Okay, why are you still single?

Its all good ladies. so what do you do when you're lonely?
Originally Posted by O d d i s y~
My lonely times became far less frequent once I made peace with myself and learned how to appreciate my own company.

I'm fairly introverted, though. I know others who reach out to friends or otherwise become more active in the outer world [classes, volunteering, etc.] during those times. Whatever works.
Its all good ladies. so what do you do when you're lonely? Like everyone else out there.. with someone...you know those bad days
Originally Posted by O d d i s y~

I hardly ever get lonely or have the time to but lately there have been a couple times I kinda wish I had someone around to do stuff with(not sure if that really counts or not). If its during the day, I go shopping and buy cool stuff. If it's at night I'll watch tv and go to sleep. If I'm not being lazy I'll clean. It's really helpful to have friends. Sometimes I'll just go over to their places and hang out with them if no one feels like going out somewhere to eat, drink, or dance.
Its all good ladies. so what do you do when you're lonely? Like everyone else out there.. with someone...you know those bad days
Originally Posted by O d d i s y~

1. play with my cat, kinley
2. work on something
3. talk to people

in that order. and npr is always on.
I hate turtlenecks. Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy.

- Mitch Hedberg
... so what do you do when you're lonely? Like everyone else out there.. with someone...you know those bad days
Originally Posted by O d d i s y~
unfortunately, of late, i cry - a lot.

as i said on the similar thread on the over-40 board, i think there must be something fundamentally flawed with me. not only can i not maintain a relationship with a lover, i literally have NO friends. when my phone rings, it's my mother because she needs me to come home, my sister because she's checking up on my mother or telemarketers.

i go shopping, i go to work, i stay at home. there are many weekends when i come home from the office or store on Friday night and never leave again until i'm going to work on Monday morning. i get no invitations to work things - people plan parties and go out together and never include me. i asked once if i could come along and was looked at like i had two heads.

the people that i had met here who i thought were my "friends" decided to spread nasty rumours about me being a drunk last year when i told some of them that i was having surgery. suddenly, i was "lying" about having gynecological surgery. i was actually having "knee surgery from falling down the stairs in my apt. so much in a drunken stupour".

and that's not the first time that something like this has happened to me with groups of "friends".

so, i'm pretty sure, it's got to be me. if only i knew why...
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
Yikes, Rouquinne! What's going on that people are doing this stuff? You need to find some new outlets and ways to meet people: what do you enjoy? Are you an animal person? Volunteer at a shelter. A reader? Join a book club. A walker? There are walking groups that meet regularly.

Expand your options. Go to movies or plays on those weekends when you're free. Or to museums. Take a class. Try yoga. Just do something.........

I sincerely hope things start looking up for you soon.
Yikes, Rouquinne! What's going on that people are doing this stuff? You need to find some new outlets and ways to meet people: what do you enjoy? Are you an animal person? Volunteer at a shelter. A reader? Join a book club. A walker? There are walking groups that meet regularly.

Expand your options. Go to movies or plays on those weekends when you're free. Or to museums. Take a class. Try yoga. Just do something.........

I sincerely hope things start looking up for you soon.
Originally Posted by ninja dog
Everything she said, Rouquinne. You're way too interesting, intelligent and articulate to not have close companions. Get your booty out there!
osocristie
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Its all good ladies. so what do you do when you're lonely? Like everyone else out there.. with someone...you know those bad days
Originally Posted by O d d i s y~
I actually would like more time alone. I have a really fun personality most of the time, so people don't know when to leave me alone. I am fasting from my cell phone this week just to get a break from people. No texting, chatting, or obsessing on seeing of someone called. It has been going well so far.

I am really active with my Bible study group. I enjoy shopping at certain times of the month. I really like going to the grocery store or book store and looking at magazines and books. I go to one of my friend's house and eat dinner and watch tv with her 5 year old daughter. I go over to my co-worker's house and talk about work, then we go and get dessert some where new for the heck of it. If the mood hits me, I cook. I walk on a nature trail near my house. I have so much to do though (I have 1 full time job and 3 mini jobs). It is rare that I get LONELY per se. I have my mom's voice ringing in my ear constantly. She used to say that a person can never really say (she meant us, her kids) that they have nothing to do. She advised us to clean up or read a book. With that, I always find something to piddle around with on days I am at home. Really. I can come up with random things to do. I actually enjoy having alone time, since my job involves working with other people all of the time.
I'm still single because I don't meet many men and they aren't attracted to me anyway.
Yes, my tail is naturally curly.
No, it was NOT me who cried 'wee wee wee wee wee' all the way home.

the people that i had met here who i thought were my "friends" decided to spread nasty rumours about me being a drunk last year when i told some of them that i was having surgery. suddenly, i was "lying" about having gynecological surgery. i was actually having "knee surgery from falling down the stairs in my apt. so much in a drunken stupour".

and that's not the first time that something like this has happened to me with groups of "friends".

so, i'm pretty sure, it's got to be me. if only i knew why...
Originally Posted by rouquinne
it sounds like these people were jerks. their fault, not yours.

i also think it's possible to attract jerks without being the slightest bit jerk-like, oneself. abusive people look for someone quiet, shy, or "different" in some way, to kick around. again, not your fault.

do you have any hobbies or passions you could share with a group of people? like a club or group of some kind (cooking, books, skydiving, whatever). it's hard to feel self-conscious when everybody is working together on something fun.
I hate turtlenecks. Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy.

