Golden Penis Haters...Join Me, Won't You...

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I think affection is always good. When a child feels insecure then that is when they will act out most. There are Mama boys who have Mom's who are enablers. This is what my Mom was. My brother was always in trouble outside of the home & she always made excuses for him. He is a Father & a Grandfather & he doesn't have a clue. His children & grandchildren have real problems that he blames on everything, but them or him. My ex's Mom was a wonderful Mom, but felt that no woman was good enough for him. My ex had nothing to do with me or our children & she wanted to make sure that I was taking care of him & he was happy. She wasn't like that with her daughters. She assumed that their husbands would take care of them. I think alot of that was that she expected him to take care of her in her old age. She wanted to make sure she was the priority. Now that we are divorced & he has married, according to her, the ***** from Hell, she appreciates me.
AKA lotsawaves
AKA new2curls
I CAN see this happening naturally, and of course I'll thoroughly enjoy any son I had being somewhat attached to me, especially since my daughter has so kept me at arms length, but I don't want to nurture that behavior either. As disheartening as it is to see my kids act as they don't "need" me, I'd much rather have them grow up to be independent.


Nurture what behavior? Affection? It's normal and healthy for kids to desire affection and closeness with their parents. They really shouldn't be pushing away too much until they are pre-teens/early-teens. I'd worry about kids who aren't that way, and I think it would cause more harm than good for a parent to withhold affection in the early years thinking they are discouraging unhealthy adult behavior later.

Independence is something kids start doing a little at a time, generally. Some reach it sooner, some later. Parents can encourage independence and still give affection and stay tightly bonded to their children. The trick, I think, is not to be your child's ultimate-problem-solver, but to encourage them to solve their own problems, and to recognize when they are overly-relying on you to problem solve for them at an age/stage when they should be doing that for themselves. That's where I think a lot of parents go wrong with adult children. They still want to solve all of Junior's problems, when they really can't/shouldn't.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves

I just meant I like to encourage independence. I certainly would never deny my child attention, and would never push him/her away - but I do like to encourage that they feel comfortable doing things on their own.
~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
Bumping, GP story for Wile from last night at my parent's house.

Story: My 19 year old boy cousin got accepted to Cal Poly and will be leaving at the end of this summer. He has a brother who is 22 and is a member of the Sheriff's dept (both boys have done EXTREMELY well).
My aunt was telling my brother this over the weekend at a birthday party.

My brother, who will be 27 in July and moved out of my parents house 2 years ago, and NEVER went to college (not even JC) tells her, "Well, it's about time you got rid of that one, too..." (Keeping in mind that 19 year old cousin graduated HS LAST June and has been working all year, and going to a local JC for gen ed. etc).

I looked at him like this and said, "Dood, he's 19 and going to college. And, like you should talk, it's not like he's 25 and has been living with mommy and daddy and not working or paying rent since he graduated high school. "

Of course, mom and dad don't comment, and all that my GP bro says is, "Uh, so?" Yeah. Whatever.

Bumping, GP story for Wile from last night at my parent's house.

Story: My 19 year old boy cousin got accepted to Cal Poly and will be leaving at the end of this summer. He has a brother who is 22 and is a member of the Sheriff's dept (both boys have done EXTREMELY well).
My aunt was telling my brother this over the weekend at a birthday party.

My brother, who will be 27 in July and moved out of my parents house 2 years ago, and NEVER went to college (not even JC) tells her, "Well, it's about time you got rid of that one, too..." (Keeping in mind that 19 year old cousin graduated HS LAST June and has been working all year, and going to a local JC for gen ed. etc).

I looked at him like this and said, "Dood, he's 19 and going to college. And, like you should talk, it's not like he's 25 and has been living with mommy and daddy and not working or paying rent since he graduated high school. "

Of course, mom and dad don't comment, and all that my GP bro says is, "Uh, so?" Yeah. Whatever.

Originally Posted by M2LR & Co.

