What shld Jim Bob and Michelle have done?

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Here's the story, if you haven't already heard. The story is somewhat confusing to me in several ways (who is this "James" person? Is that an alternative name for Jim Bob? One of their sons? Someone else? Also is the letter found in the book the only reason Jim Bob went to the cops or did he go bc it happened a second time or did he go bc he realized it happened to his daughter? Are all five of the victims the daughters? Or only some? Are we sure any of the victims were daughters?)

But my question is, if you discovered your 14 y/o son was fondling girls (maybe your own daughters or maybe not), what wld you do? Wld you immediately seek to have your child adjudicated? Or try to handle it w/in the family? Or what? What type of discipline would be appropriate, considering the nature of the transgression and his age? Would your reaction differ depending on whether the victims were your own daughters or other children?

Interested in the opinions of parents, specifically. But all thoughts are welcome. Not realy trying to bash Jim Bob and Michelle...just looking for your ideas of how to handle this. But if you feel you must bash them, I don't care.
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I haven't read your link, but from what I understand atleast some were their daughters. He was fondeling them while sleeping and while reading them stories.

I don't have kids, so can't say for sure what I would do as far as police. All kids would be in therapy though. Not sure about therapists and if they are required to report it? The son would be out of the house.
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Ok, read your link.

Pretty sure James is Jim Bob

Disgusted that the church knew and did nothing and that the family has said the daughters forgive him. That's their upbringing, they are second to men, of course they will say they forgave him.
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Audrey Hepburn
I don't have an answer to your questions, this story just makes me want to barf. I read it yesterday after my friend posted it. Gross.
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Ok, I lied.. I have some opinions. I just have to say.. just the feeling I get... I wonder if Jim Bob did any of this to the children.. even the boys. The family has always creeped me out a little bit. Funny how the state trooper guy who gave the "stern talk" ended up in prison. I wonder if the "stern talk" was "don't get caught again". The whole thing is just gross. Who sends their kid away to a family friend and not get them help? I do wonder if it was their own children who got molested. Only way I can see it being covered up is if a parent is guilty of it as well. That's just my 2 cents. I mean, don't send them to the police.. but get help in some way. Geez.
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I don't have kids, I can imagine this must have been very hard. I'd like to think that I would go to the police. As far as I'm concerned the girls (regardless if they are his sisters or neighbors) need justice and help to get through the violation. To be brave enough to report it, and nothing happen to the offender....awful.


This boy also needs therapy, as a parent (I would imagine) you wouldn't want to let this boy go on assaulting other girls. It will only get worse.


But again, I can not imagine how hard this would be.


As an aside, go Oprah! Or at least her team that reported this to the police.
Agree with the Oprah comment. A number of shows would have brought them on, and presented the letter for ratings.
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
I'm really not sure but ideally I would want to handle it within the family and hope to fix it.

Side note, is anyone really surprised this was happening..just looking at the huge family, their weirdness, and them talking about religion so much, I assumed it was definitely going on.
I'm really not sure but ideally I would want to handle it within the family and hope to fix it.

Side note, is anyone really surprised this was happening..just looking at the huge family, their weirdness, and them talking about religion so much, I assumed it was definitely going on.
Originally Posted by Josephine
I, for one, was really shocked! They seemed like a nice family. (Not sure why talking about religion would have made you assume them to be incestuous pedophiles!) Well, the mother and the daughters seem awfully nice. The father seemed weird and Josh always seemed a bit of a prick...weird rapport w/ the father.

***

But I'm surprised they went on to have more and more kids after even the first of Josh's molestation incidents. You'd think they say let's slow our roll here and pay the kids more attn., be present for more of what's going on, stop spreading ourselves so thin.

