Which of us are job hunting?

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Have you thought of doing some volunteer work just to get yourself focussing on something else for a few hours a week?

Walking the dogs at the SPCA is one of my favorites. You might find something that can lead to real work too.
Originally Posted by SusieSuze
I volunteer at church with my youth group, but it's only once a week. I would love to do something with animals, but I'm HIGHLY allergic to most dogs (which makes me so sad.) I've been looking around for office work in the area that might need help, but there isn't too much. I did volunteer with this great Holocaust foundation in the city a few times, but it costs me so much to get up there just for the day so it's not really worth it.

I'm going a bit south to a nice shopping grove to put in more applications today.

I actually WOULD like to wait tables just to say I did it but you can't even get those jobs without experience...(but how do they expect you to get experience if you're never given your first job?)
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
I've found that most higher end restaurants will look at you more favorably as a waiter if you have either hosted or bussed tables in the past. The tips aren't good, but it'll get you experience.
Originally Posted by Like.Australia
I tried to be a host at a pub last year...they had me come in once...told me to come in the next Saturday...then called and said they didn't need me...and I never heard from them again! I finally called about a week later and they told me their old hostess came back. Ugh. Rude.
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,530
It's looking like my next project may fall through. I'm trying to branch out into web marketing, but not sure how things will develop.

Very annoying and worrisome to once more be in this position.
Crossing fingers, toes and eyes that it will work out for you ND.
ninja dog likes this.
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CIBC and Anna - I hope as the year starts it turns out well for you both! I keep checking the thread to see if something good has happened for you and everyone who is continuing the difficult search.

The economy is supposed to improve. Hope hope hope!
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
CIBC, you should just move to DMV, because it seems like everyone and their mom is hiring down here. I walked into work yesterday and whaddya know, it's new hire Monday-on-a-Tuesday again.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

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Join Date: Mar 2008
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Thanks, cp.

So glad all is well for you!
curlypearl likes this.
I didn't sleep for a single second last night. I feel like my heart is about to pound out of my chest.

My gosh, I am trying so hard. The parttime jobs aren't even calling me. I really just feel hopeless and the things running through my head have been awful lately.

I'm really really scared. I just need something to turn around soon.

Last edited by CanItBeChristine; 01-06-2012 at 10:24 AM.
CIBC- you know you have many friends here. I didn't see the comment posted by the troll (thankfully), but you know they were trying to upset you. Please do not let that bother you! We all know how hard you are trying. Soon luck will be on your side-believe me luck and timing are a big part of this. Please try to relax! It's amazing how much your self esteem suffers when you're unemployed---it's not fair!!


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I had a dream last night that I went on a job interview and started hysterically crying about how frustrated I was to the person interviewing me.

And then I started getting all these phone calls (in the dream, not in real life) cancelling interviews I had lined-up because they heard I was the girl who cries in job interview.

Ughhhh.

Not much analyzing has to be done with that one...
My former boss had told me I could probably come back in six months when he left me go (fourteen months ago.)

However, he did not call me to come back, even though I let him know I was still well unemployed.

But he did hire THREE more young men.

He is notorious for hiring these attractive young man and often takes them out for steak and lobster dinners/to expensive theatre and some of these guys seem repulsed by him but others eat it up and use it to their advantage and bat their eyelashes at him.

He would also OFTEN me online on porn sites, usually things like "teen muscle men" and stuff. (Not making this up. We'd always catch him. Sometimes he'd lock the door and go to town on himself for hours.)

This is disgusting and I should be thrilled I'm not dealing with him anymore, right? But I'm not. I know any job I go to next will treat me with more respect. But I don't have a job and my confidence has seriously been ripped to shreds. I want to call him and scream at him, and say, "Interesting that I had to be let go but you hired three young men!!! I wonder what they have that I don't!"

I want something bad to happen to him. I hate that he's made me be this bad person, because I'm not a bad person...but I really really hate him. I hate that my former coworkers blindly follow him in whatever he does, despite how bad he is.

It's just not fair. It's so not fair. I feel like it's not worth it to work hard and be a good person, because he's the worst person I've never known and the most successful.
CIBC, would you trade in being a good person for success? Would you be comfortable having things and a job but not being able to look at yourself in the mirror and like yourself?

Your old boss sounds like a pathetic loser. No matter how materially successful he is, based on what I see here, he sounds as though he must be an absolutely miserable individual. Trust me, if you could view him objectively, you would only feel disgust and pity toward him at this point. I don't expect you to view him objectively, by the way. That's a pretty tall order. Just trying to put it in perspective a bit.

