Not to be a Debbie downer . .

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I recently had a falling out with my SO'S parents so to be spiteful they banned me from holiday festivities. My own family lives all in Puerto Rico so when I don't travel there it feels really lonely. I didn't travel this year and my SO decided to go there for thanksgiving and stay with me for Christmas as a compromise. So for thanksgiving I was all alone because I didn't want my son to only be with me for thanksgiving so I sent him to his father's. I figured he could have a normal thanksgiving with lots of people instead of spending it with only me. It was hard to do. I am getting a little teary eyed just typing this.
My best friend ended up inviting me over to her house so I didn't spend the day by myself but until the last minute I thought I would. I have had holidays alone when I got divorced. It just doesn't feel the same as when you have a group of people that are family. It is hard. Thank god it's only one day!

I suggest next year come up with a schedule of visiting your parents. Most divorced families it know split Christmas Eve and Christmas. You can alternate every year. How come you didn't see either parent? Was it because they didn't take the initiative? Next year if you see the same pattern, you can take the initiative and let them know you are coming over.
They are still YOUR family even if they are no longer each other spouses. What did they do? Do you have uncles, aunts on either side? Did they stay home alone too?
I recently had a falling out with my SO'S parents so to be spiteful they banned me from holiday festivities. My own family lives all in Puerto Rico so when I don't travel there it feels really lonely. I didn't travel this year and my SO decided to go there for thanksgiving and stay with me for Christmas as a compromise. So for thanksgiving I was all alone because I didn't want my son to only be with me for thanksgiving so I sent him to his father's. I figured he could have a normal thanksgiving with lots of people instead of spending it with only me. It was hard to do. I am getting a little teary eyed just typing this.
My best friend ended up inviting me over to her house so I didn't spend the day by myself but until the last minute I thought I would. I have had holidays alone when I got divorced. It just doesn't feel the same as when you have a group of people that are family. It is hard. Thank god it's only one day!

I suggest next year come up with a schedule of visiting your parents. Most divorced families it know split Christmas Eve and Christmas. You can alternate every year. How come you didn't see either parent? Was it because they didn't take the initiative? Next year if you see the same pattern, you can take the initiative and let them know you are coming over.
They are still YOUR family even if they are no longer each other spouses. What did they do? Do you have uncles, aunts on either side? Did they stay home alone too?
Originally Posted by violets
Still the issue w/ not paying A to remodel the kitchen? Or something else. Sorry
***
I think it's time for those separated from family to change their thinking. It's a day off from work (which many of us get paid for)! Enjoy it! Who couldn't use more hours in a week?? Now you get 24 and no interruptions. Get stuff done, relax or use the "free" time to help others, like by volunteering or trying to address a need that has gone unmet.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 12-30-2013 at 11:18 AM.
I recently had a falling out with my SO'S parents so to be spiteful they banned me from holiday festivities. My own family lives all in Puerto Rico so when I don't travel there it feels really lonely. I didn't travel this year and my SO decided to go there for thanksgiving and stay with me for Christmas as a compromise. So for thanksgiving I was all alone because I didn't want my son to only be with me for thanksgiving so I sent him to his father's. I figured he could have a normal thanksgiving with lots of people instead of spending it with only me. It was hard to do. I am getting a little teary eyed just typing this.
My best friend ended up inviting me over to her house so I didn't spend the day by myself but until the last minute I thought I would. I have had holidays alone when I got divorced. It just doesn't feel the same as when you have a group of people that are family. It is hard. Thank god it's only one day!

I suggest next year come up with a schedule of visiting your parents. Most divorced families it know split Christmas Eve and Christmas. You can alternate every year. How come you didn't see either parent? Was it because they didn't take the initiative? Next year if you see the same pattern, you can take the initiative and let them know you are coming over.
They are still YOUR family even if they are no longer each other spouses. What did they do? Do you have uncles, aunts on either side? Did they stay home alone too?
Originally Posted by violets
Still the issue w/ not paying A to remodel the kitchen? Or something else. Sorry
***
I think it's time for those separated from family to change their thinking. It's a day off from work (which many of us get paid for)! Enjoy it! Who couldn't use more hours in a week?? Now you get 24 and no interruptions. Get stuff done, relax or use the "free" time to help others, like by volunteering or trying to address a need that has gone unmet.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
That is what I did this year. I don't care much for commercial Christmas, but I like spending time with my family. I live in a different state and don't yet have PTO time, so after I talked to my family over the phone, I did laundry and watched movies and had a great day off. The only other alternative is to be depressed or you can volunteer if you need to be around people.

