There is a guy who has been after me since the day I joined two months ago. I tried to engage in friendly emailing with him at first but he P'd me off repeatedly and I wound up blocking him. After a few weeks, he cancelled his membership and rejoined as a new member so he could apologize to me and try again.
I guess I was moved by this and I accepted his apology...and after a couple more emails, wound up giving him my number.
(WHY???)
When I gave him my number I told him he could text me whenever but I'd appreciate if he didn't call before 5 pm (work).
So that same day, he called at 5:15, 5:30 and every fifteen minutes until I answered at 9:15pm.
And the conversation was so insane, I just had to share...
(mind you, this is the first conversation we've ever had, andf he is trying to dig himself out of the doghouse.)
Him: Spider, spider, spider, you tell me to call you at 5:00 and I have been calling you all night and you don't answer til nine. That's N-I-N-E.
Me: Sorry but I didn't say you had to call at 5:00. Or even at all. I just asked you not to call before 5:00.
Him: And you left this brother hanging all night. All night! That's N-I-G-H-T.
Me: I was out at a restaurant. Anyway, what's going on with you?
Him: I know you can have anyone you want. Anyone. A-N-Y-O-N-E. And you know, so can I. I have 300 messages in my inbox.
Me: OK?
Him: But I am not like all those other guys.
Me: Oh, really?
Him: No. I'm not trying to get between your legs. L-E-G-S. I actually care about you. Y-O-U.
Me: You care about me? We don't even know each other.
Him: But I still care about you. And what I need to do to is find out, during this conversation, how you feel about me.
Me: I don't feel any kinda way about you. As I said, we don't now each other. That is why I gave you my number...so we could get better acquainted.
Him: I aready know I care about you. C-A-R-E.
Me: OK, tell me why.
Him: Because you are no joke. You are used to men bowing down to you. And I ain't that kinda man. Because I could have whoever I wanted, but you have just captivated me from the moment I saw you and it's like there are no other women even on the site, besides you. I look at your profile almost every day and am mesmerized.
Me: But what specific things, from my profile, made you feel there was a connection?
Him: Because you got it going on!
Me: Specifically, what did I write in my profile that leads you to that conclusion?
Him: Well, it's not like I am on the computer right now and have your profile open.
Me: Perfect. Tell me what you remember from my profile that drew you in, specifically?
Him: uhhhhh...hmmmmm...you asked me too fast.
Me: I can ask it more slowly.
Him: OK, bc you are a hard worker.
Me: That's what you liked?
Him: And you're probably a good mother. If you have kids...I really can't remember. Do you have kids?
Me: It doesn't seem to me like you really read or remembered much from my profile about me.
Him: I'm not like these other dudes; I'm not trying to get between your legs. I mean, if that happens, cool. But that is not my objective. I care about you. C-A-R-E.
Me: Look, you're being a little too familiar in the way you are speaking to me. There is no reason to talk about about "getting btwn my legs" in our first conversation. Have some class, OK?
Him: What???? You don't think I have any class. I've been to college! All my mom's kids are college graduates. And I will be walking across the stage for a second time in December, getting my master's degree. That's M-A-S-T-E-R-S. So please don't say I have no class.
Me: Education is not class. And why do you keep spelling everything? English isn't a foreign language to me. That's a really strange habit.
Him: Oh, you don't like that? (LOL)
Me: No. And this conversation has left me speechless, so I'm going to go...I have a lot to do tonight.
Him: You may not believe this but I have been single for five years. F-I-V-E.
Me: You don't say.
Him: Really. And I wish you would give me a chance. I am actually kind of shy. And I have been totally enamored by you since the moment I saw you. When I opened up my email and I saw you had given me your phone number, I was like hallelujua! H-A-L-L...
Me: OK, I need to get going now.
Him: I want you to do one thing: call me tonight before you go to sleep. If you can, please.
Me: No, I won't be able to do that.
Him: OK.
Me: Good night.
331Likes
At least it seems like he got the hint at the end!
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