Thats a Nice 18th Birthday Present: Off to the Strip Club

Can he even get in? I know here you can't get in until you're 19....legal drinking age!
Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian
The legal drinking age is 21 everywhere in the US. But, some stip clubs don't serve alcohol, so that 18 and above can be admitted (I think, its not like I frequent strip clubs or anything ) Also, lots of areas have different zoning laws, like if they don't serve alcohol, the women can be totally nude, whereas if they do serve alcohol, the women have to have bottoms and pasties on. Someone correct me if I am wrong on this.
Can he even get in? I know here you can't get in until you're 19....legal drinking age!
Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian
The legal drinking age is 21 everywhere in the US. But, some stip clubs don't serve alcohol, so that 18 and above can be admitted (I think, its not like I frequent strip clubs or anything ) Also, lots of areas have different zoning laws, like if they don't serve alcohol, the women can be totally nude, whereas if they do serve alcohol, the women have to have bottoms and pasties on. Someone correct me if I am wrong on this.
Originally Posted by micheller
Funny, funny laws
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Funny, funny laws
Originally Posted by CurlyCanadian
My friends in Flint would always go over to Canada to drink until they turned 21...cant remember of the name of the city right now..
I'd be super pissed at the BIL and husband's friend. No, I wouldn't allow them to take my son to a strip club at 18. If my (hypothetical) 18 year old decides to go on his own with his friends without me knowing about it, there's not much I can do about it, but I'll be damned if a supposed adult in my family circle would get away with doing that. Man, I'd be mad...just the thought of them trying to "break my son in" would infuriate me.

And the other posters are right...strip clubs that admit 18 year olds are the type that don't serve alcohol, but have total nudity...and often a lot of other services. When liquore licenses are involved, there is more regulation.
He's 18(or will be). It's not your business anymore. I wouldn't like it though.
Originally Posted by internetchick
I wouldn't allow it as a parent. First of all 18 is still young to me, secondly no matter how old I guess I wouldnt be that 'cool' of a parent to allow it because I don't like the concept of strip clubs. If he goes, he goes but it doesnt have to be with the parent aiding him.
Originally Posted by Josephine
That's the thing I don't get. If the person is over 18, what can you really allow or not allow? If they are under your roof being provided for that's different.
Originally Posted by internetchick
Yea but they usually are and in the OPs case it sounds like her son is not financially independent. I didnt know that many kids in college who didnt have parents support financially. And even if kids are supporting themselves, 18 is still young. I really don't understand the magical powers of 18 either.
Originally Posted by Josephine
ita.

a coworker had a friend of hers tell her that since her son turned 18, she should go smoke a joint with him...uh...ok?

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My brother in law and my husbands best friend want to take my son to a strip club for his 18th birthday which is in two weeks. I am NOT having it.

We arent fighting about it because...........well he is MY son and he isnt going, but I have been called over protective, smothering, hovering, and not will to let go.

Would you be upset? Fight it? Do you think this is something you would be okay for your 18 year old son? How about your 18 year old daughter?
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
Just curious...are you okay with your husband going to strip clubs? If so, then mayyyybeI can see why his friend and brother would even suggest it(even though it's still stupid to me) but if not..it makes no sense to me.
NO WAY. I would NOT allow this for my son or my daughter. YOU are the mama and he lives under your roof, so those other people don't get a say! And I also do not see the "18 year olds have the go-ahead to do what they want" thing, especially when he's under your roof, dependent on you, and still in school.

I think the adults around him need to be adults. What is wrong with taking him out to dinner and a movie or a show? And no, I don't think strip clubs promote healthy attitudes.
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I'd be super pissed at the BIL and husband's friend. No, I wouldn't allow them to take my son to a strip club at 18. If my (hypothetical) 18 year old decides to go on his own with his friends without me knowing about it, there's not much I can do about it, but I'll be damned if a supposed adult in my family circle would get away with doing that. Man, I'd be mad...just the thought of them trying to "break my son in" would infuriate me.

And the other posters are right...strip clubs that admit 18 year olds are the type that don't serve alcohol, but have total nudity...and often a lot of other services. When liquore licenses are involved, there is more regulation.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
To me its not the age but what I bolded above that I agree with. I think I must have funny views on boundaries with adults and young people because I don't think mixing and hanging out in this way is okay.
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I have an issue with him using it as a milestone, as if it's some sort of priviledge to pay to see naked women. If I were the 18 year old in question, I would NOT want my first strip club experience to be with members of my family! That's embarassing. They could just give him a ciggie to commemorate the event too. JK. :P
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Agree with RCW and Aries - those would be my concerns, too.
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I can think of much nicer gifts to give a son who's turning 18. It's rather creepy to me, actually. Did your son ask for that as a birthday present or is it something the men are putting forward? Does he have a girlfriend, and what does she think?
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It's not a big deal to me. Most 18 year olds are already sexually active, so seeing some naked women is hardly a big step. I went to a couple before I turned 21.

I know my friend's dad wanted to take him to strip club when he turned 21 (it was my friend's mom's idea if you can believe that) but he didn't want to go.

