The Official Online Dating Diaries Thread

Like Tree573Likes

Yes....please keep me updated. Cause my Gyno said even if the removed the fibroids..with my age they'd grow back and I can't make abdominal surgery a regular thing laparoscopic or not cause recovery blows! Lol

So far I put in a new NuvaRing and the bleeding seems to have seriously lightened up. My dr was calling this a temporary fix at best. I'd never expect to have to worry about hysterectomy at 34...but..u get the cards u get...right?
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
How long are they telling u recovery will be? Will u have to have someone stay with u during that time?
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
How long are they telling u recovery will be? Will u have to have someone stay with u during that time?
Originally Posted by GoddessCurls

They're only giving me 4 weeks off work. But my dr says that will be more time than necessary...that robotic laproscopic has an easy recovery.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Good...if anything I think the longest I could take would be 2 or so.

So far...the worst part of this laparoscopic stuff....the co2 they pump u full of. It makes u so uncomfortable for days. I guess the upside would be that that is so uncomfortable I barely notice the incision pain...lol
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
Hey I know this is not really the right thread since I'm not online dating but I don't know where else to vent.

I got into a huge fight with my bf(we've been dating a few months) last night. We argued til 6am. It included stuff about my family and religion. I felt really hurt and he did understand finally(at 6am, after 5 hours of on and off fighting) and apologized many times. I could tell he wanted to come back over(I kicked him out and slammed the door during our fight around 2am) but I absolutely had to go to work and I was turned off my some of the stuff he said even though I could he was genuinely sorry and apologized several times including on text.

I have to turn something in today that's important for work. I had to call in to come in later to work..my head was hurting from arguing and frustration and I needed sleep. I missed 2 meetings today. If I didn't have something due today maybe i would have let him come over but I know if he did, I wouldnt get the rest I needed.

So i call him several times this afternoon before i come to work (i just got in around 2 and ill be here at least til 8 and am not doing halloween tonite which i was looking forward to all month - it is my favorite holiday). And i message him online and he is ignoring me and it hurts. When I get to work I see he is offline and he is never offline, he leaves it on even when he goes to sleep. I felt awful
.

Maybe this is wrong of me but I feel as if I've sacrificed more to be with him(he has 2 kids which has always been a deal breaker for me and an ex wife he basically supports, these are huge things for me to swallow) and he hasn't done anything for me, and I guess I am talking about understanding and accepting my family's odd(relative to him) ways and religious culture and my religion(whatever it is at this point- but at least some variation of Islam, at least culturally which is hard for him to understand). I didn't think it mattered before but I realize now it does and I feel like he's not on my 'team'. And he has told me that I need to be on his side on somethings that are important to him and I did so. I've never experienced this with any guy I've dated (included ones that were not Muslim). He is generally pretty smart, liberal and openminded so I was surprised. I know ignorance is not completely his fault but regardless it hurt me.

He carved a really cool scary pumpkin last night while we watched the heat/celtics game. He also carved a spider for me on the other side(i love spiders). Before I went to work i cut up the pumpkin into pieces and threw out the pumpkin seeds i roasted. I was furious. I still am but trying to calm down for work.

I know I sound like an immature 15 year old. Feel free to yell at me if I need it. Now I need to go concentrate hard on this thing I need finish for work.

I hate that religion(which is what it boils down to) is coming between us but it is. I don't expect him to convert but at least understand and be objective, not say things a typical ignorant person might say. At least ask me if you are confused about something that you know nothing about. He know he's wrong and has said so yet he's ignoring me. How does this make any sense. I'm so mad I'm tempted to go hang out with other guys I've been ignoring tonite that I know understand me and my background. I know I shouldn't.

Thanks for listening.
Hey I know this is not really the right thread since I'm not online dating but I don't know where else to vent.

I got into a huge fight with my bf(we've been dating a few months) last night. We argued til 6am. It included stuff about my family and religion. I felt really hurt and he did understand finally(at 6am, after 5 hours of on and off fighting) and apologized many times. I could tell he wanted to come back over(I kicked him out and slammed the door during our fight around 2am) but I absolutely had to go to work and I was turned off my some of the stuff he said even though I could he was genuinely sorry and apologized several times including on text.

I have to turn something in today that's important for work. I had to call in to come in later to work..my head was hurting from arguing and frustration and I needed sleep. I missed 2 meetings today. If I didn't have something due today maybe i would have let him come over but I know if he did, I wouldnt get the rest I needed.

So i call him several times this afternoon before i come to work (i just got in around 2 and ill be here at least til 8 and am not doing halloween tonite which i was looking forward to all month - it is my favorite holiday). And i message him online and he is ignoring me and it hurts. When I get to work I see he is offline and he is never offline, he leaves it on even when he goes to sleep. I felt awful
.

