Say It. I Dare You.

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So, here I am thinking that I am having a good hair day.

A young customer (about 4-6 yrs old) is watching me ring up her family's food. She is asking all kinds of questions, like why the woman in front of her gave me money, and why did I give her money, and would I give money to her Mom, and why do you need money for food and so on.

Then, the pointed question - "Why is you hair messed up?"

What a struggle not to laugh. Also, I admit to feeling a small stab of annoyance. Her parents did looked a little embarrassed, but, damn, it was a funny question, and there wasn't malice in the girl's tone.

I replied, "Oh, my hair is just curly and this is what curly hair looks like."

The funny thing is that the girl was a wavy herself.
Originally Posted by redcelticcurls
You're so much more composed than me...when I was wearing my hair weave and growing out my hair, one of my many embarrassing hair weave moments was when a little girl (9-11 yrs old) at Farmers' Mkt was encouraged by her adult guardian/parent to ask me if my hair was real. Of course, I realized in retrospect that the little girl simply meant "were my curls real?" not my hair because the color was a fabulous fiery golden brown in the sun, and the 3b curl pattern was to die for with the help of KCKT/KCCC. It looked totally natural, but I "felt" like everyone knew it was a weave because it was too beautiful.

So, we had stopped to buy apples from this particular vendor, and I could see the little girl staring at me--as people always do, grrr--then asking the adult if my hair was "real," at which point, clueless adult says, "I don't know...ask her"...which she did. I told the little girl that that was not an appropriate question to ask strangers, but that, yes, it was "real," which wasn't a lie because, after all, it was "real" human hair. She responded shyly "I just meant that it was pretty."

I lamented all week about how I had handled myself and hoped that they would both be there next week, which they were. I found the little girl and apologized to her, telling her that I was completely out of line for the sharp way I had spoken to her; then, I turned my anger on the adult and said: "You, on the other hand, should have known that that it was inappropriate to encourage a child to ask a complete stranger if their hair is 'real' and put her in a position of being reprimanded and embarrassed, which she was." She stared blankly at me, so we stopped patronizing their stand, and we had been regular customers prior to this incident--but the little girl had never been there before.

It irritated me not only because I was sensitive to her question because it was a hair weave, but because I taught my son from very young not to ask strangers probing questions...or to stare, for that matter, because I find it to be extremely rude, having been stared at and questioned like a sideshow freak for most of my life.

They had the best apples, too...damn.
Originally Posted by ~Ghost Poster~
I'd be missing those apples, lol.

Funny how a question will be handled differently depending on the age of the questioner. It does make a difference.

I can't blame the kid for thinking my hair was "messed up." She's too young to process it all herself, and she had to hear that somewhere. My hair did look decent yesterday so it wasn't as if i just had a jacked up hair day and she called me out on it, lol.

Being at work, I had to put a good face on it all. She's a strong wavy herself, and she's going to have to deal with this in due time, (though who knows what puberty will bring) so I wanted to try to say something not negative.

ETA: My Mother would probably have smacked me if i asked something like that, lol.

The only time something like that came up was with an older couple that my parents visited a lot. The wife would give us the neat little treats. One day, the husband became ill, and he ended up on oxygen. It sort of freaked me and my siblings out because we had never seen an oxygen tank.

My brother asked the husband if he was going to die, and then he, my sister, and I all started bawling, lol. Poor guy. He did die a few months after that, and he did try to explain to us about dying, but it was hard for us to get when so young. I still remember going to his funeral.

That was the only blurted out question my mother didn't punish us for.
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Last edited by redcelticcurls; 03-05-2010 at 09:42 PM.
RCC, I actually think the story is pretty cute. It made me smile because I remember once being told by a little girl that my hair was "big." I wore my hair pretty straight back then, but the wave, volume and frizz were trying to come out!

I think you responded to the little girl in a really nice way. Kids just have no filters, and they interpret things differently too. Kudos to you for seeing the wave in her hair and speaking positively!

Wurly and proud!
Modified CG since 2008.
RCC, I actually think the story is pretty cute. It made me smile because I remember once being told by a little girl that my hair was "big." I wore my hair pretty straight back then, but the wave, volume and frizz were trying to come out!

I think you responded to the little girl in a really nice way. Kids just have no filters, and they interpret things differently too. Kudos to you for seeing the wave in her hair and speaking positively!
Originally Posted by wavycurly40+

Thank you!

I would have liked big, lol.
Kiva! Microfinance works.

Med/Coarse, porous curly.
not liking these feelings of dare I say borderline "hater-ration" ( I hate that "word").. where in the hell is this coming from? I could have if I wanted to, but I didnt so damn.. oh well I guess... well maybe not jealousy, but more of the damn I wonder what would have happened if, damn did i make a wrong choice type of thing. wtf man
There are new posts on the "What's for Breakfast" thread, goodness gracious, time for bed!

I thought alcamahol made you sleepy.

Shout out to TK!! Last night was my "alcamahol" birthday! Wasn't all crazy like hers, though - in fact, very tame. I drank like a shot and a half of rum, lol. I had my plan set in my head: my friends and I would go to a liquor store, I would select a tiny airplane bottle of booze, I would drink it all and then we'd eat and be merry, more drinking optional. I wanted that little bottle as a souvenir, they're cute! I mentioned this to my mom awhile ago, she surprized me by sending my brother on his visit with five bottles o' tiny booze!

