Which of us are job hunting?

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Well...

I was reading stories about her online all night. (There's A LOT!) It freaked me out.

I consider the relationship I had with my last boss to be an abusive one, which lasted for three years, but I stayed because I loved my job and I loved being in that industry and part of me felt like if my boss felt like somebody cared about him, he'd change. (So dumb, huh?)

So...the thought of walking into another abusive boss relationship was upsetting me and I was wondering if I should just not GO because then I won't be faced with some decision.

Part of me was even worried that she'd make fun of me or yell at me at the interview.

I did not sleep.

At. All.

Like...not for a single minute. I conked-out on the train for a little while.

I got there at 9 AM on the dot.

We just talked and talked and talked for almost the entire hour!

She's clearly brilliant, hilariously funny and really beautiful!

I feel like we really hit it off. She kept saying how fantastic my cover letter was, how I'm clearly a wonderful writer and then went on and on about all the other kinds of applications she got, and how nice it was to get somebody who was so funny and smart and well-written.

She knows I want to focus on my writing as well and thought that was great. I was able to talk about my last job a lot and how much I got from it.

Seriously, she just made me feel like Jerry Seinfeld...she was ROARING at me!

She kept saying how much she wanted somebody very funny that she could talk to and her last words to me as I left were, "...I bet we could have A LOT of fun together."

I sent her more references, and included a certain famous actor friend of mine, even though I was never technically his assistant, but he always credits me as being his "original" publicist who really got the word about him out 10 years ago.

Seriously, she was awesome!

I left in a really great mood and even if it doesn't work-out and I don't get the job, she just might be a very good person to have on my side!
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
So her office called to talk to me further...asked incredibly weird questions (what my college GPA was, and three times, if I was from Long Island. ?????)

Apparently, she really really LOVED me...we'll see.
After having what I thought was a pretty good interview I got yet another rejection letter!!

What is wring with me that no one wants me!! I'm so bummed out about this. All I want is someone to give me a chance. I was hoping to get some good news today seeing it was Canada day.

I have no confidence anymore after being rejected so many times. I'm almost considering going home to fund something but that means ending my relationship here in England. If I had my way, I'd have my fiancée move to Canada with me. I know he wouldn't because his parents getting on and need the help.

No one wants me
Originally Posted by Trixie1979

I'm so sorry. I really do know how you feel. It really does a number on your confidence that nobody else can really understand unless they've been there.
After having what I thought was a pretty good interview I got yet another rejection letter!!

What is wring with me that no one wants me!! I'm so bummed out about this. All I want is someone to give me a chance. I was hoping to get some good news today seeing it was Canada day.

I have no confidence anymore after being rejected so many times. I'm almost considering going home to fund something but that means ending my relationship here in England. If I had my way, I'd have my fiancée move to Canada with me. I know he wouldn't because his parents getting on and need the help.

No one wants me
Originally Posted by Trixie1979

I'm so sorry. I really do know how you feel. It really does a number on your confidence that nobody else can really understand unless they've been there.
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
+1
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
Also, want to apologize for the insanely depressed posts I have contributed. I type to let-off steam here and then read things back and realize how bad I sound.

I know it's just a rough patch...I just feel very detached from the entire world right now and it feels like nothing is going right. I took what happened with that guy really, really badly because he was such a great friend for so many years that I just don't get how it's so easy for all of these people to just drop me and forget about me. I guess I'm just really struggling self-esteem wise and it's hard, especially since I'm so incredibly bored and anti-social.

Thank you all for all of your support.
Also, I'm really really really trying to just think more positively. I reread THE SECRET last week and then my former boss announced several new projects in the same week.

I sent him a two-line email wishing him the best on all of them and saying I was looking forward to seeing them.

He wrote RIGHT back and told me to come visit.

I'm wondering if he wants to bring-up the possibility of me coming back? (since they're indeed busier now). That's actually a decision I'd have to struggle with.........................

I actually felt A LOT better sending him a nice email. It makes you feel better to wish somebody well than hope they fall off of a cliff.
Oh, CIBC, I feel badly that you are apologizing. If you can't let off steam and be honest about your depressed feelings, I feel like I can't be frank either! I'm not expressing this terribly well. Maybe if I say it in reverse - if you (you personally or gy) feels safe enough here to let it all hang out and express your inner feelings, ecstatic or miserable, it kind of gives others permission to do the same.

