Only attracted to tall guys?

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To me, it's like the analogy someone else made, substituting women.

I can confidently say "I'm not attracted to women." I don't need to qualify that by saying, "well, I haven't been attracted to a women ~yet~ so there may be a possibility."

If you know yourself, you know what you are and aren't attracted to, if the particular characteristic is a big deal to you (and for me, height is). Tho it would definitely be easier for me to overlook shortness of stature in a man than femaleness in a woman! LOL

That said, there is this guy who is 5'8"...

I will start a thread on that situation soon.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
LOL so you are contradicting yourself. One can generally be only attracted to a certain type but usually there can be exceptions. Point is, doesn't seem like you're limiting yourself completely if there is a 5'8 guy.
Originally Posted by Josephine

No. The issue is that he is crazy about me and a great guy. Great w/ kids. I really enjoy his company...we've been friends for almost 5 yrs but he has been wanting more since day 1. Perfect for me in many ways and wants to get married. And he is not bad looking. Except he is short and I am not attracted to him.

OK, I guess no need for a separate thread. LOL
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Hahah lol, well damn then. So no story. I was gonna say, aren't you taller than him? I've never been attracted to someone shorter than me..5'8 is short enough! (i'm only 5'6 so it's doable)

LOL so you are contradicting yourself. One can generally be only attracted to a certain type but usually there can be exceptions. Point is, doesn't seem like you're limiting yourself completely if there is a 5'8 guy.
Originally Posted by Josephine

No. The issue is that he is crazy about me and a great guy. Great w/ kids. I really enjoy his company...we've been friends for almost 5 yrs but he has been wanting more since day 1. Perfect for me in many ways and wants to get married. And he is not bad looking. Except he is short and I am not attracted to him.

OK, I guess no need for a separate thread. LOL
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Hahah lol, well damn then. So no story. I was gonna say, aren't you taller than him? I've never been attracted to someone shorter than me..5'8 is short enough! (i'm only 5'6 so it's doable)
Originally Posted by Josephine
I'm 5' 8.5" so yes, I guess i am a smidge taller) and I wear heels a lot so I probably tower over him.

Come to think of it, a lot of shorter guys like me. And they never have an issue w/ the height difference.

I remember remindin one of them, "but i'm taller than you are!" when he asked me out.

And he said, "I'm asking you out to dinner. Not to play basketball." LOL That was a cute comeback. And smart, too bc why should height really be that relevent. Except that it is. LOL

I guess what I'm wondering is if a person can ever grow into an attraction if all the other pieces are there? LOL I mean, realistically, i'm almost middle aged and so are the men I date. Physically, our best yrs are probably behind us. Wouldn't it make sense to prioritize spiritual and mental and social characteristics much higher than physical now? If so, how?

I'm used to rip-your-clothes-off kind of attraction w/ men I date. (Not saying I actually rip their clothes off...but I want to. LOL)

Does anyone have any insight here? If so, I will start a separate thread. If not, I'll stop now.
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When you say rip-off-your-clothes attraction, you feel that way before you even get to know them? I have friends like that and they have the same issue.

Thing is for me, most of the guys I find hot like that, I usually don't connect on other levels. I usually give most guys a chance if I find them cute enough and then when the connection is there, the attraction turns up. I'm assuming you've tried giving guys chances when you are not initially attracted to them, and it just never happens? I've had friends tell me that, I just can't relate, thankfully.

I don't think you can help who you're attracted to or not..so while it might make sense to prioritize other characteristics, what's the point if you're not satisfied when it comes to physical attraction, that's the main part.
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When you say rip-off-your-clothes attraction, you feel that way before you even get to know them? I have friends like that and they have the same issue.

Thing is for me, most of the guys I find hot like that, I usually don't connect on other levels. I usually give most guys a chance if I find them cute enough and then when the connection is there, the attraction turns up. I'm assuming you've tried giving guys chances when you are not initially attracted to them, and it just never happens? I've had friends tell me that, I just can't relate, thankfully.