They're adorable, they're all liquors my mom and I had talked about so they actually mean something, and they're at least 5 years older than me, maybe much more, which makes them more special. (Seals never broken, no aging for better or worse.) At this point, I had actually pulled a near all-nighter due to the two-weeks-from-finals-who-the-hell-calls-this-a-midterm that, yes, I had to take on my birthday - so I was happy I didn't have to go look for one! Every single person who was going to party with me, as it happened, also got no sleep that night, for different reasons, so I decided we'd postpone the big celebration and have a little get-together instead. I really like staying in anyway - low-key and relaxing.

I gave another just-turned-21 friend a shot of Bacardi and we took them together, since he hadn't had his first Official Legal Drink yet. I about hacked up both lungs! It burned all through my chest and nose, so I refuse to feel like a spazz or something for my involuntary reaction. Rum does have a good flavor, though, and now I know how much of it is there without the sugar and nuts and such in my fabulous rum balls. I kept a little in the bottle so I could swig the rest straight from it...after the shot I wished I hadn't, lol, but it made for more amusement. My friend who took pictures (not for facebook, just for us) was highly amused by the reaction sequence she captured: her translation, "Cheers! Oh - ugh - AAAGH."
OMG, LOOK!!

...It's a siggie.

Last edited by wild_sasparilla; 03-06-2010 at 07:15 AM. Reason: I am long-winded when tired. People, this is the SHORT version.
Wow.

Sometimes it boggles my mind how narrow-minded people who think they are broad-minded really are.

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OK so let me get this straight. You've told me how much you "care" about your students more than once. But today now you reveal you have a daughter who's possibly almost 40 years old and you've never once tried to establish a relationship with her?

You care about teaching acting more than about your own flesh and blood? You *think* she's in Chicago somewhere? And she might've had a "deadly disease and might be dead"? Or is that her mother?

smh...
No MAS.

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That's it I can't cope with anymore, the ignore button is now in session.
Fat does not make you fat. It's actually pretty important.
I don't know if it is the lavender I've been using to deodorize, but I am starting to feel really calm.

And I'm starting to like lavender......

Mix of 3s, thick, coarse, medium porosity

Current hair styling technique: rake with a scrunch at the end. (works with my coarse hair)

http://public.fotki.com/curlymix/
pw: curls

Known HGs: KCCC, homemade fsg, honey
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I am feeling cross. It's PMS. Soon I will ply myself with popcorn and cookies.

I hate having to stab through the foil on new bottles of ibuprofen.
How does half of a class fail a test where the teacher virtually gives you the answers to study from?
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"I will never be the woman with perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it."

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.

Last edited by ninja dog; 03-06-2010 at 06:30 PM. Reason: I thought this was the ask anything thread! Oops!
Laziness? Confusion? Poor communication?

I believe my cookie question went unanswered, but I've decided to switch to beer, anyway.

So.....what kind of beer, if any, do you enjoy?
Originally Posted by ninja dog

I think you've mistaken this thread for the Ask thread Ninja.


But I agree, laziness is partly to blame. It reminds me of how stupid and misguided I was 10+ years ago.
2b/c, medium/high porosity, medium/coarse texture
Current HG: Kinky Curly errythang, GVPCB, LALSG

"I will never be the woman with perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it."

I loathe seeing people my age (16) or younger with big tattoos in conspicuous locations. UGH it drives me crazy!!!

What are ypu going to do with your life? I hope you dont have plans for college or a professional job because, nobody is going to hire you!

If you are young and are planning to get a tattoo, make it small and in an unconspicuous location so you won't have to wear long sleeve and/or pants for the rest of your professional career.
Why can't I bring myself to delete FB friends who clearly don't give a rat's ass about me and just wanted access to my pics out of curiosity? I'm not talking about random strangers, either.

And, furthermore...the better question is: Why do I even give a f*k?

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~That you don't share my experiences/opinions doesn't invalidate them
I wondered if it tasted like a hot dog. ~Phoenix
Your whole thinking process concerning dating is sad. You told a woman to pursue a man that's in a relationship. And YOU said that if his lady isn't taking care of him then what happens will happen.

Seriously?


That's a load of bullsh*t and something a typical guy would say to validate his wandering eye and his infidelities! I expected a bit more of you. But considering your OWN indiscretions and how YOU'RE dealing with the consequences, I guess I shouldn't. Based on your outlook, unless someone is married then every person, regardless of whether they're in a monogamous or committed relationship, is fair game (to you or ANYONE else) and that their situations shouldn't be respected because of sheer selfishness.

Wow. Just wow.

I didn't know a ring and marriage was the only reasons to be respectful of people's relationships.

I guess I'm in the minority that feels like I can snag an unhinged guy(which I have). And you saying that ALL men shouldn't be trusted AT ALL is sad. I know that trust should be given out with care, but if I believed what YOU believed, I'd NEVER date. LMAO!

If given the opportunity, there are people(not just men) who would succumb to temptation. But there are people who wouldn't act on desire. Just because YOU aren't the latter doesn't mean you give out advice validating your flawed points of view.
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Wow Wow Wubbzy is one ****ing annoying kids' show. I would much prefer Dora or Diego or any of the shows on PBS Kids.
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Thanking a dog walker with a cookie or two is always a nice gesture (hint, hint).
That's it I can't cope with anymore, the ignore button is now in session.
Originally Posted by curlylaura
You and me both. And there's not one, but two of them this time. Ugh.
Join Date: Mar 2008
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I'm afraid the rest of the country will be in recovery and I'll still be struggling, at best.

I'm afraid it's almost spring and I'm still drowning professionally.

Isn't it time for things to get better somehow?

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