Maybe this is wrong of me but I feel as if I've sacrificed more to be with him(he has 2 kids which has always been a deal breaker for me and an ex wife he basically supports, these are huge things for me to swallow) and he hasn't done anything for me, and I guess I am talking about understanding and accepting my family's odd(relative to him) ways and religious culture and my religion(whatever it is at this point- but at least some variation of Islam, at least culturally which is hard for him to understand). I didn't think it mattered before but I realize now it does and I feel like he's not on my 'team'. And he has told me that I need to be on his side on somethings that are important to him and I did so. I've never experienced this with any guy I've dated (included ones that were not Muslim). He is generally pretty smart, liberal and openminded so I was surprised. I know ignorance is not completely his fault but regardless it hurt me.

He carved a really cool scary pumpkin last night while we watched the heat/celtics game. He also carved a spider for me on the other side(i love spiders). Before I went to work i cut up the pumpkin into pieces and threw out the pumpkin seeds i roasted. I was furious. I still am but trying to calm down for work.

I know I sound like an immature 15 year old. Feel free to yell at me if I need it. Now I need to go concentrate hard on this thing I need finish for work.

I hate that religion(which is what it boils down to) is coming between us but it is. I don't expect him to convert but at least understand and be objective, not say things a typical ignorant person might say. At least ask me if you are confused about something that you know nothing about. He know he's wrong and has said so yet he's ignoring me. How does this make any sense. I'm so mad I'm tempted to go hang out with other guys I've been ignoring tonite that I know understand me and my background. I know I shouldn't.

Thanks for listening.
Originally Posted by Josephine
(((Hugs))) Josephine.
Number 1, I'll tell you what you probably already know but need to be told again. Do not sacrifice your work in that fashion again. You need to be able to say "I have to work in the morning, I cannot deal with this right now."
Number 2, some couples can make it with different religions, some cannot. There are many ways to work through these differences, however disrespect is NOT to be tolerated. Clearly you know that and that's why you kept fighting. If you don't feel that you can work through these differences and the way that he handles these things, you can still get out now while it is early. You do not want to proceed with this relationship and get to the kids discussion where you can't figure out how to raise the children. You also cannot be with someone who is disrespecting what is important to you and important to your family
Third, I'm sure he is also drained from the argument, and while he apologized it might be possible that he is also considering the repercussions of the argument and considering if *he* can go forward or not. I wouldn't worry about that, he will come around when he rests and has time to deflate.
Take the time to focus on how you feel, and whether you can continue in the face of so many dealbreakers.
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.
Hey I know this is not really the right thread since I'm not online dating but I don't know where else to vent.

I got into a huge fight with my bf(we've been dating a few months) last night. We argued til 6am. It included stuff about my family and religion. I felt really hurt and he did understand finally(at 6am, after 5 hours of on and off fighting) and apologized many times. I could tell he wanted to come back over(I kicked him out and slammed the door during our fight around 2am) but I absolutely had to go to work and I was turned off my some of the stuff he said even though I could he was genuinely sorry and apologized several times including on text.

I have to turn something in today that's important for work. I had to call in to come in later to work..my head was hurting from arguing and frustration and I needed sleep. I missed 2 meetings today. If I didn't have something due today maybe i would have let him come over but I know if he did, I wouldnt get the rest I needed.

So i call him several times this afternoon before i come to work (i just got in around 2 and ill be here at least til 8 and am not doing halloween tonite which i was looking forward to all month - it is my favorite holiday). And i message him online and he is ignoring me and it hurts. When I get to work I see he is offline and he is never offline, he leaves it on even when he goes to sleep. I felt awful
.

Maybe this is wrong of me but I feel as if I've sacrificed more to be with him(he has 2 kids which has always been a deal breaker for me and an ex wife he basically supports, these are huge things for me to swallow) and he hasn't done anything for me, and I guess I am talking about understanding and accepting my family's odd(relative to him) ways and religious culture and my religion(whatever it is at this point- but at least some variation of Islam, at least culturally which is hard for him to understand). I didn't think it mattered before but I realize now it does and I feel like he's not on my 'team'. And he has told me that I need to be on his side on somethings that are important to him and I did so. I've never experienced this with any guy I've dated (included ones that were not Muslim). He is generally pretty smart, liberal and openminded so I was surprised. I know ignorance is not completely his fault but regardless it hurt me.

He carved a really cool scary pumpkin last night while we watched the heat/celtics game. He also carved a spider for me on the other side(i love spiders). Before I went to work i cut up the pumpkin into pieces and threw out the pumpkin seeds i roasted. I was furious. I still am but trying to calm down for work.

I know I sound like an immature 15 year old. Feel free to yell at me if I need it. Now I need to go concentrate hard on this thing I need finish for work.

