The Official Online Dating Diaries Thread

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so i've been home sick for a couple of days (cortisone injections into the tendons of my hands for my de Quervain's syndrome and typing is one thing i can still reasonably accomplish) and reading LOTS of men's profiles at Plenty of Fish.

i am SO tired of the following:

looking for good-hearted lady
warm-hearted
looking for honesty
honest decent woman
down to earth
young at heart
takes pride in herself (euphemism for "thin")
takes care of herself (another euphemism for "thin")
soul-mate
best friend
looking for fun (usually of the no-strings attached variety - *winky*)
no head games
truthful

and they put stuff like that in their headline, never mind what they have in their profiles.

so many men whine about the women just after them for money, but when you read their profile through, they want much younger, child-free and "fit" (yet another euphemism for "thin"). and those are the ones that either haven't looked in a mirror in a long while based on the pic they're posting, or have no pic posted but assure you in said profile that they are "considered to be very good-looking".

*sigh*

i'm fat and i'm 50... i'm doomed....
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
wow!




Sleepless in Seattle

Hello, my name is James. I wanted to write you a letter and introduce myself. I fell in love with your profile when I read it. I think there should be more people in the world as awesome as you. I appreciate that you value happiness, keeping childhood friendships, and also working as a publicist for a Broadway producer. You are beautiful... I love your long hair!
I consider myself strong, passionate, and a "hopeful" (not a hopeless!) romantic. I've worked at Marshalls Department Store (we are affiliated with TJ Maxx) for the last six years. I have been studying Music Therapy to use my talents in music to help children, the sick, and the elderly. My main instruments are guitar, piano, and voice. I also volunteer playing live music at Eger Nursing Home on Staten Island. Having people sing along and remember their loved ones is a rewarding experience. Favorite Broadway s hows: Les Miserables (I have three cast recordings and a VHS), RENT, Phantom Of The Opera, Man Of La Mancha, Little Shop Of Horrors. Favorite Broadway performers include Colm Wilkinson, Frances Rufelle, Adam Pascal, Anthony Rapp, Gerard Butler (2004 movie Phantom), and Emmy Rossum.
Tell me more about yourself! Pick one actress to play you in your autobiography. What are five songs you would put on the soundtrack that have special meaning to you? Why? Name your top 5 favorite Broadway shows. Why do you adore Wendy Wasserstein?

I would love to get to know you,
James
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
This guy sounds absolutely creepy.
I think there should be more people in the world as awesome as you
Are you serious? He has not met you and he is talking like this.
Having people sing along and remember their loved ones is a rewarding experience.
That line should be a red flag. He sounds like the character Matt Dillon played in "Something about Mary"

I would stay away from that guy. He is hiding something with this BS.
Women.... Who made 'em? God must have been a... genius. Their hair. They say that the hair is everything, you know? Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls, and just wanted to go to sleep forever?
wow!




Sleepless in Seattle

Hello, my name is James. I wanted to write you a letter and introduce myself. I fell in love with your profile when I read it. I think there should be more people in the world as awesome as you. I appreciate that you value happiness, keeping childhood friendships, and also working as a publicist for a Broadway producer. You are beautiful... I love your long hair!
I consider myself strong, passionate, and a "hopeful" (not a hopeless!) romantic. I've worked at Marshalls Department Store (we are affiliated with TJ Maxx) for the last six years. I have been studying Music Therapy to use my talents in music to help children, the sick, and the elderly. My main instruments are guitar, piano, and voice. I also volunteer playing live music at Eger Nursing Home on Staten Island. Having people sing along and remember their loved ones is a rewarding experience. Favorite Broadway s hows: Les Miserables (I have three cast recordings and a VHS), RENT, Phantom Of The Opera, Man Of La Mancha, Little Shop Of Horrors. Favorite Broadway performers include Colm Wilkinson, Frances Rufelle, Adam Pascal, Anthony Rapp, Gerard Butler (2004 movie Phantom), and Emmy Rossum.
Tell me more about yourself! Pick one actress to play you in your autobiography. What are five songs you would put on the soundtrack that have special meaning to you? Why? Name your top 5 favorite Broadway shows. Why do you adore Wendy Wasserstein?