I don't think you can help who you're attracted to or not..so while it might make sense to prioritize other characteristics, what's the point if you're not satisfied when it comes to physical attraction, that's the main part.
Originally Posted by Josephine
No, I don't wanna "rip their clothes off" before I know them. But I just have progressively-intense feelings along those lines:

1st mtg: he's cute!
2nd mtg: wow, even cuter than I remembered!
3rd mtg: cute and smart and spiritually compatible! I can't believe this!
4th mtg: This guy is off the chain sexy. Must have this guy!!

So yeah, I like them more and more, as I learn things about them. But all of the building blocks have to be there. Like I won't be able to get to (mental) level 4, for instance, if he has some glaring deficiency on one of the earlier levels.

Like it never works this way:

1st mtg: he's cute but boy is he short.
2nd mtg: and he is smart as a whip. Sadly, tho, he has a hump on his back.
3rd mtg: I find his sense of humor so refreshing!!! But I wish he had his full complement of teeth.
4th mtg: This guy is off the chain sexy! Must have this guy!!

So.....how do I do it your way?
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 12-23-2013 at 03:25 PM.
When you say rip-off-your-clothes attraction, you feel that way before you even get to know them? I have friends like that and they have the same issue.

Thing is for me, most of the guys I find hot like that, I usually don't connect on other levels. I usually give most guys a chance if I find them cute enough and then when the connection is there, the attraction turns up. I'm assuming you've tried giving guys chances when you are not initially attracted to them, and it just never happens? I've had friends tell me that, I just can't relate, thankfully.

I don't think you can help who you're attracted to or not..so while it might make sense to prioritize other characteristics, what's the point if you're not satisfied when it comes to physical attraction, that's the main part.
Originally Posted by Josephine
No, I don't wanna "rip their clothes off" before I know them. But I just have progressively-intense feelings along those lines:

1st mtg: he's cute!
2nd mtg: wow, even cuter than I remembered!
3rd mtg: cute and smart and spiritually compatible! I can't believe this!
4th mtg: This guy is off the chain sexy. Must have this guy!!

So yeah, I like them more and more, as I learn things about them. But all of the building blocks have to be there. Like I won't be able to get to (mental) level 4, for instance, if he has some glaring deficiency on one of the earlier levels.

Like it never works this way:

1st mtg: he's cute but boy is he short.
2nd mtg: and he is smart as a whip. Sadly, tho, he has a hump on his back.
3rd mtg: I find his sense of humor so refreshing!!! But I wish he had his full complement of teeth.
4th mtg: This guy is off the chain sexy! Must have this guy!!

So.....how do I do it your way?
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Lol here's how it usually go for me(for the not hot guys)

1st mtg: He's interested and got my number. He's okay, kinda cute but at least doable(not literally lol).
2nd mtg: Either not that much more interesting or okay he's actually nice(we may have hooked up by now and obviously if it's good that makes a difference)
3rd mtg: This will come based on how the meeting and/or hookup was before. With my last bf, I didn't like the way he kissed and thought he was kind of annoying so this came months later because I was bored and needed someone to watch the game with.
4th meeting: Okay he's nice, i'm beginning to like him and he seems tres cute at this point.

Overall there was at least some physical attraction even in the beginning and even if I don't think he is attractive overall. It's usually just how we vibe when we talk, mannerisms, etc. Scent is powerful too later on.

I just give people more chances unless it's really bad.
I find myself more attracted to average height guys or shorter. That's not to say I never like tall guys... One of my crushes way-back-when in high school was crazy tall!
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When you say rip-off-your-clothes attraction, you feel that way before you even get to know them? I have friends like that and they have the same issue.

Thing is for me, most of the guys I find hot like that, I usually don't connect on other levels. I usually give most guys a chance if I find them cute enough and then when the connection is there, the attraction turns up. I'm assuming you've tried giving guys chances when you are not initially attracted to them, and it just never happens? I've had friends tell me that, I just can't relate, thankfully.

