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Old 06-03-2008, 09:48 PM   #61
 
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*sigh* because all the guys im ever really interested in are selfish and afraid of giving me the commitment I want
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Old 06-04-2008, 03:41 AM   #62
 
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I'm still single because I don't meet many men and they aren't attracted to me anyway.
That's exactly how I feel. I don't think I'm ugly, but for some reason, guys aren't attracted to me.

I could have written both of these!
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Old 06-04-2008, 09:45 AM   #63
 
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It's very hard to meet people when you work 80 hours a week and don't get out much... probably one of the reasons why I'm still single.

And I never look. It always happens that if I look, I won't find. I let it just happen.

And I have decided that there may be no quality men left. All the quality guys I know are my friends. I'm just going to marry one of them I actually have a running joke that in 2 years, if we are both still single, my best guy friend and I are getting hitched.
80 hours a week? Is someone else a med studet/resident?
no, I just have two jobs plus I live alone and don't know many people so I'd rather work than sit at home alone and bored

and to go along w/ the personality thing - I think that is partially my problem. I am perfectly fine w/ my personality - I'm kinda loud, very outgoing, very sarcastic, and kind of blunt. But my friends are my friends b/c they enjoy me and I don't feel the need to change. If a guy is going to like me, he will like me for who I am - big personality and all.
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Old 06-04-2008, 10:58 AM   #64
 
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i also think it's possible to attract jerks without being the slightest bit jerk-like, oneself. abusive people look for someone quiet, shy, or "different" in some way, to kick around. again, not your fault.
there's a lot of people around here, who've seen me posting for almost 9 years who can tell you that i'm anything BUT shy or quiet.
ok, sorry. from the way you described the situation, i thought maybe you were being targeted for abuse. i didn't necessarily think you were shy, just that shyness is one of the traits that people target.
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Old 06-04-2008, 12:54 PM   #65
 
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For those who feel like they aren't attracting men physically, I can't really see it. There are just too many women out there who have men and who also appear to be ugly, grossly underweight, grossly overweight, unattractive, etc. for me to believe that no men find you attractive. Might be a case of your needing to look at a broader spectrum of men, or to *put yourself out there* more.

I've been told by someone before that I should put myself out there more (regarding making friends), but I don't even know what that means.

Bianca says her friend turns people off being loud, drunk etc. I never get drunk, rarely swear, have good manners etc. I just don't think men find me attractive.
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Old 06-04-2008, 01:14 PM   #66
 
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I've been single since October, and I just needed a break after a year and a half with an ass. I mean it's not like I haven't wanted to date in between, but I didn't need to. Now I feel like I'm ready to meet someone, not because I fear being alone, or because I feel like everyone else has one. I'm ready. I've built up the confidence some and am ready to just go out and see what happens. But I am definitely ready to meet someone. Hopefully soon I can post about that! lol
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Old 06-04-2008, 04:14 PM   #67
 
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1. i am antisocial

2. rejection SUCKS ASS

3. i have a cat, and thus have secured my status as spinster forever (j/k) :P
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Old 06-04-2008, 07:07 PM   #68
 
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Originally Posted by Piglet View Post
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Originally Posted by curls on holiday View Post
For those who feel like they aren't attracting men physically, I can't really see it. There are just too many women out there who have men and who also appear to be ugly, grossly underweight, grossly overweight, unattractive, etc. for me to believe that no men find you attractive. Might be a case of your needing to look at a broader spectrum of men, or to *put yourself out there* more.

I've been told by someone before that I should put myself out there more (regarding making friends), but I don't even know what that means.

Bianca says her friend turns people off being loud, drunk etc. I never get drunk, rarely swear, have good manners etc. I just don't think men find me attractive.
Putting yourself out there more means increasing opportunities where you will meet new people, potential friends or lovers. So, if your usual pattern is to work and then spend free time alone or within a certain circle of people, the idea is to spend free time with more and different people. Take a class, go to events, ask to be set up on blind dates, hang out in group settings, go to the grocery store or other stores where men are and make eye contact, etc...