I can see you struggling with this notion that once you get a job, or find a boyfriend, or get married, or have kids, or make it big, or your mom or sis comes to you for help, or all of the above, you will finally, at last, be happy. I cannot emphasize this enough, so please forgive the all caps, but THAT IS THE BIGGEST LOAD OF B.S. EVER. It's a line of B.S. we are sold and we repeat to ourselves and it's just utter nonsense and a waste of time.

Some people waste their entire lives never being happy, just being convinced some day they will be, once everything falls into place. And then they manage to get just about everything to fall into place, and find themselves wanting more. And more. And more until they are dead. All because they never learned to live in the present and create happiness within themselves.

None of that brings happiness. None of it. Only we can make ourselves happy — not another person or another thing. It's a cliche because it's true.

So life has thrown you a curve ball. ["Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." — John Lennon] Right now, yes, your life is hard. What should you do about it? LEARN. Right now you are supposed to be learning. What can you learn from this experience? What part of yourself can improve because of it? How can you become more YOU — a stronger, wiser you?

Just from my gut, what I really think life is telling you right now is to LET GO. Let go of the outcome. Let go of your expectations. Stop striving so much. Accept the situation. If it makes you sad, accept that. Feel sadness, then let THAT go. Practice letting go every single day. Try meditation. It's a good way to learn how to let go and accept things as they are.

I saw from another post you're on Facebook. I think you should "like" this page:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Recov...s/267632435343

It's for people in recovery from addiction. I'm not in recovery, but I find the quotes they post really inspiring and helpful, and I think you would too. Here are some:

Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve Peace. - Rubina, Global Healing Exchange

The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want I'll be happy."

You can never start the next chapter of your life, if you're too busy re-reading the last one.

Other people are not responsible for our happiness. They also are not responsible for our unhappiness. - Jim Hartness

Also, are you still writing down what you're grateful for? It got me through my unemployment recently. I don't know what I would have done without it. Can't recommend it enough. It's another way to cultivate acceptance — accepting and acknowledging the good in your life, which is not always easy to do, especially for those of us who struggle with depression.

I wish you well, CIBC.

Last edited by wild~hair; 01-09-2012 at 11:50 AM.
Thank you...

I just read a book about "Dating optimism" and I would like to apply it to life in general...how you just need to be happy NOW instead of waiting until the perfect guy (or job or money or whatever) come. I liked the part about doing what makes you happy even if it won't bring a guy or anything else you think might make you happy into your life. Like hanging-out with all my gay male friends or my niece and nephews and little cousins won't bring me a job or success or guy, but if it makes me happy for the moment, that's what matters.

I'm going to my "Change Your Thoughts" group every week and my instructor actually told me I was doing a great job on my way out. I really don't know the difference between faking it until you make it and completely deceiving yourself.

Right now I'm feeling just so annoyed that I'm not even getting-out for part-time jobs! Nobody is calling me. I'm absolutely not saying I'm above any of it, and I'd gladly take it at this point just so I can be out in the world again.

Maybe I'm taking what happened with my last job and boss so badly because it's showing me the true colors of an industry I thought I loved and wanted so much to be a part of. Maybe everybody in this industry is like him. And maybe everybody else are like my former coworkers, blindly following somebody like him. It would have gone so far had they just checked-up on me a couple of times, just to see how I was doing or something. They knew how upset I was when I lost my job. I hate that somebody like him inspires such fierce loyalty.
wild~hair likes this.
So, I had plans to go to the city on Thursday and see a show I'm dying to see and get-out of my head, and called my best guy friend and asked if he wanted to get lunch and another friend for dinner.

Then I realized that my old office was having an opening night right next door to the one I was seeing.

I emailed my best guy friend (he used to work with me) and told him I had to cancel Thursday because, and he's allowed to roll his eyes but also has to understand that I have to do what I have to do and I'd rather stay totally clear of the theatre district that night before I once again feel the salt in wounds which I am desperately trying to keep closed right now, and asked if we could reschedule for Friday.

Then I remembered I had a dinner with one of my meetup groups on Friday.

I wrote back to him, "Universe's way of forcing me to go on Thursday and not let (Crazy Bossman) own Broadway?!"

He told me to stop being crazy.

I need to stop being crazy.
I have reached a point of job search futility where I'm seriously pondering the idea of just never finding a job, and starting to have kids instead. My husband has a Ph.D. in a hard science and works for a great, big, stable company, so his salary is of the level where we don't *need* me to have a salary. It's nice, but not required (and I know what a luxury that is).

It's not an entirely ridiculous thought, because a part of me has always wanted to stay home with my kids when I had them, I'm 28 and have been married for 5 years at this point, and we've been seriously talking about kids lately.

I have to decide if that would make me feel like I'm wasting my college degree or not.
I have reached a point of job search futility where I'm seriously pondering the idea of just never finding a job, and starting to have kids instead. My husband has a Ph.D. in a hard science and works for a great, big, stable company, so his salary is of the level where we don't *need* me to have a salary. It's nice, but not required (and I know what a luxury that is).

