yeah, the Magagascar custum really...shocked me
Our hospital now takes a photo of the baby for the parents, and gives them a very nice blanket. I had a friend who lost a baby in the 90's, she had to deliver, and they asked if she wanted that done. Of course now you are out and able to attend, if there were no complications.
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Old 11-01-2013, 02:56 PM   #7
 
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Teenagers are self-absorbed. They continue being self-absorbed even when someone dies. I assume selfies are just a natural progression of teenagers being teenagers at funerals.
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Old 11-01-2013, 03:46 PM   #8
 
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Teenagers are self-absorbed. They continue being self-absorbed even when someone dies. I assume selfies are just a natural progression of teenagers being teenagers at funerals.
I agree with that in part. Teenagers will always be teenagers, which basically equals crazy, but I do agree with the narcissism level being higher, due to ego pushing (not really) social activities. I, along with anyone else my age, could have taken a camera to a funeral and taken pictures of myself in front of a statue, etc. Of course I would have had to have it developed and showed it to my friends, in person. No snap and load, snap and load... "Look at every move I make" in my day, but that would have never entered my head. Or the head of anyone else I know.

And I would have gotten the hell beaten out of me. No joke.
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Old 11-01-2013, 03:47 PM   #9
 
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Screw DSS, I would beat the hell out of my child, if they did that, and if I had one
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Old 11-01-2013, 05:14 PM   #10
 
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I, along with anyone else my age, could have taken a camera to a funeral and taken pictures of myself in front of a statue, etc. Of course I would have had to have it developed and showed it to my friends, in person.
This may possibly be the craziest thing I have ever typed, and I type some crazy stuff. I really stopped and thought about doing that on my way home. Hey... I took this selfie in front of my dead Uncle. Dang, I look good. #Toobadformycousins. It's essentially what you might as well be doing.

You would show your friends vacation pictures (which we never really took vacations in my family, but that was common). Your brothers wedding pictures to your friends who have known them since kindergarten, and wanted to see them. Pictures you took at school trip and finally got developed. You know, normal occasions where you take pictures. Now the normal picture moments create jealousy and depression in youth, but hamming it up in front your your mother or fathers dead mom is natural progression.

I agree with Huffington Post
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