I'd be missing those apples, lol.You're so much more composed than me...when I was wearing my hair weave and growing out my hair, one of my many embarrassing hair weave moments was when a little girl (9-11 yrs old) at Farmers' Mkt was encouraged by her adult guardian/parent to ask me if my hair was real. Of course, I realized in retrospect that the little girl simply meant "were my curls real?" not my hair because the color was a fabulous fiery golden brown in the sun, and the 3b curl pattern was to die for with the help of KCKT/KCCC. It looked totally natural, but I "felt" like everyone knew it was a weave because it was too beautiful.So, here I am thinking that I am having a good hair day.
A young customer (about 4-6 yrs old) is watching me ring up her family's food. She is asking all kinds of questions, like why the woman in front of her gave me money, and why did I give her money, and would I give money to her Mom, and why do you need money for food and so on.
Then, the pointed question - "Why is you hair messed up?"
What a struggle not to laugh. Also, I admit to feeling a small stab of annoyance. Her parents did looked a little embarrassed, but, damn, it was a funny question, and there wasn't malice in the girl's tone.
I replied, "Oh, my hair is just curly and this is what curly hair looks like."
The funny thing is that the girl was a wavy herself.
So, we had stopped to buy apples from this particular vendor, and I could see the little girl staring at me--as people always do, grrr--then asking the adult if my hair was "real," at which point, clueless adult says, "I don't know...ask her"...which she did. I told the little girl that that was not an appropriate question to ask strangers, but that, yes, it was "real," which wasn't a lie because, after all, it was "real" human hair. She responded shyly "I just meant that it was pretty."
I lamented all week about how I had handled myself and hoped that they would both be there next week, which they were. I found the little girl and apologized to her, telling her that I was completely out of line for the sharp way I had spoken to her; then, I turned my anger on the adult and said: "You, on the other hand, should have known that that it was inappropriate to encourage a child to ask a complete stranger if their hair is 'real' and put her in a position of being reprimanded and embarrassed, which she was." She stared blankly at me, so we stopped patronizing their stand, and we had been regular customers prior to this incident--but the little girl had never been there before.
It irritated me not only because I was sensitive to her question because it was a hair weave, but because I taught my son from very young not to ask strangers probing questions...or to stare, for that matter, because I find it to be extremely rude, having been stared at and questioned like a sideshow freak for most of my life.
They had the best apples, too...damn.
Funny how a question will be handled differently depending on the age of the questioner. It does make a difference.
I can't blame the kid for thinking my hair was "messed up." She's too young to process it all herself, and she had to hear that somewhere. My hair did look decent yesterday so it wasn't as if i just had a jacked up hair day and she called me out on it, lol.
Being at work, I had to put a good face on it all. She's a strong wavy herself, and she's going to have to deal with this in due time, (though who knows what puberty will bring) so I wanted to try to say something not negative.
ETA: My Mother would probably have smacked me if i asked something like that, lol.
The only time something like that came up was with an older couple that my parents visited a lot. The wife would give us the neat little treats. One day, the husband became ill, and he ended up on oxygen. It sort of freaked me and my siblings out because we had never seen an oxygen tank.
My brother asked the husband if he was going to die, and then he, my sister, and I all started bawling, lol. Poor guy. He did die a few months after that, and he did try to explain to us about dying, but it was hard for us to get when so young. I still remember going to his funeral.
That was the only blurted out question my mother didn't punish us for.
Kiva! Microfinance works.
Med/Coarse, porous curly.
Med/Coarse, porous curly.
Last edited by redcelticcurls; 03-05-2010 at 10:42 PM.