Okay, why are you still single?

*sigh* because all the guys im ever really interested in are selfish and afraid of giving me the commitment I want
Super Thick corkscrews and waves. LOVE Elucence MBC, Giovanni 50/50 condish, Qhemet Products, V05 Calming Chamomile Tea Therapy condish, Jessicurl WDT. These are my official HG's that I love oh so much
http://www.youtube.com/user/Curlypad?feature=mhum

I'm still single because I don't meet many men and they aren't attracted to me anyway.
Originally Posted by Piglet
That's exactly how I feel. I don't think I'm ugly, but for some reason, guys aren't attracted to me.
Originally Posted by cyndi

I could have written both of these!
Think I'm 3b-ish...maybe some 3a there too...plus wavy roots....I'm just a mixed bag! CG since August '05
It's very hard to meet people when you work 80 hours a week and don't get out much... probably one of the reasons why I'm still single.

And I never look. It always happens that if I look, I won't find. I let it just happen.

And I have decided that there may be no quality men left. All the quality guys I know are my friends. I'm just going to marry one of them I actually have a running joke that in 2 years, if we are both still single, my best guy friend and I are getting hitched.
Originally Posted by curlygreek
80 hours a week? Is someone else a med studet/resident?
Originally Posted by newcurly
no, I just have two jobs plus I live alone and don't know many people so I'd rather work than sit at home alone and bored

and to go along w/ the personality thing - I think that is partially my problem. I am perfectly fine w/ my personality - I'm kinda loud, very outgoing, very sarcastic, and kind of blunt. But my friends are my friends b/c they enjoy me and I don't feel the need to change. If a guy is going to like me, he will like me for who I am - big personality and all.
"The crazy starts deep within and just comes spiraling out the top!" ~ best curly hair quote
i also think it's possible to attract jerks without being the slightest bit jerk-like, oneself. abusive people look for someone quiet, shy, or "different" in some way, to kick around. again, not your fault.
Originally Posted by hennabrain
there's a lot of people around here, who've seen me posting for almost 9 years who can tell you that i'm anything BUT shy or quiet.
Originally Posted by rouquinne
ok, sorry. from the way you described the situation, i thought maybe you were being targeted for abuse. i didn't necessarily think you were shy, just that shyness is one of the traits that people target.
I hate turtlenecks. Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy.

- Mitch Hedberg
For those who feel like they aren't attracting men physically, I can't really see it. There are just too many women out there who have men and who also appear to be ugly, grossly underweight, grossly overweight, unattractive, etc. for me to believe that no men find you attractive. Might be a case of your needing to look at a broader spectrum of men, or to *put yourself out there* more.
Originally Posted by curls on holiday

I've been told by someone before that I should put myself out there more (regarding making friends), but I don't even know what that means.

Bianca says her friend turns people off being loud, drunk etc. I never get drunk, rarely swear, have good manners etc. I just don't think men find me attractive.
Yes, my tail is naturally curly.
No, it was NOT me who cried 'wee wee wee wee wee' all the way home.
I've been single since October, and I just needed a break after a year and a half with an ass. I mean it's not like I haven't wanted to date in between, but I didn't need to. Now I feel like I'm ready to meet someone, not because I fear being alone, or because I feel like everyone else has one. I'm ready. I've built up the confidence some and am ready to just go out and see what happens. But I am definitely ready to meet someone. Hopefully soon I can post about that! lol
1. i am antisocial

2. rejection SUCKS ASS

3. i have a cat, and thus have secured my status as spinster forever (j/k) :P
4a/b
my hat hair is fabulous and amazing!!
For those who feel like they aren't attracting men physically, I can't really see it. There are just too many women out there who have men and who also appear to be ugly, grossly underweight, grossly overweight, unattractive, etc. for me to believe that no men find you attractive. Might be a case of your needing to look at a broader spectrum of men, or to *put yourself out there* more.
Originally Posted by curls on holiday

I've been told by someone before that I should put myself out there more (regarding making friends), but I don't even know what that means.

Bianca says her friend turns people off being loud, drunk etc. I never get drunk, rarely swear, have good manners etc. I just don't think men find me attractive.
Originally Posted by Piglet
Putting yourself out there more means increasing opportunities where you will meet new people, potential friends or lovers. So, if your usual pattern is to work and then spend free time alone or within a certain circle of people, the idea is to spend free time with more and different people. Take a class, go to events, ask to be set up on blind dates, hang out in group settings, go to the grocery store or other stores where men are and make eye contact, etc...

From your self description, maybe you are more reserved and men are afraid to come up to you for fear of being shot down and rejected. Not because you are a stunning beauty (although I've seen from a sibling and close friends how intimidated guys are by that). One thing I have really figured out about most men is that hate and fear the idea of rejection. So, if they think it might happen, they cut it off at the pass.
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."

