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Old 11-19-2012, 07:22 PM   #2101
 
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That's is just horrible!! Funny....but horrible!! LMAO!
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Old 11-20-2012, 07:38 AM   #2102
 
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About the pop-you-in-the-mouth guy: didn't mean to alarm anyone. He's only slightly nuts and that's the way we play.

Anyway, looking for some input on the unattractive poet who took me out on Saturday. I'm not attracted to him, OK, and I don't want to date him. But he and I have some legitimately similar interests and he has good ideas about various things I'm involved with, so I do want to keep in touch with him. I know some men aren't looking for a running buddy, tho and can be a sore spot.

So I had surgery last week and he is supposedly a good cook and he keeps asking me if I want him to bring me dinner over (or meet me to drop it off bc we don't live that far from each other).

How can I say, yeah, sure bring me some lasagna, and yeah, maybe I can take you out for a drink or something sometime bc I think you are interesting to talk to...but that's the extent of my interest? How do you get them to switch gears to platonic friendship? I have tried this in the past and it never quite works out.
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Old 11-20-2012, 07:47 AM   #2103
 
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About the pop-you-in-the-mouth guy: didn't mean to alarm anyone. He's only slightly nuts and that's the way we play.

Anyway, looking for some input on the unattractive poet who took me out on Saturday. I'm not attracted to him, OK, and I don't want to date him. But he and I have some legitimately similar interests and he has good ideas about various things I'm involved with, so I do want to keep in touch with him. I know some men aren't looking for a running buddy, tho and can be a sore spot.

So I had surgery last week and he is supposedly a good cook and he keeps asking me if I want him to bring me dinner over (or meet me to drop it off bc we don't live that far from each other).

How can I say, yeah, sure bring me some lasagna, and yeah, maybe I can take you out for a drink or something sometime bc I think you are interesting to talk to...but that's the extent of my interest? How do you get them to switch gears to platonic friendship? I have tried this in the past and it never quite works out.
LOL, come on, how old are you?? You know you can't go back to that now!! No such thing as platonic. He can say that but he's going to always want you and convince you. And that may be okay with you if you want to use him for the benefits. One of my friends is the queen of that.
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Old 11-20-2012, 08:04 AM   #2104
 
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About the pop-you-in-the-mouth guy: didn't mean to alarm anyone. He's only slightly nuts and that's the way we play.

Anyway, looking for some input on the unattractive poet who took me out on Saturday. I'm not attracted to him, OK, and I don't want to date him. But he and I have some legitimately similar interests and he has good ideas about various things I'm involved with, so I do want to keep in touch with him. I know some men aren't looking for a running buddy, tho and can be a sore spot.

So I had surgery last week and he is supposedly a good cook and he keeps asking me if I want him to bring me dinner over (or meet me to drop it off bc we don't live that far from each other).

How can I say, yeah, sure bring me some lasagna, and yeah, maybe I can take you out for a drink or something sometime bc I think you are interesting to talk to...but that's the extent of my interest? How do you get them to switch gears to platonic friendship? I have tried this in the past and it never quite works out.
LOL, come on, how old are you?? You know you can't go back to that now!! No such thing as platonic. He can say that but he's going to always want you and convince you. And that may be okay with you if you want to use him for the benefits. One of my friends is the queen of that.
No, it's totally not about using! I can be a great friend, too. I think we have some mutual interests and we could benefit from each other in some ways.

Right now I want lasagna. But maybe next week, I can take him out to a movie or edit his business proposal.
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Old 11-20-2012, 08:51 AM   #2105
 
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No, it's totally not about using! I can be a great friend, too. I think we have some mutual interests and we could benefit from each other in some ways.

Right now I want lasagna. But maybe next week, I can take him out to a movie or edit his business proposal.

Well that's good but you know he's always going to try to change your mind. Men love a challenge. My friend on the other hand just seems to take and lets guys do stuff for her. And swears she's innocent because she's made it clear she just wants to be friends lol. Guys dont just do **** for girls for no reason. The only exception maybe if you were best friends from childhood and even then not on a certain level.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:08 AM   #2106
 
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No, it's totally not about using! I can be a great friend, too. I think we have some mutual interests and we could benefit from each other in some ways.

Right now I want lasagna. But maybe next week, I can take him out to a movie or edit his business proposal.

Well that's good but you know he's always going to try to change your mind. Men love a challenge. My friend on the other hand just seems to take and lets guys do stuff for her. And swears she's innocent because she's made it clear she just wants to be friends lol. Guys dont just do **** for girls for no reason. The only exception maybe if you were best friends from childhood and even then not on a certain level.

