I definitely am wary of ex's for this reason. I actually only have one ex, the one I'm speaking of. I wasn't allowed to date in high school, so I didn't have a boyfriend until sophomore year in college. When I knew I was going to start dating DaNa exclusively, I cut off all ties with ex because I knew it wouldn't be the best thing - I still had romantic feelings for him. At this point in my life, 8-9 years later, those feelings are history! We couldn't talk for about 5 years because he still cared for me, and I didn't think it was the best thing even though I had really moved on. Now that he's moved on too, I don't mind him calling, and I really do consider him a friend. The things I liked about him are still there, and those are things that are the foundation for a good friendship.
M2LR, I actually agree with you that as a general rule, it's best not to put yourself in situations that could lead to problems. So, I think I get where you're not understanding it. But, DaNa's thought (and mine) is that I chose him rather than the ex, I never lied to either of them about the other, and he sees that I have no problem completely cutting him off if he attempts to "go there" with me or disrespect DaNa in any way(as evidenced by me not talking to him for 5 years).
DaNa had to cut one ex he knew since kindergarten because she constantly flirted with him, sent crazy pictures, etc, even though she's had her own man for years - she's a brazen hussy, so she had to go! There's another girl, though, that I actually talk to myself and has been to my house since we married. She is a really nice person, and I can see why DaNa would want to maintain a friendship with her; they grew up together as well. She is OVER him, and he is OVER her. It doesn't even cross my mind (except when looking at old pictures, which can be weird, I guess) that they used to date.
I'm glad you can trust your husband even if you don't understand it! There are millions of other women he could be friends with, right?! Why does it have to be this particular person?