I hope I am making sense. I do understand what you are saying, but I always feel this is a place where we can be ourselves, and not feel the pressure to fake it in any way. I have to fake it a lot with people - I don't want them to know how scared or sad or angry I am a lot of the time - but I don't fake it here. It's very hard and a chore to put on a happy act all the time. I have to pretend when I am on interviews and often I pretend with my family and friends so they won't be burdened. Here I can be me and it's a relief just to be me - frizz, warts and all.

Sending (((HUGS))) - and acceptance.

ETA the warts are psychological not physical
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift

Last edited by curlypearl; 07-01-2011 at 09:06 PM.
Yeah you have no reason to apologize at all. You have to be able to vent somewhere.

This phone makes accurate punctuation unnecessarily difficult.
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

Thanks CIBC and curlyperl. It means a lot to know other people are going through rough patches.

And fingers crossed for you CIBC!! Talk about strange questions.....my first interview here he went from what are your strengths to what's your sign. I was not expecting that at all!!


Oh, CIBC, I feel badly that you are apologizing. If you can't let off steam and be honest about your depressed feelings, I feel like I can't be frank either! I'm not expressing this terribly well. Maybe if I say it in reverse - if you (you personally or gy) feels safe enough here to let it all hang out and express your inner feelings, ecstatic or miserable, it kind of gives others permission to do the same.

I hope I am making sense. I do understand what you are saying, but I always feel this is a place where we can be ourselves, and not feel the pressure to fake it in any way. I have to fake it a lot with people - I don't want them to know how scared or sad or angry I am a lot of the time - but I don't fake it here. It's very hard and a chore to put on a happy act all the time. I have to pretend when I am on interviews and often I pretend with my family and friends so they won't be burdened. Here I can be me and it's a relief just to be me - frizz, warts and all.

Sending (((HUGS))) - and acceptance.

ETA the warts are psychological not physical
Originally Posted by curlypearl
Awwwe, thanks so much curlypearl.

I know exactly what you mean...I have a very close male friend (there's a thread analyzing him here somewhere...) who is probably the most solid, dependable man I have ever had in my life. He has been SO supportive, but I'm also scared if I let on how depressed I was, he'd really have it with me and just never talk to me again because he wouldn't want to deal with it. I know that's not true, but it's something I worry about...so whenever I talk to him I do try to be all, "I'm GREAT! Enjoying my time off! Everything happens for a reason!"
My crappy 12 hour a week job really wants me gone, and they're being so passive aggressive about it.
They give me terrible shifts: closing on Thursday and Friday, which means I won't be home until almost ten because I drive like an hour to get there. Which seems ridiculous for a retail job. I'm spending more on gas than I'm making.

They (and by 'they' I mean the managers and the owner) are like, "have you found another job yet? How's the job hunt going? Everyone had to take hour cuts when the other store closed and we're trying to give you hours but it's hard..."

And everyone from the other store (myself included) transferred to this one and because I'm the most recent hire (I started in April), their loyalty is limited.

I almost wish they'd grow a pair and fire me. I hate being there while they make me feel guilty for "taking hours." Blaah.

I wish I knew people who knew people.

This phone makes accurate punctuation unnecessarily difficult.
Last relaxer: 8.4.10
BC: 9.6.11

when will your favs?

I've been wanting to read the secret but never got around to it. Think I'll see if they have it at the library here.

Something has to give soon....I'm down to about £3 in my bank and £17 in my wallet but that has to go to the dentist Tuesday. I just don't know what I'm going to do!!


Just got screamed at for an hour by my mother.

I have zero ambition.

I have done nothing with my life.

I have to grow up.

Three years isn't a long time to be at a job (I think it is...but because she's only been at jobs for over 10 years, I'm wrong.)

I can't hold a job.

All I do is make mistakes.

I can do no right in her eyes. The fact that I have been off-Broadway and nationally published...it means nothing...because I was not paid six figures for it.

I can't stop crying right now. When the one person who is supposed to love you thinks you're a waste of space, how do you go on? I can't take it anymore.
I physically and emotionally can't take it anymore. People are ALWAYS commenting that I'm the most ambitious person they know, that I've probably done more than anybody else my age...but my mother just looks at me and sees failure failure failure.

I feel so, so terrible. I can't take her anymore. I can't take THIS anymore.

I'd also like to point out that NO OTHER WOMAN in my family has EVER supported herself until she had a man so it's not like my sister ever did a thing on her own until she was moving in with her boyfriend. Every single job she's ever had she's gotten due to connections and didn't have to interview for. She has never had to go through what I did.

I'm so sad. I feel so badly about myself.