"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
- Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

(taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
Putting yourself out there more means increasing opportunities where you will meet new people, potential friends or lovers. So, if your usual pattern is to work and then spend free time alone or within a certain circle of people, the idea is to spend free time with more and different people. Take a class, go to events, ask to be set up on blind dates, hang out in group settings, go to the grocery store or other stores where men are and make eye contact, etc...
Originally Posted by curls on holiday
I love it when curls on holiday puts my thoughts into written words so aptly and I can just say:

ITA

Because the only guys who pay attention to me do it just for the chase. Once interest is returned, they lose interest. None of them are bankers, apparently.
póg mo thóin
A guy friend told me to just simply smile at a guy that I think is cute. He said if the guy isn't a total idiot, he'll take it as an invitation that it's okay to approach me. I never realized that I do not smile at guys most of the time like that. So I'm taking him up on that advice when I get back to town. Hopefully it'll pay off.
A guy friend told me to just simply smile at a guy that I think is cute. He said if the guy isn't a total idiot, he'll take it as an invitation that it's okay to approach me. I never realized that I do not smile at guys most of the time like that. So I'm taking him up on that advice when I get back to town. Hopefully it'll pay off.
Originally Posted by Amandacurls
Have you read Little Miss Snarky Boohah's blog on that? I think it will be a good warning before you try method

http://booyahlicious.blogspot.com/2008/01/smile.html

Aside from the blogged tragedy, I think that is a fantastic method
HCC + Kenra Condish + Biotera Gel and Leave In + diffusing = beautiful 3A spirals
A guy friend told me to just simply smile at a guy that I think is cute. He said if the guy isn't a total idiot, he'll take it as an invitation that it's okay to approach me. I never realized that I do not smile at guys most of the time like that. So I'm taking him up on that advice when I get back to town. Hopefully it'll pay off.
Originally Posted by Amandacurls
Have you read Little Miss Snarky Boohah's blog on that? I think it will be a good warning before you try method

http://booyahlicious.blogspot.com/2008/01/smile.html

Aside from the blogged tragedy, I think that is a fantastic method
Originally Posted by younggrasshopper
I can't get to it at work, what's it say?
A guy friend told me to just simply smile at a guy that I think is cute. He said if the guy isn't a total idiot, he'll take it as an invitation that it's okay to approach me. I never realized that I do not smile at guys most of the time like that. So I'm taking him up on that advice when I get back to town. Hopefully it'll pay off.
Originally Posted by Amandacurls
Have you read Little Miss Snarky Boohah's blog on that? I think it will be a good warning before you try method

http://booyahlicious.blogspot.com/2008/01/smile.html

Aside from the blogged tragedy, I think that is a fantastic method
Originally Posted by younggrasshopper
I can't get to it at work, what's it say?
Originally Posted by Amandacurls
It says this:

It wasn't all bad though. As I was reading Indy's blog (because he gives great insight on the psyche of the male species), I started clicking on random links, which led me to this bit of advice for women everywhere. And do you know, it made sense to me? So simple! A smile! I can do that.

So I'm not the kind of girl to turn down a challenge (as evidenced by The Dreaded Ketchup Incident 2007), so I decided to just see what would happen if I tried his advice.

Again, I am a spaz. (And you can narrow your eyes at me all you want, Miss D , *sir*. I am about to prove this to you. To *all* of you.)

For lunch today, I decided I wanted some soup and the best decaf latte in all of Seattle. There was a boy in line behind me who was kind of a cutie. I then had a little conversation with myself:

Alida to Alida: All you have to do is smile at him. You're a smiley gal. This shouldn't be too tricky for you. You are composed, you are confident, you've been using Quick Dissolve Tooth-Whitening Strips...you're ready.

I can't argue with myself, so I got ready for The Big Smile Experiment, 2008. I ordered my soup, waited for my latte, and kept my face ready, poised to light up at precisely the right moment. Right as the barista handed over my tasty beverage, Cute Boy finished his transaction and got to the door a split second before me.

He held the door open for me as I took a sip of my latte.

I smiled at him, a little smile.

He smiled right back, a full-toothed grin.

Encouraged, empowered, and inspired, I flashed him my biggest, happiest, most confident smile EVER.

And all the latte in my mouth went *cascading* down my chin.

His nice grin turned into a pitying expression of, "Uh. Hm. Did she *really* just spit her latte at me?"

And my smile turned into a resigned expression of, "Yes. Yes I actually *did* just spit my latte at you, sir. And that's about right because that's how I roll."

So he went his way, I went mine, waiting until he'd turned the corner before I furiously tried to dry the latte from my face and shirt, while having a new, more different conversation with myself:

Alida to Alida: Moron.

Indeed.

In my evaluation of The Big Smile Experiment 2008, I see the following hiccups in my methodology:

1) I over thought.
2) I forgot myself.
3) I tried to do more than one thing at a time.
4) I am me.

It's okay though. Lessons were learned today, you guys. Big lessons. Valuable lessons.

Clearly, he was not the guy for me. I'm sure of this. Because if he were the guy for me?

