Go Back   CurlTalk > Life > Non-hair discussion

View Poll Results: Do you thing that Long Distance Relationships can work?
Yes, if you were together at first and then had to seperate 7 21.21%
Yes, sure, as long as both people are willing to work at it. 22 66.67%
No, it's too hard. 4 12.12%
Voters: 33. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-14-2005, 02:19 PM   #1
 
onegirlarmy33's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 124
Send a message via AIM to onegirlarmy33
Default LDR's

Just wondering what the general opinion was....
__________________
[3A/2B, wavy]
onegirlarmy33 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2005, 02:51 PM   #2
 
MizKerri's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 4,522
Default

I vote yes, with one stipulation, and this is coming from a girl who was in a relationship for almost 2 years long distance, that ultimately ended up failing miserably. Anyway, my stipulation is that the two of you are commited to having an "end date" as to when the long distance will be over. I was in a position where my boyfriend and I planned on a time for him to move here with me, and every time it came close, it had to be moved out. I was really stupid and let this happen over and over again. It took me a while to figure out that he was leading me on for a very long time. Ugh. I admit I am bitter about it all, and I don't know what your situation is, but if there is an end (to the long distance) in sight, don't let it out of sight.
MizKerri is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2005, 04:19 PM   #3
 
Amneris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 25,108
Default

Yes, that's how my husband and I started out, so it worked for us!
__________________
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











Amneris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2005, 10:09 PM   #4
 
Kelly!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 3,061
Send a message via AIM to Kelly!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MizKerri
I vote yes, with one stipulation, and this is coming from a girl who was in a relationship for almost 2 years long distance, that ultimately ended up failing miserably. Anyway, my stipulation is that the two of you are commited to having an "end date" as to when the long distance will be over. I was in a position where my boyfriend and I planned on a time for him to move here with me, and every time it came close, it had to be moved out. I was really stupid and let this happen over and over again. It took me a while to figure out that he was leading me on for a very long time. Ugh. I admit I am bitter about it all, and I don't know what your situation is, but if there is an end (to the long distance) in sight, don't let it out of sight.
Agree with that stipulation. The SO and I met when we were living somewhat close. He's in the military and right now he's in another country. However, he is being discharged (served his commitment, plus 2 years involuntary re-enlistment...thanks, Dubya ), and we have a date for that discharge that is soooo soon and I can't wait.

That being said, I think LDRs can work with some commitment, and an ending date would be ideal.
__________________
"Love yourselves, nurture your students and make this world a better place by your having been part of it." --J. Howland
Kelly! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2005, 12:38 AM   #5
 
Alexa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 594
Default

I voted 'yes, if worked at'. A friend of mine moved back here 3 months ago. She met a guy @ work 3 years ago, so they already knew each other but had only been dating for about a month when she moved back to her hometown & went back to college(mature student). She lived about 3 hours away, so she only saw her SO about every other w/e but they spoke EVERY day on the phone. They are now living together (they didn't live together before) & are in the process of setting up a buisness together. They seem quite happy but early days I guess.
A similar situation happened to me, I was with a guy who lived here but worked away during the week & everything was hunkydory. When he moved back home & got a job here we drove each other up the wall & needless to say it didnt last! I suppose we just didn't know each other well enough. When we got together at weekends it was always fun & we looked forward to seeing each other but faced with day to day life we just wern't compatable.
__________________
U.K curly

2C/3A Wavy Whirly & Curly Twirly.
Golden brown Aveda colour.
Low poo: Dr Organic, L'Oreal Everpure.
Conditioner: Dr Organic, Boots.
Leave In: Boots, Tigi.
Gel: JF Frizz Ease Spiral
Alexa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2005, 06:02 AM   #6
 
onegirlarmy33's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 124
Send a message via AIM to onegirlarmy33
Default

Yeah, from what I've gathered the "end date" is a big deal. See, my problem is I finally met this friend of a friend who lives, oh a mere 500 miles away. (psha!) And I've talked to him as friends on and off for like 5 years and then this past January, something sparked I guess. Cause now we're like, "Hey, we really like each other!"

I've always wanted to relocate from Ohio - stupid snow - but I don't know if moving JUST for a guy is really that good of an idea. So we're trying to LD thang for about a year or so and then decide if this is worth the sacrifice of uprooting one of us and moving closer to actually date w/out the restriction of distance.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Amneris
Yes, that's how my husband and I started out, so it worked for us!
Amneris, how did you meet your husband? That's great that it worked out for ya!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly
The SO and I met when we were living somewhat close. He's in the military and right now he's in another country. However, he is being discharged (served his commitment, plus 2 years involuntary re-enlistment...thanks, Dubya ), and we have a date for that discharge that is soooo soon and I can't wait.

That being said, I think LDRs can work with some commitment, and an ending date would be ideal.
Kelly, I feel ya, my sister's bf is in the military and was in Afganistan for 10 months 2 years ago. And now in August he's gotta go to Iraq for another 12 maybe 14 months. It's rough. Congrats on his discharge!
__________________
[3A/2B, wavy]
onegirlarmy33 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2005, 06:31 AM   #7
 
Amneris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 25,108
Default

We had known of each other for a while because I was an acquaintance of his sister, and we officially met by chance during the Christmas break when he was home from grad school.

I guess we did have an end date - his graduation - which helped a lot.
__________________
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











Amneris is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2005, 10:34 AM   #8
 
gemini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 4,842
Default

Yes, definitely. You have to sort out trust issues and communicate regularly as well.

DH and I started out with one month of casual dating before he was deployed to the middle east for 5 months. Well, during that time, I wrote him, supported him and he emailed me and called me (he's not a letter writer at all!) After about a month of that, we agreed to be exclusive. When he returned, we had two months before I was to be deployed to Korea and we went through some turbulence. On one hand, he was glad to be back, but on the other, he was unsure if he was ready to endure a year apart being "tied down" to the same person. He wanted us to date other people while I was gone and resume things when I got back, which was a slap in the face to me. I told him that wasn't going to happen and that either we commit or I go to Korea, no strings attached and no expectations to get back together upon my return. Well, he made up his mind.

The year in Korea was probably the most difficult year of my life. I did get 2 weeks to visit in between, but I knew I didn't want to go through that again. He proposed 2 months after i returned,a nd we got married 3 months later. Our last separation was for another deployment (his) to the middle east about 5 months after we married. If you totalled our first 3 years together, you will find that 2 years were spent apart. Not fun!

I think it helps if you can plan visits. Given the distance and the aspect of being in the Army, we really couldn't do it, but I think it would have helped if we could. I also agree that there should be a time where you both know you will be able to be together. I thinka sense of hopelessness would come into the picture if it was an indefinite length of time. I also think you should clearly agree what is okay and what is not acceptable as far as what you do when you're apart. DH and I went through some problems probably because we were separated so soon after we started dating and really didn't have boundaries defined until problems popped up. Overall, we are proof that LDR are not always doomed to failure, it is just requires maturity, patience and lots of communication for success.
__________________
my blog
gemini is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Trending Topics[-]hide

Thread Tools
Display Modes



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:06 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com