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Old 12-05-2012, 07:15 AM   #2121
 
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I tend to think the irrationality seen on dating sites affects both men and women. Intimating that men are the only ones causing mayhem is a bit shallow.
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Old 12-05-2012, 10:58 AM   #2122
 
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I never messaged guys that had like no info in their profile. That just screams..let me get this done and up quick so I can start getting numbers..lol
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Old 12-05-2012, 01:00 PM   #2123
 
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Do you agree with this statement? If so or if not, explain.

In retrospect, I could have rather easily predicted the outcome of most/all of my online-beginning relationships, based upon the email messages we exchanged on the site, prior to meeting AND/OR I could have tremendous insight into their personalities, based upon those emails.

(If your online interactions have never led to a relationship, plz don't reply.)
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Old 12-05-2012, 03:44 PM   #2124
 
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Default the world on online dating is a huge mystery

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@CanItBeChristine
@eccentric_kurlz
@rouquinne

I started reading this thread beginning to end last night and i am soo glad that i am not alone in the idea of online dating. Your gals have been on the thread consistently and i feel like I am a part of your journey to find love (although this is my first post).

i opened a POF acc sept this yr and began talking to a man we will call him "Baltimore" anyway we hit it off proper and although things were intense at first we really opened up to each other in ways i have never done so b4. I live in California and he in MD. He volunteered to move out here to be closer to me after 1 month of talking on the phone (daily) and although i felt a lot of pressure to make it work if he moved i agreed. to make a loooong story short he pulled a disappearing act on me the day he was suppose to move out . It all started the week of, we talked alot less than usual. He claimed it was b/c he was busy packing and arranging the move. I understood and didn't fuss. The day before the move we talked as if it was a regular day and he kept on telling me how nervous he was. I am a skeptic so i had the "ill believe it when im driving to meet up with you" attitude the entire time but the day before i really was excited because according to him everything was on schedule. we even discussed our plans for that weekend. the day of i didnt hear from him so I have tried to call him and the phone rang until vm picked up. this is where the mystery began I called from over 6 different #s and area codes, i have even blocked my # . i contacted the airlines they confirmed the flight info he gave me and said that fight had a successful landing but they couldnt give me passenger info. I then called all hospitals in his area AND correctional facilities...NOTHING. I intercepted his address (one i took from an envelope he wrote me on) it turns out it was his grandfathers address, which isnt too crazy since that house is under his name. So i signed up for spokeo acc its a white pages site that searches for people by phone #, address, username, or email when i put in the address his grandfathers # came up and i had my sister call him pretending to be me. The grandfather is 82 yrs old according to 'Baltimore' and his behavior that day confirmed he was elderly. He was hard of hearing and when we asked about 'Baltimore' he said he was not aware he was moving to california and that i should call him. then he rushed off the phone. this was all the week of thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving day i was optimistic b/c i anticipated a surprise appearance from him but that never happened.after searching, calling and texting for 2 weeks i decided to shift my focus to what always makes since to me; my faith. I prayed God for strength to get over the entire experience and to find closure even though i had no answers. And long behold He answered because today I feel more confident and at peace than ever. Before this i did write 'Baltimore' a final email as my way of letting it go. It was short and sweet thanking him for the good that came out of the experience.

What puzzled me the most about this is things were going so good. He was the one who wanted all of this, i was more apprehensive since the relationship was fairly new. i DIDN'T SEE ANY SIGNS except for the fact that he was pushy about a relationship without us even meeting.THIS CAME FROM NOWHERE THAT'S WHY I WAS SO RELENTLESS TO FIND ANSWERS.

At this point i am scorn and dont even want to trust anymore. like CanItBeChristine i am hoping for the ideal guy to fall out of the sky. You guys are so brave for taking a chance at love even despite of all your bad experiences i am pretty sure i will be open on day but right now i am using every reason to not date.

i did reactivate my POF under a different user name and have gotten 6 emails but it is not in me to reply. rite now its not being taken as serious as i once took it b4. even my profile info is a copy and paste paragraph my sister has on her page and bc i thought it was funny i put it on my page. I will copy it down here so you can see.

profile:

A little about myself I love God. I am believer, and would like to share that experience with a man that feels the same way. I am a women who is loyal to my man, has morals and values and would want the same. in addition I am very down to earth and fun to be around chick. I love dancing, and spending quality time with family and friends, but most importantly i like to grind. I am funny, sarcastic and full of personality.

