Say It. I Dare You.

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Ticked off right now.

Early this past fall, a coworker was having surgery and she asked me to donate some of my leave to her as she didn't have a lot and w/o donations, she wouldn't have gotten paid during the time she was out (I posted about it here). So I donated 32 hours to her. And a few other ppl donated also.

I always try to keep my leave balance as close as possible to my maximum number of accruable hours. I will only schedule vacation time off if I am going on an actual trip or if I am at the very top and will lose it. I had it so I had to take a day off every two weeks and was really loving that.

So when my coworker asked, I was at the top. I submitted my application and hunkered down to two months of not scheduling any vacation time (32 hrs = 4 days = 2 months of not taking off my beloved every other Fridays).

No one told me that the other ppl who had donated time were getting their leave balances hit first. My balance wasn't actually hit until three weeks ago. So the entire time I was eschewing my Fridays off and forcing myself to come in, I was actually losing 7.9 hours a pay period bc i was still at my leave ceiling and didn't know, ie., almost 32 hours.

So then it really did hit three weeks ago, taking another 32 hours out of my balance.

So I actually lost 64 hours of my vacation time trying to help this woman...who i barely even speak to. Nice I was really going thru a lot of stress these past few months and would have loved to have ejoyed those 32 hours of time off.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
This is going to sound straight selfish because it is, but this is why I do not donate leave, ever. First of all, I've never hit the use or lose ceiling. Second of all, if something like this happened, I think I would cry real tears. Those sad emails go right in the trash. I also think it would be different (maybe) if I knew the person. But maybe not, I don't like many of the people I work with enough to donate my leave to them!

That was really nice of you to donate leave to her though.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

4a, mbl, low porosity, normal thickness, fine hair.
One more thing... I feel bad for some kids. I think our schools are close to losing funding for buses and will have them cut out all together. That will be horrible for the ones who have a mother and father who both work and can not take off to come and get them. They need to bus to take them to the baby sitters or home, depending on age. The parents have no other options.

I am surprised at the number of people who pulled their kids off of buses. Yes, you hear some stories on the news, but there are some fantastic bus drivers out there. Mine made me a Christmas present. She embroidered a pillow case for me with cats on it, because my cats were waiting for me to get off the bus every day. Lol. It is one of the sweetest gifts I have ever been given. (Thank Gawd I was the last kid off the bus and this was in the 80's. Now there would be 50 complaints that only one child got a gift, but I actually bothered to talk to her). Anywho, I know some people who pulled their kids off for really dumb reasons. Stuff that was blown way out of proportion. Kids are going to have spats and your kid needs to know how to handle it. Others had very valid reasons.

Pardon the edits. App and brain problems
Originally Posted by Fifi.G
When I was a kid, we were also the last kids on the bus and we also had the reputation for being the quietest and most well-behaved kids. Our bus drivers really liked us for the most part and would give us and our parents stuff.

One of my bus drivers was mean and racist though, but she retired. I was glad to see her go.

The bus didn't become a scary or bad place unless some of the kids that sat in the back messed with you or if there was a substitute bus driver. Then kids went buck wild on the bus, and it was kind of scary. And riding the bus became really depressing in middle school/jr. high. By high school it wasn't so bad again.

Used to love for my parents to pick me up and drop me off, made me feel like a teacher's or principal's kid. It was something for the privileged.

That said, I'm not sure if I'd want my kid to ride the bus. It would be great if we lived in walking or cycling distance to the school. Especially when you hear the scary stories of some of the things that happen on buses.

When I was in grade 8, students would go to the back of the bus to perform sex acts or sneak and smoke (cigs and weed). The environment on that bus just made you want to never get on a bus ever again in life. Also one of the students that rode the bus sounded just like Old Dirty B*****d, and that used to freak me out. But what was worse is he acted like an ODB, and sexually harrassed everyone, including the boys. He was just a predator. This was in a different school system.

I took a course in college where the lecturer told us that when he was a kid, he was the last one off the bus. One day when he was 6, the bus driver pulled over in a secluded area and sexually abused him. Apparently this continued for sometime. (Weird story I know, but we were talking about sexual health, sexual abuse and stigma.)
Originally Posted by curlyarca
Oh yeah, substitute teachers and bus drivers made all hell break lose. Things were a little different for me. In Kindergarten my brothers were in 7th and 8th grade. I always had them on the bus with me, and most of their friends liked me and I got to sit at the back of the bus, with the cool big kids. Lol. Being a little chatter box, I had a blast! After the oldest graduated and the other stopped riding the bus (one would be waiting for me at home), some 6th and 7th graders tried to give me a hard time. I told them to bleep the bleep off, and get out of my seat at the back of the bus! We kept it, me and my friends, and some other big kids made sure we did. Other than that, I never had any problems. I loved it. I got to socialize.