You've been his mom all this time and I'm sure you've done a great job raising him. Just let your son know that he doesn't HAVE to go to be one of the guys, but I'd let him make his own decision. I doubt one night at a strip club will ruin him. The worst that'll probably happen is everyone will end up over-paying for all those Red Bulls and Snapples the 18-and-over clubs have.
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If I were the 18 year old in question, I would NOT want my first strip club experience to be with members of my family! That's embarassing. They could just give him a ciggie to commemorate the event too. JK. :P
Originally Posted by Aries_jb
That was my first thought EXACTLY. I would be totally weirded out by going somewhere like that with anyone related to me.

Hell, I feel weird enough when I'm watching a movie with a few racy scenes (sometimes only one, even) and my dad happens to wander in at just that scene and only that scene. Seems to happen every time...
What's your son's opinion? Does he want to go? Does he have a gf now? I'm sure he is curious to know what goes on in one. I'm sure he's seen naked women before. But before you just flat out say no he can't go just because I'm the parent, you live under my roof and I say so, I would talk to him about it and use it as a reinforcement about teaching him about respect for women.

Say to him I don't want you to go because I don't want you to learn how to treat women with disrepect or seeing them only as sexual objects. It would disappoint you knowing he went because that's not how you raised him. Maybe he will not want to go after you tell him how it would upset you.
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...worse than all of that, is Dad and Uncle have set you up to be "the bad guy." That's a shame.

I have no problem with strip clubs. I would have a problem with the scenario you described. I'm "the dad" and just because you turn 18, you're not suddenly my "hangout buddy" with whom I'm going to spend time at bars and/or strip clubs. I still have to try to set a good example and be a "leader" and not be his pal.
The good people do is interred with their bones. Their mistakes live on forever...
...worse than all of that, is Dad and Uncle have set you up to be "the bad guy." That's a shame.

I have no problem with strip clubs. I would have a problem with the scenario you described. I'm "the dad" and just because you turn 18, you're not suddenly my "hangout buddy" with whom I'm going to spend time at bars and/or strip clubs. I still have to try to set a good example and be a "leader" and not be his pal.
Originally Posted by Mephisto


It's not the dad, it's her BIL and her husbands friend. So maybe these people hang out with the kid "like" a friend. Or maybe they'll just think it's funny, b/c I imagine most guys have the experience of going to a strip club once they're of age - so I could see it as a right of passage sort of thing.

And strip clubs, even the ones that serve alcohol, allow you in when you're 18. There are a lot of clubs around here that allow you in at 18, you just obviously can't drink.

I think some people are blowing this totally out of proportion. It's a strip club, it's not a brothel. It's really not a big deal.
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It's not the dad, it's her BIL and her husbands friend. So maybe these people hang out with the kid "like" a friend. Or maybe they'll just think it's funny, b/c I imagine most guys have the experience of going to a strip club once they're of age - so I could see it as a right of passage sort of thing.
Originally Posted by babywavy
I never quite understood the "rite of passage" mindset, but I guess to each his/her own.

And strip clubs, even the ones that serve alcohol, allow you in when you're 18. There are a lot of clubs around here that allow you in at 18, you just obviously can't drink.
Originally Posted by babywavy
I assure you that this rarely works. In the NA clubs, it is typically BYOB... and then you risk BIL and Friend thinking that is "no big deal," either.

I think some people are blowing this totally out of proportion. It's a strip club, it's not a brothel. It's really not a big deal.
Originally Posted by babywavy
To some it is a big deal. For me it wouldn't be (with the understanding that it isn't currently dad as I had thought). I don't think that there is a whole lot mom can do to stop it, but I respect her desire to not give her tacit approval. Frankly, I think he'll go and find out "what's the big deal" on his own. Strip clubs are often a big waste of money for guys who find pleasure in giving away their hard earned money for essentially... nothing.
The good people do is interred with their bones. Their mistakes live on forever...
...worse than all of that, is Dad and Uncle have set you up to be "the bad guy." That's a shame.

I have no problem with strip clubs. I would have a problem with the scenario you described. I'm "the dad" and just because you turn 18, you're not suddenly my "hangout buddy" with whom I'm going to spend time at bars and/or strip clubs. I still have to try to set a good example and be a "leader" and not be his pal.
Originally Posted by Mephisto

ITA.
I'd be super pissed at the BIL and husband's friend. No, I wouldn't allow them to take my son to a strip club at 18. If my (hypothetical) 18 year old decides to go on his own with his friends without me knowing about it, there's not much I can do about it, but I'll be damned if a supposed adult in my family circle would get away with doing that. Man, I'd be mad...just the thought of them trying to "break my son in" would infuriate me.

And the other posters are right...strip clubs that admit 18 year olds are the type that don't serve alcohol, but have total nudity...and often a lot of other services. When liquore licenses are involved, there is more regulation.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
To me its not the age but what I bolded above that I agree with. I think I must have funny views on boundaries with adults and young people because I don't think mixing and hanging out in this way is okay.
Originally Posted by afrosheenqueen
I completely agree. And no you're views are not funny.
Hell, I feel weird enough when I'm watching a movie with a few racy scenes (sometimes only one, even) and my dad happens to wander in at just that scene and only that scene. Seems to happen every time...
Originally Posted by ClaireD
Haha this is sooo me and I'm almost 30..and when I mean racy, I just mean a heavy makeout session!

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