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Old 03-07-2010, 02:38 PM   #9001
 
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I'm afraid the rest of the country will be in recovery and I'll still be struggling, at best.

I'm afraid it's almost spring and I'm still drowning professionally.

Isn't it time for things to get better somehow?
Hang in there, hon. I'm pretty worried about my brother who is in the same boat. He has been unemployed for many months now and has had no luck. Meanwhile his extensions from the department of labor are running out, and he and my SIL have dear little Matthew to care for, who is still not even a year old and we all know how expensive babies are. Sigh.
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Old 03-07-2010, 02:42 PM   #9002
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Yes, it will get better. You might feel static right now but things will get better and change is coming....good change.
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:03 PM   #9003
 
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I pray you're both right. Thank you.

Saria, I always worry you're overworking yourself if you disappear for a while.

Speckla, I'm glad your stomach seems to be better (it's better, right?).
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:19 PM   #9004
 
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I just painted my nails for the first time since I retired from the military. Took awhile, lol.

Blazing Blue at that!




It's funny how something so little made me feel so rebellious.
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Last edited by redcelticcurls; 03-07-2010 at 05:40 PM. Reason: added pic
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:24 PM   #9005
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Yes, ND, much better thank you.


When does this raw ache inside go away? I know mother's day is several months away but I'm starting to feel that empty place inside. It hurts and aches and fills me with such lonely sadness. A lot of people don't have mothers or even parents and seem to go on fine with their life. Why do I feel like an empty, broken person sometimes? It takes over every aspect of my life and I tend to ooze that out towards other people even though I try to hold it in. I feel like an unsettle, parentless mess sometimes. I feel incomplete and still not sure of who I am as a person. I do not want to bring other people down with this....I'm 35 freaking years old and a mother myself...why isn't that enough?
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:25 PM   #9006
 
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Yes, ND, much better thank you.


When does this raw ache inside go away? I know mother's day is several months away but I'm starting to feel that empty place inside. It hurts and aches and fills me with such lonely sadness. A lot of people don't have mothers or even parents and seem to go on fine with their life. Why do I feel like an empty, broken person sometimes? It takes over every aspect of my life and I tend to ooze that out towards other people even though I try to hold it in. I feel like an unsettle, parentless mess sometimes. I feel incomplete and still not sure of who I am as a person. I do not want to bring other people down with this....I'm 35 freaking years old and a mother myself...why isn't that enough?
My Mom's Mom died many years ago, and she still feels that way sometimes. I wonder if it is just normal?
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:50 PM   #9007
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I think it is normal. My mother died 19 years ago. I never really got to know her as a person because she was too ill and not really capable of taking care of my sisters and myself. We were passed around between fosterhomes and family members. I think it's just the not really knowing and not having memories that really gets me. I need some sort of closure. I think it gets worse as I get older because I allow myself to think about it now. Before I'd just brush it off and not think about it.
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:05 PM   #9008
 
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I'm sorry, Speckla.
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Old 03-07-2010, 05:03 PM   #9009
 
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Just wondering outload...

What the heck do those ladies over at The Purse Forum do for a living to be able to afford so many handbags??
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Old 03-07-2010, 05:05 PM   #9010
 
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There's a purse forum???
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Old 03-07-2010, 05:08 PM   #9011
 
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There's a purse forum???
Not here on NC.

http://forum.purseblog.com/
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Old 03-07-2010, 05:10 PM   #9012
 
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There's a purse forum???
Not here on NC.

http://forum.purseblog.com/
LOL, Oh! And thanks for posting a link!
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Old 03-07-2010, 06:42 PM   #9013
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Pretty nails. Those aren't the barn kind though.

Love. Mercy. Grace. Missing elements in a lot of lives. Being nonjudgmental especially when you have your own stumbling blocks. Love. It is really the key element but unfortunately people either ignore it or don't understand what it really is. It isn't mushy, gushy feelings or always easy to deal with. Real love makes you see the overall person and want what's best for them even if it isn't easy or painless to deal with. Loving someone truly and selflessly is truly one of the hardest things.

I'm feeling philosophical now.

Thanks for listening. Pain isn't really so much a bad thing when you let it play out and let it go instead of stuffing it down. It helped me to stop and look and realize what I really do have. I am blessed in my life personally and professionally.

I miss my mother but I really do have more than I realized. I look a lot like her and I see her face everytime I look in the mirror. I believe in God and I believe in Heaven and I know that's where she is now. Painfree, happy, and young. Gotta continue living my life to the fullest and not let it pass by unlived.


How else can you get to the point of helping other people if you refuse to first help yourself?
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Old 03-07-2010, 06:44 PM   #9014
 
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Speckla, do you still need barn nails?

The rest of your post made me all teary-eyed. Sad, happy, wistful, and sentimental all at once.
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Old 03-07-2010, 06:54 PM   #9015
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I sometimes forget that I have the gift of heart. Painful experiences make that stronger and reinforce the need to be open and honest and the importance of getting past things to be able to truly help others through stuff.

Yeah, I'm going to need nails soon. I accidentally deleted my barn and will be starting another one soon.
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Old 03-07-2010, 07:30 PM   #9016
 
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Just wanted to say hi to everyone. My old account is messed up, so I've registered for this new one. That's all for now.
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Old 03-07-2010, 10:59 PM   #9017
 
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You are amazing!!!!
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Old 03-07-2010, 11:07 PM   #9018
 
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I'm so stuck in a rut and don't know how to get out of it. Blah for a year just isn't working anymore. How do I change what is essentially a great life without seeming selfish or wrong? Ugh...I need some girlfriends again. Something outside the house. Who wants to grab a drink?
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Old 03-07-2010, 11:14 PM   #9019
 
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Should be sleeping, but I'm washing clothes because folks take over the washer and dryer 8 days out of the week.

But even with that slight annoyance, you managed to be bright spot of my day. Not a moment where I'm not smiling when talking to you. And I'm still getting used to you referring to "us" and "we" when talking about things a year from now. I stay away from those words generally because it was always me who would feel those things[prematurely]. But you generously use them. You use them and never take it back. You're considerate and want to include me in things. You miss me when we're not able to see eachother and tell me that you do. It's been a LOOOOOOOOONG time since someone said that and I actually believed them.

Feels nice. And you rock!
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Old 03-08-2010, 12:52 AM   #9020
 
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Men are fragile creatures with delicate egos.
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