It's not an entirely ridiculous thought, because a part of me has always wanted to stay home with my kids when I had them, I'm 28 and have been married for 5 years at this point, and we've been seriously talking about kids lately.

I have to decide if that would make me feel like I'm wasting my college degree or not.
Originally Posted by cmb4314
No such thing as a waste!

And you never know...I don't know how many kids you want to have, but the economy has to turn around at some point and you can go back to work after they're in school.
So, I had plans to go to the city on Thursday and see a show I'm dying to see and get-out of my head, and called my best guy friend and asked if he wanted to get lunch and another friend for dinner.

Then I realized that my old office was having an opening night right next door to the one I was seeing.

I emailed my best guy friend (he used to work with me) and told him I had to cancel Thursday because, and he's allowed to roll his eyes but also has to understand that I have to do what I have to do and I'd rather stay totally clear of the theatre district that night before I once again feel the salt in wounds which I am desperately trying to keep closed right now, and asked if we could reschedule for Friday.

Then I remembered I had a dinner with one of my meetup groups on Friday.

I wrote back to him, "Universe's way of forcing me to go on Thursday and not let (Crazy Bossman) own Broadway?!"

He told me to stop being crazy.

I need to stop being crazy.
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
I think you should go anyway. Crazy Bossman doesn't own Broadway. You might be surprised. Running into him, facing him, might be really freeing. I've found that when I face the boogeyman/woman rather than running from him/her, I get to take back my power. (I'm tired and can't think of a less self-helpy way to say this at the moment.) The boogeyman/woman is always less scary when you face him/her.
3B corkscrews with scatterings of 3A & 3C.
I had two interviews today, both for part-time work. I felt like at least one of them went well, but I hope I get both.

*crosses fingers*


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So, I had plans to go to the city on Thursday and see a show I'm dying to see and get-out of my head, and called my best guy friend and asked if he wanted to get lunch and another friend for dinner.

Then I realized that my old office was having an opening night right next door to the one I was seeing.

I emailed my best guy friend (he used to work with me) and told him I had to cancel Thursday because, and he's allowed to roll his eyes but also has to understand that I have to do what I have to do and I'd rather stay totally clear of the theatre district that night before I once again feel the salt in wounds which I am desperately trying to keep closed right now, and asked if we could reschedule for Friday.

Then I remembered I had a dinner with one of my meetup groups on Friday.

I wrote back to him, "Universe's way of forcing me to go on Thursday and not let (Crazy Bossman) own Broadway?!"

He told me to stop being crazy.

I need to stop being crazy.
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
I think you should go anyway. Crazy Bossman doesn't own Broadway. You might be surprised. Running into him, facing him, might be really freeing. I've found that when I face the boogeyman/woman rather than running from him/her, I get to take back my power. (I'm tired and can't think of a less self-helpy way to say this at the moment.) The boogeyman/woman is always less scary when you face him/her.
Originally Posted by journotraveler
Thanks...I know the odds are slim that I'll run into him, I think it's more that I know the opening will be going-on and I won't be there as a part of it. Those were my favorite aspects of that job and what I miss most.

When he let me go and told me I could come back in six months, I kept telling myself, "You'll be doing SO GREAT in six months that it will be a JOKE for you to consider going-back to him!" I hate that those six months came and went...then another six months came and went...and I'm not in this awesome place.

(I was using the same tactic when I had a heartbreak last year...I was walking in the Village and telling myself, "You are going to run into him on this exact street in the not so distance future and you're going to be on the way to a premiere of your new play and you're going to be with your amazing boyfriend...")

I know things can STILL end-up going great. I know it's not over. I'm just being impatient. I want them going great now!
I just sent-out about 10 emails along the lines of, "Hello, Happy New Year. We interviewed last year and our interview went great. Just checking-in to see if there is anything opening up. Remember me. Remember me. Please remember me."
I know things can STILL end-up going great. I know it's not over. I'm just being impatient. I want them going great now!
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
There you go again.

I'll say it again: stop striving. Let go of any outcomes. Accept what is. Stop struggling against your reality.

I can tell you live in your head. I've done this as well, more so when I was younger. It can be a good thing, a fertile imagination, an escape. But it can also get you in a lot of trouble, mental health wise. And as a coping mechanism, it can become a crutch, and an excuse not to participate fully in your reality.

Here's an alternate activity I suggest: do a gratitude check. [Yes, I'm still harping on it.] What is going great right now? I challenge you to find 5 things. I can find 5 things you could be grateful for, just by reading your posts here. If I can do it, so can you.

It's very powerful to let go and fully accept what is, it's transformative. But you have to really do it. You have to commit.

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