From your self description, maybe you are more reserved and men are afraid to come up to you for fear of being shot down and rejected. Not because you are a stunning beauty (although I've seen from a sibling and close friends how intimidated guys are by that). One thing I have really figured out about most men is that hate and fear the idea of rejection. So, if they think it might happen, they cut it off at the pass.
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Old 06-05-2008, 05:33 AM   #69
 
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Originally Posted by curls on holiday View Post
Putting yourself out there more means increasing opportunities where you will meet new people, potential friends or lovers. So, if your usual pattern is to work and then spend free time alone or within a certain circle of people, the idea is to spend free time with more and different people. Take a class, go to events, ask to be set up on blind dates, hang out in group settings, go to the grocery store or other stores where men are and make eye contact, etc...
I love it when curls on holiday puts my thoughts into written words so aptly and I can just say:

ITA

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Old 06-05-2008, 06:18 AM   #70
 
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Because the only guys who pay attention to me do it just for the chase. Once interest is returned, they lose interest. None of them are bankers, apparently.
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:51 AM   #71
 
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A guy friend told me to just simply smile at a guy that I think is cute. He said if the guy isn't a total idiot, he'll take it as an invitation that it's okay to approach me. I never realized that I do not smile at guys most of the time like that. So I'm taking him up on that advice when I get back to town. Hopefully it'll pay off.
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Old 06-05-2008, 08:01 AM   #72
 
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Originally Posted by Amandacurls View Post
A guy friend told me to just simply smile at a guy that I think is cute. He said if the guy isn't a total idiot, he'll take it as an invitation that it's okay to approach me. I never realized that I do not smile at guys most of the time like that. So I'm taking him up on that advice when I get back to town. Hopefully it'll pay off.
Have you read Little Miss Snarky Boohah's blog on that? I think it will be a good warning before you try method

http://booyahlicious.blogspot.com/2008/01/smile.html

Aside from the blogged tragedy, I think that is a fantastic method
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Old 06-05-2008, 08:04 AM   #73
 
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Originally Posted by younggrasshopper View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amandacurls View Post
A guy friend told me to just simply smile at a guy that I think is cute. He said if the guy isn't a total idiot, he'll take it as an invitation that it's okay to approach me. I never realized that I do not smile at guys most of the time like that. So I'm taking him up on that advice when I get back to town. Hopefully it'll pay off.
Have you read Little Miss Snarky Boohah's blog on that? I think it will be a good warning before you try method

http://booyahlicious.blogspot.com/2008/01/smile.html

Aside from the blogged tragedy, I think that is a fantastic method
I can't get to it at work, what's it say?
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Old 06-05-2008, 08:20 AM   #74
 
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Originally Posted by Amandacurls View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by younggrasshopper View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amandacurls View Post
A guy friend told me to just simply smile at a guy that I think is cute. He said if the guy isn't a total idiot, he'll take it as an invitation that it's okay to approach me. I never realized that I do not smile at guys most of the time like that. So I'm taking him up on that advice when I get back to town. Hopefully it'll pay off.
Have you read Little Miss Snarky Boohah's blog on that? I think it will be a good warning before you try method

http://booyahlicious.blogspot.com/2008/01/smile.html

Aside from the blogged tragedy, I think that is a fantastic method
I can't get to it at work, what's it say?
It says this:

It wasn't all bad though. As I was reading Indy's blog (because he gives great insight on the psyche of the male species), I started clicking on random links, which led me to this bit of advice for women everywhere. And do you know, it made sense to me? So simple! A smile! I can do that.

So I'm not the kind of girl to turn down a challenge (as evidenced by The Dreaded Ketchup Incident 2007), so I decided to just see what would happen if I tried his advice.

Again, I am a spaz. (And you can narrow your eyes at me all you want, Miss D , *sir*. I am about to prove this to you. To *all* of you.)

For lunch today, I decided I wanted some soup and the best decaf latte in all of Seattle. There was a boy in line behind me who was kind of a cutie. I then had a little conversation with myself:

Alida to Alida: All you have to do is smile at him. You're a smiley gal. This shouldn't be too tricky for you. You are composed, you are confident, you've been using Quick Dissolve Tooth-Whitening Strips...you're ready.

I can't argue with myself, so I got ready for The Big Smile Experiment, 2008. I ordered my soup, waited for my latte, and kept my face ready, poised to light up at precisely the right moment. Right as the barista handed over my tasty beverage, Cute Boy finished his transaction and got to the door a split second before me.

He held the door open for me as I took a sip of my latte.

I smiled at him, a little smile.

He smiled right back, a full-toothed grin.

Encouraged, empowered, and inspired, I flashed him my biggest, happiest, most confident smile EVER.

And all the latte in my mouth went *cascading* down my chin.

His nice grin turned into a pitying expression of, "Uh. Hm. Did she *really* just spit her latte at me?"

And my smile turned into a resigned expression of, "Yes. Yes I actually *did* just spit my latte at you, sir. And that's about right because that's how I roll."

So he went his way, I went mine, waiting until he'd turned the corner before I furiously tried to dry the latte from my face and shirt, while having a new, more different conversation with myself:

Alida to Alida: Moron.

Indeed.

In my evaluation of The Big Smile Experiment 2008, I see the following hiccups in my methodology:

1) I over thought.
2) I forgot myself.
3) I tried to do more than one thing at a time.
4) I am me.

