sew and sew

If you're interested in someone and want them to know.

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NetG

I'm not shy about making the first move. I don't really do it anymore, however. I've found that the only guys with personalities I get along with are willing to ask me out. Unfortunately. Guys rarely have the guts to ask me (or most of my friends) out, so if I feel like going out with someone I'll just ask. If it's going to be a real relationship, though, I'll make it obvious I'm interested, but if the guy is interested and doesn't have the guts, chances are it won't work. I guess it has to do with a certain amount of confidence and willingness to be a go-getter it takes for a guy to get along with me romantically, I'm not sure. I don't really have any hard and fast rules about dating, though, other than no scum. So I could decide to make the first move with a guy I really like in the future.

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Aya9877

Been there, done there, would do it again if I wasn't married.

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Aya. That's Aya spelled backwards.

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sew and sew

Yeah ITA here. But what do you mean by "I've found that the only guys with personalities I get along with are willing to ask me out. " Are you saying that when you do make the first move, your personality's don't click, but you get along with the guy's who pursue you?

What inspired this question was this article on MSN today, #2

http://women.msn.com/551706.armx?GT1=3200

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“It was only a sunny smile and little it cost in the giving but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

SpunkyCurls

I prefer when he makes the first move but I see no reason why I shouldn't.

I chose "yes, why not?"

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Confused Curly

Interested in someone how?

Are you interested in having a long term relationship with this person or just sex?

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NetG

Yup, you summed it up well. Basically, I'm not the shy, retiring type at all. And guys who don't ask me out but will go out with me if I ask usually are either not really interested in me and just going along, or not strong enough personalities themselves for us to get along well in a romantic relationship. The guys I've asked out who were willing to go out with me, in general, were intimidated by me. That's definitely not attractive to me.

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The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
-Speckla

But at least the pews never attend yoga!

Nej

I've asked out guys before and they either already had a girlfriend, or found me to be too pushy and got scared off. I prefer not to do it, but I don't see anything wrong with it.

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Springcurl

I have and I will again.

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curlsgonewild

From MSN article:

Isn't is possible it could also be the other way around?........And if a guy never called me with me always calling him I think I would get a signal he's not interested. There would be no further step because of "her reasoning" and I wouldn't question the relationship any further. Once receiving the "not interested" signal I'm not going to wait for him and question it any further. I'd rather move on.

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sew and sew

Either/or. Just considering the general approach to any sort of romantic pursuit.

curlsgonewild: ITA about going both ways. The reasoning in that article is a little off. I guess they're trying to say this is what guys don't look for in a girlfriend.

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“It was only a sunny smile and little it cost in the giving but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

wonderwoman

I read that article too and was also really curious about that one. These responses are intersting. So, here is another question. When a guy is just a friend, what is acceptable as far as contact? When the relationship is a mutual friendship I still tend to initiate more contact than the guy does. How does a man perceive this? Any ideas?

M2LR

Now that I am older, well, 27, I would. I think that I am comfy enough in my own skin that I would be able to actually do it.

When I was younger and still dating, I wouldn't even think of it and I would wait for the guy to come to me.

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BookishCurly

I am more comfortable with the guy asking me out.
I don't think I will ever be comfortable in my own skin or feel attractive enough to make the first move. If a man comes up to me and asks me out, then I know he is serious and wants to get to know me.

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scubagal

I am still trying to figure out how to ask my cute neighbor out... if he didn't live here and I just saw him out, sure... no problem, but since I know I have to see him again, I want to at least try to determine if there is any vibe first.... before I make a complete ass of myself.

naturalt

I wouldn't be with the man I'm with now if I hadn't made the first move and been aggressive about it. He had all kinds of reasons why we shouldn't go out- I was an intern and he was full time, I was moving back to NJ and he lived in CO....he had laundry to do . I am not normally aggressive like that when it comes to relationships, but I really felt a spark with him.

I voted, Yes, who not.

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mrspoppers

I have made the first move and sometimes it worked. More often than not, though, the guy wasn't interested. It wasn't (I think) that he thought I was too pushy, it was that if he really wanted to date, he would have asked me.

I guess I'd continue to make the first move if I felt like it--nothing ventured, nothing gained. And some guys really are just shy.

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NetG

This definitely falls under the kind of situation where I *hope* I'd be able to figure out it was time to make the first move. It's an example of an exception to my rule.

And good for you, NatT, 'cuz he sounds like a great guy!

__________________
The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
-Speckla

But at least the pews never attend yoga!

brookly

I'm traditional. I want the guy to do the asking.

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curls&amp;swirls

Does the phrase "the woman is the neck and she can turn the head anyway she wants" count? I just realized it's been 12 years since I put the moves on anybody other than the sure thing I married . Before that, I liked to be the one that made the first move, because it put the game on a level playing field IMO.