What a GREAT idea for a thread. Great replies too, even the ones I disagree with (very few), I love the honesty. OK mine:
To all people who insist on having a cell phone glued to their ear EVERYWHERE they go - do us all a favor and shove that thing up your butt, where it belongs. Perhaps you think it makes you look important or something. It doesn't. It makes you look like an ass. Plus it's dangerous to use in a car (unless you're parked) and it's incredibly inconsiderate in most public places. It's called COMMON COURTESY.
Speaking of cell phones, NO child should ever own one. Ditto for a credit card. Kids should be kids, not midget cheap imitation grownups. Go play in the back yard for crying out loud.
Speaking of kids, hey parents: if you are unwilling or unable to teach your kids to behave in public, and especially to keep quiet in places where it is expected (movies, church, and so on) - STAY THE !!!! HOME. I know kids will be kids and can't be expected to be perfectly quiet all the time, but if they start acting up, quiet them immediately - and if you can't, at least have the sense to take them out somewhere and deal with it. It's called COMMON COURTESY.
All adults (pretend for a minute that applies to everyone 18 or older): the behaving thing goes for you too. If you have decided not to grow up and just be a brat punk your whole life, do it in the privacy of your own home.
There is a LOT to be said for growing old gracefully. Old men racing Camaros down the street look as silly as old women with really long hair and short skirts. You aren't 21 anymore, get over it (and you can look older and still look great, honest!)
Fingernails more than an inch or two long look not only really fakey, but pretty ridiculous. "More is better" only goes so far. PS most shades of green and blue and black (???) look also like you're getting ready for halloween. And I won't even get into leopard-skin anything. Please stop.
If you don't have it, please, don't flaunt it. (men and women)
Why is it to SO hard to say "hello" if someone says hello to you, or "thank you" for something or "excuse me" when you do something, like for example cut in front of someone (at a store or whatever)? It's called COMMON COURTESY. Try it, it doesn't hurt honest!!
Jehovah Witnesses: in a way I respect that you're trying to do the right thing, but would you please finally WAKE UP and realize all you're really doing is ticking everybody off. It isn't working, get over it, and go away. I'll worship in my own way, thank you very much.
Atheists: no, I can't scientifically prove God exists. And I respect your right to believe what you want. But you can't prove He doesn't exist either, so how about respecting MY beliefs as well. At least spare me your smug self-imagined superior IQ, because you only prove your lack of IQ when you come off with that kind of attitude. And no not all Christians are Rev Falwell clones either.
Whoever: your political party and its representatives don't get everything right and the other one doesn't get everything wrong, whichever you belong to. Sorry, life just isn't that simple or easy. How can that not be obvious?
Kids: if you think life is hard because you have to go to school and do homework and obey your parent's rules, you haven't seen anything yet. Guess what, there is no such thing as a time in your life when you can do anything you want. You think we all would rather go to work than the beach?? And oh yeah you want to be treated like an adult? ACT LIKE ONE. Be mature and responsible and courteous and grateful for what you have, not whiny and pissed off all the time.
Finally, turn that obscene damn thumping car stereo down, especially in residential areas!
Like cell phones, it is not only dangerous on the road, but extremely immature and obnoxious. And believe it or not, most of the rest of the world doesn't share your enthusiasm for your music, or bleeding eardrums. PS you also look like a complete fool.
Whew, thank you