- Mitch Hedberg
It's very hard to meet people when you work 80 hours a week and don't get out much... probably one of the reasons why I'm still single.

And I never look. It always happens that if I look, I won't find. I let it just happen.

And I have decided that there may be no quality men left. All the quality guys I know are my friends. I'm just going to marry one of them I actually have a running joke that in 2 years, if we are both still single, my best guy friend and I are getting hitched.
Originally Posted by curlygreek
80 hours a week? Is someone else a med studet/resident?
"Well I love that dirty water. Oh, Boston, you're my home!"
I'm still single because I don't meet many men and they aren't attracted to me anyway.
Originally Posted by Piglet
That's exactly how I feel. I don't think I'm ugly, but for some reason, guys aren't attracted to me.
For those who feel like they aren't attracting men physically, I can't really see it. There are just too many women out there who have men and who also appear to be ugly, grossly underweight, grossly overweight, unattractive, etc. for me to believe that no men find you attractive. Might be a case of your needing to look at a broader spectrum of men, or to *put yourself out there* more.

Personally, I attract men when I feel good about my self/my life and am interested in meeting men (for some reason, men can spot indifference very easily; maybe it's an anti-rejection mechanism). I also attract more men when I am thin with longer hair (but attracted plenty when I was heavier with shorter hair too).
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
- Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

(taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)

That's exactly how I feel. I don't think I'm ugly, but for some reason, guys aren't attracted to me.
Originally Posted by cyndi

Cindy...ARE you serious?? You are very good looking. Seriously. I think on your hair alone you should attract a lot of guys. Your face is very attractive also.
I am still single, because I've become a synic about romance, and all the soulmate crap I used to believe in. Besides, it's more fun being single.

Singlehood= freedom+independence
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That's exactly how I feel. I don't think I'm ugly, but for some reason, guys aren't attracted to me.
Originally Posted by cyndi

Cindy...ARE you serious?? You are very good looking. Seriously. I think on your hair alone you should attract a lot of guys. Your face is very attractive also.
Originally Posted by violets
Thank you. I think I'm just having a hard time explaining how I feel. I think I'm attractive, but not the kind of attractive that guys approach.
i also think it's possible to attract jerks without being the slightest bit jerk-like, oneself. abusive people look for someone quiet, shy, or "different" in some way, to kick around. again, not your fault.
Originally Posted by hennabrain
there's a lot of people around here, who've seen me posting for almost 9 years who can tell you that i'm anything BUT shy or quiet.
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
For those who feel like they aren't attracting men physically, I can't really see it. There are just too many women out there who have men and who also appear to be ugly, grossly underweight, grossly overweight, unattractive, etc. for me to believe that no men find you attractive. Might be a case of your needing to look at a broader spectrum of men, or to *put yourself out there* more.

Personally, I attract men when I feel good about my self/my life and am interested in meeting men (for some reason, men can spot indifference very easily; maybe it's an anti-rejection mechanism). I also attract more men when I am thin with longer hair (but attracted plenty when I was heavier with shorter hair too).
Originally Posted by curls on holiday

I agree. Men are not that picky about looks. Unless someone is grossly overweight or hideous, looks can't be the only reason. A lot of it has to do with attitude and the vibe you give off.
...looks can't be the only reason. A lot of it has to do with attitude and the vibe you give off.
Originally Posted by Josephine

I agree. I have a friend who is gorgeous by most people's standards. Hasn't had a guy in years.

The reason? I love the girl but she's obnoxious. Loud, curses a lot, very in-your-face. Especially when she's drunk and especially with guys. I've seen her turn off more than a few guys with that. It goes from to to to in no time.

Looks aren't everything.
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osocristie
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For those who feel like they aren't attracting men physically, I can't really see it. There are just too many women out there who have men and who also appear to be ugly, grossly underweight, grossly overweight, unattractive, etc. for me to believe that no men find you attractive. Might be a case of your needing to look at a broader spectrum of men, or to *put yourself out there* more.

Personally, I attract men when I feel good about my self/my life and am interested in meeting men (for some reason, men can spot indifference very easily; maybe it's an anti-rejection mechanism). I also attract more men when I am thin with longer hair (but attracted plenty when I was heavier with shorter hair too).
Originally Posted by curls on holiday

I agree. Men are not that picky about looks. Unless someone is grossly overweight or hideous, looks can't be the only reason. A lot of it has to do with attitude and the vibe you give off.
Originally Posted by Josephine
I think so. I am not a super model by any means. I am the underweight, not so hot chic. Women and men have told me mean things in my past to help me remember that I am not all that. I can say that the random dudes that have been attracted to me say they love my fun personality and my smile. I am always smiling for some reason. I think happy thoughts. I think that is what opens the door for some men to approach me. One of my nay-saying friends once said that I am always grinning in men's faces. Not true. I am always grinning in everyone's face! I grin in my mom's so much that she tells me to stop grinning. I can't help it!
because i repel the opposite sex.

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