I don't think you can help who you're attracted to or not..so while it might make sense to prioritize other characteristics, what's the point if you're not satisfied when it comes to physical attraction, that's the main part.
Originally Posted by Josephine
No, I don't wanna "rip their clothes off" before I know them. But I just have progressively-intense feelings along those lines:

1st mtg: he's cute!
2nd mtg: wow, even cuter than I remembered!
3rd mtg: cute and smart and spiritually compatible! I can't believe this!
4th mtg: This guy is off the chain sexy. Must have this guy!!

So yeah, I like them more and more, as I learn things about them. But all of the building blocks have to be there. Like I won't be able to get to (mental) level 4, for instance, if he has some glaring deficiency on one of the earlier levels.

Like it never works this way:

1st mtg: he's cute but boy is he short.
2nd mtg: and he is smart as a whip. Sadly, tho, he has a hump on his back.
3rd mtg: I find his sense of humor so refreshing!!! But I wish he had his full complement of teeth.
4th mtg: This guy is off the chain sexy! Must have this guy!!

So.....how do I do it your way?
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

Lol here's how it usually go for me(for the not hot guys)

1st mtg: He's interested and got my number. He's okay, kinda cute but at least doable(not literally lol).
2nd mtg: Either not that much more interesting or okay he's actually nice(we may have hooked up by now and obviously if it's good that makes a difference)
3rd mtg: This will come based on how the meeting and/or hookup was before. With my last bf, I didn't like the way he kissed and thought he was kind of annoying so this came months later because I was bored and needed someone to watch the game with.
4th meeting: Okay he's nice, i'm beginning to like him and he seems tres cute at this point.

Overall there was at least some physical attraction even in the beginning and even if I don't think he is attractive overall. It's usually just how we vibe when we talk, mannerisms, etc. Scent is powerful too later on.

I just give people more chances unless it's really bad.
Originally Posted by Josephine

I don't mean this in a judgy or critical way...just wanting you to elaborate...

But why would you give a guy who you are not that attracted to your phone number during your first mtg?

And why would you hook up w/ him (assuming this means sex) during your second mtg if you still don't find him particularly interesting and have barely even started to like him? (If not attraction or interest, why are you sleeping w/ him???)

I can understand being more intrigued by a guy if he... turns you out in bed. But how do you suddenly start finding him "cuter?"

I am very confused by your answers. LOL
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 12-27-2013 at 10:27 AM.
Because theyre cute enough but maybe not someone id notice right away if you know what I mean. Ill have sex if im feeling it at the moment. Im not against sex for just the moment and ive learned that I prefer to get that out of the way early to make sure the compatibility is there before I get emotionally invested, ive been burned by that before. Sorry it sounds confusing. As far as someone becoming cuter, it happens when I like the person and am attracted to him. To me thats natural, I cant explain more than that.

Eta: second meeting I meant it's usually second date so its 3rd meeting so it means ive started to like him at least a little by that point. I wont go on a second date unless im interested. It could be first date but that hasnt happened in a while.

Last edited by Josephine; 12-27-2013 at 01:09 PM.
My best friend is seems similar to Josephine while I am more like Spiderlashes. My bff is attracted to guys that she doesn't necessarily find physically attractive, but nonetheless is attracted to. Looks aren't that high on her list to be attracted to someone. Her physical attraction also seems to have the ability to develop more as she begins to develop feelings for the person. I, on the otherhand, have to feel that attraction on first sight or some type of spark that separates him from a platonic male friend. Looks do matter to me. I am just wired that way. I have been attracted to guys who aren't the most handsome, but they usually have a certain body type and personality. Some people have called me shallow, but I don't care because I can't make my body feel something it just isn't interested in getting to know better.