I am not here for games, F*** buddy, or bull sh*t so if that's what your looking for don't waste your time or mines, I have no problem putting someone in their place if there being disrespectful. I think a great women deserves to be treat like as such, and vise versa. So if your that man that has his priories in line, inbox me. Treat me l right & I'll do the same, run game & I'll show you how its played. I'm no where near desperate, so that being said if you email me and I don't get back to you don't take it personal, were just not corresponding. I know what I want and I am not here to waste your time nor mine.


P.S HAS ANYONE HEARD UPDATE FROM eccentric_kurlz SHE HAD AN INTERESTING STORY AND MET A REALLY NICE GUY I WONDER HOW THAT TURNED OUT.
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Old 12-05-2012, 06:12 PM   #2125
 
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Most of my experiences were disappointing except for the most recent time. Either they just stop responding or things fizzle. I also have a location requirement...I don't say it but I don't message or respond to people too far...cause I worry about stuff like on that show catfish...I worry too much abt the future for a long distance thing.
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Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
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Old 12-06-2012, 07:06 AM   #2126
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000 View Post
Do you agree with this statement? If so or if not, explain.

In retrospect, I could have rather easily predicted the outcome of most/all of my online-beginning relationships, based upon the email messages we exchanged on the site, prior to meeting AND/OR I could have tremendous insight into their personalities, based upon those emails.

(If your online interactions have never led to a relationship, plz don't reply.)
What do you mean by "relationship"? Exclusive? Long-term?

I don't know if I've had a relationship come out of online dating according to your criteria. Right now I'm less than two months into dating someone, and it's the longest I've dated someone from online. I've also never gotten to the point of having a conversation about exclusivity (although there were times when I was dating only one person and I'm pretty sure he was only dating me). To answer the question, I do think that people do reveal their personalities in emails. I think I usually had a sense of what a person would be like to spend time with based on those initial emails. BUT I don't think I had a sense of their relationship issues or emotional intelligence. I had a sense of what they'd be like as a person but not as a potential boyfriend.

Anyway, things change. People can be really into you and then suddenly not into you. I don't think it's always "game" in those instances. Sometimes it's just a matter of being fickle, or realizing that someone is not for you once you know them better or once you take them off that pedestal.

One thing I will say doesn't have to do with the quality of emails but the quantity. There have been a couple of times when the guy has not been prompt with his replies and, because I was really interested, I ended up emailing twice to basically find out "Are you still there?" In both of those cases, they replied to say, "Sorry, I'm bad with email" or something like that. But obviously if you have to work hard to get them to reply to emails, they're not that interested.
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Old 12-07-2012, 08:28 AM   #2127
 
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What is an appropriate way to break up with someone after a little under 2 months of casual/non-exclusive dating? Phone? Text? In person? Disappearing act?
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Old 12-07-2012, 08:52 AM   #2128
 
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Originally Posted by ursula View Post
What is an appropriate way to break up with someone after a little under 2 months of casual/non-exclusive dating? Phone? Text? In person? Disappearing act?
Phone IMO. Why? What happened?
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Old 12-07-2012, 08:54 AM   #2129
 
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Originally Posted by dee-nature View Post
@GoddessCurls
@spiderlashes5000
@CanItBeChristine
@eccentric_kurlz
@rouquinne

I started reading this thread beginning to end last night and i am soo glad that i am not alone in the idea of online dating. Your gals have been on the thread consistently and i feel like I am a part of your journey to find love (although this is my first post).

i opened a POF acc sept this yr and began talking to a man we will call him "Baltimore" anyway we hit it off proper and although things were intense at first we really opened up to each other in ways i have never done so b4. I live in California and he in MD. He volunteered to move out here to be closer to me after 1 month of talking on the phone (daily) and although i felt a lot of pressure to make it work if he moved i agreed. to make a loooong story short he pulled a disappearing act on me the day he was suppose to move out . It all started the week of, we talked alot less than usual. He claimed it was b/c he was busy packing and arranging the move. I understood and didn't fuss. The day before the move we talked as if it was a regular day and he kept on telling me how nervous he was. I am a skeptic so i had the "ill believe it when im driving to meet up with you" attitude the entire time but the day before i really was excited because according to him everything was on schedule. we even discussed our plans for that weekend. the day of i didnt hear from him so I have tried to call him and the phone rang until vm picked up. this is where the mystery began I called from over 6 different #s and area codes, i have even blocked my # . i contacted the airlines they confirmed the flight info he gave me and said that fight had a successful landing but they couldnt give me passenger info. I then called all hospitals in his area AND correctional facilities...NOTHING. I intercepted his address (one i took from an envelope he wrote me on) it turns out it was his grandfathers address, which isnt too crazy since that house is under his name. So i signed up for spokeo acc its a white pages site that searches for people by phone #, address, username, or email when i put in the address his grandfathers # came up and i had my sister call him pretending to be me. The grandfather is 82 yrs old according to 'Baltimore' and his behavior that day confirmed he was elderly. He was hard of hearing and when we asked about 'Baltimore' he said he was not aware he was moving to california and that i should call him. then he rushed off the phone. this was all the week of thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving day i was optimistic b/c i anticipated a surprise appearance from him but that never happened.after searching, calling and texting for 2 weeks i decided to shift my focus to what always makes since to me; my faith. I prayed God for strength to get over the entire experience and to find closure even though i had no answers. And long behold He answered because today I feel more confident and at peace than ever. Before this i did write 'Baltimore' a final email as my way of letting it go. It was short and sweet thanking him for the good that came out of the experience.