***

Jim Bob and Michelle ~eventually~ did go to the authorities. I can understand them hoping to handle it quietly w/in the family. But obviously that didn't work. A lot of parents do send kids who are getting into trouble away for a while to live w/ relatives or friends out of town. That's really common. But prbly not sexual predators.
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My first thought... the boy was molested (by whom? don't know).
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I heard a little about this on the news one day but did not catch the whole story. I do not watch this show but have basic knowledge of the family. This is a really messed up situation. Regardless, official charges would not have been easy to obtain. Authorities did not find out until after the statue of limitations was up sp there goes that. I am glad they attempted to investigate but I would guess most of the girls would be unwilling to go on record, or further, if the reports of them forgiving him were true. The state would have needed to take over and again, it would not be easy. It's great a few told someone, period, but I don't know many girls who would have wanted to go to court and recount.. Actual counseling was/is needed period but I'm not sure if I would be comfortable with that alone given the nbr of reports. It's not just a one time occurrence on the playground. It's a troubling pattern. I'm not saying throw him in prison but the family should have gone further outside their support system and done something more than I'm sorry followed by a home renovation project.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

I thought statue of limitations was just up recently, not when Oprah brought it to the authorities?
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
if I found out my child was doing this then, yes, I would report it. That to me is the appropriate punishment. If your kid does something wrong, you punish them accordingly. So if your kid commits a sexually violent act then you go to the police and let them deal with it. You should not give your child a 'get out of jail free card' (pun not intended) just because they share your DNA. They have physically and emotionally abused someone and you're basically rewarding them and telling their victims that *shrug* what's done is done. I, for one, do not want to be one of those parents who teaches their children that they can get away with things like this. I would also want recompense for the victims, whoever they were. Just because they're not MY children, it doesn't mean they don't deserve closure and justice.
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Oh, that family.

I def think that he should have gotten counseling. Both him and the girls. And sending him away was a good idea but it seem that they did it all wrong. And then the guy who they had him talk to was also doing the same thing. Oy vey. What a mess!
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Here's the story, if you haven't already heard. The story is somewhat confusing to me in several ways (who is this "James" person? Is that an alternative name for Jim Bob? One of their sons? Someone else? Also is the letter found in the book the only reason Jim Bob went to the cops or did he go bc it happened a second time or did he go bc he realized it happened to his daughter? Are all five of the victims the daughters? Or only some? Are we sure any of the victims were daughters?)

But my question is, if you discovered your 14 y/o son was fondling girls (maybe your own daughters or maybe not), what wld you do? Wld you immediately seek to have your child adjudicated? Or try to handle it w/in the family? Or what? What type of discipline would be appropriate, considering the nature of the transgression and his age? Would your reaction differ depending on whether the victims were your own daughters or other children?

Interested in the opinions of parents, specifically. But all thoughts are welcome. Not realy trying to bash Jim Bob and Michelle...just looking for your ideas of how to handle this. But if you feel you must bash them, I don't care.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

I don't know what I would do. Probably not turn my kid in to police. Put him in counselling and watch him like a hawk. Put the kids he victimized in counselling also.


I know what I WOULDN'T do. Go on TV or in the media and portray myself and allow myself to be portrayed as the perfect family and as all holier-than-thou, KNOWING that I was sitting on a secret like this. And I WOULDN'T have 18 (or however many) more kids without dealing with this issue and I wouldn't let that kid anywhere near any of the other kids ever.
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if I found out my child was doing this then, yes, I would report it. That to me is the appropriate punishment. If your kid does something wrong, you punish them accordingly. So if your kid commits a sexually violent act then you go to the police and let them deal with it. You should not give your child a 'get out of jail free card' (pun not intended) just because they share your DNA. They have physically and emotionally abused someone and you're basically rewarding them and telling their victims that *shrug* what's done is done. I, for one, do not want to be one of those parents who teaches their children that they can get away with things like this. I would also want recompense for the victims, whoever they were. Just because they're not MY children, it doesn't mean they don't deserve closure and justice.
Originally Posted by BotticelliBrit

I don't think that the criminal justice system does a very good job of teaching accountability, or giving people closure or justice. And there are other ways to hold people accountable. People in general need to stop relying so much on the criminal justice system for that stuff.
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Oh, I've read that blog before (rouquinne's post). And yeah, are we really surprised that someone cheats on his spouse when he's overtly taught that women are inferior to men, must submit to men, and don't have as much value as a man?

Um, naw.

All I can think is if that's even all there is. He sure came forward really quickly to put it out there himself.

I read his apology, and it's the same sort of non-apology apology from a few months ago.

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He's only apologizing becuz he got caught. Once again. He needs help to deal with his perversions & his wife needs help to deal with this. I can't even imagine how she is feeling right now. I hope this won't be swept under the rug by just praying & asking for forgiveness. Hopefully, it will be an eye opener to the mistakes his parents made years ago when he molested these children.
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