I have had some friends who flipped out over nothing. Some kid told him his shirt was ugly! He's never riding the bus again. Maybe it was! Kids are honest. Lol. Others had 7th graders punching them and leaving bruises on them when they were in 1st grade, and the school did nothing about it. They had to pull their kids.

I would have just hit someone back, but that's how I was raised. :-0 ETA: With the understanding of never start a fight or pick on anyone but if someone does it to you, give it right back.

I was just reading this article on "Free Range Parenting" (lord the names they come up with now).

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3503499/

I would probably be too nervous to let my 3rd grader walk alone, but I agree with this person, and some of the commenters. There is a great deal of hovering and fear parenting. You have to let your kids do some things themselves and have some independence. Some of the comments were sad. Kids that are not allowed to go to their neighborhood playground, have not been around other kids years, etc. It's not healthy, and will cause problems.

^ That reminds me of something I read last week. So many playgrounds have been child proofed to such an extreme that kids refuse to play at them anymore. Any and all possible chance of harm has been removed, and so has the fun.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 11-26-2013 at 09:39 PM.
Granted, I grew up in the woods and during a more relaxed parenting time. That does not mean my parents did not set boundaries, and that they were not protective. They did, they were, and I followed them but I was allowed to play outside by myself for hours. My cousins and I were allowed to hike all over mountains, by ourselves, out of parental site, from noon until 4pm at very young ages. I don't know how people get lost in the woods. It puzzles me. That never worried anyone. I would not be able to an environment where someone was running behind me at every step, wouldn't let me ride the bus, wouldn't let me walk somewhere, play at the playground, had to be right on top of me at all times... It's suffocating just thinking about no one ever letting you or trusting you (or others which still reads as you to a child) enough to accomplish something by yourself.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

Oh my word @ some of the comments in this article. One can easily guess that people would lose their minds.

"Okay - I give up. Y'all just continue to let your SMALL children roam on their own and I will continue to pick them up when they're lost or scared or hitchhiking (yes, hitchhiking), and bring them to the police for them to try and find their parents - which I have done SIX different times in the past in our small town. (And believe me, it took a helluva long time for some of those parents to be found - they didn't even miss the kid at all for hours.) And here I just thought it was because it was mormon parents and they have plenty more kids where the ones I picked up came from... Who knew it was a national trend?"

Snort! There is a large difference in walking your child to school, for a few years, training them on how to safely make the 5 minute walk, knowing other parents and children are around and letting them have a go at it alone (after they continuously ask to do this)... AND a roaming/hitchhiking child with missing parents. We gets calls all the time about dirty kids wearing nothing but diapers standing on a persons lawn, in the cold, at 8 am. That is neglect.


I get calls like this all the time too

Each child is different and able to walk to school or on errands at different ages (remember going to get cigs and beer for adults back in the day?) Each of us should learn how to get to places and what do when you get lost. A coworker last year was in tears b/c her daughter who is in her 20s called her b/c she got lost going back to her apartment from the mall (she was in a different state for college). She was on the computer getting maps and directions for her daughter.

"Oh my god my daughter is lost! She doesn't know where she is. She's in her car! Oh help me! Oh God help my baby!"

Ohhhhh kay. How old is she? "28"!!!

Whew.

Not to mention the 800 parents who have told her she will find her child dead, she will be hit by a bus, she will be abducted, she will walk in front of a car, she will be found under a bridge, she will get her legs cut off by a train, blow herself up, on and on. Don't have kids and don't live in an area where I could let one walk if I did (though my aunts did, for miles, starting at age 5-6) but I wouldn't put my paranoia on a parent who had to fight their own to take this step.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 11-26-2013 at 11:27 PM.
I have got to give up and go to bed. Considering that this is one of the rare occasions where it is supposed to snow, and I am off, I wanted to watch for it. I would rather not have it, and at this point am doubtful about the forecast. We had several inches of rain today, the wind is blowing hard, and it's still 38. I'd rather have my family in on Thanksgiving than snow on the ground.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

Thanks to everyone who suggested I contest the dumb decision by CIGNA that my brain MRI wasn't medically necessary. They first sent me a letter approving the MRI. After I had the MRI I got a letter from the same dr. which denied approval saying it wasn't "medically necessary."

I contested and apparently - it was a mistake! Yes, my MRI is medically necessary and approved.
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Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
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Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
CP, that is fantastic! It did not make any sense (but these things rarely do). I am glad it has been cleared up.


