The Official Online Dating Diaries Thread

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I'm going on date #3 with a guy I met on Match and I'm hesitant to go on many more after this one unless something blows me away on this date. He's a nice guy, but I have a few concerns....

I'm 36 and he's 32. That alone isn't a problem, I've dated younger and older. He's still living at home with his parents. That's a bit of a problem for me. I know that the economy is really tough right now, but he's never lived away from home. He also seems to be way more into me already than I am into him. We've only gone out twice, we've only talked maybe twice aside from those dates, and yet he's commented on how great I am, how happy he is that we met and how he can't wait until our parents meet....he's made other future-related comments and I'm just not ready to think that way. It's been two dates!! As far as I'm concerned, we barely know anything about each other and I'm not ready to say any of the things he's said to me.

I'm worried that, with where he is in his life and where I am in mine just don't match up. I've been on my own for a long time and I know what it takes to do that. I've lived with a man before, I've had room mates too. I want to have kids sooner than later and I can't do that with someone who's still living with his mom.

So what would you do? - would you just go with it and see where it goes? Would you try to talk to him, see how it goes after that if he's receptive? Would you cut your losses and move on? A friend told me that I'm putting too much pressure on myself with the whole time thing and being 36 and wanting a family, but the reality is that if I don't find "the guy" soon, I'm heading to either the sperm bank or the adoption agency within the next two years. I know it's only a few dates but I don't want to lead him on. He does seem like a nice guy and I don't want to hurt him. I also want to know that I gave him a fair chance before I decide to cut ties. I know that I'm a little gun shy because I've been hurt before....but I feel like my gut is telling me that this isn't "it".

Augh...dating is SO hard!!!! (I know, marriage isn't a walk in the park either...been there, done that, have the divorce papers to prove it.)
"It's hard to remember a time, when I didn't have you", Richie Sambora
"Boys are bad and men are stupid", WB's
"After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh" Mr. Big
geez, QC, that's a tough one! i don't know what to tell you.

this is the part that concerns me:

where he is in his life and where I am in mine just don't match up.
i do think people need to be "on the same page" for things to have a chance to work.

and that you have to feel "something" for there to be a reason to go forward.

i went on a date last night with a Very Nice Guy and i know this is going to be a "friendship only" situation already.
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Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
I think you need to go with your gut instincts and ignore your biological clock ticking. You are trying to give him a chance, but it doesn't sound like he's the one for you. I wouldn't waste anymore time and would move on. Tick, tick, tick.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
Quickcurl, you won't be doing either yourself or the guy any favors by setteling. And that's what you'd be doing if you stick around. He may be a nice guy, but you also need some sparks and both parties have to be on similar paths in their lives in order for a relationship to work. He deserves someone that loves him wholeheartedly, not someone who just tolerates him. You wouldn't want to be in this situation in reverse. I've dated a couple of guys who may have been nice, but in the end, they just didn't do it for me. Cut your losses and move on.
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Thank you all for your thoughts & advice!!

I think I just needed to hear someone, other than me, say that it's okay to go with my gut even though we've only gone out a few times. I do feel like I'm afraid that if I contine to "give him a chance" that I'm going to end up settling & that's not fair to either of us. I hate feeling like I'm making a snap judgement but the fact is is that I'm just not feeling "it" and he's saying stuff like "do you miss me" & "are you looking forward to seeing me" & I KNOW that stuff will drive me crazy as time goes on. I know that no longer seeing him is the right decision.

Thanks again! Back to the drawing board I go......
Normamargot likes this.
"It's hard to remember a time, when I didn't have you", Richie Sambora
"Boys are bad and men are stupid", WB's
"After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh" Mr. Big
oh great....

one of the few guys that i actually do find attractive and interesting based on our VERY short on-line interaction is also one of those types who will ONLY chat with one woman at a time!



i have NO intention of putting all my eggs in one basket right now...

geez!
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
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Why is that bad, rou? He can just focus on you, right?
after TWO emails????

come on, the guy hasn't even MET me!

it takes me a few dates to even think about that!
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043
Well, some folks these days are having the s-e-x after 2 emails...what do I know, I'm an old married lady
Rou how'd you know he's only talking to you?

I don't know if it's that bad, unless he's already being clingy or talking about you being his one & only. That might be creepy.

The date #3 guy has gotten the boot. I spoke with him last night and before I could really say much, he asked if it would be okay for him to change his relationship status on facebook to "in a relationship". Ummmm...no dude......just no.....
"It's hard to remember a time, when I didn't have you", Richie Sambora
"Boys are bad and men are stupid", WB's
"After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh" Mr. Big
^He sounds needy! :S
Rou how'd you know he's only talking to you?

I don't know if it's that bad, unless he's already being clingy or talking about you being his one & only. That might be creepy.

The date #3 guy has gotten the boot. I spoke with him last night and before I could really say much, he asked if it would be okay for him to change his relationship status on facebook to "in a relationship". Ummmm...no dude......just no.....
Originally Posted by quickcurl
HAHAHAHA! Um, the fact that he even asked would probably have me heaving him to the curb. I so don't do tentative guys. Hence the reason I'm single. But I do agree that this one should definitely have been tossed. Well done. (BTW, my bro and sis-in-law have been married for 15 years and her relationship status says single on Facebook. Mostly because of computer literacy issues, but still...does it really matter that much? I mean...really? Don't know that I'd change my status unless I got married. Silly people. *Sorry* End Rant.)
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Rou how'd you know he's only talking to you?

I don't know if it's that bad, unless he's already being clingy or talking about you being his one & only. That might be creepy.
Originally Posted by quickcurl
well, i do only have what he said to go on, but his exact words were that he's hidden is profile because he only "talks" to one woman at a time.

if he's expecting me to say or do the same, he better "unhide" his profile and keep going....
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
Oooooh. Well, it could be a good thing - he isn't a player and isn't comfortable having more than one woman in his life, or it could be bad - he may have insecurity issues and clings on or obsesses over one woman at one time. I used to hide my profile because I wasn't comfortable having everyone under the sun seeing it; I only wanted someone to read about me if I allowed them to. I dropped that notion when I realized I was being really controlling and paranoid for stupid reasons. If he expects you to only talk to him...to me, that's a high expectation for basically a stranger and it's controlling. No one tells me what to do, especially some guy I'm talking to on-line.

Just be careful, which it sounds like you're doing.
"It's hard to remember a time, when I didn't have you", Richie Sambora
"Boys are bad and men are stupid", WB's
"After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh" Mr. Big
okay, i haven't even looked at the guy's profile yet, just the screen name that came in my Meet Me mail from PoF had me laughing out loud and thinking i might be passing him by....

Balls of Furry!!!!

My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
Oy.

Or maybe he has cats or dogs?

Still, I would probably pass on that one too!
if it's dogs, we're okay!

i'm allergic to cats!

if he's referring to ANYTHING else....

i don't want to know!!!

My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
well, Mr. Furry lives up where Curly Canadian lives - a good 3 hours away from me - AND he smokes, a complete deal-breaker in my book.

which also shows he didn't read my profile since i flat out say at the beginning that smokers should move on to someone else!
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
I'm about to go on my first Match.com date. It's just meeting a guy for drinks but I'm nervous because I haven't done this before. I'm also not sure if I'm ready to date since my breakup is so recent. I just felt like I didn't want to be sitting at home sad and angry, I want to get out back out there. But it's scary and I don't really know how to act on a date anymore.

Here goes nothing...
HC, how was the date?

i have 2 with different people this weekend...
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!

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