Thats a Nice 18th Birthday Present: Off to the Strip Club

My brother in law and my husbands best friend want to take my son to a strip club for his 18th birthday which is in two weeks. I am NOT having it.

We arent fighting about it because...........well he is MY son and he isnt going, but I have been called over protective, smothering, hovering, and not will to let go.

Would you be upset? Fight it? Do you think this is something you would be okay for your 18 year old son? How about your 18 year old daughter?
Oh hell no. No body would be taking my child to a strip club (male or female). Maybe I am over-protective or overly sensative or a prude or whatever they would want to call me but hell no. I think it's setting a bad example for him and telling him that it's okay to look at women soley as sexual objects and it's okay to treat them that way. The same with if I had a daughter...I don't want her to think that men are only there to be looked at as sex objects and that's it. NO no no no no no.
"It's hard to remember a time, when I didn't have you", Richie Sambora
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Just curious...what is the big deal?
Just curious...what is the big deal?
Originally Posted by tantrum

he has time to do adult things. I dont believe in rushing him just because he is turning 18. I dont consider it a right of passage. This boy is still in the process of being raised and he isnt an adult by any stretch of the imagination.
He's 18(or will be). It's not your business anymore. I wouldn't like it though.
I don't know. In my family, we're really open and have really healthy attitudes toward the opposite gender, whichever it may be in each person's case, and my brother has nothing but the utmost respect for women, as I do for men. My mother would be fine with my brother going to a strip club when he turned 18. Hell, she bought him a playgirl to give to me when I turned 16 as a joke. I'm not saying that's right for everyone, though.
Under construction.
Internetchick

I must disagree. As long as I continue to provide heat, lights, gas, food, and shelter, it is my business and will continue to be my business as long as I take care of him. What he does when he leaves my house is another story. But he will not graduate from high school for another 2 years, so its not like he is going off on his own any time soon.

I asked this question on another board and some of the responses were the same as yours. I dont get washing hands of your kids just because they turn 18. It really isnt a magical number and all of a sudden all your decisions are your own.
I don't know. In my family, we're really open and have really healthy attitudes toward the opposite gender, whichever it may be in each person's case, and my brother has nothing but the utmost respect for women, as I do for men. My mother would be fine with my brother going to a strip club when he turned 18. Hell, she bought him a playgirl to give to me when I turned 16 as a joke. I'm not saying that's right for everyone, though.
Originally Posted by Befrizzled
we have very healthy attitudes towards each gender. We dont have a problem with nudity although we are modest, I mean no one walks around naked and I have been known to streak from the shower to the bedroom when Ive forgetten my towel.

I dont understand how having a naked woman shake her **** and ass in my son's face is having a natural and healthy attitude.
Does HE want to go, or is he uncomfortable with it? I mean, if he's 18, and he wants to go, then he has the opportunity to go all on his own. I imagine these family members just want to be there to break him in (so to speak). I can understand not being entirely happy about it, being his mom and all, but he IS legally going to be an adult at 18, whether you feel he's mature enough to be considered an adult or not.

I'm sure I'd roll my eyes repeatedly over the situation, but I don't think I would forbid it. Then again, I don't have an 18 year old son, so I don't know how I'd react.
~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
Internetchick

I must disagree. As long as I continue to provide heat, lights, gas, food, and shelter, it is my business and will continue to be my business as long as I take care of him. What he does when he leaves my house is another story. But he will not graduate from high school for another 2 years, so its not like he is going off on his own any time soon.

I asked this question on another board and some of the responses were the same as yours. I dont get washing hands of your kids just because they turn 18. It really isnt a magical number and all of a sudden all your decisions are your own.
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
If you are still providing for him, that is different. And I don't see it as washing your hands of your kids. When a person is over 18(and out on their own paying their own way) what they do is up to them not you. That doesn't mean you can't advise and guide, but it is in a much different capacity.
Internetchick

I must disagree. As long as I continue to provide heat, lights, gas, food, and shelter, it is my business and will continue to be my business as long as I take care of him. What he does when he leaves my house is another story. But he will not graduate from high school for another 2 years, so its not like he is going off on his own any time soon.

