Why in every group is there always a Debbie Downer? 15 people may be going out, but there is that one that wants to go home at midnight for God knows what reason and is going to ***** and suck the energy out of everyone else until we all just give up and go home. WTH is up with the comments too "Well I REALLY don't like this kind of food, but I guess since it's your night I'll eat it" and on and on about every place we go, someone's driving to fast, we're all going to die, someone's driving too slow, we'll never get there. If you start it this weekend we will leave you on the side of the road. Oh, and if we didn't invite you all we'd hear is "why wasn't I invited, nobody likes me...blah blah". Grow up and quit *****ing about everything.
My body has the worst timing. I have horrible cramps and I think I am getting a menstrual migraine. I NEED to study tonight for my Monday prelim, but I am not sure I will be able to concentrate. GRRRR!
Absolute ****ing misery. I'm SO tired of it. Frustration with everyone and everything and feeling like no one ****ing cares half as much as I do. So so so so so tired of being lonely and being the only one to try and feeling like no one else ****ing cares or wants to make things better. When does it get better? Probably never. I'm almost 25 and to date, my life has pretty much sucked despite all my attempts to make it better. I'm having a ****ing quarter life crisis I think and spazzing out about the fact that I am nowhere near where I figured I would be at this point. Am I going to be alone forever now? I know who/what I want. Why is it that I can't have that/him? Why can't he just deal with it because things could be great and why can't I just ****ing get over it and move on?!?!?!?!?! WHY am I always back to the same place in my mind and in my heart, no matter what I tell myself? Why do I feel like it will be ok in the end? It must be me being delusional because I have been given no signs that things are going to change or get better, yet I hold out for it and convince myself that it will. It's been a damn year almost since I got divorced and nothing. I love my time to myself but my GOD, it is hard to not get lonely sometimes and I'm so tired of having no one to be with or do things with and it's depressing and miserable and oh my GOD I'm getting old and probably going to die alone.
On another note, I wish people in my family would stop making me hate them because I don't want to hate them. I want to love them and I want them to be normal and do the things they should do for other people in my family so I am not forced to pick up their slack for the sake of children that can't help their situation that I almost wish I didn't love more than anything in this world because it is too much to deal with sometimes when I can't do a ****ING THING to help.
I'm tired of my life feeling like a huge mess that I'm stuck in and can't fix. I can't fix the people around me but I can't just walk away from them either so what the hell am I supposed to do? But I'm letting it upset me constantly.
I know this makes no sense and I reallllllly don't care right now.
What is wrong with me????? why did i call you. either of you?!?! yes, you're my friend but you have a girlfriend, it's late at night, and obviously a friend (especially a female friend's) problem does not come before your live in girlfriend and that's understandable. but then, when you did not answer i felt even more like no one cares about me and like I'm the only damn person in the entire world.
so then I made an even more stupid call adn I can't help but wonder if it wasn't a desperate and selfish move to make myself feel better beyond the fact that I was/am almost desperate to talk to SOMEone. But why YOU? I guess cause you'r e the only one I could think of and the selfish side of me was thinking about how you feel about me and that you would make me feel like someone cared. That was wrong and I am a terrible terrible person for doing that.
Of course, I say that but at the same time I am more upset about the fact that you were totally monotone and you don't and didn't care about what was wrong. Of course then i find out someone was there with you and that you were half lit so i guess that is why. I apologized for bothering you adn said I would let you get back to whatever you were doing and you said if I needed to talk to feel free to call back. Well, it was clear from my tone and the fact that I was crying so hard I was heaving and couldn't breathe and just kept saying 'I'm sorry, I just need to talk to someone' that I did need to talk. I will never ever ever call you again. What the **** is wrong with me anyway thinking that it was an ok idea.
And YOU... why won't you write me back or call me or something? Seirously. You're the one I really want to talk to but I can't because you won't talk to me over one little comment that meant nothing. WHY do I have to love you? It makes my life unbelievably hard and it should be like this.
I'm so tired. I've not had any sleep all week. I sound like a crazy nutcase and I guess I am now thanks to no sleep.
I can't believe I did this :@ I will never, ever forgive myself :@ I've never felt so guilty :@ It's like ruining a beautiful painting you've been working on all your life :@....It's like killing your own child :@ I can't believe me :@ I just wanna slap me :@ Stupid me :@ No self control :@...Where is that stupid, angry emoticon? :@...Do I have to put this stupid face whenever I'm angry :@ If I was someone else I would definitely slap me :@ I really hate me sometimes :@...No really, no one understands. No, I don't think anyone has ever done this before. Everyone would be very happy and appreciative :@ And I am, really. Very. I swear I am. But I just couldn't help it :@ I had to do that, and that would ruin it :@ I didn't WANt to ruin it, I loved it. It was perfect. WAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i JUST WANT TO CRY...:@....I hope everyone leaves the house now. I really want to scream :@
HA! There! I FOUND THEM !angryfire::an gryfire::angryfir e::ang ryfire::angryfire ::angr yfire: :angry fire:: angryfire:
I want to send a PM to the guy who left a message in my guestbook and ask him if he has a brother, cousin or friend who looks like him, but is a "suit". I like the short-haired buttoned down type with lively eyes.
Why is it that probably the fourth bout of insomnia I have EVER had in my life had to come the night before a huge exam? Grrrrr. I am taking the longest nap in the history of the world when I get home!
Basic movie theater etiquette, people: Just because you've claimed a seat doesn't turn the place into your living room. So stop talking, stop texting, stop flipping your gross a55 hair over the back of the chair.
This is a PG-13 movie, and if the 9 year old that you dragged in here can't handle it, take him the fark out. Don't detract from everyone else's movie going experience by talking him through it. Though kudos for taking the hint when I shushed you. You actually kind of looked afraid of me. Well done.
And chickadee, it's obvious how perfect and popular you are. This is evidenced by the fact that you are at a movie with your parents on a Saturday afternoon. But for pete's sake, stop opening your cell phone and texting. It's incredibly distracting. Thank dog someone sitting closer to you than myself said something to you.
"And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place." Stolen.
Sir, if you come in wanting to apply for a loan or put a vending machine in our breakroom, you might want to project a favorable impression. Wearing your shirt unbuttoned to your belly button and talking about how much money you have so loud everyone in the building can hear, doesn't come across well, AT ALL!.
Im liking you mister Poland. Im liking your amazing accent and your amazing style. Im liking your amazing kiss. Oh I sure hope I made a impression on you so you give me a call and we can get to know each other quite a bit more!!
"Someday love will find you...break those chains that bind you!!"