I woke up to a dusting, and nothing on the road. That is a relief. Something that is not a relief... My ex SIL, the one who had my brother assaulted by 3 men in front of my nephews when they were toddlers, has been invited to TG dinner. There was no other option. TG is the only holiday where we are together. That is because of different schedules with in laws. This year her family changed the schedule to go out of town, she refused to go, is is putting a guilt trip on my nephew to stay with her. Mumble, mumble, cuss.

Did you know that most UK adults played outside at least 7 times a week, while growing up, depending on weather? I did here in the US. Now less than a quarter are allowed that freedom in the UK. I know it is similar here. Parents are afraid others will look down on them if they let their child play outside. Wtf kind of crazy is that? In the article I posted here last night a woman told a story about a man stopping at her house and lecturing her for letting her children play in their non fenced in front yard, without her standing there watching them. Go .... yourself, would have been my response.

That puzzled me as much as the outrage over 5, 17-18 year olds, being put on a train without adult supervision a few years ago. Why is this even on the news? Are they not all of age to get in a car alone and drive some where? Nothing happened on the train, btw. They vandalized property on a school trip and were sent home. All alone! Oh the horror.
curlypearl likes this.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 11-27-2013 at 09:40 AM.
Thanks to everyone who suggested I contest the dumb decision by CIGNA that my brain MRI wasn't medically necessary. They first sent me a letter approving the MRI. After I had the MRI I got a letter from the same dr. which denied approval saying it wasn't "medically necessary."

I contested and apparently - it was a mistake! Yes, my MRI is medically necessary and approved.
Originally Posted by curlypearl
Yay!!!! Ms. Pearl - I'm so excited and relieved for you! I can't imagine having to have those checkups to make sure everything is okay (that's pretty intense in itself) and to top it off with problems with your insurance. That makes me so mad that they would treat you that way. Good for you for contesting it...and good for them for catching...and admitting...their mistake. YOU are what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving!
curlypearl likes this.
2c/3a, fine, low-med porosity, below BSL, mod CG since 9/09

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I'm fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world." - Leigh Standley
Kasden - how great to hear from you! Your post made me chuckle. How is everything going in your life? I'm wishing the very, very best for you.
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
guess who is having xmas with her Nana this year for the first time in over 25 years????

B-wavy, scrills and Starmie like this.
My blog:

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since this isn't on BuzzFeed, i didn't think it belonged on that thread:

Mom Puts A Picture Of Her Daughter Online, The Most Amazing thing Happens... - quickmeme
scrills and Starmie like this.
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
Nana Christmas!


It feels like Christmas here. I sat down to eat a snack and take a cleaning break and went from comfortable to chilly, quick. It's 26, snow is still blowing around, and the wind has a bite. I will be glad when this system moves out later tonight. I will also be glad when I finish cleaning out my closet.
rouquinne likes this.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

Thanks to everyone who suggested I contest the dumb decision by CIGNA that my brain MRI wasn't medically necessary. They first sent me a letter approving the MRI. After I had the MRI I got a letter from the same dr. which denied approval saying it wasn't "medically necessary."

I contested and apparently - it was a mistake! Yes, my MRI is medically necessary and approved.
Originally Posted by curlypearl
Yay!!!!

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rouquinne likes this.
Modified CG since Dec 2011
since this isn't on BuzzFeed, i didn't think it belonged on that thread:

Mom Puts A Picture Of Her Daughter Online, The Most Amazing thing Happens... - quickmeme
Originally Posted by rouquinne
Awesome!
And happy about nana Christmas, too

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rouquinne and scrills like this.
Modified CG since Dec 2011
Shoot me now! I am so damn tired. At least I got my closet cleaned up a bit. It wasn't too bad but I needed to put some things up, throw some things out, and I know my nephews. They will come in and look in my closets and under things and then report back to their mom. They get upset if so much as a stray sock has fallen behind the dresser. It's the weirdest thing. I know I have mentioned it before but I really have no idea why she has her sons check peoples closets. It's neurotic.

At least I don't get as up tight about their visits as my mom. My SIL and one nephew will be staying with her. She always feels the need to buy new bedding. I have no idea why. You need new sheets and blankets for the guest bed once a year? It's only slept on maybe 4x a year, and they are washed each time.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

No worries, I talk her down, but she still has to buy brand new towels every year. I keep telling her to get white. They have came for visits and we found out one nephew had MRSA. He had a cut on his arm with a line running from it. Um, get that checked asap! I had to help her bleach everything. You never know, kids are filthy creatures , get everything white so you can lay the bleach to it.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

Well the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, may not be right for some.