I've always had male friends and I like that. Now that I'm on a dating site, I'm meeting so many guys. Obviously, most won't be a love connection. But some have redeeming qualities, nevertheless, and are worth keeping around (for a mutually satisfying, two-way, respectful, platonic, sexlessless, nonflirtatious friendship).

He has got some great business start up ideas and a few of the needed skills. I have more of those skills and more formal experience. I think we could really brainstorn up some cool projects.

But yeah, he is completely sexually repulsive to me. I don't want him ever getting the impression that something could happen btwn us in the future. I'm on a totally different vibration than that.
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:49 AM   #2107
 
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No, it's totally not about using! I can be a great friend, too. I think we have some mutual interests and we could benefit from each other in some ways.

Right now I want lasagna. But maybe next week, I can take him out to a movie or edit his business proposal.

Well that's good but you know he's always going to try to change your mind. Men love a challenge. My friend on the other hand just seems to take and lets guys do stuff for her. And swears she's innocent because she's made it clear she just wants to be friends lol. Guys dont just do **** for girls for no reason. The only exception maybe if you were best friends from childhood and even then not on a certain level.

I've always had male friends and I like that. Now that I'm on a dating site, I'm meeting so many guys. Obviously, most won't be a love connection. But some have redeeming qualities, nevertheless, and are worth keeping around (for a mutually satisfying, two-way, respectful, platonic, sexlessless, nonflirtatious friendship).

He has got some great business start up ideas and a few of the needed skills. I have more of those skills and more formal experience. I think we could really brainstorn up some cool projects.

But yeah, he is completely sexually repulsive to me. I don't want him ever getting the impression that something could happen btwn us in the future. I'm on a totally different vibration than that.
Yea I understand. I only have one male friend like that that's almost truly platonic. The rest are friends but not platonic enough to keep as friends now that I have a bf. One of my coworkers has made a lot of friends too from a dating site that he still keeps in touch with (he's gay if that even matters).

My ex always needed female friendships/contacts and me being the jealous type, that didn't work out very well. But many people are okay with it.

Even if you are repulsed by him, doesn't mean he isn't by you! But that's not your problem. Just sounded by the whole poetry and video thing, I don't know if he's the type that can even pretend to scale back to a friendship, but you can try!

Goddess - how is your guy doing??
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Old 11-20-2012, 10:58 AM   #2108
 
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My guy is going well. We're not seeing other people. He's sweet and cute and we have a great time together. I'm really happy with how things are going
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Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
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Old 11-22-2012, 08:17 AM   #2109
 
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Just wondering about some different point of view and thoughts. I met this guy he 'really liked me for a while' and I started liking him. We decided to 'take things slow and just get to know each other' but how long do yall think that period should last? And is it ok to 'get to know' other people at the same time?

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Old 11-22-2012, 09:16 AM   #2110
 
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Unless u have that talk abt not swing others, I usually assume that everyone is. I know I did. I had multiple dates liked up and was pretty open about it.
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Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
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Old 11-24-2012, 01:40 PM   #2111
 
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Just wondering about some different point of view and thoughts. I met this guy he 'really liked me for a while' and I started liking him. We decided to 'take things slow and just get to know each other' but how long do yall think that period should last? And is it ok to 'get to know' other people at the same time?

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What do you mean 'really liked me for a while' and 'take things slow' etc.? Are these things he said? Are you quoting them bc you doubt the truthfulness? Who wanted to take things slowly? What is "a while?"

I actually think it's better if you see multiple people at first. But I don't think you should broadcast or mention it unless directly asked. No one likes hearing that. Everyone prefers to hope they are the only one. Until both people are truly ready to commit, continue to (discreetly) sample as much as you can of what is out there, as long as it doesn't cause you to spread yourself too thin.

But if I find someone I like more than everyone else I'm dealing with, I will want to settle into something with him w/in three months. Everyone is different and some people have more time and patience for playing the field than others. But I, personally, would start to get aggravated if, after three months or so, he still hadn't said or hinted he wanted me to be his.

(Not saying "hinting" is sufficient...but if he hinted, I would open it up for conversation.)
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Old 11-25-2012, 07:29 AM   #2112
 
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Has anyone tried "How About We"? That seems more my speed. I put up an OKCupid profile and it ended up being really just annoying more than anything.
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Old 11-25-2012, 02:31 PM   #2113
 
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Just wondering about some different point of view and thoughts. I met this guy he 'really liked me for a while' and I started liking him. We decided to 'take things slow and just get to know each other' but how long do yall think that period should last? And is it ok to 'get to know' other people at the same time?