I hate that religion(which is what it boils down to) is coming between us but it is. I don't expect him to convert but at least understand and be objective, not say things a typical ignorant person might say. At least ask me if you are confused about something that you know nothing about. He know he's wrong and has said so yet he's ignoring me. How does this make any sense. I'm so mad I'm tempted to go hang out with other guys I've been ignoring tonite that I know understand me and my background. I know I shouldn't.

Thanks for listening.
Originally Posted by Josephine
(((Hugs))) Josephine.
Number 1, I'll tell you what you probably already know but need to be told again. Do not sacrifice your work in that fashion again. You need to be able to say "I have to work in the morning, I cannot deal with this right now."
Number 2, some couples can make it with different religions, some cannot. There are many ways to work through these differences, however disrespect is NOT to be tolerated. Clearly you know that and that's why you kept fighting. If you don't feel that you can work through these differences and the way that he handles these things, you can still get out now while it is early. You do not want to proceed with this relationship and get to the kids discussion where you can't figure out how to raise the children. You also cannot be with someone who is disrespecting what is important to you and important to your family
Third, I'm sure he is also drained from the argument, and while he apologized it might be possible that he is also considering the repercussions of the argument and considering if *he* can go forward or not. I wouldn't worry about that, he will come around when he rests and has time to deflate.
Take the time to focus on how you feel, and whether you can continue in the face of so many dealbreakers.
Originally Posted by Narnia
Thanks so much. I didn't realize i wrote a book! You are right. He emailed me because i was ignoring his calls(I purposely left my phone in the car). Apparently he was sleeping and his phone was on vibrate away from him. I signed on skype and saw he messaged me and said he said really stupid things to prove an irrelevant point, and I've signed off immediately.

Anyways I probably will have a serious talk with him. I guess I have to have the religion talk which I was dreading. I don't even know if I'm ready for that but it has to be done. I met his mom and she is a staunch republican(he is not) and she went on a rant about how obama might really be muslim(and so what if he was?) and she doesnt believe that he's not and carlo(my dude) did stop her at least but obviously he didnt tell her that I'm muslim and didnt apologize to me about that later. I brought that up. He did apologize to me in advance and warn me that his mom says really ignorant things so i wrote her off as a crazy old woman but it still bugged me that he didnt say anything to me later. My parents are very devout Muslims and they never would say anything offensive to anyone so I'm just not used to that. So if I stay with him, id have to deal with his kids, an ex wife and an ignorant mother. He was worth all that up until last night.

Thanks so much. I didn't realize i wrote a book! You are right. He emailed me because i was ignoring his calls(I purposely left my phone in the car). Apparently he was sleeping and his phone was on vibrate away from him. I signed on skype and saw he messaged me and said he said really stupid things to prove an irrelevant point, and I've signed off immediately.

Anyways I probably will have a serious talk with him. I guess I have to have the religion talk which I was dreading. I don't even know if I'm ready for that but it has to be done. I met his mom and she is a staunch republican(he is not) and she went on a rant about how obama might really be muslim(and so what if he was?) and she doesnt believe that he's not and carlo(my dude) did stop her at least but obviously he didnt tell her that I'm muslim and didnt apologize to me about that later. I brought that up. He did apologize to me in advance and warn me that his mom says really ignorant things so i wrote her off as a crazy old woman but it still bugged me that he didnt say anything to me later. My parents are very devout Muslims and they never would say anything offensive to anyone so I'm just not used to that. So if I stay with him, id have to deal with his kids, an ex wife and an ignorant mother. He was worth all that up until last night.
Originally Posted by Josephine
The fact that he said some stupid things shows the issue wasn't resolved and that he was still fired up. That makes sense though, since those all night blowouts usually don't solve much.

I thought I'd add this quote "if you half to give up whatever makes you 100% to be 50% of a couple, you are doing something wrong." If your religion is important to you, I think you know the answer.
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.
Wow Josephine. {{{HUGS}}} to you.

IMO, I think the episode with his mom, was a deal breaker. He let her go on a rant about muslims, knowing you are muslim. if he hasnt told his mom, to me it says he is ashamed. another dealbreaker. he didnt stand up for you, deal breaker. it also showed his lack of backbone when it comes to his mom. what if you guys worked it out and got married? if he wont say, "hey mom, cool it, josephine is muslim!" what will happen when there are bigger issues? will he ever be able to stand up for you?

The fact that he said some stupid things shows the issue wasn't resolved and that he was still fired up. That makes sense though, since those all night blowouts usually don't solve much.

I thought I'd add this quote "if you half to give up whatever makes you 100% to be 50% of a couple, you are doing something wrong." If your religion is important to you, I think you know the answer.
Originally Posted by Narnia
Thanks, we talked last night and all is good now. My religion is definitely not 100% but it is more than he thought and more than I wanted to think.
Wow Josephine. {{{HUGS}}} to you.