LMBO! See these are the moments that make for great SNL skits straight off the family with no reworking. Would it be too much if you bought a mini cowbell or gong to ding everytime GP says something ironic. I'm pretty sure this won't be your last opportunity LOL.

By the way, I had a question, can there be two golden peni (is it penises?) in the family or do they suddenly become dueling penises - or maybe they cancel each other out, self combust?
Bumping, GP story for Wile from last night at my parent's house.

Story: My 19 year old boy cousin got accepted to Cal Poly and will be leaving at the end of this summer. He has a brother who is 22 and is a member of the Sheriff's dept (both boys have done EXTREMELY well).
My aunt was telling my brother this over the weekend at a birthday party.

My brother, who will be 27 in July and moved out of my parents house 2 years ago, and NEVER went to college (not even JC) tells her, "Well, it's about time you got rid of that one, too..." (Keeping in mind that 19 year old cousin graduated HS LAST June and has been working all year, and going to a local JC for gen ed. etc).

I looked at him like this and said, "Dood, he's 19 and going to college. And, like you should talk, it's not like he's 25 and has been living with mommy and daddy and not working or paying rent since he graduated high school. "

Of course, mom and dad don't comment, and all that my GP bro says is, "Uh, so?" Yeah. Whatever.

Originally Posted by M2LR & Co.

LMBO! See these are the moments that make for great SNL skits straight off the family with no reworking. Would it be too much if you bought a mini cowbell or gong to ding everytime GP says something ironic. I'm pretty sure this won't be your last opportunity LOL.

By the way, I had a question, can there be two golden peni (is it penises?) in the family or do they suddenly become dueling penises - or maybe they cancel each other out, self combust?
Originally Posted by marielle448
I would think that it would be a constant competition. My brother tries to compete with me. I mentioned last night that my husband recently applied for a job that would bring in a pretty hefty raise, I mentioned the percentage, and he was trying to figure out what that would be in relation to HIS salary (my parents always comment on when he gets raises and that he's "doing so good" and blah blah blah). So, I think that sometimes he tries to compete...however, I do not have/am not the GP, nor the Golden Vagina.
do they suddenly become dueling penises

New signature line...
My 42 year old brother managed once again NOT to graduate from college. He didn't tell Mom 'til the morning of his graduation! Like, as they were getting ready to go to the ceremony. So Mom told him how disappointed she was (like he gives a ****), told him to call the college on Monday to find out when he can retake the two classes he flunked, and to get a job.

He's 42. Lives with my mother. No job. Hasn't had a job in about 3 years. I have no idea how he explains all this to my niece.

So supposedly he's jobhunting, but whatever. I'll believe it when Mom tells me she's met his boss.

And yet, does he help Mom AT ALL around the house? NO, OF COURSE NOT! Why is that? Because he's the Golden Penis, of course!

Geez.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rock on with your bad self.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Having read the rest of this thread, I have to say there's a HUUUGE difference between your boy toddler being reliant and attached to you (the mom), and a grown-ass man who won't get a job and move out his mom's house, and who also won't even take any responsibility in that house.

There's not a damned thing wrong with loving on your boy babies and having a close relationship...but at some point the boy needs to grow up.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rock on with your bad self.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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Good stuff here!
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043
lol @ Golden Vagina...

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Good stuff here!
Originally Posted by WileECoyote - Daddy's grl
Lol y'all are crackin me up!
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043
Me too!
Am I the only one here who married a GP??

Before he got married, DH's family (mom and 2 sisters) never acknowledged any of his non-golden behaviour. Now that he's married, they definitely notice.... of course, its not HIS fault, its mine!

I've corrupted their Golden Penis!
Am I the only one here who married a GP??

Before he got married, DH's family (mom and 2 sisters) never acknowledged any of his non-golden behaviour. Now that he's married, they definitely notice.... of course, its not HIS fault, its mine!