She kept screaming at me the my last job was a HUGE mistake, but I wouldn't have traded those three years for ANYTHING. I met amazing people, did great things, my boss financed my off-Broadway production, I met one of my best friends in the world.

I hate that she hates me so much. I hate that she thinks I'm such a failure. I don't know what I did to earn this.
I physically and emotionally can't take it anymore. People are ALWAYS commenting that I'm the most ambitious person they know, that I've probably done more than anybody else my age...but my mother just looks at me and sees failure failure failure.

I feel so, so terrible. I can't take her anymore. I can't take THIS anymore.

I'd also like to point out that NO OTHER WOMAN in my family has EVER supported herself until she had a man so it's not like my sister ever did a thing on her own until she was moving in with her boyfriend. Every single job she's ever had she's gotten due to connections and didn't have to interview for. She has never had to go through what I did.

I'm so sad. I feel so badly about myself.

She kept screaming at me the my last job was a HUGE mistake, but I wouldn't have traded those three years for ANYTHING. I met amazing people, did great things, my boss financed my off-Broadway production, I met one of my best friends in the world.

I hate that she hates me so much. I hate that she thinks I'm such a failure. I don't know what I did to earn this.
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine

This makes me sad. Please dont let people make you feel this low!!
CibChristine...

I just started reading this thread.. Only the last few pages and I can't help saying I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

It sounds like your mother is really your worst enemy-- if you can cut off communication with her for a while it would probably be best. You do not need someone cutting you down when you're trying to build yourself up. Is there any way to stand up to her?

You seem to know a but about the law of attraction. You know that what you believe you will a achieve. You MUST stop berating yourself!! You have lots of brilliant things about you and you need to see these things and focus on them!! Focus on the kind of job and employer who values these things.

Worrying is like praying for what you don't want-- stop worrying!!

Focus only on the good that you are.

Do not allow any poisonous thoughts into your head and DO NOT let your mom abuse you any more (thats what she's doing!)

Good luck and big hugs.
Thanks soooooooooo much everybody...really.

I wish I couldn't remember how happy I was and how good I felt about myself this time last year It was my first big production in the city and I KNEW it was "just the beginning", but now I'm looking back and thinking, "Well, that was it. That was the most success I'm ever going to get." I know I can't think that way, but that's how I feel. I felt so good about myself, I was so happy, surrounded by so many people who were so excited and proud of me and now I just feel a total 180 from all of that.

My mom is going through her own issues and I know she's just projecting all of her anger about her own life on me. She kept throwing my age at me and saying I had nothing to show for it, but I'm also not 60-years-old and gave-up a GREAT career in order to retire with a man who was cheating on me for ten years. (Like she did!) She has to be angry at herself and feel like she has screwed-up her own life.

She had Dr. Phil on and I was barely listening and she went, "Are you LISTENING to this? I hope you are..." and the woman was saying that she can't get a job because she's unattractive and has frizzy hair...so, I'm unattractive and have frizzy hair and if only I wasn't, I'd have a job!

She really needs to find a job of her OWN, but she's online 24/7 on dating websites because, as we all know, being single is the most tragic thing in the entire world.
CIBC, I almost can't believe your mother would speak that way to you. How to kick you when you're down. That is so undermining.

I agree with SuzieSuze that you should cut off all communication for a while if you can. Why drink in all that poison? It's horrible for you and counterproductive.

I'm totally in your corner and thinking of you. (((HUGS)))
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift

My mom is going through her own issues and I know she's just projecting all of her anger about her own life on me. She kept throwing my age at me and saying I had nothing to show for it, but I'm also not 60-years-old and gave-up a GREAT career in order to retire with a man who was cheating on me for ten years. (Like she did!) She has to be angry at herself and feel like she has screwed-up her own life.
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
Oh D, I can't believe shes behaving like that. Well, yes I can. Just keep reminding yourself of the above and that she most likely jealous of all that you have done in such a short time, and here she is at 60 having to pretty much start over.

You must hate hearing it at this point, but there is something so amazing waiting for you just around the corner. Its terrible having to go through all this in the mean time, but it will be something amazing when it happens.

I'm home all day....shoot me a message if you wanna chat and I'll give you a call
I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Audrey Hepburn
I'm so sorry CIBC that you had to go through all that with your mother. It's hard building your confidence up with out your mom dumping on you. Wish there was something I could say to help.


Applying for a job that prefers bilingual, bi cultural students and it deals with immigration/international students. If this job doesn't fit me to a T, I don't know what does.

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