It's okay though. Lessons were learned today, you guys. Big lessons. Valuable lessons.

Clearly, he was not the guy for me. I'm sure of this. Because if he were the guy for me?

He totally would have taken a quick sip of his green tea and spit it right back at me.
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Old 06-05-2008, 08:40 AM   #75
 
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Originally Posted by Madinat View Post
1. i am antisocial

2. rejection SUCKS ASS

3. i have a cat, and thus have secured my status as spinster forever (j/k) :P
Geez, just ONE cat You still have hope! I have 3 Im lost for good in the love department
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Old 06-05-2008, 08:55 AM   #76
 
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A few reasons:
I am not really looking but I'd be open to a relationship.
I am too busy with school
Right guy hasn't come.

Thats it.
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Old 06-05-2008, 09:08 AM   #77
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Madinat View Post
1. i am antisocial

2. rejection SUCKS ASS

3. i have a cat, and thus have secured my status as spinster forever (j/k) :P
I love cats. They can be really affectionate. They respect your boundaries and ask you to do the same. They don't play mind games, or any of the other things that men do.
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Old 06-05-2008, 11:46 AM   #78
 
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Originally Posted by younggrasshopper View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amandacurls View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by younggrasshopper View Post

Have you read Little Miss Snarky Boohah's blog on that? I think it will be a good warning before you try method

http://booyahlicious.blogspot.com/2008/01/smile.html

Aside from the blogged tragedy, I think that is a fantastic method
I can't get to it at work, what's it say?
It says this:

It wasn't all bad though. As I was reading Indy's blog (because he gives great insight on the psyche of the male species), I started clicking on random links, which led me to this bit of advice for women everywhere. And do you know, it made sense to me? So simple! A smile! I can do that.

So I'm not the kind of girl to turn down a challenge (as evidenced by The Dreaded Ketchup Incident 2007), so I decided to just see what would happen if I tried his advice.

Again, I am a spaz. (And you can narrow your eyes at me all you want, Miss D , *sir*. I am about to prove this to you. To *all* of you.)

For lunch today, I decided I wanted some soup and the best decaf latte in all of Seattle. There was a boy in line behind me who was kind of a cutie. I then had a little conversation with myself:

Alida to Alida: All you have to do is smile at him. You're a smiley gal. This shouldn't be too tricky for you. You are composed, you are confident, you've been using Quick Dissolve Tooth-Whitening Strips...you're ready.

I can't argue with myself, so I got ready for The Big Smile Experiment, 2008. I ordered my soup, waited for my latte, and kept my face ready, poised to light up at precisely the right moment. Right as the barista handed over my tasty beverage, Cute Boy finished his transaction and got to the door a split second before me.

He held the door open for me as I took a sip of my latte.

I smiled at him, a little smile.

He smiled right back, a full-toothed grin.

Encouraged, empowered, and inspired, I flashed him my biggest, happiest, most confident smile EVER.

And all the latte in my mouth went *cascading* down my chin.

His nice grin turned into a pitying expression of, "Uh. Hm. Did she *really* just spit her latte at me?"

And my smile turned into a resigned expression of, "Yes. Yes I actually *did* just spit my latte at you, sir. And that's about right because that's how I roll."

So he went his way, I went mine, waiting until he'd turned the corner before I furiously tried to dry the latte from my face and shirt, while having a new, more different conversation with myself:

Alida to Alida: Moron.

Indeed.

In my evaluation of The Big Smile Experiment 2008, I see the following hiccups in my methodology:

1) I over thought.
2) I forgot myself.
3) I tried to do more than one thing at a time.
4) I am me.

It's okay though. Lessons were learned today, you guys. Big lessons. Valuable lessons.

Clearly, he was not the guy for me. I'm sure of this. Because if he were the guy for me?

He totally would have taken a quick sip of his green tea and spit it right back at me.
Okay, note to self, do not drink something directly before attempting the smile technique! lol
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Old 06-05-2008, 01:20 PM   #79
 
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Frau, there's no way someone as cute as you, and with that dynamite smile, repels men.
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Old 06-05-2008, 01:25 PM   #80
 
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I would also like to add that once on a first date, I held up one hand in front of my face so the guy couldn't see how I was licking the chocolate off the fingers on my other hand (I'd been drinking a messy chocolate martini).

He said, "I know what you're doing, you know."

"No, you don't," I insisted.

He smiled for a while, and then when we left, he gave me what I took to be a "consolation hug," as in "Oh, well. I tried."

Guess who wants to marry me now? That's right --- the man with x-ray vision.

My point is, go ahead and do stupid things in front of guys if you want to. It's a good way of weeding out the pretentious ones.
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