I asked this question on another board and some of the responses were the same as yours. I dont get washing hands of your kids just because they turn 18. It really isnt a magical number and all of a sudden all your decisions are your own.
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
If you are still providing for him, that is different. And I don't see it as washing your hands of your kids. When a person is over 18(and out on their own paying their own way) what they do is up to them not you. That doesn't mean you can't advise and guide, but it is in a much different capacity.
Originally Posted by internetchick

this we agree on, but that isnt our situation
I don't know. In my family, we're really open and have really healthy attitudes toward the opposite gender, whichever it may be in each person's case, and my brother has nothing but the utmost respect for women, as I do for men. My mother would be fine with my brother going to a strip club when he turned 18. Hell, she bought him a playgirl to give to me when I turned 16 as a joke. I'm not saying that's right for everyone, though.
Originally Posted by Befrizzled
we have very healthy attitudes towards each gender. We dont have a problem with nudity although we are modest, I mean no one walks around naked and I have been known to streak from the shower to the bedroom when Ive forgetten my towel.

I dont understand how having a naked woman shake her &%$@#! and ass in my son's face is having a natural and healthy attitude.
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
I can't say the strip club's activities promote a healthy attitude, but the point was the my mother wouldn't care because she knows my brother has his head on straight, and if he went with friends or my uncle or something, she wouldn't really care. But again, I'm not saying that's right for everyone.
Under construction.
I don't think you completely wash your hands of your child when they're 18 - I think as they're approaching that age, you're giving them more room, and more responsibility so that when they reach 18, if they DO decide to go out on their own, they will be as ready as you could have made them.

As far as the things an 18 year old could do, get into trouble for, experience, or make mistakes with, I think going to a strip club would be the least of my worries.
~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
I don't think you completely wash your hands of your child when they're 18 - I think as they're approaching that age, you're giving them more room, and more responsibility so that when they reach 18, if they DO decide to go out on their own, they will be as ready as you could have made them.

As far as the things an 18 year old could do, get into trouble for, experience, or make mistakes with, I think going to a strip club would be the least of my worries.
Originally Posted by babywavy
He is a good kid, responsible, respectful, doenst give me an ounce of trouble. He has had a lot of good raising. He does get freedom and can make some of his own choices. So you are right, this *IS* the least of my concerns, especially since he isnt going
I don't think you completely wash your hands of your child when they're 18 - I think as they're approaching that age, you're giving them more room, and more responsibility so that when they reach 18, if they DO decide to go out on their own, they will be as ready as you could have made them.

As far as the things an 18 year old could do, get into trouble for, experience, or make mistakes with, I think going to a strip club would be the least of my worries.
Originally Posted by babywavy
He is a good kid, responsible, respectful, doenst give me an ounce of trouble. He has had a lot of good raising. He does get freedom and can make some of his own choices. So you are right, this *IS* the least of my concerns, especially since he isnt going
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac

~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
He's 18(or will be). It's not your business anymore. I wouldn't like it though.
Originally Posted by internetchick
I wouldn't allow it as a parent. First of all 18 is still young to me, secondly no matter how old I guess I wouldnt be that 'cool' of a parent to allow it because I don't like the concept of strip clubs. If he goes, he goes but it doesnt have to be with the parent aiding him.
He's 18(or will be). It's not your business anymore. I wouldn't like it though.
Originally Posted by internetchick
I wouldn't allow it as a parent. First of all 18 is still young to me, secondly no matter how old I guess I wouldnt be that 'cool' of a parent to allow it because I don't like the concept of strip clubs. If he goes, he goes but it doesnt have to be with the parent aiding him.
Originally Posted by Josephine
That's the thing I don't get. If the person is over 18, what can you really allow or not allow? If they are under your roof being provided for that's different.
He's 18(or will be). It's not your business anymore. I wouldn't like it though.
Originally Posted by internetchick
I wouldn't allow it as a parent. First of all 18 is still young to me, secondly no matter how old I guess I wouldnt be that 'cool' of a parent to allow it because I don't like the concept of strip clubs. If he goes, he goes but it doesnt have to be with the parent aiding him.
Originally Posted by Josephine
That's the thing I don't get. If the person is over 18, what can you really allow or not allow? If they are under your roof being provided for that's different.
Originally Posted by internetchick
Yea but they usually are and in the OPs case it sounds like her son is not financially independent. I didnt know that many kids in college who didnt have parents support financially. And even if kids are supporting themselves, 18 is still young. I really don't understand the magical powers of 18 either.
You have very right to prohibit this - especially since he is still in high school, and will be for 2 more years. If he was 18 and in college, living in a dorm, you might have another issue, because at some point you have to let go and let them make choices for themselves. But since he is under your roof, in high school, and totally dependent on you - momma rules.
Can he even get in? I know here you can't get in until you're 19....legal drinking age!
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