I would love to get to know you,
James
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
This guy sounds absolutely creepy.
I think there should be more people in the world as awesome as you
Are you serious? He has not met you and he is talking like this.
Having people sing along and remember their loved ones is a rewarding experience.
That line should be a red flag. He sounds like the character Matt Dillon played in "Something about Mary"

I would stay away from that guy. He is hiding something with this BS.
Originally Posted by MedStudent1
Did you read my other posts about him?! Majorly started creeping me out so I stopped responding and he stopped writing after I didn't respond to about five messages in a row............................................... .........
wow!




Sleepless in Seattle

Hello, my name is James. I wanted to write you a letter and introduce myself. I fell in love with your profile when I read it. I think there should be more people in the world as awesome as you. I appreciate that you value happiness, keeping childhood friendships, and also working as a publicist for a Broadway producer. You are beautiful... I love your long hair!
I consider myself strong, passionate, and a "hopeful" (not a hopeless!) romantic. I've worked at Marshalls Department Store (we are affiliated with TJ Maxx) for the last six years. I have been studying Music Therapy to use my talents in music to help children, the sick, and the elderly. My main instruments are guitar, piano, and voice. I also volunteer playing live music at Eger Nursing Home on Staten Island. Having people sing along and remember their loved ones is a rewarding experience. Favorite Broadway s hows: Les Miserables (I have three cast recordings and a VHS), RENT, Phantom Of The Opera, Man Of La Mancha, Little Shop Of Horrors. Favorite Broadway performers include Colm Wilkinson, Frances Rufelle, Adam Pascal, Anthony Rapp, Gerard Butler (2004 movie Phantom), and Emmy Rossum.
Tell me more about yourself! Pick one actress to play you in your autobiography. What are five songs you would put on the soundtrack that have special meaning to you? Why? Name your top 5 favorite Broadway shows. Why do you adore Wendy Wasserstein?

I would love to get to know you,
James
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
This guy sounds absolutely creepy.
I think there should be more people in the world as awesome as you
Are you serious? He has not met you and he is talking like this.
Having people sing along and remember their loved ones is a rewarding experience.
That line should be a red flag. He sounds like the character Matt Dillon played in "Something about Mary"

I would stay away from that guy. He is hiding something with this BS.
Originally Posted by MedStudent1
Did you read my other posts about him?! Majorly started creeping me out so I stopped responding and he stopped writing after I didn't respond to about five messages in a row............................................... .........
Originally Posted by CanItBeChristine
Yeah, I read those. Starting to work my way backwards in this thread.

A lot of these long emails sound like gay guys. what's with the caring for old ladies bit? I see that theme in a couple of them. Does that attract women or something?
Women.... Who made 'em? God must have been a... genius. Their hair. They say that the hair is everything, you know? Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls, and just wanted to go to sleep forever?
i guess i should have expected this....

tonight i got an email from someone saying how much he liked my profile.

but why was i using such an OLD picture? isn't it better to go with "truth in advertising"?

*sigh*

My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
oh geez... i just got a reply from him - i had written back explaining that i've always protected myself from the sun and that THAT *is* what i look like.

Wow rouquinne
Very nice skin. You look very lovely. I am pretty active and fit. I might be a good influence.


have i mentioned that i'm very blunt about being fat in my profile?

*double sigh*
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043
CIBC...I just wanted to tell you that whenever I hear the song...I Haven't Met You Yet..that I always think of you
Well, my bf of 13 months and I decided to take a break.

So I'm getting back out there. I've been online for a few days and I'm shooting the breeze w/ four really nice(seeming) men.

Wish me luck!
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

Here's a question -- how long do you normally converse w/ these guys via the dating site interface before you exchange real email addresses and phone numbers?

How long before you meet in person? (Or was that already covered upthread? Sorry, I haven't read thru everything.)
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 06-07-2010 at 01:41 PM.
oh geez... i just got a reply from him - i had written back explaining that i've always protected myself from the sun and that THAT *is* what i look like.