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I recently had a falling out with my SO'S parents so to be spiteful they banned me from holiday festivities. My own family lives all in Puerto Rico so when I don't travel there it feels really lonely. I didn't travel this year and my SO decided to go there for thanksgiving and stay with me for Christmas as a compromise. So for thanksgiving I was all alone because I didn't want my son to only be with me for thanksgiving so I sent him to his father's. I figured he could have a normal thanksgiving with lots of people instead of spending it with only me. It was hard to do. I am getting a little teary eyed just typing this.
My best friend ended up inviting me over to her house so I didn't spend the day by myself but until the last minute I thought I would. I have had holidays alone when I got divorced. It just doesn't feel the same as when you have a group of people that are family. It is hard. Thank god it's only one day!

I suggest next year come up with a schedule of visiting your parents. Most divorced families it know split Christmas Eve and Christmas. You can alternate every year. How come you didn't see either parent? Was it because they didn't take the initiative? Next year if you see the same pattern, you can take the initiative and let them know you are coming over.
They are still YOUR family even if they are no longer each other spouses. What did they do? Do you have uncles, aunts on either side? Did they stay home alone too?
Originally Posted by violets
My mom is working on moving out, so sometimes she's home and sometimes she's not. She's a school teacher so she had a week and some change off, and I believe she's seeing someone so she's staying with him. So she wasn't here.

And my dad is and has always been very standoffish. He's not the social type and always on the outside of things. So he didn't even say Merry Christmas nor did he ask me what I wanted for Christmas. He was content to lay on the couch quiet and to himself. Sometimes it's like he's not even here. He's a bump on the log in the literal sense. I saw my dad but it was like I was alone cause he ignored me pretty much. I should've clarified that.

Didn't see my mom though.

Don't know what they both did. I went to my cousin's house and my aunts were there. I said that earlier on in the post.

My father's side of the family is weird. I feel like the Hispanic (Puerto Rican) side of my family is super distant with one another and not interested in even speaking if they don't have to. Only if someone passes away do they willingly/begrudgingly get together. My mom is African American and I feel that the sense of family on that side of my family is a lot more important so Im always mostly with them.

My mom has 8 siblings and my dad has 6 siblings. I have a ton of cousins on each side.
last relaxer; 082708, BC; 081810, CG; 122410
high porosity, med/coarse texture, high density, color treated
condish;TN, DevaCurl Heaven in Hair stylers; Heaven in Hair, DevaCurl Curl Cream oils;Castor Oil

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Eh, it happens.
last relaxer; 082708, BC; 081810, CG; 122410
high porosity, med/coarse texture, high density, color treated
condish;TN, DevaCurl Heaven in Hair stylers; Heaven in Hair, DevaCurl Curl Cream oils;Castor Oil

YTChannel: http://www.youtube.com/user/papiermachecurls


I know. Sometimes I have trouble remembering that other people are in a similarly odd-shaped boat, as regards family. It's such a hit or miss thing....and I think a lot of people are dishonest (at least to others) about the degree of happiness or reward they get from being with family.

I wish the best for you, and I believe you will work out the happiest thing to do for yourself come next year's holidays.
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Thanks and hopefully.
last relaxer; 082708, BC; 081810, CG; 122410
high porosity, med/coarse texture, high density, color treated
condish;TN, DevaCurl Heaven in Hair stylers; Heaven in Hair, DevaCurl Curl Cream oils;Castor Oil

YTChannel: http://www.youtube.com/user/papiermachecurls


Yep New Year's Day and eve weren't so great either.

I really need to adjust quickly.
last relaxer; 082708, BC; 081810, CG; 122410
high porosity, med/coarse texture, high density, color treated
condish;TN, DevaCurl Heaven in Hair stylers; Heaven in Hair, DevaCurl Curl Cream oils;Castor Oil

YTChannel: http://www.youtube.com/user/papiermachecurls


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