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-   -   Spinoff: Do you have to be interested in your SO's work? (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/non-hair-discussion/1891-spinoff-do-you-have-interested-your-sos-work.html)

Confused Curly 04-26-2004 07:43 PM

Spinoff: Do you have to be interested in your SO's work?
 
My friend was checking out some guy who emailed her on some internet dating site. He works at Boeing or Lockheed or Rocketdyne - one of the local aerospace plants. He wanted to give her the tour of the plant. Apparently, he does something hi-tech and top-secret because only US citizens can take the tour.

She was like, "I don't know if I should call him. That sounds so not interesting." She is the artsy type who is into poetry and things like that. I would probably enjoy the tour of the plant but would DIE if I had to tour Deloitte and Touche!

I've never had to make that choice because no accountants have ever asked me out. :lol: As long as he was intelligent, interesting, had things in common and had common values, I can't say that it would matter to me within my preferences discussed in the degree thread.

What about you?

curlyarca 04-26-2004 07:50 PM

I'd say yes. I like to know what the guy I'm dating does and why he does it. Sometimes I think I have a general understanding of what someone does, but when they explain it I realize all of the little intricate details I'm missing. Plus, people like to talk about their jobs and what goes on at work, and I'd like to be a sounding board sometimes if the guy wants to talk; knowing a bit about what he does kinda helps.

Another thing: sometimes what someone does will be their life's work. I would feel not so good if my SO didn't care or wasn't interested in what I could potentially be doing for the rest of my life. I think work defines people alot in this country....usually one of the first things someone says after the introduction is "what do you do?"

NetG 04-26-2004 11:08 PM

Heck no, it doesn't matter-for me.

As an engineer (and I'd probably find this guy's work interesting, but that's because I'm a geek!) I would prefer a guy who isn't interested in my work, because I would rather talk about which politician's making a fool of himself, how we can achieve world peace, stuff like that, when I'm not at work. I have 40+ hours a week to talk about my job already.


Now, if I'm having coworker problems, I would like my SO to be supportive and be a sounding board for how to deal with people-but that's an occurence regardless of career, and that's more him having an interest in me.

It's wierd to me that he'd want to take your friend on a tour, though. Particularly if he doesn't know her yet, and he wants to give her a tour already. He's allowed to give her a tour at all, if it's so top secret? Red flags-something sounds wrong about that to me!

Of course, I just don't like guys who exaggerate things because they feel a need to make themselves sound good, and that has nothing to do with career.....

Confused Curly 04-26-2004 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NetG
Heck no, it doesn't matter-for me.

As an engineer (and I'd probably find this guy's work interesting, but that's because I'm a geek!) I would prefer a guy who isn't interested in my work, because I would rather talk about which politician's making a fool of himself, how we can achieve world peace, stuff like that, when I'm not at work. I have 40+ hours a week to talk about my job already.

Exactly. I thought his work sounded interesting, too but I'm weird.


Quote:

Now, if I'm having coworker problems, I would like my SO to be supportive and be a sounding board for how to deal with people-but that's an occurence regardless of career, and that's more him having an interest in me.
Just about anyone in any job can relate to that. Co-worker problems, boss problems. I bet even GW Bush vents to Laura about Cheney. :lol:

Quote:

It's weird to me that he'd want to take your friend on a tour, though. Particularly if he doesn't know her yet, and he wants to give her a tour already. He's allowed to give her a tour at all, if it's so top secret? Red flags-something sounds wrong about that to me!
My thought was - "His 'Cheney' is too small and he is trying to show-off to compensate!"

NetG 04-26-2004 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wavy-Curlyincali
Quote:

It's weird to me that he'd want to take your friend on a tour, though. Particularly if he doesn't know her yet, and he wants to give her a tour already. He's allowed to give her a tour at all, if it's so top secret? Red flags-something sounds wrong about that to me!
My thought was - "His 'Cheney' is too small and he is trying to show-off to compensate!"

You shouldn't make me laugh so hard when I'm recovering from bronchitis! :evil:

geeky 04-27-2004 07:28 AM

Not me. As long as I don't find what he does for a living morally reprehensible, and as long as he can talk about things besides his job, it does not really matter.

PartyHair 04-27-2004 07:32 AM

I vote "no". My husband has one of those Chandler Bing jobs - something with contracts...I don't even know. He only has a vague idea of what I do, which is fine. As someone else said, I don't want to talk about work at home. I have 40 hours per week to talk about it with people who aren't bored to tears by it. Why inflict it on him when there are a million other things to talk about? :)

Jenny C 04-27-2004 07:34 AM

Please - I'm barely interested in my own job, never mind someone elses.

Sometimes my fiance will start talking about his job and I just pretend to listen. If he's talking about boss or co-worker problems then I'll listen, but when he just starts talking about the details of what he's doing when I call or what he did that day I don't know what he's talking about so it's hard for me to really be interested.

That said, I think the tour would be kind of neet.

Mephisto 04-27-2004 07:42 AM

I voted no but with the following addendum... you don't have to be "interested in" a SOs employment in terms of understanding specifically what he does... the ins and outs of the business, etc. However, you should, as any "spouse/BF/GF" should... be interested in his job in terms of how his day went... allowing him/her to brag about the business, what he does, etc. and lending an ear when he wants to talk about things good or bad.

That's what we're here for.

I think it's the same for any topic.

I can remember a specific instance that SO pissed me off with my spouse. My two younger brothers play in a serious, organized rough-touch football league. They're very athletic, very good, and a pleasure to watch play.