Wow rouquinne
Very nice skin. You look very lovely. I am pretty active and fit. I might be a good influence.

have i mentioned that i'm very blunt about being fat in my profile?

*double sigh*
Originally Posted by rouquinne
Why do you doubt that these guys are full of it? Maybe he really IS interested in meeting you? Seriously...if you are open about being overweight, many guys would just breeze past you without a second thought...if this guy is trying to convince you to go out with him...why all the sighing?
oh geez... i just got a reply from him - i had written back explaining that i've always protected myself from the sun and that THAT *is* what i look like.

Wow rouquinne
Very nice skin. You look very lovely. I am pretty active and fit. I might be a good influence.

have i mentioned that i'm very blunt about being fat in my profile?

*double sigh*
Originally Posted by rouquinne
Why do you doubt that these guys are full of it? Maybe he really IS interested in meeting you? Seriously...if you are open about being overweight, many guys would just breeze past you without a second thought...if this guy is trying to convince you to go out with him...why all the sighing?
Originally Posted by M2LR
Not Rou, but I saw the bolded as a bit demeaning. "Hey, hang out with my fit awesome self and you won't be fat anymore! I'll fix you!"
Kiva! Microfinance works.

Med/Coarse, porous curly.
oh geez... i just got a reply from him - i had written back explaining that i've always protected myself from the sun and that THAT *is* what i look like.

Wow rouquinne
Very nice skin. You look very lovely. I am pretty active and fit. I might be a good influence.

have i mentioned that i'm very blunt about being fat in my profile?

*double sigh*
Originally Posted by rouquinne
Why do you doubt that these guys are full of it? Maybe he really IS interested in meeting you? Seriously...if you are open about being overweight, many guys would just breeze past you without a second thought...if this guy is trying to convince you to go out with him...why all the sighing?
Originally Posted by M2LR
Not Rou, but I saw the bolded as a bit demeaning. "Hey, hang out with my fit awesome self and you won't be fat anymore! I'll fix you!"
Originally Posted by redcelticcurls
I guess I read it differently.

Why do you doubt that these guys are full of it? Maybe he really IS interested in meeting you? Seriously...if you are open about being overweight, many guys would just breeze past you without a second thought...if this guy is trying to convince you to go out with him...why all the sighing?
Originally Posted by M2LR
Not Rou, but I saw the bolded as a bit demeaning. "Hey, hang out with my fit awesome self and you won't be fat anymore! I'll fix you!"
Originally Posted by redcelticcurls
I guess I read it differently.
Originally Posted by M2LR
I think it depends on how her profile reads.

If she downed herself in her profile for being fat then I'm sure he intrepreted it as something that she is unhappy about. So he probably made the comment to seem nice and helpful.

If she never mentioned being fat or couched it in a neutral or positive way, then it would be tacky and rude for him to say that.

I'm curious to know what "I'm very blunt about being fat" means. Self disclosure is one thing...but self deprication is another, entirely.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Not Rou, but I saw the bolded as a bit demeaning. "Hey, hang out with my fit awesome self and you won't be fat anymore! I'll fix you!"
Originally Posted by redcelticcurls
I guess I read it differently.
Originally Posted by M2LR
I think it depends on how her profile reads.

If she downed herself in her profile for being fat then I'm sure he intrepreted it as something that she is unhappy about. So he probably made the comment to seem nice and helpful.

If she never mentioned being fat or couched it in a neutral or positive way, then it would be tacky and rude for him to say that.

I'm curious to know what "I'm very blunt about being fat" means. Self disclosure is one thing...but self deprication is another, entirely.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000
I totally agree, but like you said she did say that she's blunt about being fat. If he'd just seen her picture and her profile mentions nothing about weight, then HELL YEAH! JERK!!!
here's EXACTLY what it says in my profile:

Did I mention FAT?