Ah. Think I finally had my fill reading about paranoid parents. Aren't they all, to some extent? That's not a knock, it just seems to come with the territory. Can't be helped. I've enjoyed reading about the rise in paranoia due to non stop news reports, recalls, and people putting way to much faith in "child experts", who stir up some life threatening drama non stop, and diminishing their confidence and instinct by doing so. I was surprised to head one woman say that her doctor instructed her to give her son a code name, every time they went out, and use it so people would not hear his real name and easily abduct him. Way to go doc! Not that abductions have never happened, but the truth is the majority are by non custodial parents. And the majority of children reported missing, are only missing for a short while. I spend all night getting messages about a "missing child" that snuck of with their friends and came back at 2am. That is very accurate, but thanks to Doctor Doom that same mom now locks her 5 year old in the bathroom with her while she showers so she won't be abducted while sitting in the living room, and will not let her play in their fenced in yard. That is awful, and parents are more likely to completely flip out now. I can remember hiding in clothing racks and watching my mom flip out when she couldn't find me. She would look, walk around, say my name calmly a few times, then a little more loud, and when I saw her start to get frantic I would jump out. Kids still do that, all the time, but now you get a 911 2 seconds after that is nothing but screaming, and screaming, and screaming, and screaming. If I can calm them down I get all the info, tell them to take a deep breath and go look under the beds and in the closets, while I send help. Thank God they call right back... I found him, in the closet, and then you get to hear them tell their child that is was not funny because everyone is mean. All people are bad. People will kill you. Someone will take you. Someone will take you from your room and kill you! Okay, lets take another deep breath mom and think about what you are saying to your child. I've had to send LEO to drag a parent out of a mud hole that she was checking for her 11 year olds body when she couldn't find him. "Get out of the puddle and pull it together!" I heard the officer scream when he got on scene. Three people in the house called at the same time and all we got from any of the callers was, "he's missing. 11." The rest was screaming bloody murder. Long story, and he did leave the vacation house to take a walk when everyone napped, and had left a note. He was fine, but she had to go to the hospital. I know that has to be a heart stopping moment (I have several abnormal rhythms myself. It's the last thing you wan't to hear, but thankfully turns out fine the overwhelming majority of the time) but you will be no help to your child if you can not even think clearly enough to see he is obviously not in a flipping mud puddle. Or if you teach them to he terrified in their own home.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 11-28-2013 at 12:40 AM.
Okay, not done just yet. This is as dumb or dumber than the story Rou posted about the man walking to pick up his child.

http://www.freerangekids.com/school-...al-for-injury/

Love this comment! I may not have one of my own, but for all my friends and family who do, and are about to snap over this bull isht... Damn Skippy!! 1, 2, 3, 4, I DECLARE A THUMB WAR!!!!

"This one’s on the wrong side of the Self-Parody line, isn’t it?!
I have to say I think this mom really should’ve done a little more to push back than just “thank her for her time and hang up”. We need to push back against this kind of b.s.: calmly, politely, but firmly. “No, principal: I do not accept that you pathologize a normal childhood. No, I do not consider that to be a proper part of your role.” You can say these things in ways that are not offensive, in ways that calmly stake out a marker for the standard of sanity we expect from the people we entrust our children with. Just hanging up and letting it pass is to normalize a level of paranoia that we must NEVER accept as normal."

ETA: Make sure you read the suggested post in that ^ about parents in Canada who are fined for not putting specific items in their children's lunch bag. The requirements totally neglect different eating choices due to religion/or different diets.

Also an older article but there are several newer ones out there with the same concerns, especially considering the now large absence of children from several playgrounds. So stupid. Monkey bars were always my favorite, and I can remember feeling so good and proud of myself when I mastered them. Only one kid in my class broke her arm. It happens. Kids break stuff on monkey bars and in their bedrooms. Not included in this article but research now shows since playground injuries have gone down, a large increase of injuries at home have increased due to excessive time on computers. Strains, eye problems, neck problems, back problems, muscle problems, etc. Normal injuries for older employees who spend 8 hours a day looking at computers, not kids.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/19/sc...rney.html?_r=0

^ And on the playing outside topic, if you have not heard, google the woman in Texas who was arrested after neighbors called her in for neglect. She was letting her kids play in front of their house, and she was out there with them at the time or the arrest, but often went in and kept a check on them from the windows. Just as parents have done for years and years and years prior. My cousin had co workers, neighbors and friends complain because she built a fort for her son. People need to learn the difference between neglect (example: once had a drug addicted parent who never paid attention, amd often was passed out while her hearing impaired child would sit down and play in the middle of a busy road. Neglect. Kids playing in front the front yard, riding scooters or bikes on the side walk, with a parent checking out the window... Normal) and normal behaviors, and also to keep their nose out of it. The TX lady was able to counter sue.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 11-28-2013 at 09:07 AM.
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