I've corrupted their Golden Penis!
Originally Posted by mad scientist
Sometimes I htink that my hubby is a GP. He has an older brother that lives two hours away, so of course, MIL is the one who sees our kids more, hubby is closer to help her out with stuff, etc.
However, he did do A LOT of stuff in the past that required some tough love on her part, so he might not be THAT Golden in her eyes.
Am I the only one here who married a GP??

Before he got married, DH's family (mom and 2 sisters) never acknowledged any of his non-golden behaviour. Now that he's married, they definitely notice.... of course, its not HIS fault, its mine!

I've corrupted their Golden Penis!
Originally Posted by mad scientist
No offense, but no ****ing way would I have married a Golden Penis. NO.WAY.

My husband is very close to his mom, but he's always had a job, he's independent, etc. I want my husband to be close to his mother, but it has to be a healthy closeness, not a clinging, "I can't get through life without my mommy" closeness.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Rock on with your bad self.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Be excellent to each other. ~ Abraham Lincoln

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I married a Golden Penis, didn't realize he was considered to be the Golden Penis until after we got married and he spent more time with his mommy than he did with me. I then prompted divorced said Golden Penis and he was left to enjoy his golden self, with his mommy, all by himself.
"It's hard to remember a time, when I didn't have you", Richie Sambora
"Boys are bad and men are stupid", WB's
"After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh" Mr. Big
No offense, but no &%$@#! way would I have married a Golden Penis. NO.WAY.
Originally Posted by PartyHair
LOL I think I might be defining a GP differently. DH is a successful (employed) guy.

I just personally think that the women in his family think a little too highly of him.
Am I the only one here who married a GP??

Before he got married, DH's family (mom and 2 sisters) never acknowledged any of his non-golden behaviour. Now that he's married, they definitely notice.... of course, its not HIS fault, its mine!

I've corrupted their Golden Penis!
Originally Posted by mad scientist
No offense, but no &%$@#! way would I have married a Golden Penis. NO.WAY.

My husband is very close to his mom, but he's always had a job, he's independent, etc. I want my husband to be close to his mother, but it has to be a healthy closeness, not a clinging, "I can't get through life without my mommy" closeness.
Originally Posted by PartyHair

Same here. Especially since I have the Golden Vagina! J/K(kinda).

My cousin definitely has the golden penis. He finally graduated college at 27 years old. He has gotten his license suspended in high school for driving while high and probably while drunk too(and drinking is a HUGE no no in our family). He is openly disrespectful to his parents..moved out in his early 20's and his mom sneaked money to him behind her husband's back. He lived with his gf(another big no no) who also happened to be of a different race and religion(no no), knocked her up and his parents threw him a nice wedding. He has 3 girls now(last one was just born last week). His mom basically raises his children while he and his wife work and volunteer(which they dont have time for) and do whatever they want. He is still the perfect child. O yea and when we were kids, he would beat us up and it was our fault because we shouldve stayed in our rooms. And girls are bad - this is all from my aunt. Major sexist. Thank god my mom is not like her!
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Just when I was gonna cut GP some slack...arrrggghhhhh

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Just when I was gonna cut GP some slack...arrrggghhhhh
Originally Posted by WileECoyote - Daddy's grl
You know...

My brother is buying a house with his GF. They aren't married, and I will be damned if I didn't get a ration of ***** when my hubby and I were talking about living together before marriage, let alone buying a house, BUT, ANYWAYS...
When we did buy our house, my dad was pretty admant about getting a home inspection and doing it RIGHT.

Bro. goes and signs papers on this house WITHOUT a home inspection. he was TOO CHEAP to pay for it, and he actually told my husband that he didn't want to fork over the $300 for one. Okay, so $300 is going to be pretty cheap when your roof is leaking and the inspection would have found it and the seller would have had to fix it for you.

Argh.

I guess it will be a "live and learn" situation for him, but not when mommy and daddy have to fork out $$$ to fix his house.

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