I recently lost a lot of weight but I'm still overweight. If you're looking for fit, trim, proportionate... please move on.


and i thought the same thing RCC did.
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
Hey, MedStudent....Is that you in your avatar? Or a scrubs pic? (lol).....Anywho, I met my last BF on match.com, but I'm skeptical of going back online only because I really don't want people to see my face on those sites anymore. Do you girls post pictures right away? Or just fill out the info? Also, what are the most popular sites that you are using now? My friend told me about Plenty of Fish, but I heard that was more of a non-serious booty call type site, LOL.
3b/c :: Fine :: Porous

I My Hair
here's EXACTLY what it says in my profile:

Did I mention FAT?

I recently lost a lot of weight but I'm still overweight. If you're looking for fit, trim, proportionate... please move on.

and i thought the same thing RCC did.
Originally Posted by rouquinne

The fact you say your recently lost some weight implies that it is/was your desire to be slimmer. So while I can't vouch for the guy's overall intentions, I think his comment might have been meant to sound more supportive and helpful than critical.

The whole thing about being fat, though, sounds kinda defensive to me. Is it common for overweight women to say things like that in their profiles? I've never seen anything like that in a man's profile.

Not trying to put you on the spot...but I just remember reading how women sometimes sabotage themselves in online dating.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

I've got a question. I'm being dead serious.

There is one guy in particular who is extremely persistent in his attempts to reach out to me. We've emailed a few time. Everything in his profile and emails sounds good. But the more I flip thru his pictures, the more I think he is really just a very butch woman or a woman transitioning to a man. (Or maybe all of the recent threads on NC about that have me paranoid.)

Would it be wrong to just ask him?

Normally, I would just start ignoring him but he is very persistent and very nice.

***

Another question:

There is another guy:
We have exchanged maybe 5 emails each way over he course of maybe 4 days. He sorta bamboozled me w/ the classic "my subscription is about to expire and I don't want to renew it. Can we exchange numbers/email addresses?" line.

I went for it.

The next morning, he texted me a picture of himself (not obscene or anything). I was thinking maybe that was a little soon but whatever. I was at work so I didn't really respond except to text back a "thnx" and a smilie face.

By 6:00 pm, he sent me another text, saying that he is thinking about me and can't wait to chat again.

Well, I have little kids and they don't go to bed until 9:00 pm. And I don't do any of this dating stuff until they are asleep and the nightly chores around the house are done.

At about 10:30, I got back on the site to check and respond to my mail (from various guys). There were three guys who I was planning to write good-sized replies to, and he was one of them. So I put those three last while I was just breezing thru the rest. At about 10:45, this guys sends me another text saying, "I have to admit, I missed chatting w/ you tonight. I was really looking forward to it. Are you chatting w/ your other man?"

He was startingto get on my nerves!

So I responded back, "I don't have a man. Or an *other* man. I'm just checking my mail. I'll get back at you tomorrow. Quit pouting."

I mean, I was dead serious. I don't like pouting or people trying to rush me or pressure me.

So at like 7:00 this morning, he texts me, "sounds like someone needs a good spanking."

huh?

OK, I don't like that. I think he's getting way too familiar. Do you agree? He seems like a great catch *on paper* and a nice guy. But to me, his approach is kinda inappropriate. Or am I just a prude? I just wanna shoot the breeze and get to know what kind of man he is. I don't want him going all stalkerish on me or getting sexual. We've only been communicating for 4 days. WTH?

I'm just trying to go thru my weed out process. Maybe I just need to cut those two off completely w/o any questions or explanations.

I already have a favorite in mind...but I hate to be too hasty and not at least consider some others.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 06-09-2010 at 08:59 AM.
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,533
Ew!

Dump him, SL! He sounds demanding and creepy.

As to your earlier question about "how long", I think it depends on the scenario and the rapport. I like writing, but not talking on the phone. Usually about a week of fairly steady corresponding works for me before I'm ready to meet someone.

HTH
The guy who says you need a good spanking needs a good kick in the sack. I hate guys like that, esp ones that I don't even know. I'd get annoyed too and I would probably cut him off after getting a text like that. I don't like to waste time either, its not a very mature response to your email. BTW, which site is this all from?
3b/c :: Fine :: Porous

I My Hair

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