- that's a lightbulb, in case you can't see it - it'll help with the darknessI think I'll go for the "stand in the back" strategy, once I see my friend (his wife) so she knows I was there. That way I can duck out like you suggested. Maybe I will bring paper and pen; that's a good idea. I just don't want anyone to think I'm writing about it for the newspaper (I used to be a reporter).
The other thing is that I'm a sloppy crier. My nose runs, and I'll probably have to blow it a lot, which can be distracting. Do you think that's okay to use as an excuse, as in, "I didn't want to annoy anyone with my honking"?
I don't want to take anyone with me because I'd hate to impose. Plus I'm going to know about a thousand people there, anyway. I got some other advice that suggested I just try to deaden myself for that time and work on the "thousand yard stare."
As for the bill, I'm just going to lie. It was the freaking least I could do, and I know my friend or her daughter will pursue me with a check, which I do not want. Or should I accept it and just throw it away? I don't know. Hopefully the whole thing will just slip their minds.
Thanks for the advice and everything. I've been especially brainless since it happened — forgetting stuff, sleeping too much, etc.
Then this morning I got caught in traffic beside a truck transporting calves.
I'm in a dark place. Thanks for putting up with me.
i think excusing yourself for the honking is totally fine - people will be doing ttheir own grieving, too - it could be that you are just one goose in a roomful of honkers. Be kind to yourself. people will think what they want, anyway - so take the paper if it helps YOU, (you can always go to the bathroom, hide in a stall and write).
Lie about the bill, it's easiest - it's clean - it saves you worrying about it - for me, I'd just come up with whatever line I plan on saying and practice it (but I'm a little OCD about things like this LOL) - so when/if the time comes, it rolls right off your tongue
as for the thousand yard stare - YES!!! I assume you have one, I think most of us do - and also, fill your house with some goodies for when you come home - I know I'd want to eat like a madwoman coming home from something like that
Modified CG since Dec 2011