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What do you mean 'really liked me for a while' and 'take things slow' etc.? Are these things he said? Are you quoting them bc you doubt the truthfulness? Who wanted to take things slowly? What is "a while?"

I actually think it's better if you see multiple people at first. But I don't think you should broadcast or mention it unless directly asked. No one likes hearing that. Everyone prefers to hope they are the only one. Until both people are truly ready to commit, continue to (discreetly) sample as much as you can of what is out there, as long as it doesn't cause you to spread yourself too thin.

But if I find someone I like more than everyone else I'm dealing with, I will want to settle into something with him w/in three months. Everyone is different and some people have more time and patience for playing the field than others. But I, personally, would start to get aggravated if, after three months or so, he still hadn't said or hinted he wanted me to be his.

(Not saying "hinting" is sufficient...but if he hinted, I would open it up for conversation.)
The really liked me part- 1 night he told me that he had liked me for a long time but he had a gf and cldnt do anything bout it but they had actually been done for awhile just hadnt technically broke up, she slept on the couch him in the bedroom for 3 months, because she couldnt afford to move out.

So when I found out he liked me of course my 1st thought is eff that he just wants a rebound and I aint doin that ish. And I had a stupid 2 weekends and hung out with a guy that is a mutual friend of ours.

1 night we talked and he told me all that about his and the ex breakup and how he had liked me since we met. And i told him about how i thought it was just a rebound like and how i thought that when I found out he liked me and the other guys said we cldnt hang out anymore it was bc they talked about it and didnt take my opinion into consideration, even tho I didnt really like the friend just liked having some1 to cuddle and make out with was still in the mentality of eff u cuz u dont care what I want. He told me that he didnt know about the friend and I or he wldnt have said anything but when he did the friend told him about how we hung out but it wld stop So we ended the talk on taking things slow and gettin to know each other. That was about a month and a half/ 2 months ago. But he has been having to go to texas during the week for his daughter and is looking at moving down there.

2 weeks ago 1 of our mutual friends new gf had a friend she introduced them 1 night when I wasnt at the bar and they were interested in each other, I didnt know this till last weekend. And stupid me being a nice person was cordial and friendly with these girls the night after they met. Last weekend he was acting weird and I asked him bout it and he said some1 told him that I was talking to this other girl about him bc we became friends on facebook( ya cuz that makes sense right) and i guess she stopped talkin to him so this person assumed it was bc of me. Friday night we had a straighten this crap out talk bc I was tired of the bs drama and lies. He thought I was still stuck on the other guy no matter what he did or how much he showed that he liked me so we are gunna have to take things 1 day at a time.

Sorry if that is long and confusing!
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Old 11-25-2012, 04:39 PM   #2114
 
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Long reply short, I don't think he's all that interested
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Old 11-25-2012, 06:53 PM   #2115
 
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Long reply short, I don't think he's all that interested
I agree. I couldn't follow your post 100% but generally you know when a guy is really interested. There are no mixed signals, men are pretty simple.
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Old 11-25-2012, 08:36 PM   #2116
 
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Has anyone tried "How About We"? That seems more my speed. I put up an OKCupid profile and it ended up being really just annoying more than anything.
I just made my OkC profile visible again. I hope it isn't as weird of an experience as it was three months ago. I looked up How about we? but read bad reviews about the website's security certificate.
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Old 11-27-2012, 07:48 PM   #2117
 
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Thats kind of what I was thinkin..... :/

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Old 11-28-2012, 08:20 PM   #2118
 
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Unless u have that talk abt not swing others, I usually assume that everyone is. I know I did. I had multiple dates liked up and was pretty open about it.
The "swing" typo is cracking me up!! I do feel like a swinger sometimes!
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Old 11-28-2012, 10:00 PM   #2119
 
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Lol...
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Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
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Old 12-05-2012, 01:40 AM   #2120
 
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There are normal guys on the free sites. But the free sites do get alot of wierdos...but they normally show thier true colors pretty fast. Asking for more pictures, wants to meet RIGHT AWAY for drinks...doesnt have much info in their profile. Im a PRO when it comes to online dating Its keeping them around for longer than 6 weeks that has me stumped...
wow u are good! I gotta keep an eye out for these signs thank for the tip



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