The Official Online Dating Diaries Thread

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if he is traditional as you say then he prolly prefer to pay for the first date thats why i would suggest a small non-intimate gift. i dont know him well enough to suggest gifts that he would like but maybe something related to his work. maybe a pen, cufflink, tie ...i would stay away from undiebuddies at least until the 3rd date.

if you were to offer to pay for the movie or dinner i dont think he would see that as a gift for his promotion.
spiderlashes5000 likes this.
So I have been waiting to meet this one guy for two months! (We had two other dates planned but things came up and, in general, we've both been busy.)

And we're finally supposed to be going out tonight.

He is the one who seems like a great catch and is my exbf's former supervisor.

Anyway, the plan is that he will be taking me to see Django and then out to dinner.

So we were talking last night and he told me that he just got promoted at work (as of yesterday).

He's really into his career and I can tell this promotion is a big deal to him.

So should I take him out tonight (our first date) instead of letting him take me?

Or maybe I could pay for dinner and he could pay for the movie?

Normally, I have a very strict expectation that the guy pays for the first few dates...just on general principle and also after a few bad experiences w/ cheap or broke men.

But I don't mind making an exception, in this case, to celebrate the good news with this guy...if I can bring it up w/o it seeming awkward for setting a bad precedent.

The guy seems a bit traditional and like a man's man, so I'm not sure how he would take it anyway.

What would you do?
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Not sure if you have time to read this but it sounds like he kind of knows you already? If he does, I definitely would let him treat you. This is what I call a true first date ( as opposed to going out with someone met online). He has some information about you ,so to me that says there is a lot of interest on his part. Also, he is suggesting dinner and a movie. He is making the date long before it starts.
I think this is a good indicator. Update! Update!! I'll be checking.
Still no update? Where are you SL? Lol
3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
Still no update? Where are you SL? Lol
Originally Posted by multicultcurly
My bad; I had a second thread going on nonhair about this. "First date question" or something.

The date was nice. I couldn't decide on a bottle of something to get him to acknowledge his promotion so i just showed up empty-handed.

He was really nice. Really enjoyed my evening w/ him. We had to change our mtg plans at the last minute and I wound up getting lost and getting kinda frustrated right before the movei. And he stayed really calm about it and kept making jokes about it once I got there, so it lightened the mood and gave some (positive) insight into his personality.

He told me I was a "keeper" and was trying to get me to say I wanted to hang out w/ him again that wknd.

In a strange turn of events, my exbf who used to be supervised by him but who hasn't seen him or spoke to him in a year, had to call him last week for a work-related issue.

And during that call, my exbf told him he knows me and said some nice things about me...so that kinda set a nice tone for the date, too. We both kinda went into the date with good reports from a mutual acquaintence.

The two biggest issues w/ him are 1) bc of the promotion, a relocation might be in his future, which could def put some immediate limitations on the relationship.

2) we have some some serious phone incompatibility issues. I just got a new phone so hopefully that will resolve half of them. But there have been some big communication fails on his end, too, and that kinda thing can be disasterous in a new relationship.

But anyway, we're going out again tomorrow night. And I'm just gonna play it by ear. Maybe making a quick trip back to the supermarket for a bottle of congratulatory wine...maybe safer than liquor.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

is there some rule of online dating that every man over the age of 40 who is single must be named Steve, Bill, Rob or Paul????

My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
What, no new dating stories?

I'm back at square one, as usual. Feeling pretty down in the dumps about my romantic life! And it doesn't help that Valentine's Day is around the corner.

I went on 2 dates this weekend (one was a first date and the other was a second date) and I just don't feel like going forward with either one. The first date guy didn't look like his pictures. He wasn't unattractive, but not what I was expecting and not what I'd normally go for. And the date itself was just OK. I'm not attracted to the second date guy at all. I wanted to go on a 2nd date to be sure, because I really, really, really want to like him. We're sort of perfect for each other otherwise.

Just curious: has anyone here gone to a Match Stir event? I'm thinking of going to one. How awkward would it be to see guys I wrote messages to who never wrote me back? Or vice versa? That would be hilarious.
In search of a lost signature...
I'm going to try speed dating and see how it goes. I'm hoping it will be as fun as it seemed in 40-year-old virgin, but I shall see.

Ursula - if you go to the Match stir event, you have to let us know how it goes.
3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
I'm going to try speed dating and see how it goes. I'm hoping it will be as fun as it seemed in 40-year-old virgin, but I shall see.

