View Poll Results: Who initiated your relationship?
He did 23 58.97%
I did 12 30.77%
We were set up by a mutal friend, colleague, etc.. 4 10.26%
Voters: 39. You may not vote on this poll

Spinoff - For married curlies..

Does that seem weird??
Originally Posted by dia99
I guess not if you're all okay with it.

I just never understood still talking to an ex, JMO. My husband has a female friend that he was once interested in and they still talk, they never even dated though. At first I was pretty uncomfortable with it, but now, I don't really mind either way.

I guess I just don't understand it, I guess.
These threads coughed up my ex-boyfriend. He called last night around 8:30 pm. I still speak with him occasionally, but it's always just polite conversation. Well, last night he was in a talkative mood and disclosed all of the following to me:

he cheated on his girlfriend while she was pregnant with their 7-month old daughter

he has "smoke outs" regularly where he smokes weed for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and he doesn't think it's a problem that he does this in the house with his children (one his, two older from the girlfriend)

he is unemployed and a SAHD by default because he's been "let go" twice in the past year

he flunked out of law school (he's always lied about this before)


Thank God He sent me a sign!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could have been his wife!

If you think you're seeing double, I accidentally posted this on the "being married" thread first.
Originally Posted by dia99
Does he live in Toronto? He sounds like my girlfriend's soon to be ex from the ganja to flunking law.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











[ Does that seem weird??
Originally Posted by dia99
No... I have friendships with some of my exes - it doesn't bother my husband because he is very secure and trusts me - I require them to be respectful of him.
He doesn't talk to his exes, but it wouldn't bother me if he did.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











I guess I just don't see a point to it, really. I mean, they are an ex for a reason, and if you were just dating them, and there were romantic feelings involved, I don't know if I would think it would be the best thing, JMO. I do kinda think it's a bit disrespectful on the ex's part...but, again, JMO. And dia, if it doesn't bother you guys, then I am sure it's okay.
I guess I just don't see a point to it, really. I mean, they are an ex for a reason, and if you were just dating them, and there were romantic feelings involved, I don't know if I would think it would be the best thing, JMO. I do kinda think it's a bit disrespectful on the ex's part...but, again, JMO. And dia, if it doesn't bother you guys, then I am sure it's okay.
Originally Posted by M2LR
I definitely am wary of ex's for this reason. I actually only have one ex, the one I'm speaking of. I wasn't allowed to date in high school, so I didn't have a boyfriend until sophomore year in college. When I knew I was going to start dating DaNa exclusively, I cut off all ties with ex because I knew it wouldn't be the best thing - I still had romantic feelings for him. At this point in my life, 8-9 years later, those feelings are history! We couldn't talk for about 5 years because he still cared for me, and I didn't think it was the best thing even though I had really moved on. Now that he's moved on too, I don't mind him calling, and I really do consider him a friend. The things I liked about him are still there, and those are things that are the foundation for a good friendship.

M2LR, I actually agree with you that as a general rule, it's best not to put yourself in situations that could lead to problems. So, I think I get where you're not understanding it. But, DaNa's thought (and mine) is that I chose him rather than the ex, I never lied to either of them about the other, and he sees that I have no problem completely cutting him off if he attempts to "go there" with me or disrespect DaNa in any way(as evidenced by me not talking to him for 5 years).

DaNa had to cut one ex he knew since kindergarten because she constantly flirted with him, sent crazy pictures, etc, even though she's had her own man for years - she's a brazen hussy, so she had to go! There's another girl, though, that I actually talk to myself and has been to my house since we married. She is a really nice person, and I can see why DaNa would want to maintain a friendship with her; they grew up together as well. She is OVER him, and he is OVER her. It doesn't even cross my mind (except when looking at old pictures, which can be weird, I guess) that they used to date.

I'm glad you can trust your husband even if you don't understand it! There are millions of other women he could be friends with, right?! Why does it have to be this particular person?
People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
Just in case anyone missed this and still wants to participate in the poll...

So far, we are at 21 (he did), 12 (I did) and 4 (mutual).....

Lady and Babywavy - I really liked your stories!! Thanks for sharing
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
- Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

(taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)

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