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View Poll Results: When did your parents have their first child?
19 and below 8 11.11%
20-24 30 41.67%
25-29 25 34.72%
30-34 4 5.56%
35-39 5 6.94%
40-44 0 0%
45-49 0 0%
50 and above 0 0%
Voters: 72. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-14-2005, 12:13 PM   #41
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marielle448
It seems these days you hear a lot of people giving lip service to waiting until they're in their 30s and 40s to make momentous decisions and while I'm can understand some have genuine motives, the ones around me seem like they're just delaying any growing up for the longest time possible.
Just because your friends aren't doing things the same way you did doesn't mean they aren't doing things for reasons that are right for them.
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Old 06-14-2005, 12:19 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marielle448

It seems these days you hear a lot of people giving lip service to waiting until they're in their 30s and 40s to make momentous decisions and while I'm can understand some have genuine motives, the ones around me seem like they're just delaying any growing up for the longest time possible.
You make that sound like a bad thing
((runs through room with pointy sharp scissors))

Mum was 16. Let's just say it was not her choice and the damage to her and the resulting daughter is quite evident.
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Old 06-14-2005, 12:28 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WebjockeyGuide
Quote:
Originally Posted by marielle448

It seems these days you hear a lot of people giving lip service to waiting until they're in their 30s and 40s to make momentous decisions and while I'm can understand some have genuine motives, the ones around me seem like they're just delaying any growing up for the longest time possible.
You make that sound like a bad thing
((runs through room with pointy sharp scissors))

Mum was 16. Let's just say it was not her choice and the damage to her and the resulting daughter is quite evident.
oh im sorry. you seam ok.
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Old 06-14-2005, 12:31 PM   #44
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it wasn't me
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Old 06-14-2005, 12:37 PM   #45
 
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PH, for your benefit I'll clarify. These are not people that have some other direction in life or feel they have some greater purpose (from their own lips but also upon observation). The people I had in mind are avoiding all these decisions (like the ones I mentioned, home ownership, a car, a cat, heck even an apartment lease that's more than 9 months old not even mention a kid or marriage). But that's not the main problem, the issue of contention is they do act snooty when they say, "I could NEVER get married in my 20s or have a kid in my 20s" like it's an STD.

No need to get defensive on behalf of the childfree ladies - this was just an example of a trend in attitude I see among a small sector of the childless/comittment free camp. I guess the pendulum swung too far in either direction.
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Old 06-14-2005, 12:40 PM   #46
 
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Originally Posted by marielle448
But that's not the main problem, the issue of contention is they do act snooty when they say, "I could NEVER get married in my 20s or have a kid in my 20s" like it's an STD.
I know SO many people like this. Drives me crazy. Yet they think it's fine to cohabit in their 20's. What's so different between that and marriage?
I mean, to me they are very different spiritually, socially and psychologically not to mention the way they are regarded, the rights afforded to each and so on, but the responsibilities involved in cohabitation correspond to some of those in marriage ie. paying bills, doing chores, resolving arguments etc. If people in their 20's can manage that while cohabiting, then why not in marriage?
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Old 06-14-2005, 03:18 PM   #47
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by curltopia
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amneris
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Originally Posted by curltopia

Anyway, Cehua, I almost didn't vote because of the borderline-snarky "night crew" comment...... But then, I just decided to embrace it :P I guess that I am what I am...........
I don't think the snark was directed at you. And when she said it, I was laughing, but not at you.....
It's not big deal, but thanks for weighing in........... :P
Nope I was not talking about you at all. You just happen to comment on something GB said right after he said that the "night crew" would comment on it. That is all.

You just walked in at a funny Board moment. Perfect timing.
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Old 06-14-2005, 03:23 PM   #48
 
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My mother got married at 23, had her first child (my sister) at 24 and had me at 28.
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Old 06-14-2005, 03:24 PM   #49
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marielle448
PH, for your benefit I'll clarify. These are not people that have some other direction in life or feel they have some greater purpose (from their own lips but also upon observation). The people I had in mind are avoiding all these decisions (like the ones I mentioned, home ownership, a car, a cat, heck even an apartment lease that's more than 9 months old not even mention a kid or marriage). But that's not the main problem, the issue of contention is they do act snooty when they say, "I could NEVER get married in my 20s or have a kid in my 20s" like it's an STD.