IMO, I think the episode with his mom, was a deal breaker. He let her go on a rant about muslims, knowing you are muslim. if he hasnt told his mom, to me it says he is ashamed. another dealbreaker. he didnt stand up for you, deal breaker. it also showed his lack of backbone when it comes to his mom. what if you guys worked it out and got married? if he wont say, "hey mom, cool it, josephine is muslim!" what will happen when there are bigger issues? will he ever be able to stand up for you?
Originally Posted by thelio
No it's not like that, he's not ashamed, he didn't tell his mom much about me because we're still new and it's not that serious. He did basically tell her to shutup when she started ranting and she did and then started ranting about some totally unrelated topic. I know he didnt want to tell her on the spot because that would make things uncomfortable but I did expect him to tell her right away afterwards. I am still disappointed about that. Definitely not a dealbreaker for me though.
Man...in a perfect world religion would never be an issue. It really sucks when u like someone and that's the only issue but it's a deal breaker. I really don't care what religion the guy is...and as long as he doesn't push his on me. But it would be nice to have him stand up for u when someone is bashing ur religion.
Josephine and thelio like this.
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
In a lot of ways I'd be considered religiously ambiguous. I have a hard time believing that any one in particular has it all right...or had cornered the market on The Way to the Creator. It's hard finding someone to accept that.

But just make sure ur truly ok with however he looks at what u believe. Cause it's awful trying to deal with someone who ridicules ur beliefs.
Josephine likes this.
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
But it would be nice to have him stand up for u when someone is bashing ur religion.
Originally Posted by GoddessCurls
Yea.
It went from 60 to zero and it's not like that anymore? Seems a little weird but a long as you're happy..
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.
But it would be nice to have him stand up for u when someone is bashing ur religion.
Originally Posted by GoddessCurls
Yea.
It went from 60 to zero and it's not like that anymore? Seems a little weird but a long as you're happy..
Originally Posted by Narnia
Na, I left a lot of details out. And he was never like that (ashamed except of his mom but he has been avoiding the convo with her). Just in case you guys missed it, he definitely did say something to her but I did expect more but I'm not going to let that ruin a great, and I mean a really great thing. The mom thing was just something else I remembered yesterday because I was super pissed. The dude definitely comes with some baggage. Both my exes families are pretty smart and so 'mouthy'. His mom is like a 'character'. She was even criticizing his own daughter. He's nothing like his family.

But yes I am very happy . He is very caring, empathetic and openminded. He is ignorant on some things though since he's never been around it.

I'm also ambivalent on some things about religion and don't necessarily disagree on some things he said(which he has also said about christianity and catholicism but worse) but the other night it felt more personal because he's not muslim and I felt like he was singling it out. It's like, I can say **** about my family and I know they are wrong but you can't. I think he thought I completely rejected the religion I grew up the same way he did, but not quite the case. Plus I'm a minority here so I'm more on the defense about it.

Honestly though sometimes I feel that there's no way it's gonna last because everything else is perfect. It's like it's too good to be true. I know it's cheesy. I'm okay if I crash, because the high is so worth it.

Last edited by Josephine; 11-01-2012 at 04:45 PM.
In a lot of ways I'd be considered religiously ambiguous. I have a hard time believing that any one in particular has it all right...or had cornered the market on The Way to the Creator. It's hard finding someone to accept that.
Originally Posted by GoddessCurls
Not in my experience, current bf is like that and my ex was as well. I also have a few friends like that. I actually feel the same way but if I were to practice I prefer to do it in the way I grew up doing so.

Last edited by Josephine; 11-01-2012 at 04:25 PM.
Well I had bad luck with that...there was ChristianBoy and the recent one who's dad was a pastor at a big church and expected him and whoever he eventually ended up with to spend their Sundays there
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
I did finally get to go out with the bloke. He thankfully doesn't mind my religious views. We had a short evening due to him having to get his daughter...and also me and the whole surgery thing.

Man did we have a great time! He's wonderful! We got along so well...he's sweet and smart and funny. I'm gonna see him again tomorrow..I'm so hopeful!
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
Josephine - if you are happy that is all that matters! I know the feeling of posting something on here and then felling like I left it XYZ or told too much sometimes. It is what it is, and only you know your relationship

Goddess that is AWESOME news!! Details!!
Josephine and Rubber Biscuit like this.
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.
He was just as cute as his pictures, which rarely happens to me. He was a gentleman and sweet and funny. He was nervous and it was so cute. U get guys thinking they r gods gift. I LOVE the accent! I've been smiling since yesterday. We've been texting or talking pretty frequently. We have a real date tomorrow..since he has no time constraints. He wants to see me Saturday too. I have a real good feeling about this one...I had from the start which was why I was so disappointed when things seemed to go south. I had stumbled on his profile a few times before...he always interested me but for some reason I never messaged. I'm so glad he contacted me!!
ursula and wild~hair like this.
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com