What puzzled me the most about this is things were going so good. He was the one who wanted all of this, i was more apprehensive since the relationship was fairly new. i DIDN'T SEE ANY SIGNS except for the fact that he was pushy about a relationship without us even meeting.THIS CAME FROM NOWHERE THAT'S WHY I WAS SO RELENTLESS TO FIND ANSWERS.

At this point i am scorn and dont even want to trust anymore. like CanItBeChristine i am hoping for the ideal guy to fall out of the sky. You guys are so brave for taking a chance at love even despite of all your bad experiences i am pretty sure i will be open on day but right now i am using every reason to not date.

i did reactivate my POF under a different user name and have gotten 6 emails but it is not in me to reply. rite now its not being taken as serious as i once took it b4. even my profile info is a copy and paste paragraph my sister has on her page and bc i thought it was funny i put it on my page. I will copy it down here so you can see.

profile:

A little about myself I love God. I am believer, and would like to share that experience with a man that feels the same way. I am a women who is loyal to my man, has morals and values and would want the same. in addition I am very down to earth and fun to be around chick. I love dancing, and spending quality time with family and friends, but most importantly i like to grind. I am funny, sarcastic and full of personality.

I am not here for games, F*** buddy, or bull sh*t so if that's what your looking for don't waste your time or mines, I have no problem putting someone in their place if there being disrespectful. I think a great women deserves to be treat like as such, and vise versa. So if your that man that has his priories in line, inbox me. Treat me l right & I'll do the same, run game & I'll show you how its played. I'm no where near desperate, so that being said if you email me and I don't get back to you don't take it personal, were just not corresponding. I know what I want and I am not here to waste your time nor mine.


P.S HAS ANYONE HEARD UPDATE FROM eccentric_kurlz SHE HAD AN INTERESTING STORY AND MET A REALLY NICE GUY I WONDER HOW THAT TURNED OUT.

Are you looking for feedback on the profile or just sharing?
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Old 12-07-2012, 09:07 AM   #2130
 
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I can't remember who said she doesn't like to talk to guys she meets online prior to the first date. (Ursula?)

Well, I have been going out on a crapload of dates lately. I normally always talk to them (at least twice) before the first date. But the pace lately has been so hectic, I let one slide w/o a phone call. He called but I didn't answer and didn't have time to return the call.

Well, I went out w/ him this past Wed and...not sure how to explain this but...I believe, I mean, I truly believe he is borderline mentally retarded. Really.

And now I can't shake him.

This is so awful.

The date was so bizarre and so have been subsequent conversations (or should I say "conversations?")

I messed up and mistexted somethibg about another guy I'm talking to to him and now he is confused and kind of worked up into a tizzy. (But still wants to go out w/ me this Sunday.)

Help! LOL
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Old 12-07-2012, 09:50 AM   #2131
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000 View Post
I can't remember who said she doesn't like to talk to guys she meets online prior to the first date. (Ursula?)

Well, I have been going out on a crapload of dates lately. I normally always talk to them (at least twice) before the first date. But the pace lately has been so hectic, I let one slide w/o a phone call. He called but I didn't answer and didn't have time to return the call.

Well, I went out w/ him this past Wed and...not sure how to explain this but...I believe, I mean, I truly believe he is borderline mentally retarded. Really.

And now I can't shake him.

This is so awful.

The date was so bizarre and so have been subsequent conversations (or should I say "conversations?")

I messed up and mistexted somethibg about another guy I'm talking to to him and now he is confused and kind of worked up into a tizzy. (But still wants to go out w/ me this Sunday.)

Help! LOL
Why can't you just say no? Or not contact him? If he keeps on contacting say you're not interested.
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:21 AM   #2132
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josephine View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000 View Post
I can't remember who said she doesn't like to talk to guys she meets online prior to the first date. (Ursula?)