Ursula - if you go to the Match stir event, you have to let us know how it goes.
Originally Posted by multicultcurly
I did a speed dating event a while back. It was very well organized & fun (IN THEORY). But the guys at my event were soooooooo homely & unappealing, I seriously considered excusing myself during a round switch & not coming back.

I hope u get a better crop to choose from!

Sent from my SCH-I605 using CurlTalk App
Josephine likes this.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

What, no new dating stories?

I'm back at square one, as usual. Feeling pretty down in the dumps about my romantic life! And it doesn't help that Valentine's Day is around the corner.

I went on 2 dates this weekend (one was a first date and the other was a second date) and I just don't feel like going forward with either one. The first date guy didn't look like his pictures. He wasn't unattractive, but not what I was expecting and not what I'd normally go for. And the date itself was just OK. I'm not attracted to the second date guy at all. I wanted to go on a 2nd date to be sure, because I really, really, really want to like him. We're sort of perfect for each other otherwise.

Just curious: has anyone here gone to a Match Stir event? I'm thinking of going to one. How awkward would it be to see guys I wrote messages to who never wrote me back? Or vice versa? That would be hilarious.
Originally Posted by ursula
I'm still seeing the guy I mentioned above who got promoted. I can't say enough about this guy -- smart, got his ish together, funny, polite, etc.

Apparently, his profile is still up but he keeps telling me his online subscription has run out and he is not planning on renewing it. I guess he is waiting for me to say the same thing?

My subscription has ended, too. And my profile is still up. I don't even log on anymore (bc it's almost pointless w/ an expired subscription and also bc I'm happy w/ him and don't really have the time or interest to continue meeting new guys).

But a lot of men will just throw the "my subscription is about to end/just ended" line out there more as a test than a real statement of intentions. And responding likewise too fast can be just as big a mistake as taking too long.

So not sure when to respond to that.

I am definitely willing to remove my profile, tho.

The bigger complication is that I've been seeing someone else on and off for the past year and a half. So I guess if I remove my profile, I will have to cut things off w/ my on-and-off guy, too.

I hadn't really expected to have to make that decision so soon but maybe I do.

The new guy is great. But it's hard to end things w/ someone you've been dealing w/ for so long.

I will need to figure this out asap.
Josephine and violets like this.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 02-04-2013 at 09:42 AM.
nothing to report...

lots of new contacts lately, but they go nowhere after a few emails.

one of them asked me for full-length pictures even though i say in my profile that i'm fat, there are NO full-length pictures, period.

*sigh*
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
I'm going to try speed dating and see how it goes. I'm hoping it will be as fun as it seemed in 40-year-old virgin, but I shall see.

Ursula - if you go to the Match stir event, you have to let us know how it goes.
Originally Posted by multicultcurly
Well, I spoke too soon. The Stir thing is tonight and my friend who was supposed to go with me canceled. I don't want to go alone so I guess I'm skipping it. I even dressed up in a very work-to-cocktails kind of outfit this morning and everything! I wore a skirt for nothing!
In search of a lost signature...
What, no new dating stories?

I'm back at square one, as usual. Feeling pretty down in the dumps about my romantic life! And it doesn't help that Valentine's Day is around the corner.

I went on 2 dates this weekend (one was a first date and the other was a second date) and I just don't feel like going forward with either one. The first date guy didn't look like his pictures. He wasn't unattractive, but not what I was expecting and not what I'd normally go for. And the date itself was just OK. I'm not attracted to the second date guy at all. I wanted to go on a 2nd date to be sure, because I really, really, really want to like him. We're sort of perfect for each other otherwise.

Just curious: has anyone here gone to a Match Stir event? I'm thinking of going to one. How awkward would it be to see guys I wrote messages to who never wrote me back? Or vice versa? That would be hilarious.
Originally Posted by ursula
I don't think it should feel awkward. We can't be everything to everybody...and there could be all sorts of factors that led to the person not replying to you.

(I failed to erply to someone's emails twice. Months, later, he tried again for a third time. I finally replied and we were together for over a year. I just wasn't checking my inbox much during the firs two times he emailed me.)
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

I'm going to try speed dating and see how it goes. I'm hoping it will be as fun as it seemed in 40-year-old virgin, but I shall see.

Ursula - if you go to the Match stir event, you have to let us know how it goes.
Originally Posted by multicultcurly
Well, I spoke too soon. The Stir thing is tonight and my friend who was supposed to go with me canceled. I don't want to go alone so I guess I'm skipping it. I even dressed up in a very work-to-cocktails kind of outfit this morning and everything! I wore a skirt for nothing!
Originally Posted by ursula
No, you didn't! At least go to happy hour and get some mileage outta that skirt!
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

I'm going to try speed dating and see how it goes. I'm hoping it will be as fun as it seemed in 40-year-old virgin, but I shall see.