He totally would have taken a quick sip of his green tea and spit it right back at me.
HCC + Kenra Condish + Biotera Gel and Leave In + diffusing = beautiful 3A spirals
1. i am antisocial

2. rejection SUCKS ASS

3. i have a cat, and thus have secured my status as spinster forever (j/k) :P
Originally Posted by Madinat
Geez, just ONE cat You still have hope! I have 3 Im lost for good in the love department
"Someday love will find you...break those chains that bind you!!"







A few reasons:
I am not really looking but I'd be open to a relationship.
I am too busy with school
Right guy hasn't come.

Thats it.
3B and lovin' it Livin' naturally and healthfully.
Hair care essentials:
1. Good 'cone free conditioner
2. Cold water
3. Aloe vera gel
4. Shea Butter
5. Resilience!
http://www.snhbw.blogspot.com
1. i am antisocial

2. rejection SUCKS ASS

3. i have a cat, and thus have secured my status as spinster forever (j/k) :P
Originally Posted by Madinat
I love cats. They can be really affectionate. They respect your boundaries and ask you to do the same. They don't play mind games, or any of the other things that men do.
3a brunette, medium texture and density.

CG since 5/16/2008.

Growing out an eeevil haircut with 4 layers on the left side and 6 layers on the right side.
Currently using: Aubrey Organics' White Camelia, Glycogen Protein Balancing Conditioner and Island Naturals for co-wash. Alternating My Honey Child's : Caribbean Curling Creme, Honey Guava Balm, and Coconut Milk; and Moptop's Gel on top for styling.


Location: Boca Raton, FL

Have you read Little Miss Snarky Boohah's blog on that? I think it will be a good warning before you try method

http://booyahlicious.blogspot.com/2008/01/smile.html

Aside from the blogged tragedy, I think that is a fantastic method
Originally Posted by younggrasshopper
I can't get to it at work, what's it say?
Originally Posted by Amandacurls
It says this:

It wasn't all bad though. As I was reading Indy's blog (because he gives great insight on the psyche of the male species), I started clicking on random links, which led me to this bit of advice for women everywhere. And do you know, it made sense to me? So simple! A smile! I can do that.

So I'm not the kind of girl to turn down a challenge (as evidenced by The Dreaded Ketchup Incident 2007), so I decided to just see what would happen if I tried his advice.

Again, I am a spaz. (And you can narrow your eyes at me all you want, Miss D , *sir*. I am about to prove this to you. To *all* of you.)

For lunch today, I decided I wanted some soup and the best decaf latte in all of Seattle. There was a boy in line behind me who was kind of a cutie. I then had a little conversation with myself:

Alida to Alida: All you have to do is smile at him. You're a smiley gal. This shouldn't be too tricky for you. You are composed, you are confident, you've been using Quick Dissolve Tooth-Whitening Strips...you're ready.

I can't argue with myself, so I got ready for The Big Smile Experiment, 2008. I ordered my soup, waited for my latte, and kept my face ready, poised to light up at precisely the right moment. Right as the barista handed over my tasty beverage, Cute Boy finished his transaction and got to the door a split second before me.

He held the door open for me as I took a sip of my latte.

I smiled at him, a little smile.

He smiled right back, a full-toothed grin.

Encouraged, empowered, and inspired, I flashed him my biggest, happiest, most confident smile EVER.

And all the latte in my mouth went *cascading* down my chin.

His nice grin turned into a pitying expression of, "Uh. Hm. Did she *really* just spit her latte at me?"

And my smile turned into a resigned expression of, "Yes. Yes I actually *did* just spit my latte at you, sir. And that's about right because that's how I roll."

So he went his way, I went mine, waiting until he'd turned the corner before I furiously tried to dry the latte from my face and shirt, while having a new, more different conversation with myself:

Alida to Alida: Moron.

Indeed.

In my evaluation of The Big Smile Experiment 2008, I see the following hiccups in my methodology:

1) I over thought.
2) I forgot myself.
3) I tried to do more than one thing at a time.
4) I am me.

It's okay though. Lessons were learned today, you guys. Big lessons. Valuable lessons.

Clearly, he was not the guy for me. I'm sure of this. Because if he were the guy for me?

He totally would have taken a quick sip of his green tea and spit it right back at me.
Originally Posted by younggrasshopper
Okay, note to self, do not drink something directly before attempting the smile technique! lol
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
Frau, there's no way someone as cute as you, and with that dynamite smile, repels men.
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
I would also like to add that once on a first date, I held up one hand in front of my face so the guy couldn't see how I was licking the chocolate off the fingers on my other hand (I'd been drinking a messy chocolate martini).

He said, "I know what you're doing, you know."

"No, you don't," I insisted.

He smiled for a while, and then when we left, he gave me what I took to be a "consolation hug," as in "Oh, well. I tried."

Guess who wants to marry me now? That's right --- the man with x-ray vision.

My point is, go ahead and do stupid things in front of guys if you want to. It's a good way of weeding out the pretentious ones.

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