Well, I have been going out on a crapload of dates lately. I normally always talk to them (at least twice) before the first date. But the pace lately has been so hectic, I let one slide w/o a phone call. He called but I didn't answer and didn't have time to return the call.

Well, I went out w/ him this past Wed and...not sure how to explain this but...I believe, I mean, I truly believe he is borderline mentally retarded. Really.

And now I can't shake him.

This is so awful.

The date was so bizarre and so have been subsequent conversations (or should I say "conversations?")

I messed up and mistexted somethibg about another guy I'm talking to to him and now he is confused and kind of worked up into a tizzy. (But still wants to go out w/ me this Sunday.)

Help! LOL
Why can't you just say no? Or not contact him? If he keeps on contacting say you're not interested.
That, of course, is my plan. Just not sure of how to say it. Or how to explain it when he asks why...which I know he will do.

I suspect he will continue to contact me bc he thinks we're going out to the that expensive Brazilian steakhouse chain on Sunday.

Most people can pick up these kids of cues (and I am very good at sending them). But he can't.

Hypothetic convo:

Him: So, how are you today?

Me: I'm good, thanks.

Him: Me, too. I slept good thinking about you last night.

Me: That's nice of you to say but I have to say, I'm not really feeling a love connection here.

Him: Why not?

Me: I just believe we are too different. We don't have enough in common.

Him: But we've only been out once. It's too soon to tell.

Me: I'm pretty sure about this. I know my type. I think you're very nice but you aren't my type.

Would something like that work? (He gets confused about very basic stuff.)
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:34 AM   #2133
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Josephine View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000 View Post
I can't remember who said she doesn't like to talk to guys she meets online prior to the first date. (Ursula?)

Well, I have been going out on a crapload of dates lately. I normally always talk to them (at least twice) before the first date. But the pace lately has been so hectic, I let one slide w/o a phone call. He called but I didn't answer and didn't have time to return the call.

Well, I went out w/ him this past Wed and...not sure how to explain this but...I believe, I mean, I truly believe he is borderline mentally retarded. Really.

And now I can't shake him.

This is so awful.

The date was so bizarre and so have been subsequent conversations (or should I say "conversations?")

I messed up and mistexted somethibg about another guy I'm talking to to him and now he is confused and kind of worked up into a tizzy. (But still wants to go out w/ me this Sunday.)

Help! LOL
Why can't you just say no? Or not contact him? If he keeps on contacting say you're not interested.
That, of course, is my plan. Just not sure of how to say it. Or how to explain it when he asks why...which I know he will do.

I suspect he will continue to contact me bc he thinks we're going out to the that expensive Brazilian steakhouse chain on Sunday.

Most people can pick up these kids of cues (and I am very good at sending them). But he can't.

Hypothetic convo:

Him: So, how are you today?

Me: I'm good, thanks.

Him: Me, too. I slept good thinking about you last night.

Me: That's nice of you to say but I have to say, I'm not really feeling a love connection here.

Him: Why not?

Me: I just believe we are too different. We don't have enough in common.

Him: But we've only been out once. It's too soon to tell.

Me: I'm pretty sure about this. I know my type. I think you're very nice but you aren't my type.

Would something like that work? (He gets confused about very basic stuff.)
Normally yes.
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Old 12-08-2012, 08:52 AM   #2134
 
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ursula View Post
What is an appropriate way to break up with someone after a little under 2 months of casual/non-exclusive dating? Phone? Text? In person? Disappearing act?
Phone IMO. Why? What happened?
Oh, I don't want to go into it. Things got bad.

I hope the hypothetical convo worked, by the way!
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Old 12-09-2012, 12:23 AM   #2135
 
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Just sharing.





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Old 12-09-2012, 04:30 PM   #2136
 
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I just had someone reply to an (initial!) message I sent by basically telling me that my ovaries were too shriveled up...
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Old 12-09-2012, 06:02 PM   #2137
 
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@ursula
...wait....what?! Are u kidding?
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Old 12-09-2012, 08:29 PM   #2138
 
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Well, he didn't say it like that, but he said he doesn't like to date women his age because he wants kids. Basically implying that it's too late for me and my eggs aren't any good. But if I wanted to go out anyway he'd be up for it.
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Old 12-09-2012, 08:31 PM   #2139
 
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I should also say that I'm still in my 30s and, even though it may not be as easy as it would be for a 25 year old, I'm pretty sure I still have a few child bearing years left!
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Old 12-09-2012, 08:38 PM   #2140
 
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What a creep!
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Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
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