Ursula - if you go to the Match stir event, you have to let us know how it goes.
Originally Posted by multicultcurly
I did a speed dating event a while back. It was very well organized & fun (IN THEORY). But the guys at my event were soooooooo homely & unappealing, I seriously considered excusing myself during a round switch & not coming back.

I hope u get a better crop to choose from!

Sent from my SCH-I605 using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
Lol. I hope that isn't the case when I go.
3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
so, PoF has this new thing for women only called "Top Prospects" - the men they think are perfect for you.

#1 is someone i know locally who claims that he is in financial difficulty since his divorce - a divorce that took place over 20 years ago with no children involved. and i happen to know the pay scale for his job and he makes REALLY good money.

#2 to 4 are in cities far away - yeah, right!

#5 and i have NOTHING in common, what's wrong with the algorithm at this place?????

#6 and 7 would be possibilities if they didn't live in other cities - not as far as 2 to 4.

everyone after that are people i've contacted or who have contacted me or we've even gone out and it didn't go anywhere - one because i caught him cheating on his wife! or the ones who live 700 km away and might have contacted me back when i lived in Ottawa.

*sigh*

i think i'm going to get Amy Webb's book and see if i can work on this myself...

#5 sent me an email over the weekend. i finally deleted this morning without sending a reply - i just can't see myself with someone with that list of interests.

My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
an observation that may be *way* off base, but i am SO glad that i am not attempting to date any men in Ireland and the UK.

they post some of the stupidest questions and responses on the forums on PoF and then rant and belittle women at the drop of a hat if one dares to disagree with them.



and the stupidly suggestive screen names - "xxx4u" was today's - yep, i kid you not!

My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
Lol at xxx4u

I'm not doing much of dating except with my ex, which isn't so great. He is an awesome guy, but I'm ready for someone who is ready for marriage. My ex and I have gone out for almost four years, yet he didn't feel comfortable moving in with me. I know he sees himself marrying me, but in two to three years.

I think I'm just burnt out and ready to find the one. It shouldn't take more than two years of dating to move to the next step once you're older than 25, but that could just be me. :-)

I haven't done speed dating. I am waiting for the 30 and older event. The one available to me now is ages 23-39. Honestly, i don't want to bother with anyone younger than 30.
3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
Lol at xxx4u

I'm not doing much of dating except with my ex, which isn't so great. He is an awesome guy, but I'm ready for someone who is ready for marriage. My ex and I have gone out for almost four years, yet he didn't feel comfortable moving in with me. I know he sees himself marrying me, but in two to three years.

I think I'm just burnt out and ready to find the one. It shouldn't take more than two years of dating to move to the next step once you're older than 25, but that could just be me. :-)

I haven't done speed dating. I am waiting for the 30 and older event. The one available to me now is ages 23-39. Honestly, i don't want to bother with anyone younger than 30.
Originally Posted by multicultcurly
Yeah, I ran into the same problem with the speed dating events I looked into. The age ranges would have included men in their early 20s and the idea of having a mini-date with a 23 yo was laughable to me.

I feel you on the burnt out thing. I had fun dating around at first but now I'm ready to get serious. I'm getting tired of constantly meeting new people and starting all over again and again.

And on that note: do you guys think it's inappropriate to say on a date that you're looking for something that will lead to marriage? Or to ask if he's looking for that? If you think it's inappropriate on the first date (as I imagine most people do), at which date would you consider it OK?
In search of a lost signature...
And on that note: do you guys think it's inappropriate to say on a date that you're looking for something that will lead to marriage? Or to ask if he's looking for that? If you think it's inappropriate on the first date (as I imagine most people do), at which date would you consider it OK?
Originally Posted by ursula
It depends on the maturity of the person. I think a man who is 35 or older and not recently divorced would be open to a "where is this relationship headed" discussion after two weeks to a month of exclusive dating. However, I wouldn't bring up marriage on a first date, especially if you don't know him well. Maybe after a week or so of getting to know each other, then I would bring up the topic of what you're both looking for. If you engage in the three date sex rule, then bring it up on the second date.
3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
... do you guys think it's inappropriate to say on a date that you're looking for something that will lead to marriage? Or to ask if he's looking for that? If you think it's inappropriate on the first date (as I imagine most people do), at which date would you consider it OK?
Originally Posted by ursula
i have it in my profile:

I am seeking a long-term relationship that will lead to marriage.

and then when they ask me in email what i'm looking for, i *know* they haven't read my profile!

My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!

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