No need to get defensive on behalf of the childfree ladies - this was just an example of a trend in attitude I see among a small sector of the childless/comittment free camp. I guess the pendulum swung too far in either direction.
i complete understand your point here.
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Old 06-14-2005, 03:28 PM   #50
 
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my mom was 21 when she had her first child with my dad; he was 31 at the time.

but he'd had his first child about 6 years earlier with his first wife.
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Old 06-14-2005, 03:30 PM   #51
 
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ideally i want kids in my mid 20s to late 30s. i dont want to be over 45 and dealing with babies.
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Old 06-14-2005, 03:40 PM   #52
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marielle448
curltopia now I understand why Cehua got defensive the first time. If you'll reread my comment you'll see that I was referring to "those around me". You know, the people I know in real life.
I got "defensive" the first time because of the bolded part of the quote not because I did not understand what you said:

Quote:
Originally Posted by marielle448
mom was 23 and dad was 25 when they had me (first born).

I was 26 and dh was 33 when we had our first child. I answered for curiosity's sake but I think making the decision to get married, have kids, buy a house, car, etc. are (individually) just very dependent on your stage in life and just slightly on age.

It seems these days you hear a lot of people giving lip service to waiting until they're in their 30s and 40s to make momentous decisions and while I'm can understand some have genuine motives, the ones around me seem like they're just delaying any growing up for the longest time possible.
When you said "but" I assumed that you were thinking that this thread was about people discussing why or why they should have children and at what age they should have them.

Since I know that is a personal reason, I wanted to stay away from that and avoid any board spats criticizing someone's decision to or not to have children and at what age they would have them.

I could not care less about when people have them and wanted to keep the thread “fun” and not controversial or judgmental.

But, that has all been taken care of now.
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Old 06-14-2005, 04:12 PM   #53
 
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My mom was 14 and my dad was 17 when I was born. I was born in the summer '69 - to a couple of in-love, poetry writin', guitar playin' hippies.
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Old 06-14-2005, 04:36 PM   #54
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cehua
I could not care less about when people have them and wanted to keep the thread “fun” and not controversial or judgmental.

But, that has all been taken care of now.

Any time. I'm glad to return the favor you've granted the rest of us many times over.
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Old 06-14-2005, 04:43 PM   #55
 
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My mom was 15 and dad was 28!
Yeah, it was scandalous!
My grandma had no choice but
to consent the marriage.

They just celebrated their 39th Anniversary
and are still very much in love!
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Old 06-14-2005, 05:52 PM   #56
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladydncing
My mom was 15 and dad was 28!
Yeah, it was scandalous!
My grandma had no choice but
to consent the marriage.

They just celebrated their 39th Anniversary
and are still very much in love!
Wow, that is super scandalous It's lovely to hear that they are still together and very much in love...... I guess that there are exceptions to the general rules....
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Old 06-14-2005, 05:57 PM   #57
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My parents were older-it was 1958,they had been married 9 years,and TRYING all that time.
It just finally happened
Mom was 33,dad 36



I was 23-had my first two years after I was married-I wouldn't change it at ALL-I had my three kids by age 30
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Old 06-14-2005, 06:29 PM   #58
 
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My parents were 28 when my older brother was born. I'm the second of five kids. My mom was about to turn 30 when I was born. Going back a generation, my grandmother was 19 when she had my uncle and 21 when she had my mom. I was 18 when I had my first and 20 when I had my second. I'm not having more kids. Ever.
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Old 06-14-2005, 06:54 PM   #59
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My mom was 29 and my dad was 23 when I was born. He was "not ready for a baby", and his mother fully supported him in that. Needless to say, he and my mom did not stay together. My brother was born when my mom was 31 and my stepdad was 33.
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Old 06-14-2005, 11:27 PM   #60
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27 and 29 (almost 28 and 30)

I am the age of their friends' youngest kids.
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