What is (happens at) a wake? UPDATE and question

Like Tree8Likes
  • 1 Post By DonnitaMae
  • 1 Post By PerriP
  • 1 Post By curlypearl
  • 1 Post By claudine191
  • 1 Post By CurlyCanadian
  • 1 Post By BotticelliBrit
  • 1 Post By Fifi.G
  • 1 Post By sixelamy

UPDATE: Thanks for all the information about the wake. I was prepared for the open casket and as you said, the funeral home sent my floral arrangement to the church. Here's a follow-up question: The funeral was Saturday. Is it appropriate to send a sympathy fruit/food basket to the bereaved? If so, when should I do that? I am accustomed to that in the Jewish tradition but this was a Catholic married to an Episcopalian who died. I don't want to overdo things. I will send a sympathy card anyway.

The married partner of a very close friend of mine died suddenly. My friend is absolutely devastated. He emailed me that there will be a wake Friday evening and a funeral service at a church Saturday followed by burial.

Can anyone who knows please tell me in detail what happens at a wake? Do I wear black? Do I send a floral arrangement to the wake? I plan to send a floral to arrangement to the church and later to their home What happens after the burial? Should I send a basket of food or prepared food to the home?

This is a really dear friend of mine and he and his partner are special to me.
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Protein sensitive
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift

Last edited by curlypearl; 10-13-2014 at 05:53 AM.
The married partner of a very close friend of mine died suddenly. My friend is absolutely devastated. He emailed me that there will be a wake Friday evening and a funeral service at a church Saturday followed by burial.

Can anyone who knows please tell me in detail what happens at a wake? Do I wear black? Do I send a floral arrangement to the wake? I plan to send a floral to arrangement to the church and later to their home What happens after the burial? Should I send a basket of food or prepared food to the home?

This is a really dear friend of mine and he and his partner are special to me.
Originally Posted by curlypearl
First let me say I'm so very sorry for your loss.

A wake is a time for visiting and paying respects. It is an open window of time where family and friends of the deceased gather. If it is an open casket it is the time where the viewing is. Now-a-days there is often poster boards of photos, video streams, and momentos of the person's life around. I tend to be a traditionalist and do wear black or dark clothing but it is not necessary but wearing something conservative would be my advice.

The funeral home should be transporting the flowers to the church after the wake but I would call them and ask that question. I have always sent the flowers to the funeral home in time for the wake. Every funeral is different and it will depend on the arrangements the family has made.

Often after the burial the family has made arrangements for a gathering where food is available. From my experience it is usually at the home of a relative and is pot-luck. Not pot-luck in that you arrive with food in your hands so much but that family and friends have pitched together and brought or sent food by. There are no hard rules for this. In the days leading up to the funeral sending or bringing food to the family during this time is often done. The family is dealing with grief and having casserole and sandwich foods are easy for them to nourish themselves and visitors during this time.

The hardest time often is after the wake, funeral, and burial is over. The family is then left with the quiet that can be consuming after. The days and weeks to come after are very difficult.
curlypearl likes this.
Silver CG since September 2014
2C/3A/Medium Texture/Medium Porosity/Thick Density
Photos: http://public.fotki.com/DonnitaMae/curls/
Password: sarie

CP, I'm so sorry for your loss. I think most was covered above. If you know others who are close to them/family you may be able to find out about food. Lately I've seen that someone is the organizer and can tell you what day isn't covered for food or if they need help for the actual services.
curlypearl likes this.
Modified CG since Dec 2011
Thank you so much DonnitaMae and Perri. You answered all my questions. I did try to read up on the web, but nothing I read was anywhere near as clear and helpful as your responses. I truly appreciate it, because I was formerly clueless.

The fact that the funeral home may send the flowers to the church is one of the most important things for me to know. I'll be sure to find out about that because I want to be as generous as possible but I didn't think I could afford to send two huge floral arrangements. If the funeral home doesn't arrange for that I will send the floral bouquet to the funeral home for the wake.

I remember after I experienced a terrible loss that the days, weeks and months after the funeral was over were the hardest because at first there is at least people commiserating with the bereaved but afterward being alone is the worst. I am going to be there for my friend in every possible way.

Thank you also for your expressions of sympathy. I'm mostly grieving for my friend - my heart aches for him. This is a terrible blow and I am afraid for his psyche and even physical health. He has a very strong connection to a wonderful church which will help sustain him. I'm Jewish, but I've attended the church with him at times, and volunteered there and I know he is beloved so that will help.

Thanks again. Better times are ahead.
DonnitaMae likes this.
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Protein sensitive
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
I'm so sorry for your loss
curlypearl likes this.
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
I've never been to one, so unfortunately I can't help on that front. But I did just want to say how incredibly sorry I am for your loss and I hope both you and your friend will get through this hard time.

Sending so much love your way <3
curlypearl likes this.
3A with some 3B thrown in. Medium porosity.

Pre-poo: Organic Virgin Coconut Oil
Low-poo: SM Coconut & Hibiscus shampoo / ElastaQP Créme Conditioning shampoo
Conditioner:
ORS Olive Oil Replenishing Conditioner
D/C: Giovanni 2chic Avocado & Olive Oil Ultra Moist Deep Moisture Mask

Leave-in: My DNA
Styler: Ouidad Climate Control Heat & Humidity


UK curly. CG since October 2013.
Aiming for WL curls (eventually)
I am so sorry, CP. ((((hugs))))
curlypearl likes this.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

Thank you, everyone.
2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Protein sensitive
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
Sorry. A wake is a great time to spend with the friends/family and offer condolences. I find the wake to be the hardest part. My thoughts to you and your friend.
curlypearl likes this.
2c-3a - coarse - normal-high porosity - high density - growing out to donate

NP/LP: KMF Whenever Conditioner/ YTCucs
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed DC / CJ Argan & Olive Oil, KCKT, YTBbs
DT: Coconut Oil + scalp massage
OIL/STYLER: SM Elixir / KCCC
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:48 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com