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Im 5' even. Keep dating only tall men. I will take all the short hotties off your hands (as long as they are taller than me in heels)

The tallest guy in dated was 6'8". The shortest 5'4"

I do have a guy who is heavier than I prefer who just asked me out. Not so sure im gonna be able to do it. But he keeps talking about his weight so its such a turn off

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My best friend is seems similar to Josephine while I am more like Spiderlashes. My bff is attracted to guys that she doesn't necessarily find physically attractive, but nonetheless is attracted to. Looks aren't that high on her list to be attracted to someone. Her physical attraction also seems to have the ability to develop more as she begins to develop feelings for the person. I, on the otherhand, have to feel that attraction on first sight or some type of spark that separates him from a platonic male friend. Looks do matter to me. I am just wired that way. I have been attracted to guys who aren't the most handsome, but they usually have a certain body type and personality. Some people have called me shallow, but I don't care because I can't make my body feel something it just isn't interested in getting to know better.

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Originally Posted by multicultcurly
I'm kind of like you BFF but also require a... something. Spark, whatever you want to call it, but I have not always gotten it on first glance. Like with my first love. The spark came when he told me he had been in love me since we were 3 and 4 years old. I've heard quite a bit of BS from guys, but this was something different. I felt it. After we kissed for the first time, I was done. I still have not met a better kisser, and I have looked.

Then you have the guy I dated who had the face of a young Brad Pitt with Chris Cornell's hair. I saw him from across a room and said... He will be mine.
Only attracted to tall guys?-imageuploadedbycurltalk1388275119.036441.jpg
Only attracted to tall guys?-imageuploadedbycurltalk1388275137.601686.jpg

Then there is the guy I dated for a few years that looked just like JD in Benny and Joon
Only attracted to tall guys?-imageuploadedbycurltalk1388275221.069621.jpg
We had known each other since high school, both dated other people, and I never thought of him as anything more than a friend until he called me when he got out of the military and we spent 4 hours on the phone. Non stop laughter was the spark.

The guy who looked like Pickford from Dazed and Confused, and another guy who also reminded me of Pickford but had darker skin, even darker freckles, and curlier hair were both attraction at first sight.

Only attracted to tall guys?-imageuploadedbycurltalk1388275484.249848.jpg
Only attracted to tall guys?-imageuploadedbycurltalk1388275507.664648.jpg

Both were tall, but the last one I mentioned was around 6'5. Such a sweetie.

I'm also one whose attraction for another person grows along with my feelings for them. I've dated some incredibly handsome men, and some that others probably wouldn't give a chance. It's not always the looks, but I don't mind when they happen to coincide.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

^ Yeah I kind of do have a thing for long hair, but I also have a thing for short hair so... It's all good.

*in fact, one of the most attractive men i have ever seen in my life had hair down to his very nice asp jet black, and like silk. he was just a little taller than me, but built, and his last name was Bushyhead. he died in a car wreck at 20
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 12-28-2013 at 05:44 PM.
Oh yea ive definitely seen guys from across the room that are super hot and when I talked to them there was no spark and even after a first date there was nothing desirable or attractive.

I looove long hair on a guy.

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Oh yea ive definitely seen guys from across the room that are super hot and when I talked to them there was no spark and even after a first date there was nothing desirable or attractive.

I looove long hair on a guy.

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Originally Posted by Josephine
Yep. It just depends. I ended up dating the guys I saw from a distance for 2-6 months, but nothing lasting there. Met some great people and made some good friends in several of those situations. I have life long friends to this day that I met through a short relationship.

Speaking of sparks... I met this guy in the early 2000's. i had been working all day and went to a part at my best friends apartment that night. It was mainly his co workers. This guy walked in and, HELLO! We both just looked at each other for a little while and then he shook my hand. As soon as he touched me I felt a wave of electricity flow up my arm. He must have felt it because we both let go quickly and looked at each other like WTF!! Several people were crammed into a tiny apartment that night so we talked some, but not a great deal. He was heading back home to spend christmas with his dad. I told my friend I absolutely wanted to see him again, when he got back. "There really was a spark. A real spark!" He never came back. His dad committed suicide just before he came home. Last my friend heard he was in and out of institutions battling severe depression after finding his father.

Bleep.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

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