One night, I had gone to see one of their games. The next day, I was talking about the previous night with her, talking about how well they did and how much fun it was to still watch them play.

I was off-handedly dismissed with an "I really don't care." :roll: Gee, thanks for a few minutes of your time to just quietly nod and be receptive to my excitement about it.

I would never expect her to be interested in the game. However, I would expect her to listen to my experience and how exciting/fun it was to still watch them play. There is a difference. It's the same reason why I listen to things like the events and "Party Lite" candle demonstrations... the particulars of disagreements with her sister, etc. You lend an ear. You show an interest in how they are feeling at a particular moment, even if you don't actually "care" about Party Lite candles or what, specifically, the sister did to piss her off today.

That's my long-version answer to the query.

goldy 04-27-2004 09:05 AM

i think you should be interested in it enough so that you can ask how their day went, everyday. and when they respond actually listen to their answer.

Mephisto 04-27-2004 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldylocks
i think you should be interested in it enough so that you can ask how their day went, everyday. and when they respond actually listen to their answer.

If I could have figured out how to write it... this reply would have been my short-version. :D

NetG 04-27-2004 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mephisto

If I could have figured out how to write it... this reply would have been my short-version. :D

Wow. And I was debating whether or not to type that if I could have figured out how to write it your answer would have been my long-version reply, Meph!

Sounds like a bunch of us are in agreement. :D

curlyincanada 04-27-2004 09:42 AM

Respecting what the other person does is important.

Beyond that, I think it depends on the people involved.

When I was in Pharmacy, I dated an Engineering student who always called down what I did and thought he was superior to me because of our chosen paths. Regardles of our other problems, that alone ensured we would never make it as a couple.

I think if you are too interested or are in the same field, it can be tough not to talk shop. T and I have the same degree but work in very different settings. I understand what he does, enough so to have a meaningful conversation with him about it. However, since I don't do the exact same thing, I'm not invested enough in it to interfere with having personal time. The same is true with T and my career.

PartyHair 04-27-2004 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goldylocks
i think you should be interested in it enough so that you can ask how their day went, everyday. and when they respond actually listen to their answer.

Yup. I think that's more taking an interest in your partner. What's important to him is important to me, and if that involves talking about his work stuff, then that's great.

ShrekLover 04-27-2004 09:53 AM

I voted yes, but that was because I feel the same way as goldilocks and mephisto. It's very important for SO's to be able to share with each other. I do ask my husband EVERY day how his day was. We do work for the same company, but as someone said I'm barely interested in my own job. I do it because he enjoys talking about his job, which he actually likes.

geeky 04-27-2004 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sdcurly
I voted yes, but that was because I feel the same way as goldilocks and mephisto. It's very important for SO's to be able to share with each other. I do ask my husband EVERY day how his day was. We do work for the same company, but as someone said I'm barely interested in my own job. I do it because he enjoys talking about his job, which he actually likes.

I see that as being interested in one's SO, not their work. Btu that's just semantics.

Confused Curly 04-27-2004 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geeky
Quote:

Originally Posted by sdcurly
I voted yes, but that was because I feel the same way as goldilocks and mephisto. It's very important for SO's to be able to share with each other. I do ask my husband EVERY day how his day was. We do work for the same company, but as someone said I'm barely interested in my own job. I do it because he enjoys talking about his job, which he actually likes.

I see that as being interested in one's SO, not their work. Btu that's just semantics.

Exactly.

I do want to add that I would care if; as someone said, his job was morally reprehensible or something I can't respect. For example, I could not be married to Mark Geragos. He represents people I find dispicable. UGH! I'm glad Mikey dumped his @$$! :twisted:

Meph, at the very least she could have pretended to listen. It's not the game that's important, you are. I think she forgot that for a second. I hate football but I always listen to how exciting seeing "the big game" in person was. When so and so scored a field goal with two seconds remaining and whatnot.

Thankfully, we no longer have an NFL team in LA. :dance:dance.gif If my next SO is not a soccer or hockey fan, I'll do well because I actually like baseball and basketball. I might even be able to make a comment or two.

mrspoppers 04-27-2004 08:51 PM

My husband and I met at work and are therefore in the same industry. I think that's to our detriment because we can talk for hours about work and then there's no time to talk about the important stuff. We now have a pact not to talk about work beyond "how was your day" unless it's something really important and not shop talk.

I come from the land of Boeing so I'm used to not understanding what a lot of people do at work (two sisters and three BILs work there). That said, I'd probably go on a tour of a plant if it was someone I knew but would think it was weird if it was someone I didn't know. I think a plant tour would be interesting. :oops:

cmh6476 04-28-2004 11:17 AM

I'm in politics, and this is a very interesting question.

Obviously, my job takes a lot of my spare time, and I'm just starting to see this chick and it helps that she enjoys some of the stuff I do. I'm a die-hard Repub, and every candidate I help or function I attend is for the party.

While I would not force it upon any chick I date to be that engulfed in the party politics, nor would I care if the chick I was dating was not interested and did not want to help, but it does help when a chick is interested about your place of employment and what you do and stuff like that!

It would be very very very hard for me to date a chick that was involved in dem politics as I am in Repub politics.

Don't know if that helps, but I hope it does! :wink:

GuardianB 04-28-2004 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmh6476
I'm in politics,

Translation; I'm full of BS :lol:

Code:

Hey how bout them Royals


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